by N. L. Greene
“What’s her problem?” he asked; motioning to Mel with a nod of his head.
I glanced her way and then back to the sandwich I was picking apart in my lap. “I don’t know. I think she’s mad I’m going out with you tonight.”
“Why would she be mad?”
I shrugged and looked up to see him watching Mel with narrowed eyes. “I don’t know, but every time I try to talk to her about our date, she rolls her eyes and changes the subject.”
He glanced back at me, then threw his arm around my shoulders and pulled me close. “She’s jealous,” he said matter-of-factly.
My head jerked back and I looked up at him with disbelieving eyes. “Yeah, right! Mel jealous of me? Whatever.” I scoffed at the sheer absurdity of those words.
This time he turned his narrowed eyes on me. “Why do you find that so hard to believe? I told you there was something I didn’t like about her, and now I know what it is. She’s jealous of you and treats you like shit sometimes because of it.”
I pulled back and looked at him like he was crazy. Because he totally was if he really thought Mel would be jealous of me! “Trust me. Mel has absolutely no reason to be jealous of me. Guys always look right past me to her, and why wouldn’t they? Look at her, and then look at me. There’s no comparison. And she doesn’t treat me like shit.”
“I am looking at you, Nat. You are one of the most beautiful girls I have ever met, and you became even more beautiful when I got to know you. Guys only pass you over because you make yourself seem invisible when you’re with her. You let her dominate you and everyone senses that. Not to mention the fact that she looks easy.” He raised an eyebrow, daring me to argue. Part of me wanted to, but I was still stuck on the fact that he said he thought I was beautiful. No one had ever told me that before.
“You think I’m beautiful?” I asked softly.
Chase shook his head and pulled me close, placing a kiss on the top of my head. “Duh.”
We both chuckled, and then I remembered what we were talking about. Enjoying the comfort of being in his arms, I didn’t pull away, so I was speaking into his chest when I said, “Thank you, but I just don’t know. Mel’s my best friend. I don’t think she’s jealous, and she doesn’t really treat me like shit. She just has an uber strong personality, and most people don’t get her the way I do.”
Chase let out a long breath and then sagged against me. “I don’t want to argue with you. I just want you to look out for yourself, okay?” he asked with a squeeze to my arm before pulling away.
“Okay,” I told him; wondering why he really thought those things about Mel, and wondering if I should as well. Sure there were times when the things Mel said upset me or hurt my feelings, but she always did them out of friendship and love, didn’t she? My thoughts scattered when the bell to end lunch rang. Chase and I quickly gathered our stuff and met Mel at the gym door. She gave me a suspicious look, like she knew we had been talking about her, and it made me nervous. Chase took my hand and tugged me out the door, like he could sense that I was apprehensive. Was I really that transparent to everyone? No one spoke as we walked to class. Chase left me with his usual kiss to the cheek, and Mel grunted a goodbye. The rest of the day I was left to wonder if Chase was right about Mel.
Chapter 7
After school I walked all the way home with Mel and Ash. I’d made sure to have all my chores done the day before so I wouldn’t have to go home first. My parents had been reluctant to let me go straight to her house after school, but they finally caved in after I spent hours begging them. At first things were still a little tense when we started walking home. Mel still seemed mad at me, and I was starting to get mad at her. Chase had put things in my head that were making me wonder about the kind of person Mel was. I wasn’t ready to voice them, but I was definitely thinking them. Ash was the one who finally broke the tension, as she started to tell a funny story about some kid in her class who had made a fool of himself.
