I was impressed by how calm she was. If we’d been kicked off tonight, I’d be hiding in the bathroom and sobbing. “I hope things work out for you.”
“Thanks.” She leaned close and lowered her voice. “We never had a shot at winning this thing, but you do. Don’t let that Lacey bitch win, even if the show is practically handing it to her.”
“I’ll try.” I was floored she thought we could actually win. But beating Lacey, America’s sweetheart? That might be tough.
* * *
Thirty minutes after I got back to the hotel, there was a knock on my door. I opened it to find Jared leaning against the frame. His eyes drank me in, skimming up and down my body, and then he gave me a slow smile. “Room service.”
He definitely looked good enough to eat. I shut the door behind him, and he pushed me against it, digging his fingers into my hair while he kissed me. I slid the leather jacket off him and ran my hands across his broad shoulders, down his hard back, along his strong arms. I pushed his shirt up, splaying my fingers across his stomach. Last night had given me a taste of how good it would be with Jared, and now he was wearing far too many clothes.
He pulled his shirt off, and I paused to stare at his toned chest and the dark hair trailing down into his jeans. I dragged a finger across his rough jaw and lower, tracing each letter of VILLAIN inked below his collar. When I saw him like this, tattooed and gorgeous and forbidden, I couldn’t believe he was real and in my room and taking his clothes off for me.
He unbuttoned my shirt slowly, like he was savoring each new reveal of skin. When it fell to the floor, he pressed his lips to the hollow of my neck, making me gasp. He tugged down my bra straps and his mouth moved to my shoulders, kissing a line along each one. I threw my head back as he continued lower, down my chest, to the spot between my breasts. He unhooked my bra with one easy gesture, reminding me again how experienced he was. As his eyes swept over my chest, I had to resist the urge to cover myself. He’d been with so many other girls—how could I possibly measure up? And was I just another in his long list of flings?
“God, you’re so beautiful,” he whispered, and then his mouth was on me again and all my worries were forgotten. He took his time with each breast, circling and licking each nipple, while I tangled my fingers in his hair and whimpered for more. His fingers dipped into the waistband of my jeans, tugging my hips to him, while his lips and tongue continued their exploration of me. He moved slowly, worshipping my body, and I couldn’t decide if I wanted to savor every second of this or if I just wanted to rip off his clothes and devour him.
He unbuttoned my jeans, his knuckles brushing against my waist. When he pushed them down, I stood before him in nothing but the lace panties I’d worn on purpose, knowing he might see them. He took me in with hungry eyes, lightly trailing his hands along the backs of my thighs, making me shiver.
“Beautiful,” he whispered again.
His mouth moved lower, across my stomach and the curve of my hips. He tugged my panties down slowly, until I stood naked in front of him. Completely exposed and on display while he still had most of his clothes on. And somehow that brought back all my worries, all my fears, all my insecurities about the two of us.
I dug my fingers into his shoulders. “Jared,” I said, my voice hesitant.
He pulled back to scan my face. “What’s wrong?”
I bit my lip and looked away. Kyle’s words came back to me: how his brother didn’t do serious relationships, how I’d promised not to get involved with Jared. Next came Lacey’s proposition to Jared in the elevator, followed by that text message from the girl wanting to hook up, and a never-ending stream of other girls I’d seen flirt with him. Jared might be mine tonight, but would he be mine tomorrow? And if not, was this night together worth the risk when it could cost me everything with the band and cost us all the win?
“We don’t have to do this,” he said when I didn’t answer.
“No, I want to. It’s just…” I tried to figure out how to word my thoughts without sounding completely lovesick and pathetic. If we weren’t in my room, this would be the point where I would run away. Instead, I moved to the bed and pulled the covers up to my chest, so I wasn’t quite so bare in front of him.
I took a deep breath and tried again. “I know you’ve probably been to a dozen other girls’ rooms while on the show and that you don’t want anything serious, but I don’t know if I can do a casual hook-up, and I don’t want this to ruin things with the band and the show and…”
He raked a hand through his hair, his mouth twisting. “Is that what you think this is? A casual hook-up?”
