“All right,” Jared finally said. “That was good. I think if we go any longer, we’ll have nothing left for tomorrow’s audition.”
“Thank god,” Kyle said. “I was about to pass out here.”
Hector stood up, twirling a drumstick in one hand. “You were right, Kyle, Maddie does pick things up quickly.”
“Told you. It’s freaky, right?”
I bowed my head, but couldn’t hide the small grin on my face. My arms trembled with exhaustion, my fingertips throbbed, and my hands had cramped up, but I felt whole, like I’d been missing a piece of myself all my life and finally had it glued back on. And I never wanted to lose it again.
FIVE
The guys picked me up bright and early in their van, their gear already packed inside. I squeezed my way into the backseat next to Kyle, who wore a faded black T-shirt and a studded belt. He gave me a quick once-over as I got inside. “Perfect.”
I said a silent thanks to my two best friends. Julie had picked out a black babydoll dress with a hint of lace and loaned me some ropey chain jewelry and knee-high boots. Carla had given me smoky eyes, dark red lips, and a hint of curl to my usually limp brown hair. Somehow they’d made me look fierce, but still like myself, too. Even my black-rimmed glasses looked more ironic than nerdy now.
Hector gave me a nod, too, which I supposed meant he approved. He was dressed similarly to Kyle, except with his usual baseball cap with the Villain Complex logo.
Jared turned from the driver’s seat and looked me up and down. It might have been my imagination, but his eyes seemed to linger a little longer than the other two guys’ had.
“You look great,” he finally said, making my heart skip a beat. “We don’t have much time, so let’s go.”
The van’s door slid shut with a thunk, and we were off, driving along the sleepy Saturday morning streets of Los Angeles toward downtown. I picked at the hem of my dress, the whole situation surreal. I was in a car with three guys in a rock band, going to audition for a TV show I’d watched for years. It was hard to believe this wasn’t all a dream.
The guys didn’t talk much, and the closer we got, the more nervous I felt. This was really happening now. I couldn’t back out. Well, I could, but I’d completely screw the guys over and I would never do that. Kyle was my friend, and Jared had taken a chance on me. Yes, it was only because he needed me for the audition, but I still appreciated his faith in my skills.
We soon reached LA Live, a giant plaza with restaurants, movie theaters, and clubs, plus the Staples Center, where basketball games were held, and the Nokia Theatre, where The Sound was filmed. The auditions were taking place across the street, at the LA Convention Center, and a huge crowd was already lined up along the sidewalk to be in the audience. We parked the van, and some guy with a headset and a clipboard checked us off and had us unload and tag our gear. He gave us a card with a 93 on it and said they’d call our number when they were ready for us.
“Are there really ninety-two bands before us?” Jared asked him.
“Nah, we hand the numbers out randomly,” the guy said, before waving us into a huge room with a bunch of other people.
Judging from the wild assortment of clothes and hairstyles and the way everyone stood in groups and eyed each other with a mix of thinly veiled curiosity and contempt, these must be the other bands waiting to audition. I took in the vast crowd, and my stomach did summersaults. From the guys with long hair and motorcycle jackets, to the punk rockers with mohawks, to the country princesses who looked like Taylor Swift clones, all of them belonged here much more than I did.
“I need coffee,” Kyle said. He took our orders—coffee for me and Hector, tea with honey for Jared (for his voice, he said)—and then joined the very long line at the coffee stand. All the tables and chairs were already taken, so we found a spot by the wall and leaned against it. There was nothing to do now but wait.
While Hector sat on the floor and drew in a sketchbook, Jared surveyed the room with a line of worry across his forehead. He wore a black button-down shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, showing off his inked arms. His face had the perfect amount of stubble brushing his chin and framing his mouth, and even in this crowd, I couldn’t help but be drawn to him.
“You okay?” I asked, after he sighed for the fifth time.
Jared ran a hand through his hair, making it stick up more. It made him look even better somehow. “I didn’t think there would be so many people here, you know?”
“Yeah.” I didn’t mention that there were probably dozens more on their way or auditioning on other days because I understood how he felt. This was his chance to follow his dream, to make it big with his band, and now it seemed impossible in the face of all this competition. Villain Complex was good, but we’d only spent one night practicing together, and there were so many bands here, and oh god, the more I thought about it the more I might throw up.
“How about you?” he asked.
I pressed my hands to my stomach, willing it to be calm. “Honestly? No, I’m not okay.”
He laughed and sang my words to the tune of “I’m Not Okay (I Promise)” by My Chemical Romance. He continued with the next lines in the song for a minute, and some of the other people around us turned to watch him serenading me. It should have been embarrassing, but instead it made me smile and some of the tension in my shoulders relaxed. It wasn’t every day a hot guy sang to me, after all.
He finished with an exaggerated bow, and I laughed. “Yes, that song popped into my head, too,” I said. “Unintentional song reference, I promise.”
“It got you to laugh, so my work here is done,” he said, and I melted even more.
Kyle returned and shoved coffee cups at us. “Rumor is, none of the mentors have filled up their teams yet. Sounds like we still have a shot.”
