I held my breath, waiting for her reply. If she outright refused me, I couldn’t blame her. I would have to listen to her wishes, even if that was what I was most afraid of.
“I’m not sure,” she said after a few minutes, sighing and throwing her arms up. “I want to believe you, Ben, but your track record so far is terrible.”
I nodded quickly. “I know. But if we could just try? Take it one step at a time. I’m not asking you to trust me now, just give me a chance.”
She let out another sigh. She didn’t reply, but she went back to eating, instead of just getting up and walking away, and I hoped that meant she agreed.
Chapter Six
Ginger
Minutes after Ben and I had finished breakfast, and I’d left him to clean up the dishes, I was still in his apartment. I was in the living room, seated on the couch I’d spent the night on, wondering to myself just why I was still there.
“What the fuck am I doing,” I growled to myself.
There was no reason why I hadn't left yet. I’d gotten the apology from Ben that I’d been waiting for. We were…possibly going to try again in our relationship. At least, he’d asked, and I hadn't exactly said no. Was that really what I wanted, though? Because I was feeling confused now.
To go or not to go…
He was a room away, and while I couldn’t see him, I could hear him moving around. There was silence between us, and I wasn’t sure if it was just me, but the air in the apartment felt so fucking awkward.
Ben had apologized, and…what was supposed to come after that? We’d have a conversation? I’d talk to him about Fern, and he’d meet her?
“Crap!” I hissed, my eyes widening as I only then remembered my daughter. And my mom, who I’d left to go home without me last night, only I never made it home.
What the hell was I supposed to say to them!
My purse was on the floor right in front of the couch, and I picked it up, rooting inside for my phone. Before I could make the call, though, it rang, and the name that flashed on the screen was Mom. I answered quickly.
“Hello, Mom?” I said quickly. “I’m so sorry about not being home last night; I swear I can explain.”
I chewed on my bottom lip, worried about her being angry or disappointed. What would she have thought if her adult daughter stayed out all night, after going to meet her… An ex-boyfriend? Ben wasn’t even that because technically, we never broke up. He just up and left, and we were both hoping we could resolve the relationship with him back.
It wouldn’t happen so quickly, though!
“Honey,” Mom said after a minute of silence. “I was worried when you didn’t come home, but you don’t have to explain anything to me. I trust you.”
My breath caught in my throat at my mom’s words, and my eyes stung. She’d been the same when, after Ben had left, I’d told her I was pregnant, once I confirmed it. She had been so supportive then, and I didn’t think I could have gone through the pregnancy and giving birth, and raising my daughter if it wasn’t for my mom’s support.
“Sorry,” I sniffled. “I didn’t mean to stay out. I’ll come home soon.”
“Oh, honey, you don’t have to. I won’t ask what happened last night, but I hope the two of you are at least talking now. You should spend some time with him for now. Fern is fine, and I’ll be taking her with me into work. You don’t need to rush home.”
“All right, Mom. I’ll talk to you later.”
I hung up the call and spent a minute just staring at my phone. Ben walking into the living room brought me out of my daze, and I looked up at him.
“Was that your mother?” he asked. “What did she say?”
“Uh, she said she’s looking after Fern, so there’s no need for me to rush home.”
I held my breath and waited for him to ask about Fern. He’d seen her yesterday, and it wasn’t such a huge leap to guess the child was his. Even if he’d assumed I was with someone else after he’d left and Fern wasn’t his; I still waited for him to ask.
“Good,” Ben said, smiling. “We can go to our secret spot, then, because you’re free today.”
I sighed, disappointed because he hadn't asked. Did I want him to ask? I wasn’t sure how we were going to have that conversation, but it had to come up sometime, because he’d been there to see her call me Mommy. Or did he just not care about her at all?
“You can't just walk back into my life after all these years and expect that things are going to be how they were before,” I growled at him, feeling extra irritated because he hadn't asked about Fern. “Also, I said nothing about being free. There’s still work. Mom told me not to rush, not that I shouldn’t go in at all.”
“But I don’t expect everything to be the same,” Ben said quickly, speaking up in his defense. “I know things are different now. I just…want to get out of my apartment. I haven’t been leaving all that often,” he admitted, looking sheepish, rubbing the back of his neck as his head ducked down.
“Really?” I asked, surprised.
Ben had never been the kind of person to just stay in one place. He wasn’t the kind of teenage boy that spent hours in front of a TV, watching a movie or playing a video game. More often than not, he was outside getting up to some mischief with his friends.
He nodded. “Yeah. Just part of being a coward, I only ever leave to see my dad. I wouldn’t mind a different view.”
I looked down at myself and wrinkled my nose. “I don’t have a change of clothes, but can I at least have a shower then?”
“Sure. Let me give my sister a call, see if she can bring anything up for you.”
He pointed out the bathroom to me. I froze for a second when I realized the only bathroom was through his bedroom, but I needed a shower, so I went in. I took a quick wash, then stood in front of the bathroom mirror and rubbed some toothpaste into my teeth, before rinsing out my mouth. It was the best I could do without a toothbrush.
