by Misty Simon
“I really don’t mind if you kiss her.” I traced a pattern of lines in the wood grain on the desk. “I actually meant the whole thing as a joke. Apparently it got totally out of hand.” As most things did for me. I looked up at him as I finished, “It got all messed up, and this cold I seem to be dragging around is kicking my ass, so I’m out of sorts.” At least I thought I had a cold; there was no other logical explanation.
“Ivy, please, there are no hard feelings. From now on I’ll drag her into your office and have my wicked way with her.”
“Just make sure you lock the door.”
And all was right in my world, except for the fact that I had no idea what was going on because I hadn’t read the paper and there was another dead body in our midst. I was seriously going to try to stay out of this one.
My dad yelled for us from the sales floor, panic in his voice. Business as usual. And another typical day in the life and times of Ivy.
****
I asked Bella to pick up a paper for me on her way over to the shop. She and Charlie were going to help me do some more inventory changes and spring cleaning (in the fall) this evening. I had already cleared it with the police and let them know we would be in the building. I did not want a cop banging on the door at 6:15 p.m. as I’d had before. The town of Martha’s Point was very vigilant about rolling up their sidewalks at six on the dot. I had learned that lesson very quickly when the police banged on the door one night last year thinking I had burglars because I, the newbie to town, was working at almost seven. You would have thought I had broken the law, when really I had only tripped over an unspoken rule. The town still saw me as an outsider, to this day. I had little hope of that completely changing any time soon.
Since Bella couldn’t find a single newspaper in the whole of Martha’s Point, I moved forward with my plans instead of obsessing over what I was missing (I know, so weird for me). We ordered in for pizza and got ourselves a couple of bottles of wine. After eating and drinking, we cranked up the music on the hidden speakers, dragged stuff out of the storage area in the attic, and set to work like industrious little ants.
Boxes were strewn up and down the attic stairs, spilling into the hallway and the downstairs sales floor. Everything from the little closet in the backroom had been pulled out, covering the plank flooring, waiting to be stowed on the racks and placed into dressers. Many pieces of lingerie, and other things for the bedroom, already lined the racks, but there was always room for more. I’m sure you already know what I’m talking about regarding the “things for the bedroom” comment, so I’m not going to do an inventory rundown for you.
This was my idea of spring cleaning. The fall was a much better time because it was much cooler outside, and spring could get muggy upstairs.
Plus the place needed a thorough flushing out, since I hadn’t done more than minimal cleaning in the year I’d been here. We’d done inventories of current stock, but I’d never taken the time to rummage through everything left here by Great-Aunt Gertie.
Which was precisely why I had called in my dearest friends to help instead of anyone else. I was a little afraid of what I might find, to be honest.
“I have a box of Easter eggs over here,” Bella called out from the next room.
“Throw them aside. We’ll start a holiday box.”
“Okay,” she yelled back.
When I heard a thump and the tinkle of what sounded like broken glass, I decided I had better remember to watch what I was saying. Apparently Bella was being very literal this evening.
“Sorry about that,” she shouted.
Charlie snickered next to my elbow, and I almost put it in his stomach.
“Are you absolutely sure it was a good idea to have the newlywed come and help out?” He twirled a plastic lei around his finger as he leaned against the counter to my left.
“Don’t you have something to do?”
“Yep.” And he scurried away.
I went back to my work, putting all the feather boas into one box. They had been strewn all over the place, tucked into bags under the counter and into a few different totes in the attic. I didn’t know what Aunt Gertie had been thinking in her storage methods.
Two hours later I still didn’t see any rhyme or reason to the way things were packed. I had, however, found a stack of old Playgirl magazines and spent a few minutes giggling over them with Bella. Her highlighted auburn hair and sparkling eyes danced with every burst of mirth. I was enjoying the laughter and reminding myself to get in for a touch-up, when I got yelled at by Charlie for not working hard enough.
Jeez, what a taskmaster!
I was in the process of stacking tie-dyed bell-bottom pants on a shelf next to the front counter when a knock sounded on the front door.
Seriously, it had better not be the police.
“You want me to get that?” Charlie asked. He was in charge of putting some of the floating candles I’d found into the mermaid fountain. I only hoped he wouldn’t bend over and show me what color women’s underwear he had on today.
“No, whoever it is will just have to go away.” But I grumped over to the front door, perking up when I thought maybe it was Ben. He’d said he would stop by later with some dessert, and my poor stomach could seriously go for some pie right about now, especially if it was from Mad Martha’s Milk and Munchies. Yummy. And so was the pie.
When I peeked through the window in the door, I came eyeball to eyeball with a woman who looked vaguely familiar. Now, I knew better than to open the door to a stranger—my mom had taught me that at six—but as I said, this lady looked familiar, and she was smiling and waving at me through the glass.
“Can I help you?” I asked after I pulled open the door a smidge. Not enough for her to get through, but enough not to be rude.
“Hi, I’m Heather.” And then she just stood there. Smiling. Waving.
Um.
