by May Dawson
“But she’s not really dead,” I said. “Mr. Joseph said he restored her body.”
“Mr. Joseph said,” Ryker said, and when he said it in that deadpan tone of voice, it sounded completely preposterous. Like I was being stupid and naive.
“It’s my sister. Of course I want to try to bring her back to life.”
“Yeah, of course you do.” Ryker said. His eyes on me were soft and understanding. “But you can’t.”
“The hell I can’t,” I said. “Look, we’re going into the Far anyway to free my sister, right? So why not just give Mr. Jacob what he wants? One step further.”
“One step further. So what happens when your sister comes back all wrapped-up in a demon because instead of sending her through heaven’s gates, you stuffed her—and a bit of Hell—into a body?”
“We’ll have to make sure that doesn’t happen.”
Levi ran his hand through his hair. “Ellis, I know this is hard. But what Mr. Joseph told you, it’s impossible. It’s nothing but a lie.”
“So is it a lie or is it a bad idea?” I asked tartly, looking back and forth between them. “You have to pick one.”
“Ellis, we’d like to bring your dead sister back to you,” Ryker said, his voice rough. “But we can’t.”
“Well, maybe I can,” I said. “There’s different technology to keep people alive than there was in sixteen centuries of lore.”
Levi held up his hand, as if to break into the heated argument shaping up between Ryker and me. “What we can do for sure, Ellis, is to get a Hunter protection detail on your mom. Hunters will stay close. The Company won’t get the chance to hurt her.”
Some of my fight ebbed away. “Thank you.”
Levi nodded. “It must have been so hard for you, thinking that if you made a mistake, your mother would be killed.”
Ryker glanced away, as if Levi had reminded him that he couldn’t just be angry with me for having kept a secret from them. I had done my best with an impossible situation.
“Your mom will be safe,” Levi promised me.
“Why do you think my sister would come back with a demon?” I asked.
“Because that’s how it works,” Ryker said. “Demons search the Far for people they can take to Hell. But the thing they really love is getting a ride back here. Vaults them right up the demon pecking order, because usually, demons can’t touch our world. But in a human body, they can do incredible damage.”
“Don’t you do exorcisms for a living?” I asked.
Levi ran his hand through his hair; even the coolest of the three boys was starting to come unglued.
“We could try it,” Jacob said. “We could run an exorcism before she’s even back in her body. If we can get control of the body.”
I stared at him, my lips parting slightly.
“What the hell,” Ryker said.
“I’m just saying that perhaps it isn’t a completely idiotic idea.” Jacob made a see-saw motion with his hand. “It’s a mildly idiotic idea. But where’s the harm in trying?”
“Besides the potential to unleash a murderous demon on an unsuspecting world?” Ryker said.
“Yeah, besides that. Which we would stop.”
“It can’t hurt to try,” I said. “If my sister doesn’t end up alive again, then she’s not any worse off.”
“She could be a whole lot worse off. Sending that demon ride-along back to Hell could mean sending your sister with it,” Ryker said, his voice harsh.
“Ryker,” Levi broke in. He took my hand in his, squeezing my fingers gently. I looked to Levi for support, but he said kindly, “It’s not a good idea, Ellis. Even if we got your sister back here without a tag-a-long from Hell, most likely, the Company doesn’t really have your sister’s body, or if they do, it’s not in any shape for her spirit to return to.”
“Then she dies,” I said. “At least maybe I’ll get to say goodbye. I don’t even know what happened the night she died.”
Ryker shook his head.
“What?” I demanded.
“The answer’s no, Ellis,” Ryker said, his voice low and husky. “We protect your mother. We make sure your sister makes it to Heaven. And that’s the end of it.”
“You’re not in charge, last I checked,” I said.
Ryker stared back at me. His deep blue eyes were full of anger as well as sympathy, and a muscle twitched in his high-boned cheek, as if he were holding himself back from what he wanted to say to me.
