Xane’s face creased in a mixture of amusement and concern. “What did she do, start wanking you under the tablecloth?”
Spook shook his head vehemently. “Breathed. Tilted her head. Smelled good.” He stilled and faced Xane straight on again.
“That’s it? Seriously? Oh, my God.” Xane laughed so hard his shoulders shook. “I thought you’d locked your libido down so tight there was no chance of anyone ever getting through.”
“It’s not funny, Xane. She slides right through my defences.”
“Amazing.”
“She’s messing with my head.”
“Yeah, that’s what girls do.”
“Not to me.” Did he look wild? He sounded unhinged, his voice half-strangled and raspy. He couldn’t bear to look at his reflection to find out. The mini version of himself caught in Xane’s pupils was scary enough. “You’re not hearing me. I can’t do this. You know that, and you know why. But she says, ‘Hi’ and suddenly I’m a fucking tripod.”
Xane swept a hand through his near waist-length black hair. “Ever think that maybe it’s time you took a bulldozer to a few of those boundaries.”
“It is not fucking time.”
Xane reached out at lightning speed — fuck, his reflexes were fast — and stroked a line down the swell of Spook’s erection.
“No, it’s past fucking time. Do yourself a favour, Spook. Go give her want she wants. Fuck her hard, fuck her until you’re both sore and you’re convinced you never want to have sex again. If you decide after that you want more, then all well and good, otherwise, just get her out of your system, and give Long Dong Silver here the work out he’s well overdue.”
Spook caught Xane’s wrist. He hadn’t quite the strength to move him away without turning this into more of a brawl than he wanted, but at least he managed to still Xane’s wandering fingers. “Your typical stellar advice, there. Like it was as simple as fucking her and moving on.”
“It can be if you want it to be.”
“No it can’t.” It never could be. Not for him, and especially not with Alle.
“Shit!” Xane sighed, dragging a hand back through his hair. “What’ll it take to get through to you? Why are you still punishing yourself for something that happened nearly a decade ago?”
“It’s not that long.”
“It’s fucking close enough, and it was never your fault anyway. Stop hiding and start living for fuck’s sake.”
“I am.”
Xane slung an arm around his shoulders and bowed their heads together so the black and blond strands mixed. “I hate to break it to you, Spook, but no, you most definitely are not. What’s so wrong with giving her what she wants, eh? What’s so terrible about burying yourself in her cunt?”
“Because that’s not all she’s asking for,” he growled, and immediately regretted the admission.
Spook’s breathing stalled as his chest grew so tight it would hardly expand. He watched as Xane’s pierced eyebrow cocked, and then crept up his brow almost into the hairline.
“Should I ask how you know?”
“Because, she got to me the first time we met too, that’s how. Did you really think it took us all bloody day to remaster Within You? It’s only a four minute track.”
“You fucked her back in April?”
“No.”
“Fingers? Tongues?”
“Do we have to get into the details?”
“You haven’t fucked anyone in over seven years, damned right I need details.”
“I reddened her backside.”
Both of Xane’s eyebrows almost hit his hairline. “Did you leave marks?”
“Of course not.”
“Oh, Spook.” Xane nervously turned the ring piercing through the centre of his lower lip. He glanced away thoughtfully, before folding his arms across his broad chest. “You took photographs, though? Didn’t you?”
“Yeah.”
“Ones I can see?”
“Get lost.” This wasn’t a joke.
“Spoilsport.” Xane stuck out his tongue, but his attempt to make the subject more light-hearted wasn’t enough to lift the weightiness of the emotions involved. “Did she instigate it, or you?” he asked on a more serious note.
“What do you think?”
“I’m not entirely sure. I’m assuming her, and I’m guessing that’s why she’s got to you so much. She knows what you like, and it just happens to be precisely what she’s looking for. Did she beg?”
