by Trumbo, Kari
He swayed to the music, their noses almost brushing together, his eyes locked with hers. The music drifted away, the skaters didn’t exist, the cold didn’t matter. Pure white flakes caught in his eyelashes and hair but she couldn’t stop watching him, thinking of him, hoping…
Far too soon, he bent and put her back in her chair, then sat on a bench next to her. No words came to interrupt the soaring feeling inside her. Should she thank him? Should she reach out? She didn’t want it to end, but she could see his hands shaking slightly out of the corner of her eye. Though she wasn’t all that heavy, holding anyone for the span of a whole song was a lot of weight to hold.
“Thank you, Duncan.”
He slid closer to her on the bench until his hip was right against her chair. He reached over, draping his arm around her and she succumbed, leaning into him and resting her head against his chest. The chair made it uncomfortable, cutting into her ribcage, but she didn’t care. She’d take the closeness of Duncan. But he hadn’t kissed her. Maybe that was one of the things he just couldn’t do.
15
“We need to go back to your place after practice.” Duncan stared at his phone, then glanced up at her. He’d been twitchy for the last hour of practice, reading her times wrong, forgetting to tell her times until she asked. Once, she’d even rolled over to him and pinched him.
“Why? We’re already running behind today because your head isn’t really in the game.” She leaned forward and lifted the weights he’d set up for her. The weights built muscles that just pushing her chair missed. More strength meant a better chance to win, but she hated lifting. Moving was much more fun.
“I have something I need to transport tonight that’s too big for my car.” He glanced at her, then back at his blasted phone.
“I’m going to take your phone and break it if you don’t stop ignoring me.” She dropped the weight with a harsh clang in its cradle. “Look, I get it. It’s almost Christmas and you’re probably making plans, but can you please pay attention to the here and now?”
He cocked a grin at her which made her wish she could stomp his foot.
“I haven’t been thinking about anyone but you. In fact, I just checked the weather for tonight and how busy it was at the Falls.”
“The Falls, as in Minnehaha Falls?” That’s why he’d tossed an extra blanket in his car before they’d left. “But if you knew we were going to the Falls, and you needed this extra thing why didn’t you just have me bring my van earlier?”
He strode toward her, her strong yet spindly best friend with his turtleneck sweaters and casual jeans. “I didn’t realize I needed this thing until just now. In fact, I wasn’t sure what I would do about tonight until a few minutes ago.”
Excitement built in her chest, but was it to finally see the falls, or was it to go on another date with Duncan? The falls and the kiss were all that was left since she’d never given Duncan all twelve things, and Christmas was only five days away. Her competition was in two. She really shouldn’t miss a minute of practice, but…
“Want to call it a day, since we have to go so far out of our way?” She released the Velcro on her gloves, letting him know she would love to shut down.
He raised an eyebrow. “I think I may have finally gotten through to you. Life is fun.” He rested his hands against the armrest of her chair and looked her straight in the eye. Why did he do that? Didn’t he know what it did to her? “I understand if you want to put in some extra time tonight. The race is Monday. You won’t have any other day you can get in here. I’m sorry I’ve been distracted. I should’ve paid more attention.”
She could hardly breathe with his face so near. It would be so easy to lean forward and… What was she thinking? If she did that, she’d ruin the slow build of whatever Duncan had planned. Maybe he needed the romance of the fun dates, but she didn’t. He was it. Her only.
“I think I’m ready. As long as you’re there by my side.”
He leaned back and his eyes went far away again, cutting off her breath.
“I’m sorry, Isla. I have a really important meeting on Monday. I would be pushing my schedule really tight if I go. I know you can do this. You’re ready. You’ve always been ready.”
Isla felt like the ground beneath her crumbled. He wasn’t going to be there? She’d never raced a single time without Duncan. And she wouldn’t race without him for the most important one. His schedule might be tight, but he didn’t say it was impossible.
“I see. Well, I guess we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.” He’d already moved her to her regular chair; she just needed to change and shower. “I’ll get cleaned up. Why don’t you just take my chair out to your car and I’ll be out as quickly as I can.”
The chair would be the perfect excuse for him to come to her race. She could do her best to divert his attention all evening, and he may just forget it was even there. No matter who he had to meet with, they would understand that she would need her chair for the one race that could qualify her for the Paralympics. Really, it was her last chance. Switching vehicles was the perfect opportunity to forget her chair in his car, so he would have to come to her match and deliver it.
The attendant in the locker room helped her get ready quicker than usual. Once she was finished, she pushed back out to the track and Duncan waited by the door. As many hours as he’d spent with her in the arena, he still didn’t quite look like he belonged. He didn’t work out, wasn’t athletic. But he motivated her, and that’s what made him her perfect coach. That, and she needed to see him, and what other excuse could she come up with?
“Ready?” He smiled and came around to the back of her chair. She’d had time to rest but her muscles still quivered with the strain. He always seemed to know just when she needed him, but never pushed her to accept his help if she didn’t want it.
