A flushed Ian moved into camera range with a red silk robe. He wrapped Sarah in it and faced the camera.
“Thank you, Sarah, for that moving testimonial. Obviously my program has made your dreams come true.”
“Not all of them, Ian baby.” Sarah dropped the robe again and threw herself on the diet guru. “Let’s celebrate.”
“Obviously, Sarah, my elixirs have given you a tremendous amount of energy.” Ian signaled frantically and two of his surfers pulled Sarah off him.
“Later, lover!” Sarah shouted as she was carried out of camera range.
Ian picked up the robe and tossed it aside, then cleared his throat as he buttoned his shirt.
“Sarah lost an incredible twenty-two pounds in just fourteen nights on my super-slimming weight-loss program.” Ian smiled into the camera. “Following my simple plan and drinking my specially formulated, all-natural supplements, you too can finally achieve the ideal size you’ve always wanted. Visit my Web site or call my weight-loss hotline for details.” The URL and eight-hundred number scrolled across the bottom of the screen before Ian turned off the TV.
“Wow.” I gripped Ray’s hand.
“Well, Glory, does this look like something you’d be interested in trying?”
Valdez and Ray stared at me, probably surprised I didn’t immediately shout, “Yes.” Which kind of pissed me off. What? Did I need to trim down so badly? Oh, who was I kidding? I’d done nothing but gripe about my weight since I’d met Valdez five years ago. And Ray knew how I felt too. Both men were way too smart to say a word, though. I took a breath and looked at Ian.
For a moment I wanted to bolt. Even if it meant shifting back into bat form, I wanted to get out of there. Smooth-talking, handsome-as-sin Ian MacDonald made me shiver. Why? I couldn’t put my finger on it. Maybe it was the vacant-eyed surfer dudes scattered around the deck outside. Or the lavishly decorated den that, despite a roaring fire in the stone fireplace, still chilled me to the bone. Then there was the man himself with his video and obvious indifference to poor Sarah’s humiliation when she’d exposed her cottage cheese thighs.
Of course I couldn’t forget that he was Jerry’s ancient enemy. I had paid attention to the “MacDonalds are demons from hell” stories I’d heard at Castle Campbell. But the Ian MacDonald waiting for my answer now was no kilt-wearing, broadsword-hacking demon. He had a Web site, cooked up magic formulas and had even managed to look cute when Sarah had embarrassed him with her gratitude.
I desperately wanted to be thin and had wanted that forever. That meant I was going to have to play Ian’s game, his way. Too bad he had that last name. I’d just have to keep my eyes open. Of course Valdez was already on the case. I glanced down. V was practically quivering with animosity. Oookay.
“What’s it going to cost me?” I flushed, not liking how that had come out. “I mean, obviously this elixir or whatever is a valuable commodity.”
Valdez snorted and Ray reached for my hand again.
“I told you, babe. Let this be on me. Whatever makes you happy, makes me happy.” Ray had the devoted fiancé act down pat.
“It’s wonderful to see such a committed couple. So rare in the vampire world.” Ian’s smile seemed sincere, but I heard something in his voice . . .
I shot Ray a warning look. I’d blocked my thoughts from the get-go and assumed Ray had done the same. As far as Ian knew, Ray and I were a devoted couple. And my insistence on paying seemed silly under the circumstances. I decided I could settle this with my “fiancé” later.
“Well, if you insist, love.” I leaned against Ray and smiled at Ian. “Ray’s very generous. While the video was impressive, I really don’t want to waste his money. So tell me more. Exactly what’s involved here, Ian?”
“Ah, you’re a practical woman. Admirable.” Ian snapped his fingers and a slim woman in black running shorts and matching sports bra scurried into the room. She carried a tray loaded with bottles. It didn’t take more than a few seconds for me to pick up on the fact that the lady was mortal. The bottles rattled as she set the tray on the wooden coffee table in front of us. Then she stepped back, watching Ian closely, her hands clasped behind her.
“This is Trina.” Ian smiled at her and she visibly relaxed. “Tell me, dear one, did you do your fifteen-mile run as I instructed?”
“Yes, Master.” She smiled and pushed her dark hair behind one ear. “I made it twenty, to please you.”