Spook shook his head, not in denial, but because he didn’t want to hear it. He couldn’t hear it. Xane was supposed to help plug the holes in his defences, not assist in detonating the explosives threatening to bring them down. However, when he looked at his friend, he knew he ought not to be surprised. He and Xane had a lot in common, but they were very different people. Xane craved love. He sought it constantly, determined to make up for a childhood deprived of real affection. It coloured everything he did and made a heck of a lot of sense of his sex addiction. Spook had no such desperate craving. That sort of physical love had only ever resulted in betrayal and crippling pain for him. It had almost destroyed him once, and he had no intention of ever letting it bring him so close to ruin again.
“You have to trust yourself, Spook, and Alle too. She’s not — ”
“Don’t.” Spook raised his hand to cut off the words he didn’t want to hear. “I mean it, Xane. Don’t raise that ghost.”
“Maybe it’s time you started exorcising some of your demons rather than trying to keep them locked in cages. You could start by releasing the one in your pants.”
“I can’t,” he whispered.
Xane gently patted his shoulder. “You want her, don’t you? So why resist to the point where it’s causing you pain? Imagine the taste of her on your lips, your tongue, and chin; the sight of her naked, her skin warmed by a rosy blush, and a stripe across her arse where you’ve landed your belt.”
“Shut up, Xane.”
“Fine,” his friend sighed. He gave Spook’s shoulder a final squeeze before withdrawing. “Then you’d best find yourself a quieter spot than this and wank yourself silly, because I’m not sure you want to walk around sporting this for the rest of the night.” He cruelly pinched the head of Spook’s erection, where it was pushed tight against the fly of his trousers. “It’ll be noticed, and when it is, I guarantee you that Alle’s interest will be the least of your worries. There are a whole lot of your fans out there just dying to be the one to seduce you into sliding between their thighs.”
“I’m not interested in sliding between anyone’s thighs.” Only in Alle’s.
“Keep telling yourself that.”
Xane turned away and stalked over to the exit. He paused when he reached the door. “I know you don’t want to hear my advice, but for what it’s worth, just go and fuck her. In fact, do whatever it is you need to get the both of you off. She did a good job on Within You under your guidance; it’d be a shame not to utilize that obvious understanding you have to make the album shine.”
“Fuck off, Xane.”
“She’s our best chance at the moment. The truth is that we’re pretty toxic following recent events. Musical genius doesn’t entirely counteract the struggles the media have been reporting. And Iain properly fucked us with his antics. People think Ash is a druggy and they’re not interested in the truth. The sooner we can prove we still have it, the better. We can’t tour until Ash is well, but we can record. This album is fucking important, Spook, so start making your peace with those demons that are riding you, because we need Allegra Hutton. Now, the limo’s waiting. That’s what I actually came to tell you. I’ll expect you inside it in a minute or two.”
FIVE
Spook waited until Xane was gone, then he released his fly and gave his cock a cold dunking. It did fuck all besides get him wet, and drying the damn pole was pure agony. It strained every nerve he possessed not to give in to the promise of bliss each touch elicited, and to wedge his erection back into his pan
ts and zip up again instead.
Thankfully, it was only a short walk across the foyer to meet the waiting limousine and no one got in his way. There was a row of photographers outside, along with an assortment of screaming fans jammed behind crash barriers. However, Xane was waiting, his hand resting upon the top of the open limo door.
“Hurry it up,” he hollered, prompting Spook to attempt a half-hearted jog.
“That was quite a bit more than two minutes,” Xane complained, as Spook ducked his head and climbed into the vehicle.
“Wait, where is everyone?” he asked, expecting to find the bench seat full to bursting. Only one other person was present.
“In the other car,” Xane said, while he was still on the pavement. “See you at the hotel, and don’t worry, the in-cab camera is on.” He slammed the door.
“Xane!” Spook cursed, reaching for the door handle even as the locks snapped into place. He hammered on the glass, but the windows were tinted, and Xane probably couldn’t see him from the outside. Besides, the driver had already set the car in motion. “Xane, you utter wanker.” Being locked in a moving vehicle with her was not going to solve anything. “Fuck!” He sat back on the rear seat and banged his head hard against the headrest.
