by Connie Mason
Across the table from Adam, Mac seethed inwardly with silent rage. How could Adam act such a perfect bastard with Alexa? If only he hadn’t promised Alexa he’d keep her secret. Mac chided himself, for if Adam continued to act in such a despicable manner Mac was uncertain how long he could hold his tongue. He itched to get Adam alone and give him a thorough tongue-lashing.
As things turned out Mac did not see Adam alone that night. After their prolonged dinner. Mac was pressed into escorting Lucy back to her lodging and once there the pert brunette had little difficulty persuading him to her bed. Mac was after all a virile man.
As for Fannie, she was more than happy to place herself in Adam’s care. Her body trembled with anticipation, and when they reached her rooms. Adam suddenly found himself reluctant to partake of what the lady so freely offered.
It was very late when Adam let himself into Ashley House. Grumbling loudly, he stumbled through the darkened house, found the stairs with great difficulty and climbed them cautiously. He paused before Alexa’s room, rattled the doorknob and cursed roundly when he found it locked. “Damn it, Alexa, let me in!”
Startled out of a deep sleep, it took Alexa several minutes to gain her wits. In the meantime the pounding continued. “Did you hear me, Alexa, open the door!”
“Go away, Adam,” Alexa shouted back. “Your room is at the end of the hall!”
“This is my room!”
“No it isn’t! What’s the matter, Adam, did you tire of your whore so soon?”
“Fannie has nothing to do with this. Let me in!”
“Go to hell!”
Fury nearly choked him as curses fell from his lips. “There’s no door strong enough to keep me out!”
Alexa froze, chillingly aware of his formidable strength when roused to anger. Still, she could not help calling out once more, “Go to hell!”
The angry retort hardened his features with determination as he began slamming his shoulder into the thick panel. Alexa heard rather than saw the lock begin to weaken. She leaned over and lit the lamp just as the door crashed open, and suddenly he loomed above her, his expression thunderous, his breath ragged with impotent rage.
Alexa paled, clutching the sheet about her throat, her own temper rising in response as she flashed him a look of defiance. Her accusing tone stabbed the air. “What are you trying to do, Adam? Humiliate me? Punish me? Well, you succeeded nicely by bringing your doxy into my home. But that doesn’t mean I am obliged to cringe before you and pretend to be the dutiful wife!”
God, she was magnificent. Adam conceded grudgingly. How could he ever think another woman could satisfy him? Alexa was his wife no matter what she did and he wanted her. Now!
Alexa watched, stunned, as his anger turned to lust before her eyes. “No!” she warned. “Stay away from me!”
He cupped her chin in his palm, forcing her face upward to meet his gaze. Then he halted her frantic words with his mouth as he fell heavily atop her reclining form. The feel of her sweet flesh against him released all the fury, all the anger that had gnawed at him for months. He held her head steady, forcing her to accept the punishment of his kiss. He pried her lips apart and thrust his tongue into her mouth, knowing he was bruising her soft lips, yet unwilling to stop.
She felt his manhood huge and hot against her belly through her thin nightgown, and she closed her eyes tightly. “I will hate you for this, Adam,” she whispered, gritting her teeth.
She heard his hissing breath. “The feeling is mutual!” he snarled, hating himself for his words as well as his complete loss of control. Unable to halt his course of retribution, he quickly tore off his clothes, reared up, pulling apart her thighs, and plunged into her unwilling body. He did not touch her with love as he wished to do, ignoring completely her pounding fists and cries of rage and pain. He grasped her hips and drew her upwards to impale her completely. He knew he was hurting her and wanted to fling himself away and beg her forgiveness. She screamed when he thrust brutally, spilling his seed into her. Then he jerked out of her and rolled off to the side, his breath heaving.
Alexa refused to cry: she was beyond tears. She felt degraded and used. Not even in their earliest times together did Adam treat her so shabbily, taking her in a hurtful manner with neither love nor compassion. In her heart she knew it was over between them. His actions just now proved he really did hate her.