“Excellent.” Ian reached out his hand and she hurried to take it. “And when was this?”
“I finished less than thirty minutes ago, then showered and dried my hair.” She pulled his hand to her stomach. “Have I pleased you, Master?”
“Yes. Now this female vampire will drink from you. Make it a pleasant experience for her. Do whatever she wishes.” Ian brushed his thumb across Trina’s bare stomach when her mouth tightened and it looked like she might protest. “This will please me very much.” He ran his thumb up to her breast. “And later tonight I’ll please you.”
For a moment I thought I saw rebellion in Trina’s dark eyes, but she merely nodded.
“Of course, Master. Whatever you wish.” She turned to me. “You want to drink from me here? Or do you wish to be private?”
“Wait just a minute.” I glanced at Ray. He was fighting a grin, like he could get into watching a little girl-on-girl action. I pinched his hard thigh. “First, I’m not into drinking from mortals, thank you very much. And she brought in bottles. I figured those contained your magic potion.”
“Some of those bottles are supplements. I’ll explain them later. They’re clearly labeled. Others are refreshments for Mr. Caine to enjoy while he waits for us.” Ian smiled. “My program has several key components, Glory. One effective treatment is to drink from a mortal who has just exercised vigorously.” Ian ran his hand down Trina’s nonexistent hip.
“So I can’t just drink something from a bottle?” I wasn’t sure I liked this, but, in a strange way, it made sense. Something to do with a revved-up metabolism, I guess.
“No, you must drink from the source and soon after that source”—he smiled as he stroked Trina’s taut thigh—“has completed the exercise for the best effect.” Ian stood and gestured for me to do the same. “Now, Glory, I’m going to weigh and measure you. After that, you’ll drink from Trina. When you come back here tomorrow night, I’m willing to bet you’ll be down at least two pounds. How does that sound?”
“Oh, come on, Ian. I thought you said this program was revolutionary. Any vampire knows you can drink from a mortal for special effects.” I turned to Ray. “Remember, Ray? You can get high from a mortal who’s just done drugs or is drunk. It’s the same with a runner. The healing sleep wipes out any ‘effects.’ Always has.” I stood and pulled Ray up with me, so disappointed I wanted to bawl like a baby. “I knew this was too good to be true. Let’s go.”
“Glory, wait. Hear me out.” Ian was on his feet. He gestured at the bottles between us. “See those? They are the difference. My special formulas make it possible for the weight loss to stay off. Even after you sleep. I’ve spent decades in the lab perfecting these.” He waved a hand toward the dark TV screen. “You saw Sarah. That kind of loss didn’t happen overnight.”
I slowly sat again. “No, I guess it couldn’t have.” I picked up one of the bottles. “What are you, some kind of scientist?”
“I’ve been many things in my over five hundred years. Even a medical doctor.” Ian held out his hand. “Are you going to trust me on this?”
“Don’t do it, Glory. This whole operation reeks. You’d be nuts to trust a MacDonald. When Blade hears about this—”
“Valdez, hush. Blade’s old news. I’m with Ray now.” I pretended not to notice Ian’s intent gaze. “Give me a minute to wrap my brain around all this.”
Ray put his arm around me. “Take your time, babe.”
“Blade?” Ian sat across from us again.
“Jeremy Blade, Glory’s former boyfriend. Valdez f
orgets who’s buying his rib eyes these days.” Ray gave V a warning look.
I hoped Ian bought that story. I tuned them out while I tried to think. Down two pounds in one night? Was it possible? But wait. Now he wanted to weigh me? No one, I mean no one, knew my weight. And he’d write it down where anyone could come across it. Those snoopy bastards from the tabloids, for example. I’d be like every other famous person with a weight issue, my number a headline on the front cover along with a picture of me with a really gross butt shot. Oh, God, could this possibly be worth it?
I wanted to fly the hell out of there. This was even worse than the measuring. But to actually lose two pounds after a day of healing sleep . . .
