by Liz Durano
“Just stop, Rachel. This isn’t the place to discuss this,” I say, my jaw clenching. “But I will answer one question. No, I did not meet her while we were together.”
“Alright, that’s it,” Dad says, raising his hands. “Let’s not talk about this at the table, okay? This is a homecoming for Jordan after he’s been gone for a year, and for Caitlin who’s here because of her brother and who also hasn’t been home for a year. So let’s all just enjoy dinner, okay?”
Everyone is quiet for a few moments until Campbell breaks the silence. He’s still unperturbed, too busy enjoying Mom’s apricot-glazed corned beef to get caught in the ensuing drama.
“So tell us about your trip, man. But before you start, could you hand me the cheesecake? It’s been calling my name for the last ten minutes and I want to get a slice before Cait eats it all,” he says, wincing as Caitlin whacks him on the shoulder and Mom reminds her to act like a lady.
I wait until Rachel and Campbell leave for the evening and Caitlin goes upstairs in her room before catching Mom and Dad in the kitchen. Mom and Dad are second-generation Irish Americans. Both sets of grandparents, except for my paternal great-grandfather who literally jumped ship as it entered the New York harbor because he had no sponsor waiting for him, passed through Ellis Island. It’s a story the O’Halloran extended family love to relay during annual gatherings, of their grit and resilience during tough times. It’s also a stubbornness that’s multiplied by my mother’s side, the Flannery’s. It makes for interesting family gatherings that have made meeting Addison’s mother easy. She seems as highly excitable as my mother can be although tonight, she’s unusually quiet.
“So is Rachel telling the truth about this woman, Addison?” She asks as I sit down across from them at the table now cleared of dishes except for cups of tea that Dad prepared. “She says the baby is yours.”
I frown. I haven’t even received the results yet. Does that mean she already knows? “How can she say that? I haven’t received the results yet.”
“She says the baby looks just like you,” Dad says.
“So is it true? Is the baby yours?” Mom asks. “Rachel says she saw you at the office where she works. Don’t they do DNA tests and all that?”
“Mom, you know she’s not allowed to disclose that,” I say, suddenly angry. “It’s called patient privacy. We signed forms that say just that.”Does that mean Rachel looked up Addison’s information, too?
“So is the baby yours then?” Mom asks. “That’s all I want to know, Jory. Do I have a grandchild? My first grandchild?”
I exhale, forcing myself to relax. Wasn’t that what I told Addison, that as soon as I’d get confirmation, I needed to let my family know? I don’t keep things from them and I don’t intend to start now. I take my phone from my pocket and pull up the photos Addison sent me before sliding the phone across the table toward Mom. Her eyes widen when she sees Piper, picking up the phone to study the pictures closely.
“Her name is Piper and she’s ten weeks old,” I begin. “Her mother is Addison Rowe, a nephrologist in Manhattan. Her parents live out here and I met her at Polly’s two days before I flew out last year.”
Mom looks thoughtful for a few moments. “Rowe?” She looks at Dad. “Doesn’t Amelia have a daughter who’s a doctor?”
“You know them?”
Dad shrugs. “There’s a couple who goes to church… Harrison and Amelia Rowe. His wife’s Filipino, I think.”
“That’s them. I just met them tonight. They arrived just as I was leaving.”
Mom and Dad’s heads are pressed together, Dad putting on his reading glasses so he can take a closer look. “Wow, she looks just like you and Cait when you were babies,” Mom says. “The baby doesn’t look Filipino at all.”
“She’s my carbon copy… only prettier,” I say, shrugging. While Addison inherited her father’s skin color, she has her mother’s large doe-shaped eyes.
“Look, she even has Jory’s eyes,” Dad says. “They’re green, aren’t they?”
“Yeah, they are,” I reply, feeling a sense of pride fill me. It’s weird but it’s how I felt when I held Piper in my arms while we were at the High Line.
“So, do you know them? The Rowes?” I ask.
