‘It will do you good!’
‘Well – what will?’
‘A little distraction like Josh.’
Kate looked shocked. ‘Oh no, we’re just friends, there’s nothing like that going on Olivia. Just friends,’ she repeated firmly.
‘Well more fool you!’
Kate stared at Olivia. ‘What?’
‘Oh come on Kate. I know you’re hoping Alex will come back …’
‘Alex is coming back!’
‘Well whatever,’ sniffed Olivia. ‘But whichever way you cut it Kate, he’s behaved very badly and I for one wouldn’t blame you if you comforted yourself in the arms of a hunk like Josh!’ and off she went, back to Helen’s side leaving Kate wide eyed with surprise.
‘She’s right,’ whispered a voice at her side and swinging round Kate found Sophie next to her. ‘Alex may come back …’
‘Alex is coming back!’ insisted Kate wondering if she should have a banner made.
‘Sophie shrugged, ‘Well maybe he will, but in the meantime he’s not here and Josh is,’ and she winked at an astounded Kate who was wondering when her love life had become the main topic of conversation among the salsa dancers.
A little while later Olivia and Helen reluctantly said they had to leave and Sophie pulled on her coat, grinning like a Cheshire cat and whispering to Kate that Alan had asked her out for a meal, just the two of them, which left Kate and Josh standing at the bar.
‘Can I interest you in a drink?’ asked Josh politely, his head tipped to one side as he waited for Kate’s reply.
‘Oh no, thank you but I suppose I should go as well.’
She fidgeted with her handbag. She knew that Fiona wasn’t at all worried about Kate getting back.
‘Right. I just thought we could go to the little bar down the road. It’s a lot quieter than this one,’ he winced as a guffaw of laughter flooded the bar. ‘We could chat, you can tell me how things are going.’
Kate was watching the dimple in his chin as he spoke, wondering how many other people thought she should forget her woes in Josh’s rather strong arms.
‘Kate?’
‘Oh er sorry.’ She looked away, it really was a very nice chin.
‘Well I shouldn’t really,’ she began uncertainly.
‘But …?
She smiled. ‘Okay, just one.’
The weather had improved immensely over the last week and as they walked down the road towards the tiny bar on the corner, Kate remembered how the very first night she had come to salsa she had almost frozen to the pavement.
‘Weather’s getting better isn’t it?’ Josh commented casually as though reading her mind.
It felt strange walking next to him thought Kate. With no Millie or buggy to occupy her hands it seemed almost natural for Kate to tuck her hand into the crook of Josh’s arm and let him guide her over the cobbles. How would that feel she wondered, how would it feel to walk along the street arm in arm with someone who wasn’t Alex? Would it feel odd or just good? Should she try it before she committed to having Alex back? Should she test out having a new man on her arm, just to see how it felt?
She realised Josh was looking at her expectantly.
‘Oh, er yes,’ she smiled. ‘Yes it is,’ and she pushed her hands deep into her pocket to avoid the temptation of his arm.
Josh opened the door for her and they slipped into the small comfortable bar where couples sat at scrubbed pine tables as they chatted and listened to melodious background music.
‘So,’ began Josh, stretching out his long legs and sipping at the beer in front of him. ‘what happened after Sunday?’
Kate sighed. ‘Well Alex phoned me the very next day,’ she said sheepishly. ‘Seeing me out with someone else seemed to peek his interest.’
Josh laughed. ‘Well, glad I could help!’
‘We went out, had a chat about – things, how they’d gone wrong, you know the kind of stuff.’
Josh had told her about his ex, Tanya whom he had been with for several years before she decided she wanted more, although under questioning from Josh had been unable to describe exactly what the ‘more’ was.
‘Well that’s good progress,’ said Josh cautiously. ‘And did it go well, this chat?’
Kate nodded slowly. She supposed it had gone well. It had achieved what Kate was hoping for, Alex had been reminded how much he missed her, he had realised that he had made a mistake, he was talking about trying again. All things that Kate would have sold her soul to hear a few weeks earlier. She decided now wasn’t the right moment to say that a part of her husband’s new interest in her was because he suspected that Kate and Josh were having a relationship.
