by Mary Smith
“You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do.” I caressed his face.
He shook his head. “It’s not that; I’m afraid that I’ll suck at this. I mean,” his face turned bright red.
“You won’t. I can promise you that.” I touched his lips with mine.
“Amaya, you know I’ve never… I’m not sure what I should be doing right now.” His voice was so low I could barely hear him.
“Hey, there isn’t an instruction manual. All you have to do is what feels right—or nothing at all. I’m enjoying my time with you. Right now. We don’t have to do anything.”
“I know this sound like a cliché, but I really don’t want to rush this.”
“Oliver.” I held his face. “I don’t want to either.”
He nodded and rolled off me and pulled me to him, my head on his chest.
I listened to his rapidly beating heart, and the comforting sound pulled me into a deep, peaceful sleep.
Chapter 27
Day 60 of 90
My eyes slowly opened and adjusted to the bright sun shining in the room. I felt hot, and I realized that Oliver had me wrapped in his arms. His face was buried in my hair. My cheeks hurt from the large smile that spread across my face.
He’d stayed in my bed the whole night.
On top of that, I’d slept the whole night through. I hadn’t had any nightmares. I was feeling refreshed.
“Good morning,” he whispered.
“How did you know I was awake?”
He didn’t answer, he only chuckled.
“Will you do me a favor?”
“Yes.”
“It’s embarrassing to ask, but could you not turn around for a moment?”
I furrowed my eyebrows, not sure what he was asking me. I nodded.
He released me, rolled off the bed, and headed into the bathroom. I looked over to see where Oliver laid all night long next to me. I bit down on my lip, trying to hold back my beaming smile.
I knew that I should get out of the bed. I looked down at my wrinkled and frumpy clothes. I hadn’t changed into my pajamas last night. I sat up and leaned against the headboard. I don’t think I’ve ever been this happy. Actually, I knew that I had never been.
After several minutes, Oliver broke me from my happiness daydream, when he walked out of the bathroom, and sat down on the bed, next to me.
“Sorry.” His cheeks were red.
“Are you okay?”
“Yes.”
“Want to tell me why I couldn’t look at you this morning?”
“Um.” He pushed his hand through his hair and turned his head from me.
“What is it?”
“It’s just, sometimes, in the morning,” he was stumbling on his words.
“Oh,” I grinned. “You had morning wood.” I had read about a lot in magazines and heard about it on TV.
“Amaya,” he growled, closing his eyes, looking up at the ceiling.
“What?”
He continued to shake his head and his cheeks reddened more, but he remained quiet. I could tell that he was very uncomfortable.
“I think I’m going to shower and get into some clean clothes. Want to have breakfast afterward?”
Oliver nodded and headed out of the room. I remained on the bed for another moment, thinking about last night.
I could still feel his arms around me. His lips on mine. His touch on my skin. It was all burned into my memory and it would be something I would hold onto forever.
After getting ready, I headed downstairs and the smell of breakfast slammed into me. It made my stomach growl. I hadn’t realized that I was that hungry.
“Biscuits and gravy okay?”
“Most definitely.” I sat down at the table as Oliver put a plate in front of me. “Wow, this looks so good.” I didn’t even wait for him and began to shovel the food into my mouth.
“Hungry?” he chuckled.
I moaned my answer without pausing. Oliver didn’t take his eyes off me.
“What? Why are you staring at me?” I questioned with my mouth full.
Oliver gave me a full smile and shook his head.
Breakfast was quiet, peaceful, and nowhere as near as uncomfortable as I thought it might have been. It was the first time we had slept together, even if it was without sex.
Did I want to have sex with Oliver?
I mentally slapped myself.
Idiot.
Of course, I wanted to. He was hot, kind, sweet, and my Matched. What more could I ask for in a guy?
“Amaya,” Oliver cleared his throat and pushed his empty plate away from him. “I never thought I would bring this up, but I’m curious.”
I tilted my head. “Curious?”
“You don’t have to answer, but,” he ran his hands through his shaggy hair.
“Oliver, what is it?” He was worrying me.
“I was wondering about Thaddeus.”
“Thaddeus?”
He looked at me. “I was wondering about the relationship you had with him.”
“Oh,” I laid my fork down. I’d suddenly lost my appetite.
“He never really gave any details, and I want to know, because,” he paused. It was as if the wheels were in overdrive as his thoughts tumbled around his head.
“What do you want to know?” I had already told him all about my parents and my home life. It had been just a matter of time before this subject reared its ugly head.
“How did it start?” he gazed up at me.
“You know the program that lets high school seniors take college classes in the city? Well, apparently, I was smart and, after the King gave permission for me to leave Xaviera unattended for a few hours, I got involved in the program. I would go to my day classes and then go into the city. When the class was over, I would go for a run at the park. One afternoon I saw him, and he stopped and said hello. I didn’t think anything of it. Then the next day it was the same thing, and it went on for about a week.”
“I know that, but I’m wondering,” he let out a deep sigh, trying to find the right words.
“Oliver, just ask me what you want to know.” I was getting frustrated because I didn’t know what he wanted.
