by Lucinda John
I gotta clean bad bitch.
Steal for me like Jackie-o,
Thug like Remy,
Keep that Henny with the coke up in it.
She push the range with her stunna shades.
From the hood so she love ta blaze… that purp.
Tattoo’s on her thighs wen she rock that skirt.
Every nigga in the club tryna get that chirp.
Use to sneak me thru the window back high skool.
So wen I fuck her
I don’t use no rubber
Me in her gutta gutta.
She steal with her nigga,
Slang that steel 4 her nigga,
Pop them pills with her nigga,
Gotta a grill like her nigga,
Sit…
Soakin’ wet 10 minutes fo’ I even touch her.
I ain’t gon’ lie
Tell my nigga
Fuck it I love her.”
Ralph rapped Lil Boosie’s “Gangsta Bitch” lyrics in my ears causing me to crack a smile.
“You still riding for a nigga?” he asked me with those puppy dog eyes.
“Let me find out,” was my reply. “You got one minute to go get your keys and shit or I’m out. If I leave and you ain’t behind me following, it’s a rap.”
“I gotchu bae,” he said running his tongue across my lips before grabbing my bottom lip in his mouth and sucking on it.
“You gon’ let me hit tonight.”
“Boy, go get your shit so we can go.”
I watched him walk in the house. Looking down at my watch, he had exactly one minute. I wasn’t playing with his ass. Jumping off my trunk, I was just about to get in my car and leave until the door swung open. Kandi’s bitch ass was hanging on his back begging him not to go.
“Ralph, how you gon leave your son for that hoe?” she asked.
“Kandi get the fuck off me!” he yelled trying to shake her off, but she had her arms wrapped tightly around him.
Pulling Nina from the back of my waist, I clicked it and placed the cold steel to her dome.
“Get the fuck off him or I’mma have your ass laid out,” I warned.
“So you gon’ let this bitch pull out a gun on me?” she asked still on his back.
“You think I’m playing? By the time I count to ten if you still hanging on my nigga, I’mma body your ass and that’s on my mama, rip!” I said with my finger on the trigger. “1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9…” Okay, this bitch wants to die.
Seeing how serious I was the, bitch hopped of Ralph’s back before I could get to ten.
“That’s what I thought! Bae lets go,” I said, placing the safety back on my gun and returning it to the small of my back.
I waited until Ralph got into his car and was about to walk to mine, until the bitch jumped on me. She yanked me by my twenty-four inch Peruvian weave that hung down my back. Thank God I got it sewed in, I thought as I regained my footing. This bitch made the mistake of letting me up because when she did I fucked her up.
I had my set-up like a nigga and I was coming for that hoe blow after blow. I ain’t even grabbed her hair or nothing. I ain’t have to; my hands was up-to-date and I knew how to scrap. I sent an uppercut to the bitch that had the bitch stumbling backwards and once she fell, I got on that bitch and started tagging her ass.
I was just about to reach for my gun and pistol whip this hoe when I felt strong arms grab me.
“Bae chill,” Ralph said in my ear as he carried me to his mom’s car.
I was so busy going in on that bitch that I didn’t even notice Terri pull up. Since Ralph’s brother was going to be moving down to Miami, Terri decided to stay so that she could rekindle their relationship. From what I understood, Ralph’s brother had ill feelings towards their mother for allowing their father to take custody of him without a fight.
“About time somebody tagged that hoe. I was about to put them paws on her ass for real,” Terri said getting ready to pull off.
“Hold on mama, I want Ralph’s ass to pull out first. I ain’t leaving him here with that bitch,” I fumed.
“I know that’s right!” she said turning the ignition off.
We sat and watched as Ralph emerged from the house with a car seat and a baby bag. Kandi was still lying on the ground like a damn fool. When Ralph passed by her with the baby, all hell broke loose.
“You ain’t going nowhere with my child! I swear to God I will report that you kidnapped him!!” she yelled jumping in Ralph’s face.
WHAM!