We all walked the rest of the way home like we normally did, except we didn’t have to stop on the way to smoke. Mel’s parents wouldn’t be home before we went out, so that meant we could just smoke at her house. Ash went home to change, saying she would come over as soon as she was ready. We knew it wouldn’t take her long, so we started getting ready too. Mel helped me pick out what I was going to wear, but only after first rejecting every outfit I picked. I didn’t mind though, because admittedly her choice was hot. Short black shorts with thin cuffs at the bottom to keep them from looking slutty, a red gauzy top that was loose and low cut without showing anything (even though there wasn’t anything to show), and black wedged sandals. Then she readjusted my hair and make-up after I thought it was done. Again, I couldn’t really be mad when I saw the final result. Not only was my outfit hot, but I was too. When I looked at myself in the mirror, I had to admit that I liked what I saw. I looked a little bit older, but everything was still tasteful enough to keep me from looking like a hooker. Mel was right; I looked way better than I usually did.
How could I have ever thought she was jealous of me when she did invaluable things like this? If she was jealous, wouldn’t she have tried to make me look worse, or even have tried to do something to sabotage my date? That’s what I would expect if the idea were true - not for her to help me.
“So, what do you think?” Mel finally asked me, while taking a long drag from her cigarette.
“I love it!” I squealed, and ignored Mel’s cringe at the high pitched sound. “Thanks so much!” I gushed.
“I knew you would! I told you to just trust me, and thank goodness you did. I don’t even want to know what Chase would have thought if he’d seen you the way you looked before.” She mock shuddered and I rolled my eyes.
“It wasn’t that bad! I wear stuff like that to school every day.” I defended myself, even though I was still admiring my reflection in the mirror.
“Um, yeah. My point exactly.” She gave me a look like she thought I was stupid.
“Well it couldn’t have been that bad if Chase asked me out while I was at school!” I said triumphantly, which only earned me another scorching look.
“Nat, get a clue. He only asked you out to try and get in your pants.” I shook my head in denial at her words. Chase wasn’t like that! I could tell. She just rolled her eyes and handed me the cigarette. “Okay, you’ll see,” she said cryptically. Before I could ask her about it further, her bedroom door swung open and Ash bounced in happily.
“Ready bitches?” she yelled as she snagged the cigarette from my fingers.
“Yep. Let me go tell James we’re ready.”
I watched as Mel left the room and Ash’s eyes lit up. She definitely had a crush on Mel’s brother, but was still denying it. I almost laughed at how obvious she was without even realizing it, but I managed to hold it in. James was eighteen now and still paid attention to me in a way I didn’t like, but I’d realized that he was noticing Ash more and more. I was secretly hoping they would get together so he would just leave me alone, but I kept that to myself.
Mel came back a few minutes later and told us it was time to go. We all talked in the car on the way to the mall, and I couldn’t help the excitement that was building. James grumbled some choice remarks about being our chauffeur, but I could tell that he really only minded taking Mel. He was always nice to me and Ash. He did eye us up and down when he dropped us off, and even looked like he was about to say something, but then Mel told him to shut up and be back in four hours to pick us up. He flipped her off and drove away. If I wasn’t sure of how much James liked me and Ash, I would have been worried about whether or not he would actually come back to get us.
Mel, Ash, and I walked around for a while, checking out clothes and even trying some on. Before I knew it, it was time to meet Chase over at the movie theater. I started freaking out; my palms were already sweaty, and my stomach felt like a swarm of butterflies were kung fu fighting in there. I even walked toward the bathroom a few times, thinking I might puk
e. Mel just smirked at me, but Ashley tried to calm me down; reminding me of all the times that Chase and I had already hung out and how comfortable I should feel. I tried to take her advice and calm down as we walked toward where Chase said he would meet me.
When I turned the corner and saw him, my nerves immediately calmed. Chase’s eyes nearly bugged out of his head when he saw me walking toward him. He took my hand right away and pulled me into a tight hug. He kissed me on the lips, and it lasted just a second longer than the others had. Suddenly my whole body turned to mush. “Hey,” he breathed onto my lips.
“Hey,” I whispered back.
Mel cleared her throat; forcing Chase and I to look at her. “I’ll see you after,” she said, before stomping off in the other direction. Ash just shrugged, squeezed my hand as she said goodbye, and then followed after Mel.