Valdez moved closer and bumped my knee. “Seriously, Glo. Let’s get the hell out of here. I’m getting bad vibes. Blade—”
“He’ll hate it, but won’t be able to stop me. Don’t mention him again.” I grabbed Valdez’s collar when he looked like he wanted to start something, like maybe “accidentally” knock over that tray of bottles. Of course if he really lunged at anything, I had zero chance of stopping him. I’m vamp strong, but he’s in a category all by himself strengthwise.
And then there was Trina, who was checking out Ray and obviously wishing he was the one with the weight issue. Yeah, right. My “fiancé” had a single-digit percentage of body fat.
“Well, Glory, are you going to do this program or not? It’s your call.” Ray pulled out his wallet and extracted a black credit card that could have paid for a villa in the south of France and still not hit a limit. Ian played it cool, but I’m sure he wanted to snatch it and run up a big tab before Ray could put it out of sight again.
I sighed and stood. My jeans were cutting into my midsection despite the blessing of a little spandex. I pulled down my T-shirt but could still feel the muffin top bulging above the waistband. I walked over to Trina and sniffed. B positive, a nice healthy one too. And she was fresh from a shower that had involved a hint of lavender. Ian and Ray were both on their feet, watching me.
“Okay, but Ray, baby, you stay here. Valdez, you come with me for the weigh-in, but, I swear to God, if you look at my weight, I’ll post a picture on the Internet of a Chihuahua having a bad hair day and claim it’s your true form.”
“Tough talk, Glory, but I’ll do what I have to if this a-hole threatens your safety.” Valdez stayed between Ian and me. “Hear this, MacDonald. If any harm comes to Glory, you’ll have every Campbell in Scotland on you like fleas on my ass.”
“I’m not afraid of the Campbells, but find that threat interesting. A sire isn’t usually so involved with a vampire he’s made and released, so to speak.” Ian faced me. “Who do you belong to, Glory? Caine here? Or a Campbell?”
I felt my fangs fully extend and my face grow hot. “I don’t belong to anyone, Ian. A Campbell made me, but we parted ways long ago.” I snarled at Valdez. “The shifter oversteps and will hear about this later.” I looked back at Ray and managed a smile. “My love life is my concern. Since Ray is willing to pay . . .”
“Say no more.” Ian nodded and took Ray’s credit card. “I admire independent women. Clearly you’re one of them.”
I stared at the MacDonald vampire. “I’m independent but not stupid and I do have powerful friends. So does Ray. This had better be on the up-and-up. And I will let the shifter do his thing if this ‘treatment’ is just a con.”
Ray and Valdez were involved in a stare-down. “The shifter may not live that long. You keep popping off like that, fur face, and I’ll see you replaced.”
“Yeah?” Valdez glanced at me. “That’s not your call, Caine. Glory, care to straighten him out?”
“Shut up, V. Right now you’re hanging on by a thread.” I wanted to get on with this. “Ian? Are we clear? This thing totally safe and on the up-and-up?”
“You saw the tape, Glory. And I could show you dozens more of my success stories if it would make you feel better. Even introduce you to some of the vampires. But it would delay things. Maybe a week or more to get them here. If you wish to wait . . .” Ian smiled and toyed with the credit card, acting like he could care less if we proceeded or not.
A week. The Grammys would be over and I’d be on my way back to Texas. I really, really wanted to look good on the red carpet. The event would be televised. Millions would be watching, including Jerry’s mum, who hates me and would be hoping I’d fall flat on my face. She cheered when Ray and I announced our fake engagement. Is still hoping I’ll marry Ray and leave her precious son alone.
How cool to lose enough weight to freak out those designers on that reality show. They’d come for the fittings and their dresses would positively bag on me. They’d argue about who’d measured wrong. It would make for great TV and I’d just stand there, looking skinny and perfectly innocent in my new size-six body. Would that be mean of me? Maybe I was tired of being good old Glory.
“I don’t want to wait. Let’s do this.” I looked at Ray and he winked.
“Fine. Follow me.” Ian gestured at the coffee table. “There are several excellent bottles of mortal juice there, Mr. Caine, if you wish to indulge. As I said, they’re clearly labeled for your enjoyment. I’ll be back shortly. Glory and Trina will join us when they’re done. This way, please, Glory.”
