by Scott, Inara
It was absurd, but that gesture soothed the torrent of thoughts cascading through her mind. Perhaps she wasn’t entirely crazy. Perhaps there was something more to him than desire. Perhaps her body was responding to something he would never have admitted he felt. Unlikely, of course, but even the thought that he understood, on some level, how intense this moment was, meant something to her.
Gratefully, she squeezed back.
They walked to their clothes in silence. He handed her his shirt. “You should dry off.” His voice was low, gravelly, as if it hadn’t been used for a long time.
She wiped the smooth cotton across her breasts and belly, and then handed it back. It smelled like him—spicy and masculine. Impossible to define.
The air had turned cool, and goose bumps stood out on Alix’s arms and legs as she slid Maria’s clothes over her damp skin. She shivered and wrapped her arms around her waist.
“You’re chilled. We should get inside,” Ryker said.
That was when the first note of panic pierced the sensual haze that lingered in her mind. Inside? Inside meant his house, and his house meant his bed, which meant…
“Ryker, I need to get back to my hotel,” she said.
He touched her cheek briefly with the back of his hand, a careless, intimate gesture that had her resolve melting in an instant. “Why ever would you do a thing like that,” he breathed, placing a kiss close to her ear. “When there’s a bed right upstairs?”
Alix closed her eyes and shook her head. She should tell him now, again, that she wasn’t going to sleep with him. Reassert herself. Make her intentions plain.
But what were her intentions? Hadn’t she just opened her legs, in the most literal of ways, to this man?
He doesn’t care about you, her mind screamed.
Or did he? Did some part of him care?
“I didn’t mean that to happen,” she blurted out. “It doesn’t change anything. I’m sorry, I don’t mean to be a tease. I really like you, but I’m not going to sleep with you.”
Ryker stopped. A frustrated sigh emerged from tight lips. “I don’t mean to question you, but why the hell not? I mean, I understand being safe. God knows I get myself tested and make sure I don’t spread any little Rykers around. But after what happened out there”—he gestured toward the water—“is sex all that different?” He laughed a trifle nervously. “You aren’t a virgin, are you?”
“No,” she said quietly. “I’m not. But I decided a long time ago that casual sex was off-limits. For reasons I can’t really explain.”
He studied her silently. After an interminable pause, he shrugged. “Fine.”
“Fine? What does that mean?”
“It means fine. We won’t have sex. I can handle that. I like you, Alix, and we’re finally making some progress with the movie. I’d hate to do anything that would jeopardize that. So we might as well decide now to leave the sex out of the picture. It will make things easier down the road.”
She didn’t like the way her heart dropped at the casual way he had agreed with her. “And,” she said slowly, “we pretend this night never happened?”
Ryker shook his head. He leaned forward and took her breath away with a kiss as thorough and intense as any she had ever experienced. “Oh no. I’m not forgetting anything.”
He headed toward the house. She blinked and watched him go, unable to move, thanks to the rush of desire that turned her legs to jelly.
The sand squeaked under her feet as she struggled to catch up with him. “Ryker! Ryker, you bastard, what the hell is that supposed to mean?”
He started up the multi-tiered stairway back to his house. She was a few feet behind when she heard the first chuckle.
“You can’t just kiss me and then walk away like that, you know,” Alix demanded. “We’ve got to settle this thing between us.”
He laughed again.
She started to seethe. “We aren’t going to do this again, right? You agree?”
“Alix,” he said, his voice thick with laughter, “you are an original. You know that, don’t you?”
“Don’t you patronize me! I’m serious. You touch me again, and I’m out of here. Got it?”
“Whatever you say. Now hurry up; tomorrow’s going to be a busy day.”
#
Lena glared at the tiny dictator she had come to hate over the past two weeks. Alix Z stood in the far corner of the set, busily setting herself to fade into the background as the cameras were positioned for another take. She didn’t sit in a chair beside Ryker, prominently displayed in the center of the room. She didn’t follow the cameras with her viewfinder and mumble under her breath or swear when the scene didn’t go as she pleased.