It was Levi who said, “Do you remember when I said I’d protect you whether you like it or not?”
I turned my gaze to him. Unlike Ryker, his green eyes were sad.
“No,” Levi said, his voice firm and clear.
I pulled my hand away from him, crossing my arms over my chest, and looked towards Jacob. He had been, unexpectedly, my only ally in this fight. I would have expected Ryker and Levi to embrace the chance to bring my sister back to life.
Jacob hesitated, then shrugged. “I’m sorry, Princess.”
“I thought that I was the Lilith,” I said, my voice coming out ragged. “And that we were a team.”
“Yeah, we are a team,” Ryker said. “That’s why we’ll keep you from doing something stupid until you learn how to be the Lilith and be part of the team.”
I was about to lose it in front of the three of them. I turned, getting up on one knee, desperate to flee.
“No!” Ryker said, grabbing my wrist. He yanked me back before I could push open the tarp to slip out of the floor. Behind me, I heard Jacob chant in Latin, and the world shimmered. I closed my eyes as the cold washed over me.
I opened my eyes into a dimmer world, shivering, and plunged out into the woods. I ran past the stone grave and back to the trail. The boys called after me, but I didn’t stop, running desperately for the house.
This time, the cold that had settled in my bones when we passed back into our dimension seemed to stay with me.
11
When someone knocked on my bedroom door, I called out, “No thanks.”
I didn’t want to talk. Not to any of them.
“It’s Olivia.”
I jumped to my feet in surprise at hearing a soft, feminine voice. Then I sat back down on the bed. The bed that I hadn’t slept in once since I arrived at the house. The boys had offered me this room as my own, but I didn’t want to sleep alone. It was still made up the same way it had been when I arrived. Well, tonight might be the night I finally got to know my own bed.
“Come on in,” I said, leaning back with my hands braced on the quilt. I didn’t want to look like I was too excited to see Olivia. Truth be told, I needed someone to talk to. Three lovers, or two lovers and whatever the hell Jacob was, that was fine. But I needed someone to be a friend.
Of course, I didn’t know if Olivia was interested in being my friend, but maybe it was a good sign she was here.
The door creaked open, and she stuck her head in; her red hair was piled up on top of her head in a mussy bun, and she had a pencil stuck behind her ear.
“You are rocking the geek chic,” I told her. She did look seriously adorable. “Did the guys send you to talk sense into me?”
She shut the door softly behind her. “They called me in to look for Ash.”
“Oh,” I said.
“And to keep you company for a little while. They’re all busy—it takes coordination to get a whole team of Hunters set up. They’ll keep an eye on your mom twenty-four-seven.”
I nodded, feeling vaguely disarmed by the way they were caring for me even though we’d just fought. I didn’t like the feeling. I still wanted to be sure that I got what I wanted, and not what they thought was best for me.
She ran her hand over the top of the chair pushed into the desk in the corner. “Do you mind if I…”
“Go ahead.” I hadn’t sat at the desk yet either. It felt like I was either training, or parked at the dining room table reading those books full of tiny text. If I wasn’t with one of the boys.
She sat down, but then didn’t seem to know what to say. “Are you okay?”
“Not really,” I said evenly, although I felt guilty for not just saying yes. It was a lie, but it was polite. “I have a chance to save my sister. Who wouldn’t want to take that?”
She nodded.
The silence between us stretched out awkwardly.
Since she hadn’t answered the could-you-skip-saving-a-blood-relative question, I decided to lob an easier question her way. I was really desperate for that best friendship.
“Are they mad at me?” I asked.
The silence stretched out again. I got up from the bed and wandered over to the window, pushing aside the curtains. I casually contemplated hurling myself out onto the roof. I hated awkward social situations. Even if I was making this one awkward myself. I should’ve just stuck with my original no thank you.
“They’re not mad,” she said. “They’re worried about you.”
“Yeah.” I rested my forehead on the cool glass. They should be.