“No!” This was spiraling out of control fast, but now that it was out there, I couldn’t take it back. “I don’t know. You’re always surrounded by girls, and there are so many rumors, plus that whole thing with Becca… Even Kyle and Hector joke about all the girls you sleep with. What am I supposed to think?”
“All of that is an act, just part of the image for the band. I know what other people say about me, but I thought you saw past all that shit.” He shook his head, his voice pained. “Maddie, I haven’t so much as kissed another girl since I met you.”
“You…what?” Warmth rushed through me, a relief so strong it almost knocked me back.
Jared sat beside me on the bed. “Yes, I used to mess around a lot. But that’s over now. That’s not me anymore.”
I wanted to believe him, I really did. Maybe I was too damaged from my own parents or maybe it would be different if Jared and I could be together openly, but it was just so hard for me to trust him. He said he’d changed, but how could I know for sure?
He must have seen the hesitation on my face because he sighed. “In freshman year, I caught my girlfriend in bed with our first bassist. Between that and the thing with my parents, I just lost it. I did whatever I could to forget, to feel nothing, to escape myself. I slept around, I drank too much, I got in fights. It was so much easier to be the villain, and after a while, everyone just expected me to be that guy. Girls started coming to our gigs or hiring us for parties because they thought I’d sleep with them, and the band grew more popular as long as I kept up that image. But after Becca, I knew I needed to get my shit together.”
He’d never mentioned any of this before, and it made me ache for him. Suddenly I understood his obsession with villains and the meaning of the band’s name and the lyrics in “Behind the Mask.” He was wrong; the band wasn’t popular because of his image, but because of how much passion he put into everything he did.
I wrapped myself around him, dropping the covers, my breasts pressing against his bare chest. “Jared…”
He touched my lips to silence me. “That night at the party, when I saw you playing my guitar, there was something so raw and honest about the way you sang my lyrics, like you really felt them. Not like the girls who came up to me after a show and said they loved my music but didn’t know what any of it meant. You got it.” He circled his arms around my back, holding me tight against him. “From that moment, you were the only one I wanted.”
His words ignited something deep inside me. I did understand his lyrics. I knew all too well what it was like to keep a part of yourself hidden for years, pretending to be what everyone else wanted while you died a little inside. Jared had freed me when he’d invited me to join his band.
I lightly traced his forehead, his dark eyebrows, his jaw with its permanent five o’clock shadow. He was so beautiful, and I couldn’t believe he’d had feelings for me all this time.
“Jared, I’ve been crazy about you since I saw you perform at the Battle of the Bands. Or even before that, from the first time I heard you sing, when Kyle gave me your album. That’s why I know how to play all your songs.”
His eyebrows jumped up. “Really?”
“Oh, god, does that make me sound obsessed?”
“No, I’m just surprised. It always seemed like you were avoiding me. You’ve known Kyle for years, and yet we somehow never met. And once we
did, you kept running off, like you were scared of me or something.”
“Of course I was scared of you. You’re the bad boy rock star, and I’m the awkward piano player who likes movie scores and geeky stuff.”
“I like geeky stuff, too.” He cupped my face in his hands and whispered, “I like everything about you.”
Our kiss was slow and tender, a caress instead of a demand. I poured everything into his lips, all the pent-up frustration, jealousy, and longing, all the misunderstandings and worries. With this kiss we wiped the slate clean. The past was over, and all that mattered was us, here, now. Together.
As our kiss grew deeper and more intense we sank onto the bed, our limbs tangling together. His chest pressed me down, and I loved the feel of him on top of me, the weight of his body, the brush of his soft hair against my breasts. He was still wearing far too many clothes though. I reached down and ran a hand along the front of his jeans, trying to unbutton them with fingers clumsy from lust. He stood up, and I watched with hungry eyes as he slid his jeans down his hips and off. His boxers fell next, leaving him as naked as I was, giving me a view of his entire, delicious body. And damn, it was a nice view.
