She pushed herself to a crouching position, and waited for her dizziness to pass. First, she'd check to make sure the boys were well, and offer her help to Avda again. If he refused, she'd return her attention to helping and comforting others.
The noises from the battle came closer. She rose to her feet, and saw a ball of men and swords and shield clashing. A blond head appeared and disappeared in the middle of melee. Her heart pounded harder. Praise heaven. He was alive. He was still alive.
A great thundering sound came from behind. She whirled around. Soldiers charged at a wall of men and shields. Herod and his broad-shouldered warriors didn't buckle. Their swords plunged, then re-emerged dripping blood.
Revolted and horrified, Lydia looked down at her feet and willed them forward, and stopped alongside the women from Herod's household. Kitra had said Herod's mother and sister didn't get along with Herod's espoused wife and future mother-in-law. But they were sitting close together now, comforting one another, providing a good example to the young, highborn girls huddled together around the borders of the enclosure.
Horses and mules shifted from foot to foot and flicked their tails. Lydia dodged the hind legs of one jittery donkey, then another. The foul smell of manure made her eyes water. Grateful the warhorses were penned separately, she quickened her pace and collided with someone. She swallowed a cry.
Avda caught her by the arms. "Where are you going?"
"I was worried about you and the boys."
"I was on my way to you, to ask a favor. Would you take Ori and Benjamin with you? They have witnessed too much already."
She peered past his shoulder at the line of bodies stretched out on the bloodstained ground. A stable boy was busy tending to a soldier with a wide gash across his upper thigh. Sickened, she squeezed her eyes closed. "Do you need help?"
"I'll manage here. Just, please, take the boys elsewhere."
Avda went to a blanketed corner and ushered the boys to her. Four-year-old Benjamin was sucking his thumb. Ori's chin wobbled as he worked to hold back his tears.
Avda squeezed their slim shoulders. "Take good care of Lydia," he said with a wink for her.
Lydia wanted to wrap the boys in her arms and never let go, but feared it would only make them more upset. She held her hands out. "Have I told you the story about a brave young shepherd who brought home a wolf pup?"
Benjamin’s thumb popped free. "Where'd he find the wolf?"
Lydia smiled and blinked back tears. "In a bear den, of all places, under the shadow of a tall mountain."
Benjamin put his small hand in hers, but Ori pressed up against his father.
She'd lost his trust and would have to work hard to gain it back. Her arm fell. "I could use your help finding a stash of honeyed nuts. I want to have some ready for Herod's soldiers."
Ori continued to hang back. Avda whispered something in boy's ear. Squaring his little shoulders, Ori crossed to them and took hold of Benjamin's hand.
Avda's eyes met hers. "You are a good woman."
"I will keep them safe." Honored to be trusted with his precious children's lives, she shuddered at the thought of failing him, or them.
Two soldiers appeared off to the right, dragging a bleeding man. Avda hurried to assist them.
Lydia led the boys away, peppering them with questions to distract them from the terrible cries coming from all directions. She reclaimed her spot next to the wagon wheel and put the boys to work searching for the honeyed nuts. They were successful too quickly, so she directed them to a blanket. The boys sat at her knees, waiting for the promised story.
A soldier's loud death scream came from close at hand, and several bodies crashed against the wagon that sheltered Mariamne, Cypros, and Kitra. The women screamed and scrambled away while the five hundred girls of the proposed harem shrieked and clutched each other. Ori and Benjamin scooted under Lydia's arms and huddled against her.
Nausea nearly overwhelmed her. The shouting and confusion plunged her into vivid memories of the day her family was attacked, the sheer terror of that day and this, clashing within her, froze her, mind and body. If Kadar and Herod couldn't hold off Hasmond's men, she'd be taken captive again, would be at the mercy of armed men who could do whatever they wanted to her. She slipped her hand under the blanket and pulled out the dagger.
A jubilant, victorious cry reverberated throughout the enclosure—a sign the battle had shifted in favor of one side or the other. The cacophony of swords clashing faded. Joyous hoots and hollers filled the air. Who had won? What if she was taken captive again, and found herself at the mercy of drunken soldiers delirious with victory? Men's hands pushing and pulling at her. Taking deep breaths, she gripped and re-gripped the dagger.