“I’m the church secretary, Jory. I may not know everyone in the parish but if they need to book the church hall, I have to know their names and make sure they’re members. But do I know them? Not exactly, although they come to me whenever they rent the hall or make an announcement in the church paper,” Mom says before her eyes narrow. “Wait, her mother paid to have wedding banns published last year… for her daughter. Is she married? Is that why you haven’t said anything?”
“No, she’s not married. And I don’t know anything about wedding banns,” I mutter. “I don’t even know what they are.”
“It’s an announcement that you and your lady are getting married,” Dad replies. “It’s not done as much anymore but St. Anthony’s still does.”
“Anyway, I didn’t say anything because we wanted to wait for the results,” I reply.
“How come you never mentioned her at all this past year? Or when you got back?” Mom asks.
“Because I didn’t know until a few days ago that she had my baby. I met her last year just before I left the country,” I reply. “She’d texted me while I was away and so I looked her up and we met and she introduced me to my daughter right away. I have no doubts she’s mine but I wanted to wait for the results to make it official. I just didn’t expect Rachel to make the announcement before I could.”
Mom sighs. “I don’t know how you feel about this Addison woman, but you know that Rachel still likes you. She hasn’t gotten over you, I suspect, or she wouldn’t have dropped by tonight.”
“Wasn’t she seeing that guy from Campbell’s job?” Dad asks.
“They only dated three months,” Mom replies. “Rachel told me that it was… what’s that called… a rebound.”
“Mom, I have no plans of getting together with Rachel,” I mutter.
She nods. “I didn’t think so. It’s going to be uncomfortable moving forward with the parties but she’ll have no choice but to move on. So, when can we meet our granddaughter?”
“As soon as I get the test results and I tell Addison. We’ll make arrangements to have her meet you. I’m sure her parents would love to meet you, too,” I reply as Dad hands me back my phone.
“Sounds like you like her,” Mom says. “But if you only met her before you left for your trip, that means you barely know her. What if you aren’t compatible?”
I shrug. “Doesn’t mean I can’t start somewhere, Mom, and that’s what I intend to do.”
“And she feels the same way for you?” Dad asks, frowning. “You were gone a year, son. Some women… they move on.”
“I know they do, but Addison and I seem to be on the same page.”
For now.
Mom heaves a sigh of relief. “That’s good. She sounds like a good person.”
“She is.”
“Good,” Mom says again. “Well, I’m going to bed. Are you staying over?”
I chuckle. “Mom, I live five blocks away. So, no, I’m heading back to my co-op and I’ll see Dad tomorrow.” I face my Dad who’s finishing the last of his tea. “You need me tomorrow, right?”
“Of course, I do. It’s the first day of the West Side job, one of Miss Carnavon’s referrals. You remember her, right?”
“Of course.”
“She referred us to her friends while you were away and we won the account. Starts tomorrow though you don’t need to do any of the dirty work. You’ve graduated from that, kid.”
“I don’t mind, Dad.”
“Dan and Winston have all the rough cabinetry plans in the workshop. They’ve been waiting for you to get back so you all can get started,” he says, referring to the guys I work with at the carpentry workshop is in Astoria, right next door to Dad’s office. “Thank your lucky stars there were enough dela
ys with the permits at the DOB or you’d have missed out on this one.”
“If you two are going to talk shop, do it in the study, Tom,” Mom says as she gets up from her chair, a signal that means we need to leave her kitchen. She hates it when we talk business in here.
“Thanks for dinner, Mom. It was amazing as always. I’m stuffed.” I’m actually overstuffed, but just like you can’t say no to Filipino mothers like Addison’s, the same goes for Irish mothers as well.
She beams as I come over and give her a kiss before she shoos us out of the kitchen anyway. As I follow Dad to the living room, it feels just like old times again—except that a year has gone by and everything has changed.
Chapter Eleven
It's now or never.
“Alright, I'll fess up,” I say after the three of us hold a staring contest for over a minute after Jordan leaves the apartment. “He's Piper's father. I met him last year and we had... well, we hooked up.”
“What do you mean, you hook up?” Ma asks, confused. “What's that?”