He saw her turn. A faint blush spread along her cheekbones as her gaze settled upon him. Had she been in on the ruse, or was she as surprised by this as him? “Fuck,” he yelled again for good measure, this time smashing his fist against the leather seat to save himself the headache.
“I assume this means you’re going to veto the possibility of me mixing any of the new album,” she said, eyes downcast in genuine disappointment.
Spook’s attention fastened upon her, the long arch of her neck, then the bright blue of her eyes, followed by the smattering of freckles across her nose that no amount of foundation could hide. It seemed mean to wreck the opportunity for her. He knew this was a huge deal. It would make her seriously hot property, but at the same time, he couldn’t have her around twenty-four hours a day, living in his house, because he’d be a nutcase by the end of the first day.
A relationship was out of the question, regardless of Xane’s thoughts on the subject. If he’d wanted that, he wouldn’t have spent the last few months avoiding her.
“Am I not good enough?” she asked quietly.
“You know that’s not the reason.” He pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to stop the massive headache that was building before it got a proper hold. “We can’t work together, Alle. You know we can’t.”
“Within You came out all right.”
“I’m not talking about the music.” Yes, Within You had come out well, that’s why they were in this position, with Graham banging on about her being the obvious choice.
“Then what are you saying?” She scooted sideways towards him along the long J-shaped bench. “What did I do wrong, Spook?”
“Nothing” he mumbled, refusing to meet her gaze. “You haven’t done anything.” Nothing besides getting under his skin, and he couldn’t punish or blame her for that. He shifted uncomfortably. His damn trousers were cutting him in half. He needed to release his zip and give his cock some breathing room. But he wasn’t about to do that in front of her, because hey, social niceties and all, plus, fuck knows where it would lead.
Actually, he knew only too well where it would lead, and it wasn’t somewhere he was ready to go, though he suspected she’d be only too willing.
“Then if I haven’t done anything wrong, tell me why you’re so damned determined to keep me at arm’s length?”
All he dared do was shake his head.
“You know, when you didn’t call, I blamed myself. I thought maybe I’d misread everything, and that I’d imagined the chemistry between us, but I didn’t force you into playing along, and I didn’t start what happened half an hour ago. I’ll admit I was a bit pushy, but it’s not like I got the thumbscrews out.”
No thumbscrews were needed. He’d fallen for her hook, line and sinker the moment she’d walked in the room.
She reached the end of the bench seat, and leaned forward, face full of determination. Her chin stubbornly lifted. “Spook, talk to me. I know you can feel the pull that exists between us, so why are you so determined not to explore it?”
He was too busy trying to concoct an answer to stop her hand settling upon his knee. More of those blasted fireworks she lit in him screamed through his nerve-endings. Thoroughly rattled, he strove for control by sitting rigidly. It might even have worked, if it weren’t for the noose of his underwear. His goddamned cock wanted nothing more than to stand up straight and say hello to her. Too bad, he had no intention of letting it.
“Talk to me, please. Just explain what’s going on.” Not content with the possession of his knee, Alle’s palm smoothed across the leg of his leathers towards his thigh.
Spook stared at her hand, itching to stop her. Anyone else he’d have stopped in a heartbeat, but with her, he couldn’t quite bring himself to do it. Damn her, couldn’t she see what she was doing to him? Maybe she could. Maybe that was the point.
“I’ve dreamed about you over these last few months,” she confessed, her voice barely more than a whisper. The tone, the breathiness of her voice, the low lover’s talk, all compounded his torment, making him doubly uncomfortable.
They couldn’t be lovers. He wouldn’t survive it.
His sanity depended upon strict adherence to a life of celibacy.
“I’ve replayed what we did so many times. It’s never felt like it did with you with anyone else. We could have so much fun together, Spook. I feel you understand me. You know my limits.”
