The realization didn't cause bells to peal or firecrackers to explode in her head. Instead, it made her sad. He was so far beyond her reach that it would have been laughable if it hadn't hurt so much. This week had shown her a way of life she had only guessed at and could never fit into even if she tried. And there was Veronica, who always got everything she wanted and left no doubt that what she wanted was Jason. It amused him, but he didn't seem to mind. When he got around to it, they would undoubtedly be married, and Erin could read about it in the newspapers. She bit her lower lip to stop its quivering.
Hearing footsteps outside the door, she hurriedly returned Helen's folder and extracted the Dukakis file instead.
"Well, that's taken care of. They're off to the yacht club, and we should have a quiet afternoon," Jason announced to Erin's back.
His voice caused a thrill of apprehension to run through her and she was afraid to turn around. Would her new knowledge show? And how about her admitted feelings toward him?
"Erin?" he asked with a rising inflection. "Is anything wrong?" She forced herself to turn around. After one look at her face, he crossed the room with rapid strides and took both of her hands in his. "My dear, what is it?"
She looked up into his concerned face, and the desire to put her arms around his neck and touch the dark hair that fell across his tanned forehead was almost uncontrollable. Something of her emotions must have shown, because his expression changed and he put his hands on her shoulders, gently bringing her unresisting body close to his. Erin's lips parted and she was enveloped in a haze of happiness until Veronica's waspish voice shattered the spell.
"I hope I'm not interrupting anything." But it was evident that's exactly what she hoped.
Jason released Erin immediately and turned to the other woman. "Of course not." After a barely perceptible pause, he added, "I thought you'd already gone."
"Obviously!" Veronica snapped.
His eyes narrowed. Ignoring her tone, he asked courteously, "Is there something I can do for you?"
She looked uncertainly from Jason to Erin and then decided that honey caught more flies. Slipping her arm through his, she said silkily, "I started to think of you slaving away in here on such a beautiful day and I decided that if I helped out, maybe we could finish up all this silly paper work and still have time to go out on the boat. Just the two of us," she added pointedly.
Erin wondered cynically what kind of help Veronica thought she could provide, since her talents seemed to lie mainly in looking beautiful, but she remained tactfully silent.
Putting his arm casually around Veronica, he led her gently but firmly to the door. "You're an angel to think of it, but there isn't anything you can do for me except go sailing and enjoy yourself. I'm sure you'll tell me all about it tonight."
The irony in his voice went unnoticed and his flattery accomplished its purpose. She left, reluctant but happy, as Erin watched contemptuously. How easy it was for him to handle his women and how stupid they were to allow themselves to be manipulated—herself included. Well, no more! There wasn't anything she could do about loving him. But love was like warts or a bad chest cold— difficult but not impossible to get rid of. She was going to work at it!
As Jason turned back to her, an eagerness in his eyes, she held the Dukakis file between them. "Here are the papers you asked for, and I'll get right to work on those notes."
One eyebrow peaked at her impersonal tone but he made no comment. He seated himself at the desk, accepting her sudden reserve with perfect equanimity, Erin observed bitterly.
The rest of the afternoon flew by as they worked compatibly with a minimum of conversation.
When Erin finished the last page, she leaned back, massaging her stiff neck. The one thing missing in this perfectly appointed office was a proper chair for typing.
Jason's grave eyes were on her. "Are you tired?"
"No, just a little stiff," she said.
He got up and stood behind her, his strong hands starting to massage her neck and shoulders. A dangerous thrill ran through Erin at his touch and she started to get up, but he held her down impatiently.
"I'm not going to attack you, for Pete's sake. Will you just relax with me for once in your life?"
"I am relaxed," she told him distantly.
"No, you're not. You're as taut as a violin string." His long fingers stopped kneading her tired muscles and slid up her neck. Cupping her chin in his palms, he tilted her head back and forced her to look at him. "Erin, what's wrong?"
Gazing up at him from this angle, she noticed for the first time how thick his eyelashes were. Then her eyes went to his mobile mouth and she almost stopped breathing. It was an effort to remember his question. She couldn't think clearly when he was this close.
Twisting out of his grasp, Erin rose to face him, the chair putting a safe distance between them. "Nothing's wrong. I just need a little exercise. Maybe I'll go for a swim before dinner."
He accepted her answer impassively. "That sounds like a good idea. Go ahead."
As she reached the door, he stopped her. "Erin… thank you."
The words were simple and sincerely spoken, throwing her into even greater confusion. She wanted to answer that she would do anything for him—anytime. She wanted to say it had been pure heaven working beside him this afternoon. What she actually said was a disaster.
Trying desperately for a sophisticated note that wouldn't reveal her true feelings, she remarked airily, "Think nothing of it. That's what I'm paid for, isn't it?" and fled before the growing anger on his face.
Chapter Five
There was still an hour to go before the party started. Erin was all bathed and ready except for putting on her dress, and that was no problem. She had already selected it from the collection in the closet, and at least this time she wasn't in any doubt. It was going to be a gala affair, and the short black lace would be perfect for the occasion.