“We slept together, Ma. Like, we had sex. It was a one-night stand.” As I say the words, I see Dad wince and I wonder if he's regretting his advice that I tell the truth. I should have been more subtle but it's too late for that.
Ma stares at me, her mouth hanging open. “What about the sperm donor thing? You said you went to a sperm bank.”
“I didn’t. I had a one-night stand and when I found out I was pregnant, I lied and said I went to sperm bank.”
“Where was he?” Ma asks. “He didn’t want the baby or what?”
I sigh. “He was out of the country. He spent a year building schools and clinics in Southeast Asia. It’s why he can speak Filipino fluently.”
“But why didn’t you tell us sooner?” Ma asks, her voice rising. “Is he married?”
“Can you keep your voice down, Amelia?” Dad whispers, one hand covering Piper’s ear. “You’re scaring Piper.”
“Is he married?” Ma asks, undeterred.
“No, he’s not married, Ma,” I reply.
“Then why aren’t you two married yet?” She's all revved up and it's too late to calm her down. “You two have a baby. Not only that, but you lied about getting pregnant through a sperm donor. I told everyone that's what happened. What will they think of you now when they find out the truth?”
“Who cares what they think? I had a one-night stand, Ma. Accept it. The only reason I had to make up the story that I got pregnant via a sperm donor was because I didn't want anyone to judge me the way they judged Harlow when she first met Dax, and it wouldn’t have looked good at the hospital or the clinic.”
If Harlow, who’s more accomplished than I am, had been judged for her personal choices, what about me? I’d just finished my Fellowship, joined the private practice she and Conrad Chen started and felt like such a new kid on the block I ended up working harder than anyone else. Sex hadn’t been the only reason Kevin and I eventually broke up; I simply didn’t want to take my eyes off the goal. I wanted to be respected like Harlow and Conrad. I wanted to be just as good as them. But with Harlow falling off that pedestal, even if her ex-husband had been instrumental in the scandal surrounding her, what about me? What would people say about the doctor who had a one-night stand and got pregnant?
“Ay, Dee,” Ma says, sighing. “It still doesn’t change the fact that you lied to me and everyone. Everyone!”
Piper starts to cry and I feel terrible that she woke up to this. “Let me have her, Dad,” I say but Dad shakes his head.
“I’m taking her to the nursery to sit with her a bit,” he says before turning to Ma. “You two need to talk about this among yourselves. If you ask me, Addy had a good reason to do what she did but it’s also no one’s business but hers and Jordan’s how to go on from here.”
He disappears into the nursery before Ma can say anything and shuts the door. Seconds later, I hear music playing from Piper’s mobile.
“Ma, sit down, please.” I pull out a chair and sit across from her. Reluctantly, she sits down and I’m glad she doesn’t argue although she continues to glare at me. I won’t be surprised if she starts speaking in her dialect, finding not enough English words to convey her disappointment. “I’m sorry I lied to you but it is what it is. I met Jordan on the night of your and Dad’s anniversary and we hit it off really well.”
“For one night,” she says pointedly.
“I know, but he’s here now and he’s going to be part of Piper’s life,” I say.
“Really? Was this before he went to the Philippines? The night you met and had... had sex? Are you sure he doesn't have a girlfriend there? A pen pal maybe? Because men like him always have girlfriends there and they'll never tell you," she says, frowning. "Those women would see him a mile away and think, green card."
I roll my eyes. “Ma, can you hear yourself right now? Honestly? You and Dad were pen pals, too, in case you've forgotten.”
“Our case was different,” she says defensively.
“Ma, Jordan went to Southeast Asia, including the Philippines, to build schools for a nonprofit, not look for a girlfriend.” I reach for her hands and hold them. “But that's not what this is about, is it? This is about me making up that story about having a sperm donor and everyone buying it.”
“Not everyone bought it,” she says, pulling her hands away and crossing her arms in front for her chest. “I always had a feeling you were keeping something from me and I was right. But you still lied. What will everyone say now, ha? This is going to be so embarrassing when they find out the truth.”