Adam spoke, so low Alexa had to strain to hear him. When she understood what he was saying she could do little more than stare at him, mouth agape. “I’m sorry, my love. God, I didn’t mean to hurt you! I drank too much and when I returned to find you had locked me out I became like a wild man. I never meant to force you. Rape isn’t my way.”
“Why did you come back at all, Adam?” Alexa asked softly. “Your actions tonight made it perfectly clear that you preferred Fannie. Well, you’re welcome to her. She’s nothing but a cheap little tart who doesn’t know enough to keep her legs together. Was she unable to satisfy you. Adam? I know how demanding you can be,” she added sweetly.
“Damn it, Alexa. I didn’t bed Fannie tonight if that’s what you’re thinking.”
“No? You reek of her cheap perfume!”
“Who are you to talk, my love? You were Whitlaw’s mistress.”
“Never! I was never Charles’s mistress!”
Adam felt his anger build again. One minute he was ready to kill her and the next he wanted … Suddenly his anger dissolved as his need for her consumed him. He rolled toward her, taking her lips gently, seducing her with his tongue. He kissed her mouth, her wet eyelids, the tip of her nose. He slipped his hand between their bodies and let his fingers find her belly, pressing lower, teasing her, probing her gently.
“No,” Alexa moaned softly, but her body was straining against him as her resistance ebbed.
“You are moving against me. Alexa,” he breathed into her mouth. “You are growing moist and warm beneath my fingers and I feel you quivering with passion.”
“No! I won’t listen!”
“Feel how much I want you again,” he said, pressing her belly against his hard manhood, molding her soft hips against him. “I want to feel myself deep inside you.”
He kissed her breasts and she felt ripples of pleasure course through her. She writhed against him for relief, an ache beginning at the center of her femininity. Sensing her need, he slipped his knee between her thighs and pressed upward. Crying out, she moved against him wildly, by now far beyond herself.
He continued to kiss and suck at her nipples while his hands moved torturously between her legs and into her moist flesh. He removed his knee and knelt over her, savoring every part of her beautiful body. He lowered his head and began to nibble at her belly: her soft cries made him tremble with desire. He lifted her buttocks and her legs opened of their own accord, offering herself to him. He nuzzled and teased her with his tongue, wanting only to give her the greatest pleasure possible to make up for hurting her earlier. When he felt her stiffen on the verge of climax, he raised up, parted her and thrust his full length into her warm, moist body. Just as he was thrusting inside her, he captured her mouth, his tongue thrusting in the same manner.
Beside herself. Alexa wrapped her legs about him, bringing him deeper still, and Adam felt his control dissolve. He rode her boldly, and she met his every thrust until her body began to convulse with the painful pleasure and she was falling, swirling, merging with him into an abyss, possessing, being possessed. He heard her final cry, felt the tremendous shudder, and released the tenuous hold he had on reality.
* * *
Adam was gone when Alexa awoke and she experienced the same disappointment that she did all those other times when she had awakened to an empty bed, never certain if her husband would return to her. She was surprised, therefore, to find him not gone at all but in the dining room eating breakfast.
“Good morning,” he said cheerily. “Did you sleep well?” Alexa quirked a slim brow, trying to decide if he was being nasty or merely pleasant.
“Have you nothing to say, my love?”
“Adam, I fail to understand you.” Alexa finally said. “One minute you hate me and force yourself on me; the next you are making love to me as if … as if you meant it.”
“I always mean it when I make love to a desirable woman,” he replied blandly.
“You’re a fool Adam,” Alexa said softly. “I’ve never loved anyone but you.”
“I’d be the happiest man in the world if I could believe you, my love,” Adam replied, just as softly. Then he arose abruptly, afraid he had admitted too much, excused himself and left the house.
Alexa smiled mischievously at his departing back. Already she felt a softening in his attitude toward her. If they continued like this it wouldn’t be long before she could tell him about Davie. She missed her baby desperately and even considered spending a day in the country with him. In fact, the idea appealed to her so much Alexa did just that a few days later.