Sometimes you would forget she was there for minutes at a time.
But then she’d resurface, like a damned ghost, and whisper something in your ear. “Caress him, Salva,” she’d say, “don’t stroke, caress…” Or, “yield to him, Salva. You keep fighting and seducing. It’s time to yield.” It was like having a sexual Jiminy Cricket on your shoulder, telling you exactly what you already knew you should be doing.
And her eyes, they were so…knowing. She looked at Lena and then looked at Jake, and Lena had the painful feeling that she was being watched from the inside out.
Jake was eating it up, the bastard. He’d spent the two weeks mooning around after her, lapping up her direction like she was Steven freaking Spielberg. But of course Alix had nice things to say to him. When she whispered in his ear, it was only to ask him for more. More inner struggle. More suspicion. Lena, on the other hand, never seemed to get it right.
“One more time,” Ryker called. “From the top. It’s getting better, but we’re still not there. Lena, you know what we need, and we’re going to keep shooting until we get it.”
Lena wanted to scream. Of course, Ryker wasn’t happy with her. He hadn’t been happy for weeks, so that was nothing new. Having Alix there hadn’t changed a thing. He still wanted to blame anything that went wrong on Lena.
But there was something different about him today. He kept giving Alix these moony, steamy looks when he didn’t think anyone was watching. Something had happened between the two of them the night before, Lena would bet. Hard to believe, but looks like that didn’t lie.
Well, they could screw like bunnies, for all she cared. Maybe that would get Ryker off her back.
“Ryker, we’ve got a hair in the gate on the A Camera,” Frank called. “I need a few minutes.”
Ryker glared at him. The gate was the opening on the camera where the film was exposed to light. A hair on the gate meant that a dark line would be visible on any film they shot until the gate was cleaned. “All right, short break everyone.”
Lena sighed with relief. She eyed the piles of food on the back table, her gaze lingering on the glazed donuts, and waged a brief inner struggle. Black coffee, she decided, would have to do.
“Lena, why don’t you come for a little walk with me?” Alix appeared at Lena’s side without making a sound.
Lena jumped. “What are you, some kind of witch?”
“Sorry,” Alix replied, corners of her mouth turned down in a rueful smile, “it’s a habit I picked up from working weddings. They don’t like it when the photographer is louder than the priest.”
“Sure, whatever. I suppose it is stuffy in here.” Lena grabbed her purse without waiting for Alix to follow. She pounded across the soundstage to the exterior door. The sun was almost directly overhead, and she immediately wished she had her sunglasses. She began to pace up and down the concrete path. It had been three years since she’d had a cigarette, but the desire to smoke had been burning a hole in her gut ever since she’d started this damned movie.
She pulled a stick of gum from her purse and began to chew vigorously.
“Tell me, Lena, how many movies have you made?” Alix asked. She leaned against the building, her loose jeans sliding down somewhere near her hips. She wore a thin blue T-shirt that clung to her generous br
easts. Alix had one of those curvy bodies that looked like crap on the screen but in real life, men seemed to like. Or at least, they like to screw. Who knew what men really liked. Jake’s little tramp had had a body like that. Back then, he’d always told Lena she was too skinny. But he knew as well as she did that gaining weight wasn’t an option. Not if she wanted to keep making movies.
Lena examined her nails. “Six.”
“And how many did you star in?”
“Two.”
“And how many times did you take top billing?”
Lena frowned. “Never. What the hell are you driving at?”
“This is all new for you, isn’t it. The attention. The pressure.”
“No, not really. Like I said, I’ve starred in two other films. It isn’t like I’m a nobody.”
Alix acknowledged the truth of Lena’s statement with a short nod. “Of course not. But this film is riding on your shoulders. Do you think about that? Ever wonder why Ryker cast you?”