Ralph smacked her ass causing her to fly into the bushes. I jumped out the car with Nina in my hand ready to cause havoc. Terri’s ass was right behind me tying her inches that Honey sewed in for her, into a ponytail.
“Lisa, take your ass back to the car!” Ralph roared causing me to jump back, I’ve seen him mad but he was livid. His chest heaved up and down as he stood their clenching his jaw.
“Ralph baby, it ain’t worth it. Take your son and let’s go,” Terri softly said trying to calm him down.
I guess she knew the type of damage the look in his eyes could cause, and she wanted to put an end to it before it began. He never budged; he just stood there looking at her with fire burning in his eyes. Reaching for his phone, he dialed some number then tossed her the phone.
“You bad right? I dialed 9-1-1. All you gotta do is press that call button,” he spat. “That’s what I thought! Now I’mma take my son home with me until you recover from that ass whooping my girl laid on ya. If you send a fucking cop my way, that’s your ass!” he warned before getting in his car and driving off.
“You gon’ be good to drive home?” Terri asked me.
“Yeah mama, I’m good,” I said getting in my car and pulling off.
When I got home, Ralph was in the nursery that he had decorated for the baby. Giving them their privacy, I went to take a shower. It was after one in the morning and I had to be up by eight to get ready to close on this space for my dance studio.
Since I stopped dancing to be with Ralph, I had to find a new hustle. Although Ralph made sure all the bills were paid and that I stay laced in nothing but the finest, I still had to have something going for myself. I didn’t want to be one of those females who depended on a nigga for everything and ended up with nothing when that nigga decided to leave them.
Ralph always told me we were in this forever, but shit could change quickly, just like this bipolar ass Florida’s weather. I had to prepare myself for the worst at all times. Plus I needed to have dance incorporated in my life somehow.
My dance studio, Phenomenal Dancerz, was a dance studio for kids in the day and for adults at night. I wanted to have a competition team like the Dancing Dolls. I wanted to travel all around the world with my girls competing against other good teams. Since I wasn’t able to strip anymore, my adult class at night was able to fill the void I had from not being able to swing on a pole.
I was about to close my eyes when I felt a pair of hands in the waistband of my pajama bottoms.
“What I tell you about wearing shit like this in my bed?” Ralph sexily asked.
“Don’t want them on me? Take em’ off,” I challenged.
Taking me up on my offer, Ralph ripped my shorts off of me and lifted me so that my naked pussy was positioned on his hard dick. I began grinding on him causing him to suck in a deep breath. He lifted me up enough to slip his dick in me. I started slowly rocking back and forth before wildly bouncing on it like a pogo stick.
“Ma, slow down before you make me nut up.”
“That’s what I intend on doing,” I purred, turning around on his dick, bouncing on it with my back facing him.
He flipped me over so that my ass was up in the air then, rammed his dick in me.
“Ahhhh shit,” I cried out.
“Mm hmm, let this be a lesson. When I tell you to slow down you listen!” he said fucking the shit out of me.
The roughness had
me cumming in no time. Turning me over, he placed my legs on his shoulders and fucked me until we erupted together, messing up the sheets. Lifting me up, he laid my body on the ottoman bench that matched our bedroom set, while he changed the sheets. Once he was done, he wiped me off with a warm rag then laid my naked body in the bed.
“When you gon’ give me a baby?” He asked breaking the silence.
“You got too many kids running around Ralph, you shouldn’t be worried about anymore,” I honestly answered.
“I want one with the woman I love,” he said lifting my chin so that I was looking in his eyes.
“I’m not ready to be a mother yet.”
“Bullshit. I see you with my kids and you do a damn good job, so what’s really good?”
“I ain’t tryna be another baby mama.”
“You not, you’re my wife.”
“Correction, I’m your fiancé.”
“Same thing.”
“No it’s not! When I have kids I want to be able to share the same last name as them.”
“You will.”
Silence.
“So you gon’ stop taking them pills and give me a baby?” he asked pinching my titties.
“Yes, when we’ve been married for at least a year.”