Scarlett had dropped some clothes by for me, and thankfully underwear, too. Ben left the clothes for me in the bedroom to get dressed; then we headed out. We took his car, and he drove us to the spot we’d called ours since we were high school sweethearts, even though plenty of people probably went to the same place.
It was this place high up, right at the edge of a drop where we had a view of the whole town. He parked the car, and I sat on the hood, with him leaning back against it, sitting beside me. We sat in silence, just breathing in the fresh air and taking in the view.
“Before, you mentioned a name. Fern…”
My heart skipped a beat in my chest as I looked up to see he was already looking at me.
“She’s my daughter,” he went on. “Isn’t she?”
I nodded slowly. He let out a harsh breath, his head falling back as he frowned. Then his head snapped up, and he met my eyes again.
“Can you tell me about her?”
My gaze drifted down because I couldn’t keep looking at him. He had on this haggard expression that let me know he sincerely regretted not being there for her.
“I have videos,” I told him. “I wasn’t sure if you’d even come back, but I thought it would be fair so that you wouldn’t miss out completely. She had her first steps when she was a year and a few months old. Then her first words. She would cry every time I wasn’t with her from the time she was born until she could properly walk. But then she started getting inquisitive about everything, so I couldn’t stand having her out of sight because I just knew she would get herself into some trouble.”
I’d gotten as much as possible on film, for Ben’s sake and mine so that I wouldn’t forget those early times. In the three years, Ben had been gone for; I’d used up plenty of memory cards saving up the films.
“Has she started school yet?” he asked.
I shook my head. “Not yet, but soon.”
He hummed. “Then I didn’t miss everything, at least.” He sighed and met my gaze as I looked up. “I was involved in a plane crash. I had several months o
f recovery, and I met a lot of doctors, including a shrink. Because my status wasn’t the best, I was given an early dismissal from duty. That’s why I came back home.”
I stared at him, wide-eyed, even as he turned to look back at the view.
It was hours before we were ready to go back. We’d had a late start to the day, and a late breakfast, but my stomach was growling because we’d missed lunch. The sun was setting, and Ben took my hand to help me off the hood of his car, but he tugged too hard, and I stumbled into his chest.
We both froze. My hands were pressed against his impressive chest, and I could feel his heart beating fast under my palm. Slowly, I looked up and met his eyes. My breathing started coming a little fast, and my heartbeat picked up until it matched his.
After a long moment of just staring at each other with the air growing charged between us, Ben leaned down. My breath caught, but I didn’t pull away. Instead, I raised a little on my tip toes to meet him halfway, and we kissed, for the first time in four years.
Chapter Seven
Ben
I woke up early, as usual, snapping awake and feeling alert. Only, instead of being anxious to face the day, there was this huge grin on my face.
Last night, I’d fallen asleep and dreamed of the moment Ginger, and I had shared at our spot. Hours later, and I was still feeling the effects of it. After we’d kissed, and I’d driven Ginger back to my place to pick up her clothes, then walked her down to her car so she could leave. There hadn't been a single awkward moment between us. It was more progress than I’d hoped in such short time.
I jumped out of bed and went to take a shower, humming to myself the whole time. I got dressed quickly, picking out my one good pair of jeans and a clean t-shirt. I went to my little kitchen and looked around, to see if there was anything to eat. My cereal was all gone, though, and I’d used up my last carton of OJ with Ginger yesterday. Just the reminder had me grinning again.
“I’ll need groceries later,” I muttered to myself.
At the moment, though, I needed food. I checked my phone as I left, and figured my sister would be in the kitchen, helping make breakfast for the guests. So I headed for the dining hall, sat myself down at a free table, and waited for my sister to bring me something for breakfast.
She didn’t disappoint me, and a few minutes later, she was heading my way with a tray full of food.
“Do you have someone spying on me?” I asked, feeling curious. “And they just tell you every time I walk in here, so you know to bring me something?”
“It’s something like that,” she said, shrugging unapologetically.
She set the food down, and the same cup of tea I’d had last time, then sat down across from me.
“You should get back to work,” I told her, digging into the food.
“Slow down a little,” she admonished, but she was smiling. “You look happy, though. Like something good happened. I won’t ask what, but I hope it lasts.”
She got up to leave before I could give her an answer, but I was too busy stuffing my face, anyway.
I finished eating quickly and got up to leave. I wasn’t sure what I was going to do for the day, but I knew I wasn’t going back to hiding in my apartment. After yesterday, I felt like I had a lot of courage to spare.
“Shit,” I cursed, frowning as I searched my pockets and realized I’d left my car keys back in my apartment.
So I ran back up to get the keys.
I was going to see Ginger today. I didn’t want to bother her at work, but she was giving me a chance, and I was determined to take it.
“Flowers,” I mused to myself as I left my room for the second time. “I could take her some flowers. She used to love it when I did that before.”
With a plan in mind, I headed back down to the lobby. Scarlett must have been done in the kitchen because she was already seated at the reception when I made it down.
“Don’t work too hard,” I called out as I walked past her.
“Don’t stay out too late,” she called back.