When she had first inspected it, her eyes had widened at the famous designer's name on the label. His double initials decorated all the things she yearned for and couldn't possibly afford. It probably cost more than a month's salary! The strapless top and full skirt were both decorated with a ruffle, and a black silk taffeta sash completed the outfit.
Erin inspected her slim legs critically and knew without conceit that they were very good indeed. The new shorter skirts were intended for legs like hers. In a pair of spike-heeled backless sandals, she would at least look like she belonged among all these idle rich.
A knock at the door interrupted her thoughts, and her guard came up automatically. Could it be Jason? He had looked more than just annoyed when she brushed aside his simple thank-you, and from recent experience she knew that an angry Jason was a dangerous one.
Belting the short robe more tightly around her small waist, she hesitatingly opened the door. Her fears were groundless. It was only Bibi.
"Hi, Erin. We missed you this afternoon, so I thought I'd come in for a chat. Do you have time?"
Erin breathed a soft sigh of relief. "Of course, come on in."
"It was gorgeous out on the water, and I'm furious at Jason for taking advantage of you. Imagine making you slave away on a beautiful day like this! I swear that man drops everything when he's involved in a business deal, but that's no reason for keeping you locked up in a dim office."
"I didn't mind." Erin smiled.
"But that's the point—you should. You have to start training these men right from the start or there's no living with them," Bibi instructed.
"Aren't you getting the cart before the horse? I work for him and he tells me what to do."
"Oh, that." Bibi dismissed Erin's job with a careless shrug of her shoulders. "I was talking about your personal relationship."
Erin inspected her fingernails carefully. "We don't have one."
"Of course not," Bibi mocked her. "He just brought you down here this week because you won the annual office typing contest."
Erin's throat felt dry, an
d it was with difficulty that she forced herself to say, "Something like that."
Bibi gave a little laugh. "My loving husband always tells me I'm too nosy, and I guess I am. But I like you, Erin. I'm not trying to pry into your business. I'm just attempting to give you a little advice. Tommy and I have seen Jason through a lot of love affairs, and we always breathed a sigh of relief when they were over, although I don't think any of them was ever serious. But you're different. I think you're right for him." She nodded her head positively.
Erin didn't know whether to laugh or cry. "You're really crazy, do you know that? Have you seen the way he acts around Veronica?"
"Oh, Veronica." Bibi shrugged her off. "Everyone knows she's mad about Jason, but if he really loved her he would have married her long ago. I think she's just a bad habit."
"They're the hardest to break,". Erin said lightly, managing to control the quiver in her voice.
"I didn't say it would be easy," Bibi complained, "but you could at least fight for him."
Erin shook her head. "It wouldn't work. I wouldn't have a chance," she said without realizing she had made a tacit admission that she wanted one.
"Why not? You're gorgeous and you're fun and you even have brains—"
"And Veronica has the inside track," Erin interrupted.
Bibi looked thoughtful. "I don't think so."
"Well, I do," Erin answered shortly. "Have you ever noticed how he drops everything to soothe her whenever she gets in a bad mood? Which seems to be all the time," she added spitefully.
"Sure, but there's a reason for it. You don't know Veronica like the rest of us. If she doesn't get her own way, she can make the most frightful scenes, and it's really uncomfortable for everyone. Jason's the only one who can handle her. He flatters her a little bit and puts his arm around her, and that usually does the trick. But he will only stand for just so much and she knows it. I've seen him be really brutal with her, and then she toes the line for a while."
"You don't mean… ?" Erin's tone was shocked.
"Of course not," Bibi laughed. "Nothing physical. Jason might be a lot of rotten things, but he is a gentleman. You've never seen him when he's in a white-hot rage, though. He can be unbelievably sarcastic."
Erin had seen him that way, and it wasn't an experience she wanted to repeat, even though she had never been the object of it. How could a woman bear to have that pent-up anger directed against her?
"She must love him a great deal."
"Who knows if a woman like Veronica is even capable of love?" Bibi shrugged. "But she certainly has a fixation about Jason. I could bite my tongue off for telling her he was going to be here. Who knew she'd change her plans right there in the airport, for heaven's sake?"
"It wasn't your fault," Erin assured her, "and maybe it was all for the best. Since Brad showed up unexpectedly, too, at least we're an even number."
"He's another problem child," Bibi sighed.
"I don't think so," Erin disagreed. "I think he's kind of fun."
"Yes, he is fun—drunk or sober. Unfortunately, it's not always easy to tell which of those conditions he's in. But he's also the kind of man that mothers are constantly warning their daughters about."
"Are he and Jason very good friends?" Erin asked. "They must be if he's free to use the house whenever he likes."
"Jason is the most generous man in the whole world. Too many people sponge off him," she added disapprovingly, "Brad especially. As to how friendly they are—well, they went to prep school together, and I guess it's a case of old school ties, that sort of thing."
"It's kind of funny, thought—Jason didn't seem to be very happy to see him," Erin remarked thoughtfully.
"That's the understatement of the year," Bibi grinned. "He didn't expect to see either one of them. It was supposed to be just the four of us this week—and that's something for you to remember. Why do you think he asked you down here if he wasn't interested in you?"