I pulled him down on the bed, on top of me, and there was nothing between us now. Our bodies fit together, skin to skin, and it hit me that we were really, finally doing this. He kissed my neck and slipped a hand between my thighs, touching me where I ached the most. That fever overtook me again, the madness that Jared always brought out, making me want more and more of him. I was already so turned on by everything he’d already done to me, it didn’t take long before his talented fingers created a frenzy in me.
“I need you,” I breathed into his neck. “Please.”
“Are you sure?”
“Very.” I grinded my hips against him, and he groaned. I couldn’t wait another minute. I’d lose my mind if I didn’t have him inside me this instant.
He pulled a condom from his jeans, and after it was sorted, I wrapped my arms around his neck and pressed my lips against his, showing him without words I was ready for this. He spread my legs wider and pushed inside me, and I moaned from the satisfaction of finally getting what I’d been craving. He moved slowly at first, a delicious torture as his long length glided in and out, inch by wonderful inch. I lifted my hips to meet him, urging him faster, sliding my hands down his back to his butt to pull him deeper into me. We were as close as two people could be, and yet it wasn’t enough. I wanted Jared to own me completely, to capture my body just as he’d already captured my heart.
“More,” I breathed into his shoulder.
He grabbed my hips and rolled us over, pulling me on top of him with a teasing smile. “Show me.”
I sat up and took a moment to appreciate the way he filled me completely in this position. He watched me, eyes drunk with desire, while I began to move, rolling my hips and making us both cry out. He let me set the pace, and I moved against his body at the perfect angle to drive me higher and higher. His fingers smoothed along my thighs, up my stomach, to coax my nipples in a way that sent pinpricks of pleasure to my core. My back arched while I rode him, my movements growing faster and more frantic, our breaths turning to gasps. Waves of pleasure crashed through me, and he gripped my hips and bucked under me while every part of my body trembled in sweet release.
When the tremors passed, he rolled us over again in one smooth gesture. “My turn.”
I couldn’t believe he was still going. All the other guys I’d slept with would have been done by now, but clearly all of Jared’s experience was paying off. With one hand, he took my wrists and forced them above my head, holding me down while he rocked into me, hard and fast. He crushed my mouth with his and tugged at my lower lip with his teeth until I was whimpering for more.
“Yes,” I cried, “Yes, yes, yes.” This was what I’d wanted: a frenzy, a bonfire, a torrent of Jared pounding into me and claiming me as his own.
I wrapped my legs around his hips, drawing him deeper into me, and with his powerful thrusts he brought me close to the edge again. It seemed impossible so quickly after my last climax, but my entire body tensed up, from my fingers down to my toes. It was too much, it wasn’t enough, and I never wanted it to end. I let go, losing myself in Jared the way I lost myself when I played guitar, when the music took over and made me whole. I broke apart into a million pieces, and he shuddered inside me, emptying himself with a few last thrusts.
We clung to one another, our naked bodies rising and falling in sync with each breath. His face was so close I could count the gold specks in his blue eyes, the dark lashes above them, the rough hairs on his chin. I was sure he could even feel the pounding of my heart through his skin.
He brushed sweat-soaked hair off my face and then kissed me, soft and gentle this time. “That was amazing,” he said in a sleepy, content voice I’d never heard before. I hoped I’d soon come to know it as well as his real smile.
“Mmm…” I kissed him softly. “Even better than I imagined.”
He raised an eyebrow and grinned. “So you thought about this a lot? With me?”
“Oh, stop.” I covered my face with a hand. “As if that’s a surprise. You know what you do to me.”
“Nope, maybe you should show me.” He nuzzled my neck, and I wanted him all over again. Jared really had become my addiction.
“When do you need to get back?”
“I told the guys I was seeing someone tonight, so I’m yours as long as you want me.”
“Good.” I wrapped my arms around his neck, kissing him hard. I didn’t plan on letting him leave for many, many hours.