“What’s her deal?” Chase asked with a scowl on his face.
I shrugged. “Don’t know. You ready?” I asked; turning back to him and hoping to avoid talking about Mel anymore.
“Yep.” He smiled down at me and pulled me closer to him as we walked to the theater together. Chase had already bought our tickets, so we went right in and found seats in the back row, sitting right in the middle. He took my hand in his, lifted the armrest, and tucked me against his side. I liked that he didn’t hesitate when doing this, and I also liked that it felt so natural. We began to watch the movie, but I couldn’t stop sneaking glances at him. He was so cute! Finally on one of my furtive glances, his eyes met mine. He smiled at me in the dark and tugged me closer to him. His face leaned in, his lips touched mine, and I just stayed there waiting to see if he would try to deepen the kiss. I wasn’t sure of what to do, but I knew that I didn’t want the kiss to end. After a few seconds, when he usually would have pulled away, he leaned in more; his lips slightly parting. I felt his tongue peek out and touch my lips. My heart pounded, and a soft gasp escaped my mouth. Chase took advantage and slipped his tongue into my mouth; touching it to mine. I still wasn’t sure what I was supposed to do, but Chase was patient and didn’t seem to mind showing me. Our tongues mingled softly as our lips slid against each other, and Chase reached his other arm around to place it on my hip and pull me even closer to him. After a few moments, he pulled back and rested his forehead against mine. We were both breathing heavily and my lips were tingling.
“I really like you Nat,” he whispered; his warm breath fanning my face.
“I really like you too, Chase,” I whispered back.
We smiled at each other for a second before turning back to finish watching the movie. Chase’s arms were still securely wrapped around me. I liked it.
When the movie was over, I couldn’t even remember what it was about. I sat there through the entire movie, just staring at the screen, thinking about my first kiss and how absolutely amazing it had been, and how I couldn’t wait to do it again.
Chase tugged on my hand and I followed him out of the theatre. When we got outside, I told him I needed to use the restroom. “I’ll wait right here for you,” he said with a quick hard kiss to my lips. I practically skipped to the bathroom and hurried as fast as I could to get back to him.
I finished up in record time, and sought Chase out as soon as I stepped out of the door. I glanced around excitedly until I found him, and that’s when I saw it. He and Mel were standing off to the side, lips touching. I blinked a few times, not comprehending what I was seeing, but it only took a moment before it registered. My boyfriend and my best friend were kissing. My stomach dropped and I felt my heart shatter into a million pieces. Not again! “What the fuck?” I breathed out; still rooted in the same spot. I was so stunned that I couldn’t even form enough of a coherent thought to move my feet. Someone finally came out of the bathroom behind me and ran into me, effectively knocking me into motion. I stomped over to my boyfriend and my best friend, tears already streaming down my face.
“What. The. Fuck?” That time my voice was much louder than a whisper. They both sprang apart; Chase looking guilty and Mel looking smug.
“Told you he was a jerk.” She wiped her lips with the back of her hand before she stepped beside me and tried to wrap her arm around my shoulder.
I shrugged her arm off and moved away from her, before looking at her in utter disbelief. “Are you kidding me? You’re going to touch me after that?” I spit at her.
Her face fell and tears began to form in her eyes. “I was only showing you that he was just like all the rest! If he’s going to kiss me like that while you’re ten feet away in the bathroom, what else would he do behind your back?”
“Are you fucking kidding me?” Chase sputtered. “I did not kiss you, you kissed me!” His voice was raised, almost yelling, and I could see that people were starting to look. But he didn’t care. He glared at Mel with a vehement anger I had never seen from anyone before.
It didn’t even faze her. She lifted her chin and defended herself. “Right! Like I would really do that to my best friend?” Now tears were spilling down her face and Chase’s face only grew angrier. I didn’t know who to believe! They both looked so convincing.