The wagons opposite her were pushed apart. Her heart pounded harder. Ori and Benjamin pressed closer to her, sobbing and trembling. Men poured through the opening. She wanted to cover her eyes and scream until it was over. She stood and shielded the boys.
Herod and Kadar's broad chests and muscled arms filled her vision. Relief nearly brought her to her knees. They'd won. Kadar was whole. Ori and Benjamin were safe.
Herod swept Mariamne up in his arms and kissed her soundly to rousing applause.
Kadar came to Lydia and tapped the point of the dagger clutched in her hands. "You don't need it now, my valkyrie."
Hands numb, she lowered the dagger. "What of Hasmond's army?"
"It was a total rout. They won't be back."
She longed for his embrace, to be held secure in his strong arms. "You should get some food and rest."
"Not yet. Our dead need must be buried and the injured tended to. Then we'll move on."
"Move on?" The monumental task of readying the caravan for travel seemed too exhausting to contemplate, never mind the actual doing of it.
"We need water. The next oasis is two hours away. Even if we didn't need water, the sun will soon fill this place with the stink of rot."
"But you said the dead would be buried."
"Our dead."
Another wave of nausea hit. She dropped the knife and covered her face with her hands, rocking slightly.
Kadar's warm breath pooled at the nape of her neck. "I hoped you'd never have to witness this kind of ugliness again."
The sound of his low, guttural voice soothed, just as it had when he rescued her six years ago and carried her away from the decimated rebel camp. Determined to resist the pull of the dark oblivion she'd escaped into last time, she lifted her chin and squared her shoulders. "What can I do to help?"
"Lydia," Ori said. He and young Benjamin took hold of her hands.
Kadar's eyes clouded, and he backed away. "You have these two boys and your little James to care for. That is enough."
Was it? A sadness filled her, grief for what might never be between them.
A deafening, exuberant cheer went up. The boys pulled her around so she faced the cause of excitement. Herod stood atop a boulder as he had earlier in the day. His white teeth gleamed under the bright sun. "I promised we would defeat our enemies and we did."
His followers trilled and yipped joyously. He sobered, and the people quieted. "Before you, and before the Lord, I make a vow." Hands held palms up and his eyes pointed heavenward, Herod's voice rang out. "I vow to rid Jerusalem of the Parthian invaders. And after I do, I will return to this place and build a grand monument to commemorate this great victory." Another roar of approval accompanied Herod as he stepped down from his stone throne to graciously accept and share the outpouring of praise and adulation.
Lydia realized she was smiling. A monument out here? They were in the middle of a vast wilderness. The promise was as brash as it was bold. A foreign army occupied Jerusalem. Herod was without home, position, or wealth. Yet he envisioned a time in the future where he would have the means and leisure to construct a shrine to memorialize this desert stand. The strange part was, she believed him, believed he could deliver on his outsized promises.
Avda appeared at her
elbow. She stiffened.
Kadar and Avda stared at each other over her head. Ori and Benjamin jumped with joy their words tumbling, one on top of the other’s, describing the night's dangers to their father.
Avda patted the boys' heads, quieting them, and met Lydia's eye. "How did you and my sons fare?"
She clasped her hands tightly. "You should be proud. They were very brave." Watching over Ori and Benjamin had been easy compared with what lay ahead. She needed to release Avda from his promise to marry her, but couldn't imagine finding a good time and place to proceed. He looked spent, yet he must have hours of work remaining ahead of him.
"We were good," Ori assured his father.
Benjamin stuck his thumb in his mouth and bobbed his head in agreement.
Kadar pointed his finger at Avda. "I was the one who sought Lydia out. I needed to see for myself she is well. Don't blame or punish her."
Avda straightened. "I don't need to be lectured on about how to treat Lydia."
"I'll be watching," Kadar warned.
Aware of the curious stares from nearby, Lydia's face heated. "Please don't argue."
Sparing her a final, sidelong glance, Kadar strode away.
