by Mary Smith
“This is the only way, isn’t it?”
“Oliver.” I leapt off the bed. “I’m warning you.”
“Warning me?” he scoffed. “We’re equals.”
“I don’t care; that’s my journal.” I clenched my teeth. Anger pulsed through me.
“I’m your Matched. You’re supposed to be talking to me.”
“No!” I yelled. “I don’t want to talk to you.”
“Well, you should, because I’m the only person, besides your family, standing by your side.” His voice was as loud as mine.
“My family couldn't care less about me.” I laughed. “And the only reason you’re here is because Xaviera asked you.”
“That’s not true,” he tied to correct me.
“Yes. It. Is.” I said each word louder than the next. “You know nothing.”
“Tell me.” Oliver stared me down. “Explain it to me so that I can understand.”
“Go back to your perfect family. Go back and tell your parents to find you another Matched.”
Oliver’s face turned red and his eyes narrowed.
“I don’t want another Matched; I want you.” His voice was low, and I could hear the hurt in it.
“No, you don’t,” I scrunched my face up in disgust. “I’m a worthless piece of shit that broke almost every rule that Mother Nature laid out for us. And let’s not forget that I’m on the verge of being banished.”
Oliver’s face instantly changed to shocked. “You think you’re worthless?” he said the words as if they were foul.
“Oh, please,” I rolled my eyes. “This can’t be a shock. Just get out,” I finally told him.
“No,” he stated firmly. “Tell me why you think that.”
“Get out.”
“No.”
“Get. Out.”
“No, tell me.”
We stared each other down, neither of us moving or blinking.
Oliver was the first to move. He tossed my journal on the bed and stepped closer to me.
“Let me tell you what I think.” Oliver’s face was serious. “I don’t think you’re worthless. You’re truly an amazing person. I can feel that you have a good, caring soul.”
I threw my head back and laughed.
“I guess I have you fooled.”
“Enough,” he shouted at me. “You know I’m right.”
“You’re not.” I gritted my teeth at him. Oliver thought he knew me so well, but he was wrong. Very wrong.
“You think you know me, but you don’t have a clue. Just leave me alone, Oliver.” The tears left my eyes before I even knew I was crying.
“Amaya.” His voice was hurt. “Please talk to me; I’m here for you.”
He took a step toward me, reaching for me, but I backed up against the wall.
“Don’t touch me.”
Oliver recoiled his hand.
“Just leave me be,” I sniffed.
He blinked a few times before finally leaving the room.
I slid down the wall as my tears came faster.
Chapter 15
Day 34 of 90
Oliver left the cabin late last night. I wasn’t even sure that he was coming back. I wouldn’t have been surprised if he stayed away from me.
I was stretched out on the couch when I heard the Escalade pull up. Maybe he’d brought enough supplies to last me until I was officially banished.
He pushed the door open, shaking the snow off his jacket.
“Glad you’re down here,” Oliver said.
I looked at him, unsure of what to say. His face was serious and he almost looked upset. I watched him step over the threshold. My heart jumped into my throat as I stood up.
“What did you do?” I didn’t even recognize my own voice.
Oliver dropped two large plastic totes on the floor and kicked the door shut.
“Looks like you’re paying attention now.”
“I asked you, what did you do?” I hissed.
“Stopped by your parent’s house and picked up a few things for you.”
I couldn’t move from my spot, as he popped the lids off the containers, and dumped out all of my compositions books.
My parents never went into my closet. I had hid the totes in the far back and piled shoe boxes around them. I didn’t know why I had kept them all, but I had.
“How did you find them?”
“Rebecca,”
“Did you read them?” my voice cracked, and the tears were building.
“No.”
“Well,” I swallowed the lump of emotions down. “You have proven to me that I can never trust you. They’re private and no one should even touch them.”
“But I’ll know the truth about you.” He narrowed his eyes at me. “I’ve seen you clutch that notebook like it’s your lifeline. Rebecca said you always have one in your purse, too, that you go nowhere without it.”
My mouth dropped open; I couldn’t believe my own sister had ratted me out to Oliver.
“Are you going to talk to me now?”
I squared my shoulders and stalked right up to him.
“If you want to be an ass, then I suggest that you go ahead, and read whatever the hell you want. Right now, I can’t stand to be around you because you went and retrieved my private things.”
“Really? How is that different from any other time? You never want to be around me,” he yelled at me.
We resumed our stare down; we didn’t blink. My heart was still pumping hard as the rage continued to race through me.
“Maybe, I should do some light reading.” He bent down and picked up one of the journals.
“No,” I screamed at the top of my lungs. It was so loud that Oliver actually flinched.
“Then talk to me,” he repeated his plea.
“Oliver.” The tears were building faster, and I couldn’t be in the same room with him. I spun on my heels and raced upstairs, slamming the bedroom door. I paced the entire room like a caged animal.
I couldn’t believe him.
I couldn’t believe that he had gone to my parent’s house like that and that Rebecca had helped him.