I shot a frown at her over my shoulder, but I knew why she was worried. I’d told my sister pretty much what I told Ginger yesterday, only with more detail, about the plane crash and how I’d been afterward. She was just worried about me, but I was an adult, and I could look after myself.
There was a flower shop not too far from the hotel. We had a lot of business with them, actually, so I knew the couple who ran it. I stopped by and picked out the flowers I wanted, having them put in a bundle that wasn’t too small or too big, then I hopped back in my car and drove to Ginger’s salon. I parked the car a bit of a distance away, where she wouldn’t see me immediately if she looked outside.
I stood on the sidewalk for a minute, going through the usual breathing exercises to calm my heart down. Then, I started forward, only to be stopped with a hand on my arm. I whirled around, a confused frown ready for whoever it was, and it quickly morphed into a scowl when I saw who stopped me.
“Hunter,” I growled.
He was someone else I’d gone to high school with, only back then, he’d been my rival. We both liked the same girl, and even though she chose me in the end, the bastard never gave up.
“The fuck are you doing here?” he growled right back at me.
I shoved his hand off me, and we stood glaring at each other on the sidewalk. Other people walking around gave us a wide berth, but I wasn’t about to start a fight, one that I knew I would win anyway, and not just because I’d had plenty of training during my service.
“I’m here to see Ginger.”
“Yeah, well, don’t. Better yet, stay the fuck away from her, okay? She deserves so much better than you.” He sneered at me. “You’re not good, just like the rest of your family. You’re only good for nothing, you hear me?”
The part about Ginger deserving better stung a bit because I knew it to be true. But at the mention of my family, I glowered. I clenched my hands, squishing the flowers I was holding onto just a little.
“I always knew you were pathetic, Hunter, but this is crossing a line even for you. I’m going to ask you one time to back away because I won’t put up with you floating in the wings this time just waiting for the time when Ginger would give you some scraps of attention. It is none of your fucking business.”
His face reddened a bit in anger, but before I could crow over winning one over him, he suddenly smirked, and I narrowed my eyes at him.
“Oh, but Ben. It is every bit of my business because I’ve been seeing Ginger. Did you think she’d just stay single for three years and wait for you after you ran out on her?” He let out a laugh, and it wasn’t nice. “I’m going in to see her. Take the chance and disappear before you embarrass yourself. It’s what you’re good at, anyway.”
I stood on the sidewalk and watched him head for Ginger’s salon and walk in. I wanted to follow him, but…
Was it true? I didn’t have the right to blame her for seeing someone else for all that time that I’d been gone, even if the person was Hunter.
But, after yesterday, a part of me refused to believe it. So I got back in my car and sat to wait. It was still early in the day, but I’d learned some patience in the past three years. I didn’t move from my spot, even as lunch came and went, and it finally began to grow dark.
I sat up when Ginger’s mom walked out with the little girl. My eyes fixated on her for a moment, the realization hitting me that she was my daughter. She and Ginger’s mom climbed into a car and drove away. Ginger wasn’t with them, though.
Hoping she’d stayed back, and I hadn't just missed her, I got out of the car, leaving the flowers behind. I crossed the street and opened the door, the bell above it ringing with my arrival.
“Sorry, but we’re closed,” Ginger said as she swept up the floor.
“I’ll only be here a minute,” I said, and she stilled. “I have a question.”
She whirled around, eyes wide. “Ben, what are you doing here?”
“I met with H
unter,” I said, ignoring her question. “He told me the two of you were seeing each other. Is it true?”
Chapter Eight
Ginger
I stared at Ben with my mouth parted, but no words were escaping my throat.
What could I say to him anyway? After he’d left me for three years, and we’d just barely gotten in better standing with each other, he was coming to me with accusations?
“Hunter stopped by earlier,” I said after a minute. “Did he speak to you before that?”
He nodded quickly, looking a little anxious. His fingers were tapping on his thighs, and I wondered if he even noticed it was happening. It was the only reason why I didn’t blow up at him for the question.
“Whatever you think he came here for, Hunter walked in here for his hair appointment.”
Ben’s eyebrows shot up. “What?”
I rolled my eyes. “Did you think our only clientele were women? We have a few guys come in now and then, Hunter too. But how dare you come in here and question me about this?”
Just because I was tamping down my anger, didn’t mean I wasn’t upset at him. I dropped the broom I was using to sweep up stray hairs on the floor, and folded my arms across my chest as I faced him. I saw Ben swallow, and his fingers tapped faster on his thighs.
“I just… I was a little worried about what he said.”
“Do you even have the right to be, though?” I asked.
He fidgeted, then shook his head. He dropped his head, looking every bit like a chastised little boy, only he was so much bigger than me. I sighed, dropping my arms.
“Why did you come here, then?”
He looked up, his expression growing determined. “I wanted to tell you that, if you would allow it, I want our daughter to know me. I want to be a part of her life, however way you want it. You could tell her I’m a friend and then tell her that I’m her dad in time. I just want to be there for her, looking after her when you don’t have the time… But then Hunter showed up and said that and I couldn’t bring myself to walk in here with her still here.”
I scowled at him, feeling angry all over again. He was meeting my gaze, not looking at all anxious so that I wouldn’t hold myself back either.
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