‘I suppose it did.’
‘You don’t sound terribly sure.’
Kate looked down at the stem of her glass which she was twiddling.
‘Well, he said he thought he had made a mistake and he wanted to talk about how we could make things right.’
‘But that’s great news – at least for you and Alex,’ added Josh softly. ‘It may leave me broken hearted but I’m still pleased for you.’
Kate’s eyes flew to his. ‘You wouldn’t be broken hearted,’ she denied lightly, suddenly rather breathless as she waited for his answer.
Josh leaned over the table. ‘Oh I certainly would,’ he said softly, watching Kate blush.
‘But if it’s going as well as this, why don’t you look happier?’
Kate twiddled the glass some more.
‘Of course I’m happy,’ she started to say. But the words didn’t seem very convincing.
‘Well, there’s a way to go yet,’ she conceded. ‘Alex hasn’t actually said he’s coming back yet and he’s still with Sandra Maddison in the meantime.’
Josh frowned. ‘But surely he’ll move out? If he’s realised he’s made a mistake he’ll move out of the divine Sandra’s flat so he can come home to you?’
Kate shrugged. ‘Well he hasn’t yet.’
‘And that makes you unhappy?’
Kate chewed on her nail. It actually made her deeply unhappy. She had rejected Fiona’s claims that Alex was having a very large slice of cake and eating it but in fact her friend was right. That Alex seemed to be in the process of remembering the young woman he fell in love with and married was of course exactly what Kate wanted. That he remained in the arms of Sandra Maddison while he flirted with Kate on the phone was a niggling little thorn that had started to grow in Kate’s heart.
‘Mmm,’ mumbled Kate. ‘I suppose so.’
‘Because now you are the other woman?’
Her eyes flew to his.
‘The other woman?’
Josh shrugged. ‘It’s quite ironic I suppose. Alex left you for Sandra and now he’s seeing you behind Sandra’s back. In a strange way you’ve become the other woman.’
Kate didn’t reply, her thoughts were like fog swirling through her mind, hard to pin down, hard to rationalise. But Josh was right, Kate was the other woman. While Alex remained with Sandra but meeting Kate, flirting with Kate, asking her out on dates, then Kate had become the other woman.
Her mouth turned down.
‘Oh God, I’m sorry Kate! That was really insensitive of me.’
Josh was leaning forward, his eyes full of apologies but Kate shook her head. ‘No, you’re actually right. I hadn’t really thought of it like that but you’re right. Actually, it’s what Fee said as well but I wasn’t really, I mean I don’t really know …’
She trailed off, deep in thought and Josh sat back, not pressing her.
‘Actually,’ Kate cleared her throat,’ Alex wanted to meet me tonight.’
Josh sat very still. ‘But you didn’t go, obviously.’
They sat in silence.
‘Why?’ he asked quietly.
Kate shrugged. ‘I enjoy salsa.’
‘I see.’
‘I don’t want you to think that …’
Josh stopped her, putting his hand over Kate’s and she stared
at his fingers, remembering a few nights previously when Alex had covered her hand with his own.
‘I just enjoy salsa,’ she repeated. ‘It wasn’t for any other reason …’
‘Kate, you know that I want you to be happy. If that involves taking Alex back, then I hope it happens. But make no mistake, if I thought for a moment you didn’t want to be back with your husband, you’d be fighting me off.’
Kate looked down at their fingers resting together on the table. They were crammed into a small alcove with barely six inches between their bodies and as she looked up to meet Josh’s eyes she found they were suddenly a whole lot closer.
‘You don’t have to take Alex back. You know that don’t you Kate? You should decide what’s best for you.’
She glanced back at their fingers now entwined on the table top. She could feel his breath on her cheek, his voice a soft whisper floating between them.
‘And what’s best for you might not be to stay with Alex.’
She peeped upwards and now his eyes were so close she could see the dark blue fleck on his iris.
‘Josh I don’t think …’
‘You might be much, much happier with someone else entirely.’
‘But Alex and I …’
‘Much happier.’