“They’d do anything for each other,” she said. “I think they get it.”
“Funny,” I said. “I thought they’d do anything for me.”
“You know what I mean.”
“No, Olivia, I don’t know what you mean. I’ve known them for less than two weeks. But there’s supposed to be this thing that bonds us, and now I need them, and they’re like, mm, rather not.”
“They wish they could,” she said. She started to say something more, and then stopped abruptly. “I mean, it really is dangerous to try to bring your sister back. Even if Mr. Jospeph isn’t lying. Which he probably is.”
“What were you going to say first?”
“That I bet they would do something stupid like you want to, to save each other,” she said drily. “But they’re protective of you.”
“They’re bossy.”
“That too.”
I traced my finger along the panes of glass in the window; someone had painted the trim sloppily, and there was white paint on the glass itself. “Do you have a crush on Jacob?”
“Excuse me?”
“I’m just curious.”
For a second, I expected her to tell me—just like her crush had—that I had no call to be curious. But she didn’t answer me.
I turned my back to the window. “Do you want to be friends, Olivia?”
“Um,” she said. She put her hands in her pockets.
She was so chatty in front of her computer, telling us everything she dug out of other people’s emails and hard drives, but now that we were talking about feelings, it was like pulling teeth.
I started to smile. “So none of you Hunters talk about your feelings, huh?”
She smiled faintly. “Not if we can help it.”
“So you must have been thrilled to get sent up here to do the girl-bonding-emotional-thing?” I pointed between the two of us.
“Technically,” she said, “We’re both over the age of eighteen. A sociologist would describe us as women.”
I crinkled my nose at her. “I feel like a girl.”
She tucked a wayward strand of hair behind her ear. I guessed she didn’t feel like a girl, because she didn’t say anything.
“Okay. So you’re going to find Ash?” I said. Focus on the things that Olivia was willing to talk about: the work.
“I am,” she said, and sure enough, her amber eyes lit up. “Once we’re done here, I’m going to start running my computer program that will sort through possible Company locations and—”
She slipped into technobabble. I nodded, although I could practically feel my eyes glaze over. Olivia was very sweet, and I was glad she was on our side with all her technical expertise, but good lord. Know your audience. I was having a hard enough time mastering spells and symbols; I wasn’t ready for phantom search criteria and grid usage discrepancies.
“Okay,” I said. “Well, I’m glad you’re on the case. Thanks for letting me know the plan.”
She hesitated. I could almost feel her desire to flee the room; I could imagine her turning on her heel and running back out through the door. “Can you come downstairs so we can all talk?”
“What about?”
“What we’re going to do next?”
“I thought that was it,” I said. “Protect my mom, find my sister’s body, let her die for the final time.”
“Ellis,” she said softly. “They’re not killing your sister. What you want to do is impossible.”
I shook my head.
“You should trust them. They’re a good bunch of Hunters. They’re the good guys.”
“I know,” I said.
“Come down and talk,” she said. “It will make things better.”
“I need some time.”
“You don’t have some time,” she said. “Duncan—their father—wants Ryker and Levi to join him for this vamp nest. And they think he might have some idea who the Fourth is, so they want to go help him. You can’t just let them go without saying goodbye.”
I turned back to the window. The distant pines seemed to shake in the breeze, their long, slender trunks shivering, as if the summer air wasn’t warm enough for them.
The quiet stretched awkwardly between us again; I wondered how she liked it now that she wasn’t the only one being subjected to painful silence.
She took a step back, her heel bumping the door, and turned the crystal knob in her hand. But she stopped there, with the door cracked open, and her chin took on a stubborn tilt.
“If you think it’s okay to let someone you love go without saying goodbye,” she said, “then you have a lot to learn about what it means to live in a Hunter’s world.”