He leaned against the wall next to Jared while they sipped their drinks. When they were side by side, it was obvious they were brothers, with the same deep blue eyes, perfect mouths, and striking jawlines, but Kyle was like Jared with the volume turned to full blast. Kyle showed the world he didn’t conform—with his dyed-black hair, multiple piercings and ear gauges, and tattoos crawling up his neck and down his fingers—but Jared was more restrained. Only the tattoos on his arms hinted at his darker side, like his true self couldn’t quite be contained and had bled ink across his skin. If he wore long sleeves, you’d never know what lurked underneath.
Perhaps that’s why Jared was the one who took my breath away. I could relate to that restraint, to keeping a piece of yourself hidden at all times and feeling like everything had to be under control. There was a part of me—the part that played guitar in my room every night and felt more at home at a rock concert than in an orchestra—that I kept hidden away, too. Problem was, I wasn’t sure I wanted to keep that Maddie locked up anymore.
At one point, Jared made his way around the room to talk to the other bands. He was a natural at it, with his easy charm and charisma, but all I saw were the beautiful women placing their hands on his arms and the way he stood too close to them, laughing at whatever they said. He was supposed to be checking out our competition, not collecting phone numbers. I hated that seeing him flirt with other girls bothered me so much. Kyle had warned me, after all, and it’s not like anything would happen between me and Jared anyway.
“What’d you find out?” Kyle asked when Jared returned.
“Some of these people have been waiting for two hours already.” He sighed and leaned back against the wall. “We’re going to be here forever.”
Hector grunted. “Unless the mentors pick all their team members before we even get in.”
“Don’t even say that,” Jared said. “Just don’t.”
“Relax, that’s not going to happen,” Kyle said.
Other bands got called up and then disappeared, never to return. It was impossible to know from this room what happened to them or what our competition was like. The longer we waited, the more I was convinced tha
t Hector was right and the mentors would fill up their teams before we got a chance to audition. No, that’d be too easy. It was more likely we’d get on stage and I’d screw up horribly, and it would be my fault the band wasn’t picked for the show. How could the other guys trust me with something this big?
Our number was finally called thirty minutes later, and we all rushed to the desk at the front of the room. A woman with a high ponytail and a polo shirt with the show’s logo on it grabbed four clipboards and shoved them at us.
“This is the show’s contract. Each of you need to print your name and the date and sign it at the end.”
I tried to read the small print, but there was just so much of it. Pages and pages of legalese I didn’t understand. The guys looked just as baffled, except Jared, who was actually reading the thing like it was interesting.
“It’s all pretty standard stuff,” the woman said, sounding annoyed that we weren’t signing it immediately. She started ticking things off on her fingers. “If you’re selected during the audition, you agree to be on the show for the next five weeks. The show will pay for your hotel, plus a small living stipend. Any songs you record for the show will be sold on the website, and you’ll receive ten percent of the profits. If you’re one of the final four bands, you agree to go on tour in August, and if you win, you receive a recording contract from Mix It Up Records.”
“Um, should I sign this if I’m only a temporary member of the band?” I asked while I flicked through it.
“No changes in band members for the duration of the show, including the audition,” the woman snapped. “It’s right there on page four.”
“No changes?” I nearly dropped the clipboard. If I did this audition, I’d be stuck with the band for as long as they were on the show. Or even longer, if we made it to the final four and were sent on tour. That would be the entire summer—and my internship started next Monday. There was no way I could do both.
“What?” Kyle asked and then spun to face Jared. “Did you know about this?”
“No! I would never trick Maddie into joining the band. I swear, I didn’t know.”
Kyle tossed his clipboard on the table. “That’s it then. It’s over. Let’s get our gear and go.”
“I told you we should have waited until next year,” Hector muttered.
Jared scanned the contract again. “This can’t be it. There must be some other way.”
Kyle sighed. “Should we call Becca? Maybe if we begged her…”
“No. Definitely not. We can’t trust her to keep it together for the next five weeks.”
“I know, but—”
While the guys argued, I stared at the contract in my hands. The decision I made here could impact the rest of my life, and the two choices weighed on me, heavy with their uncertain futures. I could leave the band now without any hard feelings and go back to my normal life and the internship I had worked so hard for. That was the safe path, the one I’d been traveling on for the last three years. Once I washed off the makeup and returned the clothes to Julie, I’d be regular old Maddie again, who only practiced guitar in secret and had her future figured out.
Except…I didn’t want to go back to my normal life anymore.
I’d joined the band thinking it would only be for this one audition. But now that I’d played with them, I wanted more. I wanted to compete with them, to perform their songs on stage, and maybe even have a shot at winning this thing. I wanted to fight for my dream—my real dream—for once in my life, instead of standing in the audience and cheering for someone else.
“I want to do the show,” I said, my pulse racing with equal parts fear and excitement. “If you’ll have me in the band, that is.”
“Are you sure?” Kyle asked. “You were so excited about your internship.”
“I was, but when I practiced with you guys last night, it just felt…right. Like this is what I’m meant to be doing. I don’t want to look back years from now and wonder what if, you know?”