I sigh. It's never going to end, this thing about what everyone will think of her daughter—everyone, being her inner circle of friends. “I’m not worried about what they’ll say or think, Ma. Not anymore. They'll say whatever they want to say anyway. I just hope you can understand why I did it even if it was wrong for me to lie.”
“What does he do? Does he have a job? Is he a professional like Kevin?”
Oh, boy. This is where Kevin with his CPA license and that new assignation he just earned comes in. Enrolled agent. Ma's all about status. The more professional, the better. After all, I'm a doctor—a specialist—and to her, I deserve to be with someone who's my equal. What's she going to say when she finds out that Jordan is a not a doctor, architect, or accountant?
“Ma, let's not worry about what other people will think about him or what he does for a living. In the end, it really doesn't matter.”
“Oh yes, it does. What if he’s a janitor or a mechanic? What will everyone say then? You not only lied, you ended up with someone who’s beneath you. What about all your education?”
“I didn’t become a doctor so I could snag a doctor, Ma. I did it for… for me.”
“So what does he do?” She asks.
“He's a contractor. He builds things.” As I say it, I’ve never said the word so proudly. Jordan is proud of what he does and he loves it. He wouldn’t be building schools and clinics in some foreign country if he didn’t.
“What do you mean he’s a contractor?” Ma asks, frowning. “You mean he’s in construction?”
“Yes.”
Ma throws her hands in the air. “Wonderful. I bet he didn't even go to college.”
This time, I raise my hands in surrender, officially putting a stop to the conversation. I'm not letting her pick apart Jordan's education or lack of it. Not every man has to be Kevin. “Alright, that's it. I understand you're shocked and I don't blame you, Ma. I'm sorry I lied but it's done. Right now, my priority is having Jordan be a part of Piper's life. Can we focus on that, at least?”
“But he didn't even go to college, Dee. And you’re a doctor. You went through–”
“So? I don't care if he went to college or not, Ma,” I say. “He’s Piper’s dad and he’s going to a part of her life. A big part. Can you be happy for me for once? And if not for me, but for your granddaughter because she finally has a daddy? A real one and not one that allegedly came from a cu
p or something?”
“Oh, Dee, I’ll have to talk to Father Flannagan about this, and you'll need to go back to confession. And Piper needs to be baptized as soon as possible. You can't delay that anymore. You two also need to get married.”
“I’m not getting married just because he got me pregnant. This isn’t the 50’s anymore, or the Philippines for that matter. And if you want to insist on the marriage thing, then we have nothing to talk about anymore. This conversation is over.”
“Ay, this is worse than I thought. You’re not even yourself right now because the Addy that I know never talked like that,” Ma says as she pushes the chair away and gets up. “I’m going to say goodbye to Piper and I'm going to go home. You'll need to think about getting married long and hard, Dee. Then, I'll be happy. Oh, God, what will people say? Can you imagine the shame?”
What shame? I almost ask out loud but I don’t. “No, Ma, I can’t.”
“You have no idea what you have just done, Dee. None. After all I did for you, this is how you repay me. You lied. How can I even trust you now?”
I don’t bother to say anything else. Anyone would think she raised a saint. Nothing will make Ma happy and I'm not about to keep trying. Not today. I watch her get up from the table and head to the nursery.
Five minutes that feels like an eternity later, my parents emerge from the nursery and I take Piper from Dad's arms. Ma doesn't say anything as she gathers her purse and heads for the door. But as they leave, I see Dad give me a commiserating look.
“I knew it the moment I saw him, Peanut.”
As I close the door behind him, I suddenly feel so defeated. I should feel better for telling the truth about Piper, but I don't. Instead, I feel worse knowing that soon, Ma's friends will know the truth and like she says, what will people say?
They're the same friends she used to brag all my accomplishments to, the ones who ended up comparing their kids to me for as long as I can remember that my cousins hated me with a passion. Mom had no idea what she'd created, the ripples of one action affecting others in ways she probably never anticipated. Some of them didn't even bother to do the comparisons in private.