Of course she thought about it. Of course she wondered why Ryker had cast her. She’d wondered about it every night for the past six months. But she didn’t intend to tell Miss Smarty-Pants that. “Because I was on the cover of Maxim the month he was casting the show?”
Alix shook her head. “You’re used to people thinking of you as nothing but a pretty face, aren’t you?”
Lena looked up from her contemplation of her manicure. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“You’ve been cast as a hooker, a model, a single woman who almost breaks up a marriage, a hot girl a geek tries to date, and a spy’s love interest. What do you think I mean?”
“So? Maybe I am a pretty face. What’s wrong with that?”
“Nothing. Except, someone forgot to give you the message that you’re also a decent actor.”
Lena snorted. “Right. Look, I’m not saying I can’t act, but that’s not what they want me for. I’m the eye candy. The lure we throw out to bring in the boys. There’s nothing wrong with that, but don’t expect me to be Meryl Streep, okay? I’m doing the best I can.”
“What are you most scared of, Lena? Is it trying to act and having the critics say you didn’t succeed, or not being able to hide your feelings from Jake anymore?”
Lena’s mouth dropped open, and a jolt of cold fear ripped through her. “Jake? What does this have to do with Jake?”
Slowly, Alix extracted a tube of lip balm from the pocket of her jeans. She slid the tube between her fingers, back and forth, until somehow the gesture became lewd. Lena watched, fascinated, as Alix ran one finger around the top, then down the side. She pulled off the cap and rubbed the ChapStick over her lips. Lena couldn’t look away from her mouth. Absurd as it should have been, those full lips instantly became a focal point of sensuality. When Alix rubbed her lips together and pursed her mouth into the suggestion of a kiss, it was as if she was communicating directly with a lover.
“You can make anything sexy,” Alix said softly, putting the tube back in her pocket. “It’s all in the way you approach it. I could go down on this ChapStick, and if I believed it enough, it would excite the men who watched me. As far as I can tell, you’ve been working all morning to convince yourself that you don’t find Jake sexy. That he doesn’t turn you on. That you aren’t going to melt if he touches your face or kisses your neck. You’re scared, and even if you refuse to admit it, it’s destroying the film.”
Lena sucked in her breath. “So it wasn’t enough to have Ryker beating up on me? They had to hire someone else to do it too?”
Alix crossed her arms over her chest. “I have no interest in beating up on you. But you’re holding back, and I can’t have that.”
Lena bit her lip, feeling an unexpected tightness in the back of her throat. “You don’t know me.” She had to swallow hard to continue. “You don’t know anything about me.”
Alix lifted her enormous glasses and pushed them back into her hair. She met Lena’s eyes in a hard, intense stare. “You’re an actress. A decent actress, though you’re doing your best not to admit it. We can figure this out together, but you can’t keep holding back. He’s a tube of lipstick. A boy you dated in high school whose name you can’t recall. He’s nothing. You are the star.” Her voice was low, mesmerizing in its intensity. “You are the star. Now start acting like one.”
Chapter Sixteen
Alix ignored Ryker’s raised eyes as she walked back through the door with Lena. She wasn’t sure if her little pep talk had made a difference, but it was clear that something needed to change, and soon. Ryker wouldn’t let Lena keep shooting herself and the rest of the cast in the foot. At some point, he was going to lose patience, and Lena would find herself in a very bad position.
Even with her eyes averted, she could feel him watching her, and as if of their own accord, her hips took on a new, sensual sway. They hadn’t talked much on the way back to her hotel last night. Ryker kept watching her out of the corner of his eye with a gaze thick with promise. She wasn’t sure if she found it insulting or thrilling. She had no idea what he thought their future would hold, but she had a feeling it wasn’t just friendship.
Alix had wrestled with her body for hours before dropping off to sleep. She considered all the reasons she didn’t want to sleep with him and all the reasons she did. In the end, she’d woken up with no better answer to her dilemma than she’d had the night before. She wanted him, but she needed love. And she had no doubt that when it came to Ryker, falling in love would be nothing less than disaster.