“Yeah, I get that.” He turned to the rest of the band. “Well, I’m happy to let Maddie join the band permanently. What about you guys?”
“I’m cool with it,” Jared said.
“Of course you are.” Hector rolled his eyes. “But yeah, let’s do this.”
Jared grinned and draped an arm across my shoulder, sending another spike of heat through me. “Welcome to the band, Maddie.”
* * *
After signing the contract, we were taken to a small waiting room and told we’d be going on in ten minutes. Hector stretched his neck and arms while Kyle texted someone, probably Alexis. Jared ran through some vocal exercises and paced back and forth, like he was about to burst through the door and take on the crowd by himself.
I sank onto the couch, the room suddenly spinning. Now that the big moment was almost here, I didn’t know if I could go through with this. My stomach threatened to bring up everything I’d had today—which, granted, had been only a small coffee. Maybe I should have eaten something this morning. Great, I was going to blow this entire audition because I hadn’t thought to grab a muffin before I left.
“How are you doing?” Jared asked, sitting next to me. “Still not okay?”
“Very much not okay.” I took off my glasses and cleaned them on my dress, my movements quick and shaky.
Jared placed his hand on mine, and I nearly jumped off the couch. But then his hand was gone, so fast I almost questioned whether it had actually happened, except that his touch left a lingering warmth on my skin.
“Relax,” he said. “We’re all nervous, but we nailed it during last night’s practice. We’ve got this.”
I nodded, but I had no doubt the rest of the band would be great. They’d all performed on stage together before, many times. I’d played with them in their garage for a few hours. Not the same at all.
Kyle dropped onto the couch, squeezing me between the two brothers. “I don’t blame you for freaking out, Maddie. This whole thing is terrifying. But I’ve seen you perform a dozen times, you’ll be great.”
“That was different,” I said. Today I’d be playing guitar in a rock band in front of hundreds of people and the four amazing musicians we needed to impress to get on the show. Musicians from bands I’d grown up listening to and had fangirled over for years. And if we got on the show, our audition would be aired next week for the entire country to watch. Including my mother.
“Just don’t screw up and we’ll be fine,” Hector said.
“Gee, thanks for the pep talk,” I said, and the other guys laughed. Even Hector grinned, and that sense of belonging—that feeling that this was right—struck me again. I was a part of this band now. I could do this.
Our ten minutes were up too soon, and we were directed down a brightly lit hallway and into the backstage area. The Sound used a special kind of rotating stage that I’d also seen at music festivals, with a platform on each side so bands could set up and break down their equipment while another band was performing. Then the stage rotated, and it began again. This saved a lot of time with so many bands playing back-to-back.
I couldn’t see the band currently on stage, but their music pounded under my feet as the crowd cheered for them. We were about to be in the exact same spot, in front of that same crowd, with our music blasting through the speakers. No, I couldn’t think about that or I’d run straight back to that waiting room.
We rushed onto the back side of the stage, which had already been cleared by the previous band. Our gear was waiting for us, and some roadies helped us get it unpacked quickly. After hours of waiting, everything was happening so fast. I didn’t have time to think; I just shoved my earpiece in and grabbed my guitar to check the tuning while the other guys handled their own instruments. I got my distortion pedal and mic set up just as the band on stage finished their song. I heard the mentors commenting but couldn’t tell if the band had done a good job or not. Either way, it meant we had to hurry.
Kyle got behind his keyboard, Hector sat at
the drums, and that left me and Jared up front. My sweaty fingers dropped my guitar pick, and when I went to grab it, my knees nearly gave out from under me. When I straightened up, Jared stood right in front of me, his bass hanging from his neck.
“Ready?” he asked.
“Um, as ready as I’ll ever be.” Which was to say, hell no. I smoothed my hair and yanked the bottom of my dress down, wishing I had a mirror to check how I looked one last time.
“Just have fun. It’ll be over before you know it.” He brushed a finger against my cheek, making me shiver. “Stray eyelash,” he explained. “You look amazing, by the way.”
Our eyes locked, and for a second, it was only the two of us on stage, about to make music together. He offered me one of his heart-stopping smiles, and it gave me the strength I needed to go through with this.
The stage began to turn, ending the moment. Jared and I moved back to our positions in front of our mics as the roar of the crowd grew louder and spotlights flashed in our eyes. My heart pounded as an entire sea of faces stretched before me. And in front, the four musicians who would decide our fate.
This was our one shot to change our futures forever. Our one moment to lose ourselves in the music and hope we brought the audience along with us. Our one chance to turn our dreams into reality.
I was ready.
SIX
I sent off a silent prayer to the universe that I wouldn’t screw up just as the stage finished rotating. Hector started us off with the snap of his drumsticks, and we all jumped in with the opening to “Behind the Mask,” exactly like we’d practiced. My guitar rang out across the giant theater, louder than I expected but blending with the rest of the band’s sound. Jared began to sing, his voice like heartbreak and salty tears, and the crowd pulsed with each word. In seconds, he’d captivated them, like I’d seen him do to the audience at the shows I’d been to.
BANGED: Rock Stars, Bad Boys & Dirty Deeds Page 66
