by May Dawson
“But you aren’t mad?”
He rested his jaw on top of my head, even though he had to hunch over to wrap me up like this. “I was never mad so much as freaking terrified. But for men, that usually plays like mad. What would I do if you got yourself killed?”
“You guys could go back to life like normal?” Jacob had found his brothers the year before, and the three of them had begun to build a life together as Hunters. I still felt like an interloper in some ways, disturbing the fragile bond that had grown between them.
“Life without you wasn’t normal,” he said. “We always missed you.”
Levi’s cell began to ring. He reached into his pocket and turned it off as I grinned. There was something funny about our sweet, tender moment being interrupted by his ring tone, which—unexpectedly—was the Scooby Doo theme song.
“Sorry about that,” he said. “Where were we?”
“Making up,” I said. “And I was about to try to seduce you.”
“That’s one way to make up,” he said, just as his phone started going off again. He sighed as he turned it off. “That’s Ryker. Probably wants to make sure I didn’t abscond with you like Jacob did.”
“I thought you guys didn’t get jealous.”
“We’re not superhuman,” he said.
“You actually are,” I disagreed.
The phone went off again, and he said, “Okay, give me a second,” just as I said, “Put the boy’s mind to rest.”
He pulled the phone out and put it to his ear. “Hey. What?”
He listened for just a few seconds, his expression changing from irritated to worried. He reached out and grabbed my wrist, pulling me with him. He started to run back for the house, and I followed close on his heels.
Something awful had happened. Again.
I thought of Nimshi, locked pacing in that cell, of Ryker guarding him and Jacob going downstairs to study and prepare, and I hoped all my boys were still alive.
30
Levi practically jumped down the stairs to the basement ahead of me, and I ran down behind him as he turned the corner. Jacob was on the ground, his knees bent up, and my heart froze before I saw him groan and push Ryker away.
“Would you stop mother-henning me?” Jacob demanded, shooing Ryker off. “I’m fine.”
Ryker glanced up at us from where he knelt next to Jacob. “Somehow Nimshi beat the wards. He shouldn’t have been able to spell his way out of there…”
“Maybe we don’t know everything about demon magic,” Levi said.
Jacob groaned and turned over onto his knees, pushing himself up to his feet. “God, my head hurts. He had his back to me when I got down here. He turned around and there was this flash. Last thing I remember. His stupid grinning face.”
“He could’ve taken anything,” Levi said. He turned and ran out of the room, and I could hear books moving as he conducted a frantic inventory in the office next door.
“Hopefully he was too busy running for his life,” Ryker said grimly. “As well he should.”
“You can’t kill him,” I said.
“He’s not my brother after what he did to you and Jacob,” Ryker said.
“What he did to me? Don’t kill him on my account,” I said.
“Stop bossing me, woman,” Ryker said, standing to his feet. “You don’t understand how our world works. Haven’t you done enough?”
I stared back at him. His jaw was set and his deep green eyes were fiery. There was no way in hell I was apologizing to him now.
“That’s fine,” Jacob muttered. “Me and my magical concussion will just show ourselves out.”
I gave Jacob a wide-eyed, pleading look, but he met my gaze evenly and then limped into the office. Okay. He was not a clear vote on not-murdering-Nimshi.
“Wouldn’t you have escaped in his place if you could? Would you really hang around?”
“I should’ve killed him before we even left the building,” Ryker groused. “He didn’t deserve to live after hurting you.”
“That’s my call to make, isn’t it?”
“You making that call for Jacob, too? You said it yourself, Jacob took the worst of it protecting you.”
I felt the flush burning my cheeks. “Samael would’ve just bled us out. That was his plan, to kill us then. Maybe Nimshi was stalling for time.”
“Do you hear yourself?” Ryker asked. “Did the curse eat your brain, Firestarter? You can’t stand up for him.”
I crossed my arms over my chest, mirroring his angry posture. “I’m not standing up for him. I just want to understand what’s going on before we do any killing.”