EIGHTEEN
Jared kept me up most of the night, and even though I arrived at Dan’s studio the next morning bleary-eyed and barely coherent, it was totally worth it.
As I headed into the kitchen area, I overheard Hector say, “I was starting to wonder if you’d lost your game, man.”
“Me?” Jared asked. “Never.”
The guys all greeted me, and when I met Jared’s eyes, my pulse raced, knowing the secret we shared. I felt like I was wearing a giant neon sign that said “SLEPT WITH JARED LAST NIGHT.” He’d returned to his room early this morning, and now wore a T-shirt with a stylized outline of Loki’s helmet from Thor and The Avengers. He must have a never-ending closet full of villain shirts.
“What are you talking about?” I asked innocently while I poured my coffee into a disposable cup.
“Jared spent the night with someone,” Hector said, in a singsong voice. Whoever said guys didn’t like to gossip clearly had no idea what they were talking about.
“First time since we’ve been on the show,” Kyle added. He raised his eyebrows at me, but I couldn’t tell if he was suspicious or giving me a warning or what.
I focused on adding sugar and cream to my coffee. “Good for him.”
“It’s been so long I was worried about him,” Hector said, slapping Jared on the back. “Thought he was getting soft in his old age.”
Jared coughed into his cup of tea. “Do any of you find it odd we’re standing here talking about my sex life? No?”
“Nah, everyone talks about your sex life.”
Jared flipped Hector off, and the guys all laughed. I felt bad that he had to keep up this act with his two closest friends, but they’d also just confirmed that he hadn’t been with anyone else in weeks too. Thank you, guys.
Jared caught me yawning and gave me a knowing grin. “Tired?”
“I’m just stressed about the show, that’s all.”
“I hear that,” Kyle said while he refilled his coffee. “Hard to believe there are only two weeks left.”
Two weeks and two bands per team. We’d made it into the semi-finals, and win or lose, soon all of this would be over. This week’s votes were crucial, though, since if we made it to the finals, we’d get a spot on the tour across the country. But the competition was also stronger than ever, since only the best bands remained at this point.
“The Qu
iet Battles are pretty popular, so we really need to bring it this week,” Jared said.
“Can we beat them?” Kyle asked.
“I think so, but it’ll be close.”
Hector grunted. “We’ve come this far. We are not going home now.”
I hoped he was right. Being sent home now, when everything we wanted was within our grasp, was impossible to consider. It just couldn’t happen; my brain rejected the idea completely. Of course, The Quiet Battles probably felt the exact same way, but only one of us would be on Team Dan a week from now.
We finished up and headed to our practice room to get started. My hand brushed Jared’s hip as I walked past him, and it sent a little thrill through me, touching him right under the other guys’ noses without them knowing. Even though I wished we could be open about our relationship, I couldn’t deny that having a secret romance was pretty damn hot, too.
Dan was already waiting for us, reading something on his phone.
“Oh, hey,” he said, when we entered. “Great job on Saturday. I just heard from Steve that your version of ‘Enjoy the Silence’ was the most downloaded song this week, so congrats on that.”
“No shit?” Hector asked, and the rest of us made similar, shocked comments. Being number one was huge. Not only did it mean more money in our pockets (granted, not much after the show took its massive cut, but still better than nothing), but all the downloads translated to votes. That made our chances of staying to the finals even better—assuming people loved this week’s song, too.
“We’ll have to find some way to top it for the next show,” Dan continued. “The theme is, ‘Tainted Love,’ so I guess they want some messed-up love songs. Any thoughts?”
“Bad Romance,” Jared said immediately.
“The Lady Gaga song?” Kyle asked, looking at his brother like he was crazy.
“We can do a rock version of it, make it dark and twisted.” He grabbed the mic and sang the chorus, his voice rough and sensual. The same voice that had cried out my name only hours ago. It nearly turned me into a molten puddle right there in the studio, and when he winked at me, I knew he’d intended that.
BANGED: Rock Stars, Bad Boys & Dirty Deeds Page 77