“A year?”
“Yes a year. I want us to be good in our marriage before I start popping out babies.”
“The day you become my wife is the day you stop taking any form of birth control.”
“Says who?”
“Me!!” he snapped clenching his jaw. “Mm, keep fucking with me and I’mma flush them damn pills. Try to bring them things in my house while we married if you want to!”
“Did you forget my best friend was a head nurse?” I laughed.
“Why you playing with me?”
“Who’s playing Ralph?”
“Go to sleep before I pop you in the mouth.”
“I love you too bae,” I said snuggling close to him and closing my eyes.
Chapter 16
Lala
Dressed in a black and white maternity t-shirt dress with a pair of red flats on my feet, I waited for Lisa’s ass to come pick me up. We were supposed to go to the mall to do some last minute shopping for baby Amia. I was now eight months pregnant and ready for this baby to come out of me!
Lisa honked her horn. Kissing Anna on the cheeks, I grabbed my phone, keys, red Coach bag and was out the door.
“Took your ass long enough,” I said struggling to get the seat belt around my huge belly.
“Damn, your big ass gonna fuck around and break my shit,” she laughed.
“Fuck you!”
“You done did enough fucking, you got that belly to prove it,” she smirked. “You sure there’s only one baby in there?”
“Yes! I done did all types of ultrasounds, a 2D, 3D, 4D, you name it and they all say I’m carrying one very chubby baby girl.”
“Mm hmm, so what’s my god baby missing?” she asked pulling into the mall.
“Just a few knick knacks. Stacks ordered just about everything and had it delivered to the house.”
“Ump. So you’re really done with Stacks?”
“No…I mean yeah? Uhh, I don’t know,” I shrugged.
“Why don’t you just talk to the man? Work things out. Y’all love is too strong for all of this.”
“Not today Lisa, please we’re supposed to be shopping for the baby.”
“Okay, okay, okay. Well I hope your big ass can walk around this big ass mall ‘cause I ain’t got the strength to carry you. Fuck with me and I’mma be rolling your big belly ass around this bitch,” she said causing me to laugh. I swear there was never a dull moment when I was with my bestie.
We ripped through the mall buying everything I needed and then some. By the time we got to our tenth store, I was already tapping out. My feet were swollen and I was hungry as fuck. I was in the mood for some crab rangoons, so we decided to have lunch at the Cheesecake Factory.
Once the waiter seated us, she took our drink orders and brought us some bread. I was so hungry that I was fucking up the bread before it could even touch the table.
“Damn, slow down.”
“I’m too hungry man, damn; this little girl got me eating like a pig.”
“Nah, your ass just greedy, don’t be blaming it on my baby.”
“Whatever… OH MY FUCKING GOSH!” I said with my eyes glued to the door.
Lisa followed my eyes to the door and she immediately reached for her gun. Stacks was standing there with bags in his hands while that Staci chick was smiling all up in his face. I knew she was feeling him like that, but I didn’t expect for him to be entertaining her ass. I had to remind myself that we weren’t together or I’d be over there mopping the floor with her ass, pregnant or not.
“Let’s just go,” I said blinking back the tears.
No matter how much I ranted and raved saying I was done with Stacks, I wasn’t. I just needed him to suffer and understand that he couldn’t treat me any type of way. He was supposed to be feeling the pain losing me would cause, so that he wouldn’t fuck up anymore in the future. But I guess he got done waiting on me. He has clearly moved on if he was taking this bitch on shopping sprees, holding her bags and shit.
“Lala, you sure? Let me shoot the bitch in her knees one good time. I bet her fat ass a think twice about fucking around with the next bitch’s nigga.”
“It’s cool Lisa, that ain’t even my nigga so don’t sweat it. Let’s just go,” I said getting up and walking towards the back exit.
I was walking, practically running out of that building as if it was on fire. I didn’t stop until I made it to the car, and once I got inside my emotions got the best of me. I pulled out my phone to send him a four page text explaining how he wasn’t shit, but how could I? I didn’t want him. I told him it was over with. I was so confused my head was starting to pound.