“He’s not redeemable!” Ryker exploded.
“Don’t yell at me!”
Ryker ran his hand through his hair, his expression exasperated. But his tone was calmer when he asked, “How can you not see this?”
“I’m not saying he is redeemable. I’m just saying, wait.”
“Wait until he brings a demon horde to our house? Our refuge?”
“Did I ever say that was my plan?” I demanded. “You’re being a real jerk right now, Ryker.”
“Fine,” he said. “Maybe it takes being a jerk to wake you up. You don’t know anything about our world, but you decide on your own you’re going to do whatever you want. Break the spell that binds us. Walk into a wizard’s apothecary. Take the side of demons.”
There was nothing to say to that, so I swiveled on my heel and turned to walk out of the room. I could feel Ryker’s presence bristling behind me, unwilling to let the fight go. Of course that was Ryker. He’d never let a fight go.
Levi stood in the doorway, blocking my escape. “He took Parrish’s laptop.”
“Great,” Ryker ground out. “Now he could make an alliance with the Company. Stuff a demon into a Lilith’s body, that’ll make things fun.”
Ryker ran his hand through his hair again. He was going to make himself bald at this rate.
“We’ll find him,” Levi promised.
I hoped they wouldn’t.
Run far and run fast, Nimshi.
And don’t make me regret trying to keep you alive.
I didn’t know what to do with my restless irritation over fighting with Ryker. The boys busied themselves preparing for war. Their go-to reaction, I supposed. They warded the house over again while one of them kept watch over the security systems, and suddenly every one of them carried their swords sheathed on their backs and a 9mm holstered in their own house.
I, on the other hand, busied myself making cinnamon buns.
I didn’t know what else to do with myself. I couldn’t focus to read. I was banging around in the kitchen, looking for something to eat. Ryker and Levi clearly had not taken a break from trying to find and save me and Jacob to grocery shop; the fridge was barren except for greens that had turned dark and drippy, condiments, and a package of bologna. I stared at the bologna, a reminder of better days when Ryker wasn’t annoying the hell out of me. Then I closed the fridge door and noticed the old spiral-bound cookbook propped up between the fridge and the pathetically empty cookie jar. I flipped it open and found note-cards of hand-written recipes. Sloppily written, of course. None of the Alexanders had neat handwriting.
But I could scrounge up the ingredients for cinnamon buns from the pantry and the eggs in the meat drawer, so I set to work.
Ryker walked in as I was rolling out sweet-scented dough across the kitchen counter. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”
“Don’t worry,” I said. “You aren’t getting any.”
“Saving them for your devil-lover?”
“Wow.” I rolled the dough out a little harder. “For your information, there was no curse that could make me want Nimshi. He tried to kiss me, and I hurt his feelings.”
“You hurt his feelings?” Ryker shook his head slowly. “You should’ve hurt his cardiovascular system.”
“Killing isn’t always the answer.”
“You’d be surprised,” Ryker said.
/> “Then better watch out in your sleep,” I muttered.
Total failure to apologize. I’d moved on to threatening his life.
But seriously, how was I supposed to be sorry when he was such a jerk?
“The curse is making you crazy,” he said, almost to himself. “I shouldn’t hold it against you.”
“Excuse me?”
Ryker stared back at me and didn’t repeat himself. He crossed his arms over his chest, his chin lifting slightly.
“You can go,” I said. I couldn’t go; I had covered half the counter in sticky, sugar-scented dough. I stared down at the recipe book, trying to decipher the next step even though my head hummed with my irritation at Ryker. “I’m busy.”
“You’re baking.”
“I’m busy baking, yes.”
“There’s important work to do, Ellis.”
“He’s not coming here with a demon horde!” I said. “First of all, there is no demon horde. Samael was the only one, and he took the Express back to Hell. When Nimshi saved us. Which means they’ll be looking to kill him. What’s he going to do?”