‘Josh …’
But he was so close now there was no more room between them, not even for Kate’s unspoken words that faded to nothing as his lips drifted onto hers, very gentle, soft and warm and oh so delicious.
She should stop this, she thought. It was making things much more complicated than they needed to be. She should stop this straight away. But she found it surprisingly hard and instead she just let herself float into a wondrous fog of desire.
There was a sense of loss as he stopped kissing her, an empty feeling as he sat back slightly so he could look into her eyes.
‘You have choices Kate, remember you have choices,’ he whispered but Kate wasn’t really listening because his lips were on hers again and she decided she much preferred kissing Josh to talking about her husband.
Chapter 25
Kate woke up early. She had slept very little, eventually drifting off in the early hours but as the first rays of sun started appearing in the sky she was wide awake again, lying in bed staring at the ceiling. She had spent a great deal of time inspecting her bedroom ceiling since Alex had left. She was now intimately acquainted with the tiny crack that ran in a slightly wavy line towards the central light fitting. The cobweb that hung from the lampshade had been there for over two weeks but Kate hadn’t felt the need to brush it away.
She sighed. Arriving at Fiona’s last night she had collected a sleeping Millie but had not mentioned why she was later than usual and she certainly hadn’t mentioned anything about kissing Josh. Kate had a feeling that she didn’t need to tell Fiona. Maybe it was because Kate couldn’t stop smiling; maybe it was because she had drifted off and started thinking about Josh and his strong chin and the feel of his lips while Fiona was talking to her; maybe it was the look in her eyes or maybe her lips just looked kissed. Whatever it was, Kate had seen the way her friend was looking at her and she was expecting a call today from Fiona demanding an update.
And what an update it would be! Kate sighed again before giving up any pretence of sleep and sliding out of bed. She pulled on her dressing gown and crept down the stairs quietly so she didn’t disturb Millie and sat at the kitchen table with a cup of tea and her phone.
The memory of Josh’s lips on hers was one reason Kate had been unable to sleep. She had tossed and turned feeling alternatively guilty for allowing the contact and then shivering with delight as she relived the moment. She shouldn’t be kissing Josh, she had berated herself. She shouldn’t be kissing anyone, Alex excluded. She was desperately trying to save her marriage and persuade her husband to come back home, now was certainly not the time to complicate things with a little romance of her own, regardless of what Olivia and Sophie may think. And yet ….
That little trickle of delight slid down her spine again. She had looked into Josh’s eyes last night and it had been so very easy to put Alex to one side for a few moments as she let herself be caught up in the pleasure of Josh’s kiss.
She had smiled all the way home, she had smiled as she tucked Millie into her cot and she had smiled and hugged herself as she made a cup of tea before going to bed. She had looked in the mirror and seen her flushed face and sparkling eyes. Her mouth did look thoroughly kissed, she decided, no wonder Fiona had looked at her so searchingly. And even as Kate told herself firmly that it was a moment of madness not to be repeated, she still couldn’t help the little smile that tilted her lips.
But then Kate had checked her phone, one last time before sliding into bed and her eyes had widened as she saw a message from Alex. It must have arrived when she was dancing and she just hadn’t noticed. Or maybe after the dancing when she was in the pub allowing Josh to kiss her. Maybe Alex was sitting somewhere, sending a message to his wife as she sat kissing someone else. Her heart had fluttered as she read his words.
So sorry Kate. You are right, I can’t be angry with you about salsa and I can’t expect you to talk about me coming back home when I’m still with Sandra. Have moved out, tonight. Staying with a friend. Can we meet tomorrow? Need to talk. Alex xxx
Kate had stared at the message for what seemed like hours. She read it and reread it, then read it again. Her heart was beating loudly and her hands were shaking. Alex had moved out of Sandra’s flat. He had left Sandra. He wanted to talk. Alex had left Sandra and wanted to talk to Kate – all these thoughts were tumbling through her brain where they collided with the still vivid memory of Josh and the way his lips had felt on hers until she thought her head would explode.
Alex had left Sandra and that meant only one thing. Kate had won, Alex was coming home.