“Hello, Heather.” I kept the smile on my own face, but was starting to feel a little freaked out. After a few more seconds where we continued to stare at each other, I repeated my question about helping her.
“Yes,” she answered, then just stood there.
Really? Now this was less freaky and more annoying. I was in the middle of cleaning and I did not want to have to pull every single word out of her. This was going to be my last question, and then I’d simply close the door in her face if I had to. “Well, what can I help you with?”
And please let’s speed this along, I thought. I had things to do and a person to do them to when I finally got home and jumped on Ben. Yeah, those Playgirl magazines had done a little something for me, and yes, I did peek even though I said I wasn’t going to. Sue me.
Heather’s face crumpled in the next second, and she wailed as her shoulders heaved. I was left completely stunned and flabbergasted (good word, but I’d have to enjoy it later when I could think again).
The floor vibrated behind me. I sincerely hoped it was someone coming to save me from this bizarre fiasco. To say I was out of my depth would have been a total and complete understatement. Help!
“Heather?” It was Bella behind me, which could be a bad or good thing depending on whether or not my friend liked the other woman. I’d seen her be pretty vicious to people she didn’t like, but never when they were in tears like this.
I couldn’t tell from Bella’s tone of voice which way this was going to go.
“Oh, Della!” Heather wailed and fell into Bella’s arms, sobbing as if her best friend had just died. “It’s so terrible. I never thought something like this would ever happen, and now I’m right in the middle of things, and I don’t know what to do. I’m so lost, and no one will help me. I’m so alone.”
I met Bella’s eyes over the top of the upset woman’s head. Had I heard right when she’d said “Della”? Why wasn’t Bella flipping out about her name being messed up? Why was the freaking woman still crying? I swear there was a pitch to her cry that was rattling my eardrums.
Charlie came haulin
g ass out of the attic, trundling along the floor at top speed. But it wasn’t my imagination when he stopped dead in his tracks, took the scene in, and stayed right where he was as if nailed to the wood planks.
Normally, he was the first one into the fray with a helping hand. What was holding him back? Why didn’t he do something as this Heather person continued to wail loud enough to bring the house down?
Or bring the cops to my door, I thought as I heard a siren sounding in the night and saw the strobing lights hit the front porch. Crap.
Chapter Four
Bella set Heather away from her as Jared came stalking up the front steps of the shop. The other woman moved right back to Bella like she was attached with a rubber band.
What, were we having a party or something, and I hadn’t been told? Should I freaking order more pizza? Have a full-on buffet brought in?
Detective Bartley came in behind Jared, then Martha and my dad. All we needed was Detective Bartley’s stuffy partner, Detective Jameson, to come stomping in and we’d have a full complement of busybodies. And then surprise, surprise, that tall, sober man was there, too.
“Come on in,” I said, shoving past the crying woman and all the people surrounding her. I grabbed Jameson by the arm of his suit jacket to pull him into the fray. He looked confused, which made me happy to not be the only one who didn’t know what the hell was going on. Everyone was speaking at the same time, pretty much talking over each other.
The sobbing continued, too, just in case you were wondering. Oy!
From somewhere came a shrill whistle. Everything and everyone stopped for a brief second. But it was enough for me to feel there might be hope for my hearing sometime in the near future.
And then there was my hero, my lover, the man who could save me, I hoped. My normal life was a special kind of chaos, but this was completely and utterly out of control.
I ran to him as if the seat of my pants was on fire. “Help me! I have no idea what’s going on. My shop has been invaded, and I can’t make them stop.”
Dad and Martha were standing closest to us, shouting something about one of my sisters being pregnant again. Bella had finally gotten Heather away from her by holding onto Jared and hiding behind his burly body after shoving Heather toward my mermaid fountain.
Jameson and Bartley appeared to be conferring in one corner. I sure wished I were over there. But I still didn’t know what Heather was doing here.
I decided to bite the bullet and dragged Ben over to the fountain with me. The decibel level of Heather’s crying had finally hit a low sob, thank goodness. I really hoped no one would set her off again, especially not me.
I pulled a bottle of water from the little refrigerator under the long counter on my way to the quietly crying woman. She’d probably need to rehydrate after the way she’d been leaking and sobbing.
I offered it to the top of her head since she had her face buried in her hands. Reaching out, she took the bottle without looking at me. I wondered if she was worried about her tear-ravaged face and that’s why she didn’t even flick a glance at me. I couldn’t imagine anyone but Bella being able to have that kind of crying jag without ruining any makeup she had on.
“Maybe I should have someone take you home,” I offered to the part in her blonde hair. She had a serious case of roots going on, but I didn’t think now would be the time to mention she should set up an appointment with Bella to get them taken care of.
She finally looked at me, and for the second time in less than half an hour I was flabbergasted. No tear tracks stained her cheeks, no makeup smeared under her eyes. She didn’t have the red-rimmed look normal people got after a bout of crying like she’d had. What was up with that?
But I didn’t get a chance to comment because a new commotion started at the door. What was I, an all-night bistro, for heaven’s sake?