No words needed to be said as Lisa held me in her arms. This was something she became accustomed to. She was my shoulder to cry on when James fucked up, now here I am in a new relationship that was supposed to be better, but I still needed that shoulder. Lisa didn’t judge me, urge me to leave Stacks, or even throw an ‘I told you so’ at me. All she did was hold me tight and allowed me to cry.
“You want to go to the Cheesecake Factory in Las Olas?” Lisa asked.
“Nah, I lost my appetite. Take me home please.”
“Lala, don’t do this; you are pregnant. You have to feed that baby.”
“Lisa, please just take me home.”
Without saying another word, Lisa put the car in drive and took me home. When we arrived, she helped me carry the bags to the baby’s fully furnished nursery. Since I wouldn’t allow Stacks to do it, he hired people to come in and fix up Amia’s room.
“You need me to stay with you?” she asked once everything was in place.
“Nah I’m good. I’mma go take a nap while the house is calm. Call you when I wake up.”
“You sure?”
“Yes Lisa,” I replied trying to crack a smile.
“Holla at me if you need me; me and Nina stay ready. I love you chick,” she said wrapping her arms around me.
“I love you too,” I replied, watching her leave.
When she was gone, I walked upstairs and peeked in the kid’s room. The twins were taking a nap and Anna was making some booties for Amia.
“You back already?” she asked acknowledging my presence.
“Yes, I was getting tired.”
“I left you some food in the oven if you’re hungry.”
“Thank you. I’mma eat it when I wake up from my nap,” I said walking out of the room.
“Lala?” Anna called out.
“Yes?” I replied poking my head in the door.
“Everything is going to be okay; pray about it baby. When life gets too hard to stand, get on your knees. God hears you,” she said wi
th a smile.
“Thank you.”
I walked in my room, closed the door shut, and turned on my radio. K. Michelle’s “Miss You, Goodbye” caused the tears to fall freely. I laid in bed hugging my body pillow as the powerful lyrics of the song spoke to my heart. K. Michelle was screaming she needed his love, the same way I needed Stacks. My head was telling me to let it go, but my heart was telling me to fight for our love. Damn. This song was so damn deep I had to put it on repeat.
I contemplated calling him, but every time I would build up the courage I would hang up the phone. I wonder if he was touching that bitch like he used to touch me. Did he rub her feet like he rubbed mine? Was he over there singing to her like he used to sing to me? So many unanswered questions flooded my mind as I went crazy trying to figure out if what they had was serious.
It took me seeing Stacks with another woman for me to realize that I wanted him to myself. Question was did he want me back? I wanted to call him and tell him to come home but I didn’t want to seem weak and desperate. I had so much emotions running through me that I didn’t know what to do with them.
My head began to pound so I went downstairs to put some food in my belly. Although the aroma of the meatloaf, mashed potatoes, and broccoli was very delightful, I couldn’t bring myself to eat it. I had to force myself to take a few bites just so I’d have something in my stomach. Throwing the food in the trash, I grabbed the Tylenol bottle and took two pills.
I was about to make my way to bed when gunshots were fired. My house was raided with bullets as I dropped down to the ground ducking for cover. I crawled behind the stairwell balled up, waiting for the shooting to cease. My heart began to pound when I heard my children cries.
Running up the stairs, I was hit in the leg by a bullet; however making sure my kids were okay was my number one priority, so I hopped my way to their room. When I walked inside, the room was empty and I began to panic until I hear faint cries from the closet. Opening the door, Anna was crouched down covering the twins with her body. She looked up at me and her face was wet with tears.
“OMG Lala, you’re bleeding,” she said looking down at my legs.
“Are you guys okay?” I asked ignoring her.
“Yeah, we’re fine.”
Climbing in the closet with them, we sat quietly and waited. Anna began to pray out loud for our safety and I joined her silently praying in my heart. While Stacks was out with his bitch I was trapped in the closet with his kids and a bullet hole in my leg.