Realizing she was staring after Kadar, Lydia forced herself to look into Avda's eyes. "Do you want me to watch the boys until you finish with your work?"
Avda exhaled heavily. "I will ask Rabbi Gabini's daughters to look after them." He took hold of his sons' hands. "Say good bye to Lydia and thank her for taking good care of you."
Ori turned his large brown eyes up to her. "Lydia, come with us."
She shook her head. "I can't."
Benjamin pulled his thumb out of his mouth. "I want to stay with Lydia."
Tears pricked at her eyes. She patted his small head. "I promised your father I would take care of the grand woman Cypros."
"I want Lydia," Benjamin sobbed.
Ori scrubbed his sleeve across his teary eyes. "Please, Father. We want to stay with Lydia."
Avda gave her a sad smile. "I knew they would love you."
"I'm sorry," she whispered. Hurting Avda and his boys was the last thing in the world she wanted.
Avda sighed. "The last day has been very trying. It wouldn't be wise to rush important decisions. For now... if it pleases you, I will leave Ori and Benjamin in your care. And when the caravan gets underway again, I hope you will continue the journey in my wagon."
She knelt and wrapped her arms around the boys’ small bodies. "When you are through with your work and have had time to eat and rest, we should talk."
Avda gave her a long look, then retreated.
Lydia kissed Ori and Benjamin on the head. Releasing Avda from his promise was for the best. But it would be far harder to do now.
CHAPTER 26
By noontime the next day the caravan had crossed into Idumea. Lydia was amazed at how quickly the mood had gone from desperate to festive. The news of Herod's unlikely victory spread like wildfire, drawing hundreds of supporters along the way, swelling their ranks threefold as entire families and small villages chose to throw in their lot with Antipater's sons.
Lydia half-listened to Kitra, who had asked to ride in Avda's cart. Giddy and lively, the almond-eyed beauty could talk of nothing but the young soldier she'd taken a fancy to. The boys were seated with Avda, going over their daily lessons.
Lydia wished she'd resisted when Avda had summoned her and the boys to the wagon. But with no time to talk matters over, they were carrying on as if nothing was amiss. Her only recourse now was to wait for a better time and place to press the matter.
She tensed at the sound of clopping hooves and creaking leather approaching. Herod rode by in the company of his inner circle of confidantes. Kadar's golden-yellow head towered over the darker, smaller men. His blue eyes were trained on her.
Kitra leaned closer, and her voice dropped to a conspiratorial whisper. "If I were you, I'd ask the barbarian to convert. He would do it for you."
"To what purpose?" Lydia snapped, her face heating. She glanced up. Avda and his sons were busy chatting.
Kitra smiled slyly. "So you could marry."
Lydia winced. "Marry? My family would never consent."
"You have left your family behind. Who or what is to keep you from taking what you want? And don't tell me you don't want Kadar."
"But the marriage wouldn't be legal."
"Says who? If Herod can raise an army, and oust Hasmond and the Parthians, he will reign supreme in Jerusalem. Herod will decide what is legal."
Lydia's heart beat faster. Kitra's suggestion wasn't nonsense. Herod's escape from Jerusalem, the flight across the wilderness, and their successful stand against Hasmond's army changed everything.
But what if Herod couldn't raise an army? What then? He would be an exile. If he wasn't caught or killed. What about her? If her father's side prevailed, she would most likely end up back in her father's power. The thought of facing her father after defying him in such a glorious fashion chilled her. The other alternative would be to go into hiding. Kadar would help her escape if she asked.
Kitra looped her arm around Lydia's elbow. "My aunt and cousins like the idea of a marriage between you and Physician Hama, but not me. Tell me you will choose Kadar."
"You make it sound like a contest."
Kitra made a purring noise. "A battle I would thoroughly exploit if I were in your place."
"Physician Hama is a devout Jew and a good, good man," Lydia said.
"But you don't love Hama."
"Shhh," Lydia said putting her finger to her lips and checking over her shoulder. But Avda was busy schooling the boys in the Law of Moses.
"You love Kadar," Kitra whispered.
"It's hopeless. Kadar would have to give up his gods for the one true God."