Chase turned to me, pleading. “Nat, I swear, she walked up to me and just kissed me. I did not do that! I don’t even like her!” He reached for my hand, but I jerked away from him too. I moved off to the side, away from both of them. Tears stung my eyes, which blurred my vision so much that I could barely even see them anymore. Chase saw the look in my eye, the disbelief mixed with confusion, and he started to panic. “Please, Natalie! You have to believe me. I told you that she was jealous of you. She did this on purpose!”
“Why? Why would she do that, Chase?” I needed an answer, and if there was even the remotest chance he could give me one - well I didn’t know what I would do, but I just hoped he gave me one.
He took a deep breath and lowered he eyes. “I don’t know Nat.” My shoulders dropped, and all the ardent hope I had for us fled. He looked back up and took a step toward me, but stopped when I took a matching step back. “I don’t know, Nat, but I swear that I didn’t kiss her. I would never do something like that to hurt you! You have to believe me.”
I wanted to – there was nothing I wanted more, but I was so confused. I glanced over at Mel, who still had tears running down her face; her eyes cast downward and her shoulders slumped in a way I had never seen before. I didn’t know who to believe or what to do. So I did the only thing that seemed logical.
I turned and ran.
I didn’t know where I was going. All I knew was that I had to get away from them. I also knew that James would be there in about an hour to pick me, Mel and Ash up and I needed to be able to at least face them when the time came. I didn’t even know where Ash was, come to think of it, but I didn’t really care. Even Ash and her helpful, positive personality couldn’t have made me feel better in that moment.
I ended up in a bathroom stall on the other side of the mall where I washed my face and tried to make myself look a little better, but after looking at my reflection in the mirror for far too long, I knew it was hopeless. My hair was a mess, and the area under my eyes was puffy not only from crying, but also from scrubbing the trails of mascara off my face. My lips were swollen from biting them, and the whites of my eyes were bloodshot. I looked like shit, but I felt even worse. After I came to the conclusion that I was a lost cause in the looks department, I left the bathroom and aimlessly wandered the mall for the next forty-five minutes. I thought about what had happened and what both Chase and Mel said to me. Both of them denied being at fault, with each blaming the other for what happened. I wanted to believe both of them just as much as I didn’t want to believe either one of them. The sad truth was, I probably wouldn’t ever know for a fact what actually happened, so it all just boiled down to who I wanted to believe.
If I chose to believe Chase I would keep my boyfriend, probably have an amazing relationship with him for a few months, and then eventually we would break up. Hey - I was only fifteen years old, and
as much as I liked Chase and would want our relationship to last forever, I also knew that it wasn’t likely. But if I chose to believe Mel, there was a better chance of our friendship lasting forever. We’d been best friends for over five years, and had been through so much together already. I knew that if I stuck with her, she would stick with me. But I also knew that if I took Chase’s side over hers, there would be no going back from that decision. Mel would feel betrayed, and she would never forgive me.
As hard as the choice was, it was startlingly just as easy. I knew Chase thought Mel was jealous of me, and I hated to admit that I had even started to believe him. But I just couldn’t see Mel doing something as crazy as this just to hurt me. I had to believe her and to trust that she would never hurt me like this again. Decided, I resolutely made my way back to the movie theater where I knew Mel and Ash would be waiting for me. I hesitated as I approached; worried that Chase would still be there as well. As I peeked around the corner, I let out a relieved sigh when I saw only Mel and Ash standing there. They were huddled together just inside the big, glass doors that led outside. Mel had her head bowed and her arms crossed over her chest, and I thought that she looked sad. Ash, though, surprised me. She looked angry, and she was obviously yelling at Mel. I tried to approach quietly, but they both heard me before I could hear what they were talking about. They abruptly stopped talking and watched me as I got closer.
“You okay honey?” Ash asked with genuine concern.
I couldn’t answer for fear of crying again, so I just nodded my head.
“I’m really sorry, Nat,” Mel mumbled.
Again, I just nodded. I may have chosen to believe her, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t still hurt and angry.