Adam seemed to be caught up during the next several days with his duties as a delegate on the peace treaty commission. He and Mac left early in the morning and returned at dinnertime. He treated her politely during the day and made love to her furiously during the night. He did not try to force her again. There was no need. To Alexa’s joy she felt him teetering on the brink of total capitulation and lived for the day she would have his love, completely.
It was during one of these busy days in Adam’s life that Alexa took herself off the country to see Davie. She spent so long playing with her baby, who had grown inches since she had last seen him, and filling in Maddy on all that had happened, that she was late getting home. At first Adam thought nothing of it, but Alexa’s flushed face and nervous manner soon aroused his curiosity and he began questioning her.
“Where have you been, my love?”
“Shopping,” she shrugged carelessly.
“Where are your packages?”
“Nothing took my fancy.”
“Are you certain you went shopping?”
“For God’s sake,” interjected Mac, nearly certain he knew where Alexa had gone. “Why the inquisition? Surely Alexa is free to come and go as she pleases.” Adam did not miss the grateful smile Alexa bestowed on Mac.
Adam eyed them both narrowly, his lips turned down sourly. “Are you trying to protect her, Mac? Is there something I should know?”
Mac flushed guiltily, loudly protesting Adam’s insane accusations. Giving Alexa a knowing look, he replied, “I don’t know what you are talking about.”
Glaring hostilely at Alexa. Adam asked pointedly. “Have you taken a lover?”
Alexa relaxed, laughter bubbling up from her throat. “I’m afraid you leave me little energy for a lover, Adam.” Her answer seemed to satisfy him—for the time being.
Two more times during the following weeks Adam returned home early to find Alexa gone, and once again he suspected her of taking a lover. In fact, he was so convinced she had that he perversely decided to punish her in a like manner.
Adam had not seen Fannie since he returned her to her lodgings that night he made the mistake of bringing her home to dinner. With Alexa now sharing his bed willingly he had grown far too satisfied and complacent, forgetting how she had left him to die. Once again allowing his hot head to rule his heart, Adam unwisely decided to teach Alexa a lesson by using Fannie as an instrument of his retaliation.
Meanwhile, Alexa knew that Adam was growing suspicious of her frequent absences but she couldn’t bear not seeing Davie for long periods of time. She realized that she would soon be forced to tell Adam about his son, and for some reason she no longer found that thought too painful. They had come a long way in the last few weeks and she felt he was beginning to trust her again, perhaps even to love her. And then something happened to change her whole way of thinking.
Alexa inadvertently learned that Adam was being unfaithful to her. That he was seeing Fannie again. Perhaps he never stopped seeing her all these weeks he made love to her as if she were the only woman in his life. She saw him by chance one afternoon as he was entering the theater where Fannie was performing. She was riding in her carriage and asked her coachman to pull off to the side of the road where she might wait and watch. About a half-hour later Adam reappeared with a beaming Fannie hanging on his arm. Alexa was devastated, but nevertheless made her presence known to the pair when she stepped out of the carriage to confront them.
“Alexa!” Adam said, secretly pleased to be found out so soon. He had thought only to squire Fannie around for awhile until Alexa got wind of it. Gossip traveled swiftly in London and he had no doubt that she would hear of his latest peccadillo from either Mac or one of the servants. “What are you doing here?”
“I could ask the same of you,” Alexa replied with a calmness she struggled to uphold.
“As you can see I’m calling on a … friend.”
“How nice for her,” Alexa replied sweetly.
“Jealous, my love?”
“No more than you,” she replied blithely.
With an enticing swish of her hips Alexa regained her carriage and without a backward glance directed the coachman forward.
“Damn!” cursed Adam, his face mottled.
“Don’t mind her, luv,” Fannie soothed. “Let’s go to my place. I’ll make you forget all about that insipid witch.”
“Insipid!” shouted Adam angrily. “Why that lady is more of a woman than you’ll ever hope to be. She’s proud, courageous, foolishly brave, and … and … magnificent!”