“Maybe it was all a set-up,” Ryker said. “Ultimate good-cop, bad-cop.”
“I doubt that.”
“Yeah,” he said. “Well, you would.”
“Go away.”
“It’s my kitchen,” he said. “I don’t have to go anywhere.”
“Children.” Jacob leaned in the doorway. “Let’s not fight.”
“How’s your head?” I asked.
“Oh, someone remembers I was hurt? Fine.”
“Here’s a question for you. Do you think that we should consider Nimshi a danger?” Ryker asked, putting his hands out as if he were a scale, weighing his options. “Or trust his better nature?”
Jacob regarded him coolly. “You know what I think. I don’t want to play any part of this little game, though.”
Ryker said, “I’m just asking. Ellis watched him torture you and now she’s like hey, he’s not all bad.”
“He’s your brother.” I said flatly.
“Stop saying that!”
“But he is,” I said. “That’s how the Four works. I’m not saying we welcome him into the family…”
“So you would not give him a cinnamon bun?” Ryker said, nodding mock-seriously along.
“All I said is we shouldn’t kill him,” I said, ignoring him. “Not that we can anyway right now, we don’t know where he is. It’s not some big betrayal that I don’t think we should execute your own half-brother.”
“It is, though,” Ryker told me.
And then he finally walked away.
It was not the victory I thought it would be. I watched him go, his tight ass in those jeans, the sword hanging between his broad shoulders, until the doorway he’d just walked through blurred with my tears. God damn it.
“Hey,” Jacob said, his voice soft behind me, warning me that he was there a second before his hand found my hip. His fingers hooked my hips, and he drew me a step back, against him. I found his full, warm length, and he wrapped his arms around me. “Don’t cry.”
“Not crying,” I said. “Badass hunter, just like you.”
I could feel his chest flutter with silent laughter.
I twisted in his arms, about to scold him, but he said, “You can be the dangerous, gifted girl we all love and still cry, Ellis.”
I sniffed, which didn’t make me feel very dangerous. “It would be nice if you all liked me at the same time.”
He kissed my forehead, the gesture unexpectedly tender.
“You’re just sucking up to me because you want a cinnamon bun,” I accused, which made me smile, my voice coming out stronger.
“I figured I could have Ryker’s too,” he said, and then he kissed me again.
There was desperate throat-clearing in the doorway. The two of us glanced up, smiling. Levi stood in the doorway. And next to him was Olivia, who glanced away from us. Her white teeth pressed indents into her plus lower lip.
“Awkward,” I said, untangling myself from Jacob. “Okay. Well, I’d better get back to baking if we’re ever going to have breakfast…”
“I found where your sister is,” Olivia said. Her voice came out rushed and blunt. “I don’t think there’s any hope, Ellis.”
I stared back at her.
Her cheeks flushed pink. “I didn’t mean to say it like that. But Parrish started emailing again and I read that she doesn’t really think there’s hope to put Ashley back into a physical body, they have her heart beating artificially, a machine breathing for her… it’s just to humor Mr. Joseph. It’s not for real.”
“Christ, Olivia,” Jacob said. He gazed at her darkly, and she flushed more deeply.
“It’s all right,” I said absently. He reached for my shoulder, no doubt to comfort me, but I slipped his grip. I smiled over my shoulder at him, meaning to comfort him, but the pathetic flicker of my lips upward just made him look sadder.
“Give me some time,” I said to the room, my voice coming out just fine, perfectly normal.
And then I ran out into the backyard.
So that probably didn’t look just fine, perfectly normal.
31
I sat cross-legged in the grass. The waving green strands tickled my thighs and ankles, because a soft breeze was blowing in from the direction of the pines. The scent of evergreens and warm earth flowed over me.