I trailed Ian, my stomach doing a dip and roll that made me wonder if I could drink from Trina and keep it down. Valdez sulked by my side. We stepped into an office painted pale gray with a wall of windows overlooking the ocean. A chrome and glass desk held a computer and a setup that Ian made use of as he punched in numbers. Running Ray’s card no doubt. His grin confirmed it. Well, that part was out of the way. I’d be sure we got a receipt. I just hoped I’d be able to pay the cost back before the turn of the next century.
Valdez stood, scowling, next to Trina, while Ian picked up a clipboard and led me to a doctor’s scale in one corner of the room.
“I’ll need your measurements too.”
Valdez snorted. “Four times in one night. That’s some kind of record, Glory. Guess you’ve experienced your own personal hell tonight.”
“Yeah.” I made a face at the tape in Ian’s hand. “Reality show. Designers are making dresses for me to wear on the red carpet. Tonight they taped the first segment.”
Ian kept smiling as he reached around me to measure my waist. “Won’t they be surprised when they bring back those dresses and they’re too big?”
I laughed, totally stoked by the whole idea. “That’s exactly what I thought. They’ll be back in four days for a fitting. Think that’s enough time for them to see a difference?”
“You stick strictly to my program, the fast track, and I guarantee it.” Ian reached around me to measure my breasts. His eyes gleamed as he sent me a mental message that made me blink.
Whoa. So Ian was a little tired of bony babes in running shorts. I filed that away. I figured I could be on the miracle cure of the ages and still have plenty upstairs. I glanced at Trina and then remembered Sarah in the video. I didn’t want to end up flat-chested. And running shoes sure aren’t my idea of a fashion statement.
“You can stop the program when you reach your ideal weight and size. You know what that is?” Ian led me to the scale.
I had forgotten to block my thoughts. So Mr. Nosy knew just what I’d been thinking. I glanced at Trina and Valdez. They both were very interested in what Ian and I were up to.
“Of course. I’ve had centuries to think about it. I want to fit into size-six jeans. I want to have the top to match, but still have nice cleavage.” I flushed. Maybe that was too much information. Ian’s gaze had gone hot and it swept over me.
“Step on the scale, Glory. Have you weighed before?”
I kicked off my shoes. “Yes, and I know my number. So I’ll know if this scale is accurate.” I stopped short. “Damn. Maybe I should take off my jeans. I bet they’re adding at least three pounds.”
Ian grinned. “Go for it.”
Valdez was beside me in a shot and
growled at Ian. “Over my dead body.”
I looked down at him. “That can be arranged.”
Ian laughed. “Why don’t we agree that I’ll subtract three from whatever shows up on the scale?”
I could see Valdez wasn’t budging. “Fine. Back to the door, V. I mean it.” I watched until he was safely beside Trina again. “I guess we can’t skip this part.” I was avoiding the moment of truth. I knew my weight was too much for my five-foot-five-inch height. I’d studied the charts, read the articles, wailed about my fate for way too long.
“Not a chance.” Ian smiled sympathetically. “Get it over with. It will only get better. When you see the number get smaller, you’ll feel fantastic.”
“Yeah, right. You promise no one else sees this? You did say you were a doctor with all that doctor-patient-confidentiality thing going on.”
“Yes, yes, of course.” Ian took my hand to help me step on the scale.
I whipped around. “Valdez, turn around. Face the door. I mean it. I don’t want you even looking in this direction. Ian isn’t going to hurt me. I’ll yell if I need you.”
“I don’t like this.” Valdez gave Ian one more growl and then did turn around, his tail going up to shoot a furry finger at the MacDonald.
“You too, Trina. This is none of your business.”
“Oh, for God’s sake.” Trina looked like she wanted to say more, but a hard look from her “master” got her skinny butt moving and she faced the door in short order.
“Okay, let’s do this.” I stepped on the scale, wincing as Ian slid the metal weights up until he was satisfied. “Wait!” I blew out air, like that might make a pound difference.
Ian laughed and wrote down the number I knew too well. “Relax, Glory. You’re overreacting. I’ve worked with vampires who had a lot more to lose than you have. By this time next week, you’ll be in a size six or I’ll give Caine his money back.”
Real Vampires Hate Their Thighs Page 7