I stayed in the silence of my room for a while, but I’ve never been built for brooding. Especially in a room with little to offer but four walls, a comfortable bed, and a view of trees. I needed a distraction or I was going to go out of my mind, worrying about my sister. I couldn’t stop replaying the conversation with the boys and imagining how I could have made my case better. I should have been able to win them over. But now that they’d said no together, I’d have to convince each of them individually. And I couldn’t hope to do that until Ryker and Levi came home. So all I was doing was chewing my lip and obsessing and not helping a damn thing. But I also couldn’t go downstairs and pretend everything was fine and normal. They had hurt me, and I didn’t want to be around them right now. There was no way I could hold my tongue.
But I could at least go raid Jacob’s library. I didn’t have to be bored while I sulked.
I slipped out of my bedroom, closing the door softly behind me, and headed down the hall. But before I could reach Jacob’s room, I heard the low, husky murmur of boys’ voices—a sound that normally made my heart leap—and I jumped for the nearest door.
But Jacob’s doorknob didn’t turn in my hand. So I leaned against the door as the boys reached the top of the stairs and turned the corner, trying to look innocent.
“What the hell are you doing?” Jacob asked.
So much for innocent.
He brushed against me, wrapping his hand around the doorknob, and I looked for him to have a key. Instead, he muttered, “Reserare.”
“Why do you lock your doors here?” I asked.
“Why do you know my door was locked?” He made a finger gun that he pointed at me with a flourish. “And that is why, Princess.”
Levi stuffed his hands into his pockets. “Can we talk?”
Jacob closed the bedroom door on me before I could follow him in.
I rapped on the door. Hard. There was a long silence. Levi regarded me steadily, leaning his shoulder against the wall, his hands in his pockets. I felt my cheeks prickle with a blush for ignoring him. Levi didn’t deserve to be treated meanly, no matter how hurt I felt, but I had nothing to say to him now.
Then Jacob swung the door open. I could hear his impatient sigh under his breath. “What?”
“I just wanted a book to read. I thought you could
probably manage to give one up for a while.”
“Did you finish the Verses?” Jacob asked.
I popped my hands onto my hips. “I need an escape.”
He shook his head. “Nope, that’s not what you need.”
“Ellis,” Levi said. “Ryker and I are leaving for a few days. Going to see what Dad knows.”
“Olivia told me.”
“You want to come say goodbye?” he asked. “Ryker’s already got his stuff in the Jeep. We want to get moving.”
It seemed cold to tell him no to his face.
Jacob rested his forehead on the door, which he still held half-open, his tall body blocking me from slipping in. “You should say goodbye,” he mouthed. From that angle, Levi couldn’t see him.
“Why just you two?” I asked. “Didn’t bad things happen the last time you guys split up?”
“Dad’s kind of a recluse,” Levi said. “He might be more willing to talk if it’s just us.”
I glanced towards Jacob. I wondered what his relationship had been like with his step-father, how well he’d known Duncan.
Jacob half-shrugged in response to my questioning look.
There were feet on the stairs. I threw my head back, rolling my eyes to the ceiling. I should have stayed in my room.
Ryker stood behind Levi, his arms crossed over his powerful chest. Olivia was right on his heels.
“Let’s roll,” Ryker said impatiently.
“I wanted to talk to Ellis first.”
Ryker’s blue eyes met mine, bright even in the dim light of the crowded hall. “Give her space to cool off. It’ll be all right.”
I crossed my arms over my chest.
Jacob banged his forehead into the door a few times.
“What?” Levi asked impatiently.
“I have a reason not to know how to human,” Jacob said. “I don’t know what’s wrong with the rest of you.”
Levi stared at me, his frown crinkling his brows above his handsome face. I tried to ignore him, despite the way I could feel his concerned gaze, as he said, “I don’t know about leaving Ellis like this.”
“I’ll keep her out of trouble,” Jacob promised.
I snorted and crossed my arms over my chest, a second before I realized I was doing a pretty good, unintentional imitation of Jacob. “Good luck.”