In the daylight, grounded in the earth, I should have felt far away from the demon’s case. But I knew if I closed my eyes I’d be back there, forced to watch Nimshi’s moving pictures, listening to my sister scream again, watching her beat against the Jetta window. Then there was the moment she finally managed to get the door open, and the way she’d tumbled out into the grass. She’d crawled a few steps away and then collapsed, still breathing in the acrid smoke that would poison her lungs.
I wanted her back.
I had to remember what happened. If I had caused the accident. If I had set the car on fire in my panic.
I rested my hands, palms-up, in my lap. What kind of powers were these if they only came to me in nightmares? I bit down hard on my lip, steeling myself, and let my eyes drift shut.
I felt a feather-light touch on my palms, and I opened my eyes in a hurry, expecting one of the boys.
Ash sat cross-legged in front of me. Her long satin skirt had been ripped away, and it hung short and ragged now over her long, tan legs. Her bare arms were marked with elaborate black tattoos, intricate marks that curled up into the tight bodice of her blue gown.
“Why are you crying?” she asked, her voice soft and familiar.
“Are you really here?” I asked, my hands closing around hers. But my fingers went through her hands, which rippled translucent in my grip, and I turned my hands back over, palms up. At least we could pretend.
“No,” she said. “Never again, Ellis.”
“You don’t know that,” I said.
“I’m someone here in the Far,” she said. “I just need you to get the Company off my back. Get rid of Mr. Joseph.”
“He says he’s got you trapped…”
She shook her head. “No.”
“What do you mean?”
“They used their magic to cage me if I came into this world,” she said. “The night I led you to them… I was trying to make a bargain. To see you. I shouldn’t have.”
“Never bargain with the devil,” I said.
“Unless you don’t have a choice,” she said. “I’m free of them now, Ellis. But I don’t want them to trap me again. I have to stay in the Far.”
“You can’t stay in the Far,” I said. “You’re supposed to go into Heaven.”
She pulled a face, a mischievous smirk that I knew well. “Heaven sounds boring.”
“Where’d you get the tattoos?”
“There’s work to do in the Far,” she said. Which didn’t really answer my question.
“And shouldn’t the same people who gave you the tattoos be able to po
int you in the direction of some new clothes?” I asked.
She glanced down. “I like this. It reminds me of where I came from. But I had to modify it a bit to make it work for what I do now.”
“And what do you do?”
She grinned. “You’ll see. Aren’t you going to come visit?”
“When I have the… juice.” I hated the way the boys said juice but I didn’t know what else to say.
“I think you already do.” She crinkled her nose at me. She must not care for the word either. We always shared a bias against certain words. Moist. Juice. Panties. All of them made me bite my tongue and crinkle my nose.
“What happened?” I asked. “That… night?”
“I don’t remember. Does it matter?”
“It matters to me.”
She shook her head. “What’s going on in your world?”
“I don’t know. Lots of things. Turns out I’m a reincarnation of the first woman, I have superpowers. Oh, I have a harem of boys who are jackasses but I love them anyway. And I was just captured by a demon and tortured with memories of your death. False memories? I don’t know.”
“That’s why you’re stuck on that.”
“I’m stuck on it because I miss you.”
“Don’t miss me.” She winked. “Come into the Far anytime and visit.”
“Ellis,” someone called behind me.
I glanced away from her, just for a second, and when I looked back, she was gone.
I jumped to my feet, full of frustration, just as Olivia ran across the yard to me. Her cheeks were still flushed and she was breathing hard.
I had never been so disappointed to see another human being in my life. I ached at having Ash disappear on me.
“Come on,” she said. “You’ve got to see this. Before the boys do something stupid…”
So even though I was furious, I ran with her, around the house and down the long gravel driveway.
At the end of the driveway, abandoned on the road, was a metal cargo container on wheels, like it had been towed here by a semi.
“What is it, Olivia?” I demanded, my voice harsh.
She just shook her head. As we neared the truck, I could hear the boys’ voices, arguing, and the noisy rattle of an engine. The back of the cargo container stood open. I turned and looked in.