She touched the automatic door opener and he pushed her to his car. He’d moved it closer to the door since they were some of the last people there. It was chilly, and her breath puffed into a cloud that glistened in the glow of the overhead parking lights.
“I’ll get you in the car and warmed up in no time.” He pressed the unlock button and opened the passenger door. He lifted her in and folded up her chair with the quick efficiency of someone who’d done it hundreds of times. The realization hit that she’d rather have him, who already knew how to care for her, be the one to take care of her as she aged—and maybe not as easily as some.
He slid into his seat next to her and turned the ignition. “We’ll run back to your house, get your van, stop at a friend’s house for something, then we’re off to the falls. It hasn’t frozen over yet, so it will be cold. We won’t be able to get too close. Another few days and it will be a water wall.”
She’d love to see that, but once she’d been there, it would be easy to ask again. Then again, if it proved to be too difficult to manage, she would be happy with what she got. When school friends had excluded her from their trip to the falls, they had said it wasn’t wheelchair accessible. She’d assumed they just didn’t want to deal with the hassle of bringing her. Some people just were that way. She’d decided long ago that if people were uncomfortable around her in certain situations, it wasn’t her job to teach them otherwise. She just moved on.
True to his word, Duncan cranked up the heat and soon it was toasty in the little sedan. The orange lights of the freeway buzzed past the window and a happy Christmas tune played on the radio. Though she did pay him a little for his time, he invested so much more in her than she could ever repay.
“Thanks. For always being there for me.”
He flinched. “I’m really sorry about Monday, I really wish I could come. I want to be there, but I’ve got a meeting with the parents of a teen who’s really struggling. I’ve been trying to meet with them since September.” He glanced at her, but was quick to swing his focus back to the highway.
A twinge of guilt tasted like acid in the back of her throat. He loved those kids. “Didn’t you
say it was almost impossible. Doesn’t that mean it’s still slightly possible?”
“I don’t want to commit to you, and then let you down. I’ve never done that to you before and I won’t start. So, let’s just plan that I can’t make it and if it works out that I can, great. I’ll do my best. You know that.”
She swallowed hard and closed her eyes. Could she compete without him? Hadn’t she told herself over and over that she was good enough to get first all on her own? This was her chance to prove it. Now that the option was real and not just a possibility, all her bravado was gone. She needed him. The parents of the teen seemed willing to talk, so they would reschedule. They had to.
16
The parking lot was almost empty near the falls. In the winter, most of the attractions were closed, especially the best part—the frozen cave—during the day. Duncan got out of the van and came around to help Isla out. He didn’t love driving her van, but the long pole running from the very back of the van, up through the seats in the front wouldn’t fit in his car.
After Isla was situated comfortably, he pushed her chair through the thin layer of snow to the upper viewing area of the falls, right near the parking lot. They wouldn’t be able to go below unless he carried her and left her chair behind. He could, but wasn’t sure he could carry her that far without a rest. Her gasp of pleasure had him pushing faster. The falls were quite a sight, even half frozen.
“Oh! The sound. I never thought it would be that loud. There’s not much water, but the sound just fills my heart.” She clutched her chest and smiled, leaning forward. It felt a few degrees colder near the falls, but there was no way to tell.
“Are you cold?” This was their only excursion where they were basically alone. Every other thing they had done had involved a lot of people and he didn’t want Isla to feel like this was less of an experience than the others. He only had this one left before Christmas to cement her decision.
A jolt of excitement rammed through him. She had to say yes. She’d enjoyed every single thing on her list. But what if it was only the experiences and not him? And what if leaving her to go it alone on Monday soured her? He’d tried so hard to get Jordan’s family to schedule the meeting any other day. Even the morning of Christmas Eve, and they just couldn’t. Monday was their only option. He’d had to choose Isla’s meet or his job. His meeting could potentially save a life. Isla’s meet was life-changing, but had to come second.
“It’s so beautiful, but I don’t understand your need for that cane pole in my van. Are we going to go fishing from up here?” Her teasing laughter warmed his cool thoughts.
“No. The cane pole is for your very last item on your list.” Duncan’s heart leapt into action as he turned and jogged back to the van. He opened the back door and pulled out the long cane pole, usually used for trolling from a fishing boat, and attached a small green sprig he pulled from his pocket. As he approached, Isla laughed.
“That’s not mistletoe, mi gringo. That’s holly.”
He shrugged. It didn’t matter. No one but he and Isla would see it anyway. He’d planned it that way, waiting until night to see the falls. Her eyebrow rose as she watched him lodge the pole between the spokes in her chair, careful not to damage either one.
“So, now what?” She glanced up at the holly, then at him.
He wanted their first kiss—if that’s what this would be—to be on her terms. “Now, we wait for some lucky guy to come along and take the bait.”
She shot him an annoyed glance, then peered around nervously as if she thought he’d really do that to her. “Wait… You’re saying you want me to kiss just anyone?”
“Well, you weren’t entirely specific on your list.” He wanted to laugh at the sweet perplexed look she threw at him.