That last part probably hadn’t surprised me all that much because we had not been that close.
I flopped down onto the bed and curled myself into a ball. I knew that Oliver was downstairs, at the table, reading my deepest, darkest thoughts.
If I’d thought he was leaving before, I knew he definitely would now.
Chapter 16
Day 36 of 90
I have barely eaten since Oliver came back with my journals. I certainly haven’t spoken to him at all. I wasn’t planning to for a long time either.
I was curled up in the nook when Oliver walked in with a tray of food. I didn’t even acknowledge him as I stared at the setting sun.
“Amaya.” His voice was low and cautious. “Would you please eat something?”
I continued to gaze at the world outside the window. I heard him set the tray down before he walked over to me.
“Please,” he begged. “Talk to me. Yell at me. Scream at me. I can’t stand your silence anymore.” His voice was husky and, for a second, I thought he might have been crying.
“I brought the journals here as a threat,” he confessed. “I would have never read them. In fact,” he took a seat on the edge of the nook. “I didn’t open a single one.”
My heart leapt, knowing he was telling the truth.
“I want you to talk to me. I don’t know how many ways I can say it. You can trust me; I’m on your side.”
I closed my eyes because the emotion in his voice was too much.
“I know I shouldn’t be telling you this, but Rebecca misses you. She told me things haven’t been the same since you’ve been gone.”
I send a silent prayer to Mother Nature to watch over her. I hoped my parents weren’t hurting her too badly.
“I know there are others that miss you in Unit.”
My eyes popped open, thinking of Xaviera and Gia. I almost ached to have
my two best friends here.
“I feel like a failure.”
His words made my heart stop for a second.
“The Princess put her trust in me to help you, and in reality, you and I can barely have a conversation without one of us exploding at each other.”
My heart began to pound, so loud it hurt my ears.
“I want my Matched to know that I will protect her to the end of time. That I will save her from every fear that she has. That she can trust me with every hope, wish, and dream that she possesses, and that I’ll help her in any way to fulfil them all. I want my Matched to love me the way I love her.”
I almost missed the last part because his voice was so low. There was no way that Oliver could love me. I’d been nothing but cruel to him. Even though my parents thought that was love, I knew it wasn’t.
“I just,” he paused.” I just want you to confide in me. I trust you, and I want you to trust me.”
I shut my eyes again as if the pain in his voice actually stabbed my soul.
“I’ll let you be, but please eat. I don’t want you to become ill or anything like that.”
He stood up, and I could feel his gaze on me, but I remained quiet. When he finally left, I let the tears fall down my cheeks.
Chapter 17
Day 40 of 90
Four days.
I’ve done nothing but sit in my room. Oliver brought me food, but he has stopped talking to me. His words still run through my mind, but I haven’t been able to say one word to him.
I finally left the room and went down to the treadmill. I barely slept last night. The nightmares have been coming more frequently. They seem to be the same, a beating from Mom, Dad, or both. Hearing the same phrases over and over about how worthless I was, or how I would never be able to cut it as Xaviera’s Protector.
After five miles running, I was done. I’d cried more, while on the treadmill, and my head was killing me.
I didn’t see Oliver as I went back upstairs. I figured he was asleep, or maybe he was gone again. I jumped into the shower, and washed away the sweat, exhaustion, and dried tears.
I felt somewhat refreshed as I slipped on my jeans and sweatshirt. My stomach rumbled, and I knew that I needed some food in me.
I jogged down the stairs and stopped when I hit the bottom step. Oliver was working on his computers. Clicking and typing away. He glanced over his shoulder, but didn’t really acknowledge that I was in the room.
I deserved that.
I noticed all my journals were neatly stacked at the end of the rectangular dinner room table. Oliver said that he hadn’t read them, but I wasn’t sure.
No, if he said he didn’t, then he was telling the truth. There was no need for me to doubt him.
I stared at the back of Oliver’s dark brown hair. Actually, deep down, I was a little relieved that he was still here.
Relieved?
I didn’t know what to make of that new emotion. Then again, what difference would it make? Oliver and I have been fighting, not talking. That was how the time had gone for us.
The journals on the table were staring at me. All those memories, mostly bad, but some good with the girls, were sitting there.
“Oliver.” My voice cracked because I’d not spoken in days; the only thing I had done was cry.
He looked over at me, not saying anything.
Now what did I say?
Sorry?
I was a bitch?
Forgive me?
None of it seemed right.
Of all the questions that I had asked myself these past several days, the one that lurked the most was why. Why had he gone and gotten my journals?
“What, Amaya?” His voice was stern.
I jumped slightly as he pulled me away from my thoughts. I asked the first thing that popped into my head.
“Um, do you think you could call Xaviera and see if I’m allowed to go outside for a bit?”
Oliver blinked at me a couple times as if he hadn’t understood my question.
“Sure.” He stood and went upstairs. I assumed his phone was in his bedroom, or he wanted privacy when he called.