Kitra pouted her red lips. "He would do it for you."
"But belief should come from the heart. I don't want Kadar to convert to please me."
"My mother says a clever woman uses her charms to influence a man's heart. Aunt Cypros put away her idols to marry Antipater. And I will do the same when I am betrothed." Kitra sighed. "Herod had high hopes your brother and I would marry."
Lydia groaned. This explained Kitra's friendliness. "Is James aware of that?"
Kitra nodded and smiled her beguiling best.
Heaven help James. He'd be doomed if this sneaky temptress ever sank her claws into him. Lydia brushed at the dirt staining her tunic and worked to regain her composure. "I would never ask Kadar to forsake his gods for me. I'd want him to convert for the sake of his beliefs, and not as a mere convenience."
"If you won't have him, I know someone who will."
Lydia's stomach soured. "Who?"
"My cousin. She talks nonstop about the blue-eyed barbarian."
Lydia remembered the girl. Beautiful and exotic like Kitra, she was also twice as flirtatious. Lydia wanted to protest, but she had no right. Kadar wasn't hers.
Kitra crawled to the end of the cart, hopped off, and raced back to her own carriage.
Avda turned and smiled back at Lydia. "There's a girl on a mission. What did you say to her?"
Lydia swallowed her misery. "If Kitra asks to ride with us again, please say no."
"What's the matter, Lydia?" Benjamin asked. "Are you hurt?"
She shook her head, even as she ached with longing for Kadar. "I'm tired."
Concern clouded Avda's face. "We will reach En Gedi within the hour. Try to rest."
Desperate to escape scrutiny, she lay down on the bed of blankets the boys had abandoned and pulled a cover over her head. Sorrow engulfed her. A tight ball of pain twisted in her belly from trying to hide her grief at thought of another woman with Kadar. She bunched her hands in the blankets and stuffed a bit of the rough wool into her mouth to stifle her sobs.
Kitra's words played and replayed through her mind. If I were you, I'd ask the barbarian to convert. He would do it for you. Who or what is to keep you from taking what you
want? Herod will decide what is legal.
The idea was tempting. Very, very tempting. But it would make Lydia no better than Kitra.
Except Kitra had been correct about one thing—the flight from Jerusalem changed everything. Marrying Kadar wasn't totally out of the question, if he was willing to put away his gods.
Listen to her! Would she put aside the Lord God of Israel if Kadar asked?
No. No she wouldn't. She couldn’t.
She believed the words of the Law and the prophets. The Lord of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob was the one true God. And no one and nothing would dissuade her from her belief.
It was hopeless.
Unless.
Dare she?
She spit the blanket out of her mouth and took a deep breath. She would go to Kadar and tell him she loved him and wanted be his woman. He loved her. She was sure he did. Together they would find a way to make it work.
But first she must speak to Avda.
***
Near sunset the bloated caravan ground to halt outside the dusty village of En Gedi, sheltered by the foothill of the stark mountain plateau of Masada. Herod's brother Joseph, accompanied by his family and two hundred soldiers, received them with much relief and affection.
Herod, Joseph, and Pheroras retreated into a swayback-roofed inn, inviting their closest aides to join them. Kadar and Obodas took a seat on the end of a rickety bench. Antipater's three sons sat on the other side of the scarred plank table. Their father would be proud of the hard fight they were waging to save the family's fortunes. But the task was scarcely begun. Kadar was eager to hear what they planned to do next.
His smile fading, Herod put his arms around Joseph and Pheroras's shoulders. "Phasael should be here."
A wilder, untamed version of Herod, Joseph scratched his scruffy beard. "Hasmond's men had better not touch one hair on Phasael's head, or I swear I will cut the mealy-mouthed man up and feed his worthless remains to my dogs.
Pheroras winced. "Herod warned Phasael it was a trap, but he insisted on joining High Priest Hycranus in negotiating with the Parthians."
"Talk never did any good," Joseph growled. "I say we regroup and strike back at Hasmond immediately, and we hit him hard."
The Barbarian (The Herod Chronicles Book 2) Page 21