“Did you kiss him first?”
There, it was out. The question that everyone, I was sure, wanted to know the answer to.
“I’m not sure how it happened. We ended up running the same trail together one day. It was on the backside of the park, and a lot of people didn’t travel that route. I tripped over a branch.” I shook my head at my clumsiness. “Thaddeus was being kind and helped me up. It was the first time any guy had ever been that close to me or that kind to me.”
I studied Oliver’s face.
“I don’t know who moved first, but we kissed. I have no fathomable reason why we did it, but it happened.”
“What did you think?” Oliver’s question was almost inaudible.
“Well, my first thought was that it was really wet,” I joked. Oliver didn’t smile.
“I’m not trying to pry into the details, I promise I’m not. But you didn’t have sex, right?”
I shook my head. “We never had sex.”
“But you did more than kissing?”
“Yes.” My mouth went dry. For the first time, I was nervous talking to him about this.
“Did you ever get naked in front of him?” He was serious.
“Um,” I shifted in my seat. I wasn’t going to lie to Oliver. Not about this. It was too important for him. “Yes, he has seen me naked.”
All the air left the room and Oliver paled.
“I didn’t think you had sex.”
I gathered all my courage to tell him. “I told you that we didn’t have sex, but one of the last times we were together, we were going to.”
Oliver’s eye widened.
“We stopped,” I rushed out before he panicked. “But like I said before, we did a lot together, and he did see me naked.”
He remained quiet and the
n suddenly got up from the table and cleared the dishes.
“Oliver, you asked,” I reminded him.
“I know.” He was gripping the sides of the sink as if his life depended on it. “I know I did.”
I walked up behind him, standing close to him, but not touching him. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I’ve caused so much pain. At the time, I had it all planned out to leave Unit. I wasn’t going to stay and deal with my parents anymore.”
“Why did you stay?”
“Xaviera, Gia, Rebecca, and thought that Thaddeus was my Matched.”
“Did you love him?”
I gasped. I shouldn’t have been shocked that he asked that question. I should have been more surprised that he didn’t ask that right after the ‘sex’ question.
“Amaya,” he turned and faced me. “Did you?”
“I thought I did.” My voice cracked. “I thought that he loved me, too. I thought he was going to be my Matched. I knew it was wrong, but at the time, I wasn’t thinking about being caught, or punishments. I just wanted,” I stopped. I couldn’t say the words to him.
“You just wanted him,” he finished my sentence for me.
“At that time.” I looked deep into his green eyes. “At that time,” I repeated.
My heart began to pound as I grasped what I had said and meant. I didn’t love Thaddeus. Had I even cared for him? I wasn’t sure that I had. I wished that I could tell him how much he had meant to me over the past two months. Yes, he had been away for some of it, but every day he was there, he was there for me. Even when he was gone, I knew he cared for me. I had thought that he was being punished, too, but Xaviera had known what she was doing.
She knew that I would fall in love with him.
And I had.
I knew when he was making out with me last night. I knew it when he kissed me. I knew when I woke up with him this morning with his arms were around me.
I loved him.
Now, could I tell him?
“Have there been others?”
“Yes,” I breathed out my answer.
“Who?” Oliver’s voice is laced with shock.
“Chris Pine, Chris Hemsworth, Ryan Gosling, and for a little maturity in the mix, Brad Pitt.” I teased him.
I saw Oliver’s lips twitch at my joke. It gave me a moment to regain my thoughts.
Do I tell him?
“As much as your sense of humor makes me laugh, I know that you’re lying.” He cupped my face. The pads of his thumbs rubbed my cheeks.
“Are you sure?” I whispered.
“I’m a Controller, and I’m powerful. I can tell when people are lying.” He gently kissed me. “So, tell me the truth.”
He laid his forehead against mine and tried to control his breathing.
“You know the answer.”
“Tell me; I want to hear it,” he begged me.
I didn’t say it. Instead, I kissed him. I pushed my tongue deep into his mouth, and he moaned. I slid my fingers through his belt loops and pulled him flush with my body. Oliver continued to hold my face. Mother Nature could have ended the world at that very moment and I would have died a happy woman because I was in the arms of the man I loved.
I moved my hands from his hips and tugged his shirt up and over his head. I wanted to do this so badly last night, but never did. I lightly dragged my nails down the front of his chest. Even though he didn’t have the deep divide in his abs, he was still hard and strong. He could have easily been a Protector.
Oliver’s bravery took over, or maybe it was the pent up sexual tension from last night, but he removed his hands from my face and began to work the buttons on my shirt. His fingers lightly brushed my skin, setting me on fire.
“Do you really want to do this in the kitchen?”
“At this moment,” Oliver’s chest heaved. “I couldn't care less where we are.”
I laughed against his mouth. I grabbed the front of his jeans, staring into his eyes, waiting for the go ahead. His mouth twisted into a small smile. I undid the button, but stopped when his cell phone began to ring. Oliver’s face went from happy to worry in a split second.
“What is it?” I asked as we both released each other. I watched as he dug into his pocket to retrieve his phone.