A new man had walked right in the front door as if he owned the place. He strolled directly over to Heather and put a hand on her shoulder. “Why don’t you come with me, sweetheart?” the man asked. “I’ve been looking all over for you.” He lightly touched her blonde hair while she looked up at him with something very akin to adoration.
“Thank you for finding me, honey.” She nuzzled into his hand, rising from the stone lip of the fountain. “I’m ready to go now.”
Huh?
“Um, are you sure you’re okay to leave?” How had she gotten here anyway? Then again, the town was small enough that she could have walked from almost anywhere.
And I still didn’t know who the heck she was, other than a very strange woman who cried without leaking tears and who seemed to be able to compose herself pretty quickly after being such a wreck that the police had come to see what was going on here.
But before I could ask any questions, the man had led Heather out of The Masked Shoppe and into the chilly night. Which left me with two detectives, one officer, two parents, one Ben, one shop helper, and a hairdresser who looked as if she was about to have an asthma attack.
That was about a million and seven too many people, as far as I was concerned. I had a feeling we were done with spring cleaning for the evening.
“Hey!” I yelled over all the various conversations happening around me. The decibel level hadn’t decreased much, even though at least I didn’t have to listen to the wailing anymore.
Of course no one listened to me, because no one ever does. So I really yelled. I didn’t normally do that, but this felt like a special circumstance. “Shut the hell up!”
And didn’t that finally get everyone’s attention? You could have heard a garter snap in the ensuing silence. Now what was I going to say?
“Um, well, thank you all for coming by.”
That got them talking again. Jeez!
Ben took control this time and did the shrill whistle thing that silenced everyone.
“Thanks, babe.” I gave him a quick kiss.
“My pleasure.” He squeezed my butt. “Or it will be this evening when you come home tonight.”
A little shiver went throughout my entire body as he stepped back a pace, giving me the floor. I turned first to my dad and his blushing bride of about six months, Martha. “I am so excited about Rose having a new baby. I will call her later to squeal in her ear. But I have something going on right now, I think, and I need you guys to go so I can figure it out. I’ll see you tonight.”
My dad opened his mouth, and I would have sworn he was about to fight with me. But Martha dragged him out by the arm, telling me she’d talk to me soon and hoped I was feeling better.
Two down.
Next I turned to the police entourage. I was pretty sure most of the force was standing in my sales room, though I had no idea why. It was about time to find out.
“What can I do for you three?” I asked Detectives Bartley and Jameson and Officer Jared. Jared and Debbie could have been here to connect with their honeys, regardless of the fact that we were supposed to have been here for at least another two hours. But I never doubted the abilities of the people around this area to listen to the CB radio to see what was going on. Maybe one of my neighbors had called in the screaming. Heather had sounded like someone was killing a cat there for a little while.
“I’m here for Bella.”
“It’s Della now, apparently.” She crossed her arms over her stomach and raised an eyebrow at me.
“Hey, I wasn’t the one who called you that.” I said it defensively, then watched the eyebrow creep up even more. “Who is she anyway?” I wanted to get the question in before another conversation started.
I got six answers at the same time, but I’m not going to try to show you how that sounded. Suffice it to say I caught each person’s fifth or seventh word.
Ben whistled again and got several glares for his trouble, mostly from the law enforcement in the room. They probably didn’t want to be told by someone else what to do. Hee-hee.
“Heather is a client of mine,” Ben said before anyone else could utter a word. All mou
ths dropped open as if pulled by unseen hands.
Jameson was the first one to gather his wits about him. “I hope you mean you’re going to show her which bulbs to plant in the spring,” he growled.
That didn’t sound good.
“No,” Ben said, standing his ground by spreading his legs a little bit farther apart and squaring his shoulders. “I mean as in I’m going to be doing a private investigation for her into several matters.”
“One of those matters better not be the death of her brother.” Debbie didn’t quite growl her words like Jameson, but Charlie put a gently restraining hand on her arm. To give her credit, she didn’t shake him off. I thought I probably would have, especially with the conversation I knew they’d recently had about workplace do’s and don’t’s.
“I’m not at liberty to discuss the nature of what she’s hired me for.”
Jameson looked like he was about to split Ben from nose to navel. This was not good. Drama-wise it made for a great show, but I liked Ben’s nose and navel, and the torso in between. I had to think of something to say, and fast, to diffuse the potentially lethal situation. Oy!
“Anyone want a cookie?” Inane! But effective. Everyone turned to me, and I put on my best placid smile while I folded my hands at my thick waist.
Charlie was quick on the uptake, grabbing the tray from the counter. I’d picked up some Halloween-themed cookies from the Food Lion down the way and arranged them as artfully as I could. He gave me the platter, so I balanced it on my palm with my smile still firmly stuck on my face. I will admit I had a squicky feeling in my stomach with everyone looking right at me.
There was some grumbling before everyone took a cookie. Ben used the time to sneak out of the shop while the choices were being made. I started to wave at him, then thought better of it as I realized no one else had seen him ducking out.
It was almost comical when the detectives noticed Ben was no longer standing in the room as we all munched on the sugar cookies decorated with orange and black icing and sprinkles.