After several, long minutes he came back down and told me to grab my coat.
“Well, I should change.”
He shook his head. “We’re going to town. We need groceries.”
“Into town?”
“Yes.” He slid on his coat and handed me mine.
I did my best to restrain myself from jumping up and down with glee as I pulled the coat around me.
It was absolutely freezing outside, but I welcomed it. I took a deep breath, letting the coldness frost my lungs.
We hopped into the Escalade and drove down the driveway. The giddiness was bubbling over inside of me.
“Who cleaned the driveway?” I noticed there wasn’t a drop of snow on it.
“I did.”
“Oh.” I couldn’t remember seeing or hearing him doing that. “So, where are we going?”
“Well, we need more supplies; there’s going to be a big storm, and I need to run a few errands.”
“How long do we have?”
Oliver shrugged. “We could be rebellious and stay out all night?”
I giggled at him. “Do you even have a rebellious bone in your body?”
“Maybe it’s lying dormant?” he scrunched his brow, giving it serious thought.
I burst into laughter at his comment. There was no way Oliver had a ‘bad boy’ side.
“It could be true,” he mumbled.
I patted his hand. “No, but it would be interesting to see.”
Oliver smirked at me as he continued to drive into town. I watched the bare trees and the white snow that covered them like blankets whiz by.
The silence in the vehicles was relaxed and comfortable. I welcomed the sun on my face, even if it was through the car window.
“I’m hungry. Want to eat first?”
I nodded.
Oliver turned left as we reached the town limits. It was a small community. The houses looked older but well kept. It looked almost like Unit, tight knit and friendly. I wondered when I was banished, if I could come back here. Could I become a Canadian citizen?
Oliver pulled into a small restaurant on the far end of a shopping plaza.
“This is my favorite place to eat,” he explained, holding the door open for me as we walked in.
The smell of fresh baked bread and grease overtook my senses. My stomach grumbled and my mouth watered.
I followed Oliver over to a small, two-chair table. He held the chair for me and helped me out of my coat.
As Oliver took his seat, a very bouncy, blonde bounded over to us. She turned her back to me, only facing him.
“Hi, Oliver,” she said in a high-pitched voice. “How are you?”
“I’m good, Natalie. And you?”
“I’m better, now.” She tucked her hair behind her ear, biting her lip.
My mouth dropped. She was flirting with him right in front of me.
“Do you want your usual?”
Before Oliver could answer, I curtly told her, “No, we need a minute.”
The girl looked at me and did a quick once over before scowling at me. She turned back to Oliver.
“Would you like anything to drink?”
“We’ll take two glasses of water,” I answered again.
“Be right back,” she said, still looking at him.
Oliver put his elbow on the table, covering his mouth, hiding a big smile behind it.
“If I didn’t know better, I’d almost think you’re jealous.” He was able to compose himself.
My blood was boiling with rage. I was jealous. Oliver was mine.
I silently gasped.
What was I doing?
I stared at his green eyes as he looked back at me.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I lied, glancing down at the menu in front of me.
“Liar,” he mumbled playfully.
> Natalie brought our drinks back. “Are you ready now?”
I could hear the sneer in her voice as she looked at me.
“No,” I semi growled at her.
I saw her roll her eyes before turning to Oliver.
“I’ll be back in a minute.” She touched his arm, and I saw him flinch.
My mouth was a tight line of anger. She should have known better than to touch my Matched. I know we aren’t in Unit and outsiders do not know our rules, but people shouldn’t go around touching other people. Especially, when they could clearly see they were here with someone else.
“If she does that again, I’m going to punch her in the nose.” I tried to keep my voice calm, but it wasn’t working very well.
“She’s just friendly.”
“I mean it.”
“Stop.” His tone is serious.
“I mean it,” I repeated.
Oliver sighed deeply as the flirty girl returned. It would take me about two seconds to kill her if she did anything again.
“Ready?”
“I’ll have the usual.” Oliver handed the menu back to her.
“And you?” she narrowed her eyes at me.
“I’ll have a cheeseburger and fries.”
“So, you’ll have the same thing as Oliver?” she seemed confused.
“Yes.” I tried to act like it wasn’t a big deal, but I didn’t know what he was going to order.
“Okay.” Her lips curled in disgust at me. As she turned, I was about to leap at her, but Oliver grabbed my hand.
“Easy.”
“She’s so lucky,” I hissed.
“I won’t lie; it’s nice seeing this side of you. I didn’t think you were capable of caring about me or being jealous.
A ping of hurt hit my heart. Oliver had to think I was the worst person imaginable. The sad thing was he was probably right.
“Have you given any thought about the end of our decision period?”
“When I’m banished?”
Oliver rolled his eyes. “If,” he corrected me. “Have you thought about it?” he repeated.
“No.” I shook my head.
“Why not?”
“Have you?” I avoided his question.
“Yes,” he told me honestly.
“And?”
“And I thought we could have our ceremony at the city hall ballroom. Maybe something fancy?”