“Yes, Princess,” he said professionally.
I could hear Xaviera’s frantic voice, but couldn’t make out the words.
“I’ll leave now.” He disconnected the call.
I smiled. At least, I did the best I could. “Go. Go. I know that she needs you,” I nodded at him.
“I don’t want to leave you. It gets harder and harder each time I leave.”
“Hey,” I kissed him. “Unit first, then Matched, you know the Rules.” I winked at him.
“Will you do me another favor?”
I nodded.
“When I come back, please say the words.” He pecked my lips one more time. He picked up his shirt from the floor and headed up the stairs to pack before leaving for Unit.
Chapter 28
Day 70 of 90
Ten days.
Oliver had been gone ten days.
For all I knew, he was dead on the side of the road. I couldn’t call anyone. I couldn’t go anywhere. I couldn’t do anything.
I had barely slept a wink in almost five days. I was exhausted. I’ve hardly eaten. I’ve paced the floor more than anything else, and I was sure I’d left an impression on the hardwood floors.
The past three nights, I remained on the couch. I wanted to be as close to the door as I could be in case he came back. I left the TV on to have noise around me, but I never paid attention to it.
I tried to eat a piece of toast in the afternoon, but I mainly stared at it. My stomach was still in knots, and I was on the verge of walking back to Unit to find out what was going on. I was on the brink of banishment anyway, what difference would it make?
I pushed the plate away. It was pointless to try to eat anything right now. I got up and went back to my bedroom. I was going to change and go workout. For a few moments, it would take my mind off Oliver not being around.
Once I slipped into my yoga pants and hoodie, I heard the front door close. I sprinted down the stairs, and I saw Oliver shrugging off his jacket. I couldn’t control my breathing or the fact that I leapt into his arms.
“Amaya, I can’t breathe,” Oliver choked out.
“Sorry,” I released a little bit. “I knew I was stronger than you.” My voice cracked because I was so overwhelmed to see him.
He chuckled into my neck.
“You were gone for such a long time.” I inhaled his scent. He smelled like the cold.
“I know.” He tightened his arms around me. “I didn’t know I was going to be gone that long.”
I had a thousand and one questions rushing through my head, but right now, I didn’t want to ask anything. I wanted to hold him.
“If I didn’t know better, I would think that you missed me.”
I nodded because I was unable to talk.
We held each other in that position for a few more moments before Oliver finally set my feet on the ground.
“I missed you, too. I really am sorry that I was gone for so long.”
“Don’t let it happen again.” I growled, wiping the tears away from my cheeks. I didn’t even know that I was crying.
“I promise. I’m all yours for the next twenty days.” He pushed the hair that had fallen on my forehead back.
“What?”
“Yep, the King said that I’m not going to be needed until your punishment is over.”
“Really?”
He nodded and had a large smile on his face.
“Great. Now tell me why you were gone for so long.” I crossed my arms.
“Amaya,” he shook his head.
“Don’t. You. Dare. I mean it, Oliver. I want to know. You were gone for ten days. Ten. I have been on edge the entire time, so I know that something serious is going on in Unit and I want to know. Now.” I je
rked on his arm to sit on the couch.
“Okay, how about I give you the abridged version?”
“We have twenty days left. I’m sure that I can handle the full detailed version.”
“I can’t tell you all that. However, I can tell you that everything in Unit is fine now.”
“Now? So what was it like before?”
Oliver bounced his head from side-to-side. He was thinking of what to say. “It was a little hectic, and there were some changes that needed to be made.”
“Changes? What kind? Is Xaviera okay? Is the baby?” the questions were spewing from me and I couldn’t stop them.
“She and the baby are well. Other positions changed,” he clammed up.
“Oliver, I swear to Mother Nature, if you don’t tell me soon, I’m going to scream.”
He smirked at me. “How about a compromise?”
I stared at him.
“How about you and I enjoy the next twenty days together and the when we get back to Unit you will learn all the ins and outs of what has been going on?”
“In other words, you’re not going to tell me, are you?”
He shook his head.
“I knew it.” I huffed and fell back against the couch. One worry wouldn’t leave my mind. “Is Rebecca still okay?”
Oliver kissed my temple. “I actually had a long talk with her.”
“You did?”
“Yep, and she’s doing great. She really is, I promise. Rebecca told me how much she misses you and loves you. I know that you say that you two aren’t close, but I think she really looks up to her big sister.”
I shrugged. He might be right. I remembered all those times I had defended her from our parents. All the times I would scream to keep Dad from going into her room. All the times I held her and helped cover her bruises when she had them.
“You hate it when I’m right, don’t you?” he playfully whispered in my ear.
“I missed you.” I changed the subject.
“I know, and I’m still waiting to hear it from you. Don’t think I’ve forgotten.”
I curled closer up to him. I didn’t say it. Like everything else, if you say it out loud you could never take it back, and it will forever be hanging around.
“There’s nothing wrong with you saying it first.”
After several moments of us holding each other and not saying anything, Oliver said that he was hungry, and he needed to do some laundry.