Then again, millions of people had sex without being in love. There was no reason why she couldn’t be one of them.
“Are we ready yet?” Alix asked Ryker, clearing her mind of any thoughts of love or sex as she came to stand beside him. She kept her voice low as Lena positioned herself on the edge of the sofa. Lena’s eyes were glassy, and she looked dazed. “I think we need to shoot now. I mean, right now.”
Ryker seemed to realize that she was serious and clapped his hands as he called everyone back to attention. With a few brisk commands, the crew was in place.
“Action!”
Jake entered the room, stalked around the set, and ended up in front of Lena. They’d run this scene, the same one they’d rehearsed Alix’s first day on the set, at least fifty times already that morning. Practiced it, shot it from various angles. Each time, it was wrong. Though Jake seemed to be responding well to her changes, Lena was getting worse by the day. She looked like a marionette, going through motions someone had laid out for her. Alix felt certain her new staging and composition would help the film, but Lena’s performance had to improve, or nothing else would matter.
Jake murmured his lines, his body practically radiating repressed passion. If nothing else, this movie would renew his career, which had been somewhat rocky after his last movie, which had been a big-budget flop. Lena stood, pleading with him not to leave. She laid her hand on his chest, and Jake covered it with his own. Their eyes met, and she wrapped his arm around her body. He leaned toward her, and she melted against him, parting her lips and breaching the distance between them with a slow, deliberate movement. They shared a long, sweet kiss, mouths fused together as tightly as their bodies.
For an instant, Alix thought Lena had finally broken through her fear. But then she pulled away, her eyes glittering with repressed emotion.
“I’m sorry.” Lena sank down on the sofa. “I’m sorry, but we have to stop.”
Ryker bounded up from his chair. He opened his mouth, fury visible in every line of his body. Alix grabbed his arm, hoping to forestall the flood of words she could see he longed to spew at the actress, who had crumpled onto the sofa.
“Lena?” she said. “What’s going on?”
Lena’s huge eyes, framed by thick, dark lashes, filled with tears. “I can’t do it,” she said, her voice husky. “I can’t do it.”
“Lena—”
Jake started to speak, but Alix cut him off with a raised hand. “Of course you can, Lena. I
t’s just ChapStick, right?”
Lena shook her head, thick black curls tumbling around her shoulders. “Nice try, but it’s not going to work.” She raised her head and looked at each of them in turn. “It’s too late for that. I’m sorry but you’ll have to figure something out without me. I’ve tried and I’ve tried, but I’m never going to make you happy, Ryker. You want something I just can’t give.” She took a deep, trembling breath. “I’ve made up my mind. I quit.”
#
“We’re screwed.” Ryker lifted a glass of whiskey to his lips and drank it down in one shot. He slouched in the leather Eames chair and stared at the enormous blank screen in Gunther’s viewing room.
Alix stared down at her own drink and winced at the fury in his voice. “She needs a break. I’ll talk to her tomorrow. She can’t quit.”
“You’ll talk to her?” Ryker set down his glass. “Forgive me, but she quit after the last time you talked to her. I’m not sure I want you anywhere near her.”
Alix sighed. “You may be right. Still, I think we can change her mind.”
“I’m not sure I want to change her mind. I already have most of my important footage.” Ryker rubbed his face. “I could film the rest with a double. Splice in her face, shoot from behind. It’s just the sex that’s left anyway.”
“Just the sex.” Alix shook her head. “That’s exactly your problem. It’s not just the sex. It’s the most important part of your film. You can’t shoot the most important part of your film with a body double.”
“That’s exactly my problem?” He raised an eyebrow. “Forgive me, Miss Director, but we’ve been working together for two weeks. I could have lots of other problems that you don’t know a thing about.”
Alix stood and began to pace the room. “Seriously, we need to figure out how to get Lena back on the job. And we need to decide what to tell Gunther.”
In an instant, his voice turned cold and hard. “We don’t need to tell him anything. This is my movie. I’ll talk to Gunther.”