She had lived this moment so many times before. She had laid in bed imagining Alex knocking on the door and telling her he missed her, saying he had made a mistake and wanted to come home. She had wandered around the shops in a daydream, a dream where Alex was waiting for her when she returned home, desperately sorry for Sandra Maddison and her come to bed eyes and her whispered enticements and just wanting Kate to forgive him. She had dreamed so many different versions, all ending the same way, Alex back at home, the family reunited. In every scenario Kate had felt unbelievable joy. She had taken his hand and smiled graciously and said yes she could forgive him and of course Alex could come home. In every dream she had felt her heart fill with relief and love as everything fell back into place.
But now the moment was so very near, Kate couldn’t seem to find those feelings anywhere in her heart. She was having a great deal of difficulty pushing out the image of Josh’s eyes only inches from her own and the feel of his lips on hers and replacing that memory with a picture of Alex. The relief, the happiness, they all seemed conspicuous in their absence. Instead there was a great deal of pain, more than a little anger and a whole lot of confusion.
Kate pulled her phone towards her to read the message again. Perhaps it was just the stress of the last few weeks. She wanted Alex back more than anything else in the world so the lack of excitement was purely stress she decided. Tonight when Alex came round, when she saw his face, the eyes that she had loved since the first time she looked into them, she would feel so happy. She would feel an avalanche of joy flood into her heart. She just knew she would.
Warming her hands on her mug, Kate stared out into the garden. Millie would be awake soon. If Kate were honest she didn’t think that Millie had missed her father particularly. Maybe at the weekends when Millie had both parents in the house. Maybe on a Sunday morning when Kate would bring Millie into bed with them for 10 minutes before she got up to make Alex his breakfast. But generally, she didn’t think Millie had really noticed the absence of her father in her life.
Kate sighed deeply. She remembered the day they had come home from the hospital with their tiny daughter. Alex had opene
d the door, taking hold of Kate’s arm to guide her over the threshold and then into the living room to place Millie in the Moses basket waiting in the corner. They had stood side by side, holding their breath in awe as the little figure wriggled for a moment before settling down. Alex had slid his arm around Kate’s waist and rested his chin on her head, his eyes not leaving Millie’s scrunched up face.
‘She so very small,’ he had said in a whisper, holding Kate tightly. ‘I’m worried I’ll crush her!’
Kate giggled. ‘Make the most of her Alex, everyone says they grow up so very quickly.’
Alex had smiled, his eyes still glued to his daughter. ‘I can’t wait,’ he said, ‘and then we can have another one.’
Kate winced and Alex laughed softly. ‘Too soon for such talk?’
‘Definitely!’
They watched Millie for a few more minutes before Alex pulled Kate round to face him. ‘I love you Kate, I love you and this perfect little creature you’ve produced. I’ll love you both for the rest of my days,’ and he had kissed her, a long passionate kiss that had left tears in Kate’s eyes.
Kate pressed a trembling hand to her lips. Alex may have struggled to keep his promise but she believed that he still loved her. He had lost his way a little but he had remembered how much Kate and Millie meant to him.
Kate heard Millie snuffling, heard her starting to stir. She deserved to grow up with a father. Kate deserved to spend the rest of her life with her husband. Alex deserved to come home. Kate would forgive him, they would get over this blip and spend the rest of their lives together as intended.
She tipped back her head and taking a deep breath she gently pushed aside the memory of Josh allowing Alex’s face to take centre stage. Josh had been a mistake and Kate needed to take herself in hand. She would see Alex this evening and they would talk about the future and how they could recover. And Kate would be happy.
When the doorbell pealed out, Kate was in the kitchen, twisting her hands together anxiously. She had spent the afternoon on Google researching the protocol of a potential reconciliation meeting with a wayward ex. She had washed her hair and brushed it until it shone. She had dressed in a tight fitting top and slim trousers and made up her face carefully; it was essential, she read, that her husband remember the woman he fell in love with. The article had accused women of making so much effort in the early days of a relationship and not caring at all towards the end. Why would your husband stay, it had asked, if you don’t even bother brushing your hair or putting on a swipe of lipstick for him when you hear his key in the door.
Google Your Husband Back: An wonderful tale of love, loss and how to get your husband back! Page 20