Erin felt herself go hot with shame and she hastily averted her face. Bibi must never know the real reason why Erin was here. All of her kind advice was a waste, because Jason wasn't interested in her that way and nothing Erin could do would change it. He only wanted one thing from her, and it was just a matter of time until he took it.
After all, she reminded herself wryly, he was entitled, wasn't he? He had bought her for ten thousand dollars, which was a very impressive sum, even though it had to be paid back. And I'm here to guarantee the loan, she thought bitterly.
Erin hoped at least Bibi and Tommy would never find out. She liked them both so much. They were warm and funny and friendly and she would like to have known them better. But under the circumstances, the best thing that could happen would be that she would never see them again after this holiday. They were bound to ask about her, though —and what would Jason say? Would he take Tommy aside and tell him all the intimate details the way she had heard that men do? And would Tommy relay the information to his wife? Erin's soul shriveled inside of her.
Bibi was getting up off the big bed where the two women had sat cross-legged, gossiping. "What time is it getting to be? I'd better get ready. Show me what you're going to wear and then I have to dash."
Erin brought out the black lace dress and Bibi was ecstatic. "It's absolutely divine and you'll look smashing in it. Jason won't have a chance tonight!"
She fingered the full skirt with the eyes of a true connoisseur and then inspected the ruffled neckline. Snapping her fingers, she said, "Got just the thing. Stay right here and don't move a muscle."
Erin was puzzled to see Bibi dash out the door, and she looked uncertainly down at the dress she was still holding. The one thing that had surprised her all week was the way the others accepted her expensive wardrobe without a question. Didn't they realize she couldn't afford clothes like these? Didn't they wonder where she got them? The only thing that might explain it was that they took such things for granted. If she had appeared in her own inexpensive outfits, that would probably have caused talk.
While these thoughts were running through her mind, Bibi reappeared with a lovely diamond pin in her hand. "Here, this will be perfect nestled in among the ruffles—very sexy and understated. Just the one jewel—don't wear anything else," she warned.
Erin stared at the glittering bauble and gasped. "Bibi, I can't wear this—those are real diamonds!"
"Of course they're real," the other girl said impatiently. "What difference does that make?"
"You just don't borrow a diamond pin."
"Why not? Diamonds don't wear out."
Erin tried again. "I couldn't possibly; it's too expensive. What if I lost it?"
"It's insured."
"That's not the point," Erin told her desperately. "I simply can't do it."
"Oh, Erin, don't be so silly!"
Bibi couldn't understand Erin's reluctance, and it took a lot of heated arguing before she finally accepted defeat. She was still shaking her head disbelievingly as she went to get dressed.
Erin was equally incredulous. The pin Bibi had offered so casually was worth a fortune! It was a stunning sunburst with a large pear shaped diamond in the center surrounded by dozens of smaller round stones. That handful of sparklers would have made all the difference in the world to Erin if she had owned it. To Bibi, it was just a decoration to be loaned on a whim. Nothing could have impressed on Erin more clearly the difference in their life-styles. She couldn't stop thinking about it all the time she was getting dressed.
There was music and laughter coming from the living room when she opened her door, and Erin realized the party had already started. She was suddenly shy and filled with reluctance. Although the mirror proclaimed that she belonged here, it was all a sham. These people would see through her instantly. Would Jason even miss her if she didn't show up? Caught in a dilemma, Erin half turned back toward her room, only to see Brad coming toward her with a broad smile on his face.
Taking her hands and holding her arms straight out from her sides, h
e said, "Let me look at you— you're a blooming vision of loveliness."
"You look rather handsome yourself," she smiled. Brad's deep tan was accentuated by the white dinner jacket he wore.
"We're going to be the best-looking couple at the party. The women will all be envious of you and every man will try to steal you from me, but I won't let them." Tucking her hand in the crook of his arm, he led her down the hall.
Erin didn't believe his nonsense for a minute, but she was grateful for his presence. Now she wouldn't have to walk in alone. As they reached the living room, she saw there were already about twenty people there, with more arriving every minute, as evidenced by the pealing doorbell.
It was a large room made to look even bigger, since most of the furniture had been arranged along the walls, leaving the polished parquet floor free for dancing. Through the door at the far end, more couples could be seen clustered around the red leather bar that spanned one end of the playroom. Two bartenders were dispensing drinks at top speed, and the hum of conversation was loudest in that area.
Erin saw Jason across the room at the same moment that he spotted her. As their eyes met, her heart started to thump. He looked so handsome in his evening clothes—so rugged and masculine—yet sleekly sophisticated at the same time.
Brad's voice in her ear said, "It looks like a mob scene in there, but I'll see if I can get us a couple of drinks. Be back in a minute." With a little squeeze of her hand, he departed in one direction as Jason approached from another.
There was a slight frown on Jason's face as he looked after Brad, but when he reached Erin his eyes were glowing. "You look beautiful."
"Thank you… I… it's the dress," she murmured shyly, basking in his approval.
"You said that last time. I think you're just fishing for compliments," he told her with mock severity.
The admiration on his face filled Erin with confidence and she said provocatively, "Why not? You don't give me very many."
Holiday in Jamaica Page 10