“I know mine too.” They’d bypassed them quite some time ago. He reached for her hand, meaning to move it from his thigh. “Nothing else is going to happen between us, Alle. Best you just forget anything ever did.”
Just as he meant to close his grip around her wrist, she moved, scooting over to join him on the rear seat. “Is that what you’re doing, pretending it never happened? It happened, Spook; shall I remind you of the details? You upended me over your lap, bared my arse, and brought your hand down so hard it stung. It tingled like crazy, and I loved it. It made me so fucking horny. Better yet, you didn’t give in to me. You didn’t just go ahead and screw me like I begged you to, you made me masturbate for you.” She lowered her gaze, briefly, and then peeped up at him shyly from beneath her eyelashes. “I’ve never done that for a man, leastways, not so graphically, and not while he was taking pictures. You promised to show me those pictures.”
He had, hadn’t he? Somehow that fact had escaped his attention whenever he’d caught himself looking at them.
“I deleted them.”
“Really?” she asked.
He shook his head, unable to lie to her directly. ‘Just from the memory card. I still have copies, but not on my phone.’
‘Obviously, you’ll have to take some more, then.’
Spook shook his head a little harder.
“No, it’s OK. The driver can’t see us. Nor can anyone outside. I can lean over your lap, right here, no problem.”
He didn’t know if her skirt would lift up that far, and he didn’t intend to find out. “You’ll feel better once you’ve warmed my arse,” she insisted. “And a lot better once you’ve let this beast out of its cage.” Alle danced her fingertips over the front of his protruding fly, even went so far as to reach for the zip pull.
“Alle, stop it. We can’t.”
“Totally can. You’re a rock star. This is a limousine and I’m totally up for making all your fantasies come true.”
All of them? Goddammit, he believed her too. Maybe that’s why she was freaking him the fuck out. The first time they’d met had damn near caused a nuclear meltdown. He wasn’t sure he had the strength for a second clash.
“Stop this, Alle.”
“Only if you make me,” she retorted, challenging him. “If you want me to stop, then make me stop, because I don’t want or inte
nd to. I want to work with your band, and I want you, Spook Mortensen. So, unless you stop me, I’m going to get down on my hands and knees between your thighs and get you off. I think you’ll find using your brain for something other than fruitless denial a little easier once your dick’s at ease. He certainly wants me. Look how excited he is to see me. I bet the poor bugger hasn’t had any fun since the last time we met.”
Damn her. He gritted his teeth and watched, frozen as she slid open his belt buckle and attacked the button beneath. The teeth of his fly came apart of their own accord as his cock jerked in happiness over its release. Didn’t it just love the idea of her forming her mouth around it, or of her climbing astride his lap so it could burrow right into her pussy?
But that wasn’t who he was, or what he was about.
Like it cared.
“Alle,” he barked in warning.
Too late, she was holding him, cradling the head of his erection in her palm.
Fuck! He was putty in her hands, and she knew it.
“I mean it.” He reached out to push her away, but she shocked him by slapping his hand aside.
“You’ll have to try harder than that if you want me to believe this isn’t what you want. See, I’ve heard all about your legendary control, but I’ve yet to see much evidence of it. I figure that means one of two things. Either, it’s just a rumour, or, you’re really, really pleased to see me.” She cheekily leaned over and pressed a kiss to the tip of his nose. “Admit it, Spook. You want this. You want me to make you come.”
She was too close. Close enough to kiss. He wished he didn’t remember the taste of her quite so well. He’d hoped time would erode the memory. It hadn’t, and then she’d given him that little reminder up there on the stage in front of everybody while he was collecting the award, just to make things even harder.
She was making him harder.
“Don’t,” he groaned, but even he knew he didn’t mean it.
Was it wrong, him letting her massage his shaft like this, when he didn’t intend to let it go anywhere? Probably, but it felt so damned good.
BANGED: Rock Stars, Bad Boys & Dirty Deeds Page 87