Suddenly Adam became aware that Fannie was staring at him, her mouth wide open. “My god,” he groaned, “what am I saying?” But it was too late to take it back even if he wanted to, which he didn’t. He meant every blessed word he said and he’d be damned if he’d let another man have her. Despite everything she was his alone and would remain his.
Grasping Fannie’s arm painfully he began pulling her along the street. “Where are you taking me?” she demanded to know.
“To your lodgings, unless there is some other place you’d rather go.”
“You’re going back to her.” Disgust colored her words. “I thought you couldn’t stand her!”
“That’s correct, Fannie. I am going back to my wife, and aye, there were times when I couldn’t bear to have her name spoken in my presence. But I never stopped loving her.”
“You were using me,” Fannie accused sulkily.
“I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt you.”
Fannie laughed mirthlessly. “Hurt? Don’t be an ass. I knew where I stood from the beginning. Women like me take their pleasure where and when they can and expect little in return. I enjoyed you, Adam, while it lasted, but the moment I saw your beautiful lady I knew there was little chance for me.”
“You’re a good sort. Fannie, and I admire your spirit. I sincerely apologize for using you,” Adam repeated. Then he reached in his pocket and handed her a sheath of bills. When Fannie made to refuse, Adam persisted. “You deserve it, my dear. If not for me you’d be free to pursue … er … other interests. I wish you well.”
Then he was gone. He and Alexa had much to make up for. He’d be ten kinds of a fool to stand idly by while another man stole the affections of the woman he loved more than his own life.
They had shared too much, traveled too far together to throw it all away.
24
Trembling with barely suppressed rage, Alexa returned home only minutes before an urgent message from Maddy was put into her hands by Ferdie, the coachman from her country estate. Davie was ill and she must come immediately. It took her less than half an hour to throw her clothes into a bag and tear out of Ashley House as if the devil himself was after her. She paused only long enough to tell Owen where she was going and why, cautioning him to tell no one, not even Adam whom the old man had come to admire. Then she was hurtling down the street with Ferdie whipping up the horses to a brisk trot.
Sometime later Adam entered Ashley House expecting to find Alexa there and was somewhat irritated to
learn the house was empty save for the servants. He sat down to wait, and as time passed and Alexa failed to return he began to worry, rising to pace anxiously back and forth, imagining all sorts of things. She might have been upset enough after seeing him with Fannie to leave him. God he was a fool!
Somehow the idea of Alexa leaving him took root in his brain and grew until he pictured her in the arms of another man, some faceless lover who made her cry out and beg to be loved. With those depressing thoughts riding him Adam rushed upstairs to their bedroom, cursing himself for not thinking to check there first. Flinging open the wardrobe. Adam groaned aloud when he noticed several of Alexa’s dresses were missing, just as he suspected. The drawers were equally bare of more intimate articles of clothing. He needed no other proof to concluded that Alexa had left him and he had no one to blame but himself!
Returning downstairs Adam sought to question Owen but learned next to nothing from the servant who had loyally served the Ashleys for many years. “Are you certain you have no idea where my wife could have gone?” Adam questioned, thoroughly disheartened.
Owen lowered his gray head, unwilling to look Adam in the eye as he told the lie Alexa demanded. His first loyalty lay with the Ashleys no matter how much he admired Lord Penwell. “No, my lord, she told me nothing save that she was leaving and would return in a few days.”
“Are you certain she said she’d return?” Adam asked sharply.
“Aye, my lord. I believe she intends to return.” Owen nodded sagely.
“That’s all, Owen,” said Adam, dropping dejectedly into a chair. “Wait, bring me a bottle.”
That’s where Mac found Adam when he returned to the house hours later. Only the bottle was empty and Adam was roaring drunk. “Adam, what in the hell happened?” Mac asked, shaking his head disgustedly. “Owen told me you’ve been sitting here for hours. He also hinted that you were ‘well into your cups,’ his exact words, I believe. Where is Alexa?”