“Why don’t you just do it?” The lines smoothed on her face and her gaze didn’t waver in the slightest.
His heart tripped, and his palms sweated inside his gloves. What if everything went wrong? Then again, what if they went right? He took the two steps that separated them and landed on his knees by the wheel of her chair. “I want that Isla, but I’ve got to warn you. If we start, I may not want to stop…ever.”
She leaned toward him and he took her precious face in his hands. She was sugar, and spice, and all things worth fighting for. He moved closer and she held his arm at his elbow, tight. Her lips were cool for a moment, then warm, willing, ready. She wrapped her soft, mittened hand around the back of his neck and he reveled in the sweetness of her mouth. Finally, after years of waiting, he’d kissed the woman of his dreams. He pulled away just a little, hoping he hadn’t frightened her off, but the feisty look in her eye said he’d done just the opposite.
“I thought you said you wouldn’t want to stop?” she said, challenging him.
He took the pole out of her wheel and slung it over his shoulder as he pushed her toward her van. He wouldn’t sit there and kiss her in the snow when there was a perfectly warm van a few feet away. Once he had her inside and he’d shaken his fingers to get the tingles under control, he got back in and faced the woman he loved more than anything on Earth.
“I think that about takes care of your list.”
She snorted, then laughed. “Pretty much. But I think you asked for twelve things. I didn’t give you that many.”
There was little time before Christmas, what else could she ask of him? “Well, what else did you have in mind?”
“I know you’re going somewhere special for Christmas, but would you consider coming to my parents’ house too? Just for a while?”
That was an easy one, but he couldn’t help teasing her. He’d made it pretty obvious where he’d be going. “I’m sure I could manage to stop by for an hour or two. Where else could I go?”
Other than work and her, he didn’t have much time. “I don’t know. I guess when we went shopping I thought you were buying for other people.”
“Just your parents, the pastor, and his wife. That’s it.” He shrugged, hoping she would understand that he didn’t think she was silly for thinking otherwise.
“Then, I guess you’ve got my whole list taken care of.”
He prayed she didn’t ask about Monday. If that got added to her list, he would let her down. He’d already explained it, and maybe that was enough, but Isla tended to be stubborn. It was one of the things he usually loved about her.
She smiled and glanced out the windshield. “It’s getting pretty late and tomorrow is your big work day. Best get me home so you can get home yourself.”
He laughed, glad that she’d put Monday out of her mind, at least for the present. “Good idea.” He stuck the key in and turned on the ignition.
The drive back to Isla’s went fast, and he parked the van in the apartment complex’s custom, accommodating spot, back by the long line of garages. He went to push her up to her door.
“Don’t worry about me. You’d best get home. It is really late.”
It was―after dropping off the borrowed pole and landing her back at home, it was after eleven and he had to be at the church early. “I can at least see you to your door.”
She shifted slightly in her chair. “It isn’t a big deal, but maybe we could try a goodbye kiss, at least once?” She smiled up at him, her red coat bright, even in the dim glow from the street lights.
“We’ll try one of those when I’ve done the right thing and gotten you to your door.”
“But once we get in the building, people will see us. It will be like we’re trying to show off. Your car is right over there, and you can watch me go in before you pull away and know I’m just fine.”
While it wasn’t what he wanted to do, he also didn’t want to argue with her. He leaned down and brushed his lips against hers. Now that he was in front of her and her hands were free, she held the front of his coat and he had to brace his hands against the arms of her chair to keep from losing his balance and falling into her lap. He wasn’t sure if a full minute went by or a month, but his head was light when
she finally let him go.
“There.” She smiled and backed her chair up slightly, then pushed her way around him. “Sleep well, Duncan.” She quickly wheeled toward the door.
Sleep? Who could sleep after that?
17
“Would you look at all that snow?” Mama stood by the window and shook her head. They had traveled all the way out to Apple Valley a night early, because there had been reports all day Sunday that travel wouldn’t be advised for Monday. They’d already gotten two inches of freezing rain, and now the snow came down so quickly, Isla couldn’t even see beyond the hotel parking lot.
“I hope Duncan can still come.” She’d banked on the reports being overblown as usual. If anything, they’d been cautious with this storm. How would she ever get her racing chair now?
“He can’t come in this, Mija. The plows are doing their best, but they’ll close the freeways soon. It’s a long drive from the metro all the way south of the river.”
Isla groaned inwardly. Why had she been so juvenile? South of the river was practically a solar system away from the metro area, and in dicey weather...
“He has to come. He has my chair.” Isla bit her lip.
“You never let that chair out of your sight. Why does Duncan have it?” Mama turned, wide-eyed, and faced Isla.
“Well, he explained that list to you when we went to Buca, right? We’ve been doing fun things in the evenings after practice. The last one was Saturday and we had to switch vehicles, and in the switch, I forgot it in his trunk.”
“Why didn’t you ask us to go to church yesterday to get it?” Her mother leaned forward, asking too many questions. If she pushed much harder, she would understand exactly why Isla’s chair was now an hour’s drive on terrible roads away from where it needed to be.
