He remembered when they’d first confessed their love for each other. To his embarrassment, the words tumbled out of his mouth first. They’d been at his house studying for mid-term exams when he found himself observing Sabrina’s profile as she flipped through a textbook. She was always a better student than he was, and the fact that she’d cared to tutor him moved him to admit what he’d been feeling.
“So now I think we should go over the quizzes. You know how Miss Benson said that quiz questions give a good idea of what to expect. Bryer, why are you looking at me like that?”
“I love you, Sabrina.”
“What?”
“I do. I mean it.”
“I love you too, Bryer.”
He remembered how his heart thumped in his chest when she said it. Nothing meant more to him than knowing she felt the same way. They spent months together, which were equivalent to years in teenage time, when out of the blue his universe was turned upside down.
His parents had gone on a road trip to La Jolla for Fourth of July weekend to celebrate their anniversary. It was where his father proposed to his mother while watching the fireworks. On their way home, they were tragically killed by a drunk driver.
Before the start of sophomore year, Bryer had to move to his aunt’s house across town. He’d been so overwhelmed with grief that he found himself pushing Sabrina away. On the day of his move, they had an argument that led to their break-up.
Later that night, once he got settled in his new bedroom, he pulled out the guitar his parents bought for his birthday and wrote Sabrina a song. It was going to be his way of apologizing, but he never worked up the nerve to go through with it. When Bryer moved into his current home, he found the timeworn sheet of notebook paper that contained all his unsung raw emotions. He’d read the lyrics and laughed at how sappy his younger self sounded.
Now here he was, suffering the consequences of never telling Sabrina how he felt. After guzzling the last of his beer, Bryer happened to notice the ungodly hour glowing at him from the LCD stove clock. It was definitely time to end this trip down memory lane.
Chapter Four
The next few days of working with Bryer were awkward. It seemed all they did was avoid each other. Sabrina would be checking in with a group of diners, see him across the room, and after locking eyes, they’d both look away. It’d gone on for a while, but one night Sabrina decided she’d had enough ducking and dodging.
Bryer must’ve sensed she wanted to talk because at closing he sent everyone else home earlier than usual. She’d finally get him alone to straighten things out. They sat at the bar that was normally crowded with patrons, each of them enjoying an after-work cocktail. She was surprised when he initiated conversation.
“I know what this is about, Sabrina.” He’d been looking straight ahead but suddenly focused his gaze on her. “I’m sorry for suggesting that I come over the other night. I was out of line. It’s just so weird sometimes.”
“What do you mean?”
“Even after all these years, I still feel it. When I look at you…it’s like no time passed.”
Not sure how to respond, Sabrina found herself staring at Bryer’s lips, wondering how they would feel if they were to kiss again. Where would his hands touch her now that they were old enough to do all the things they’d only talked about doing? To stop herself from saying something she might regret, she navigated the subject carefully. “Well, you did know me through at least twenty different hairstyles. We have history. How could I ever forget the person who gave me my first heartbreak?”
At that moment, Bryer’s eyes flashed an emotion that Sabrina couldn’t define. She continued, “I’m just glad that I got to see you all grown-up. Speaking of growing up, Amara’s planning this huge birthday bash for me. Hopefully, I’ll see you there?” There was a long, weighty pause before he replied.
“I’m pretty sure I could swing that.” Just then, Bryer got up from his barstool and turned on the jukebox. “But for now…would you dance with me?”
“I don’t know.”
“Just one innocent dance.”
“I’m not sure there’s anything innocent about you anymore.” Sabrina couldn’t say she wasn’t tempted, but the idea of being that close to Bryer seemed a risky prospect.
“Come on. For nostalgia’s sake. Remember how we used to go to those cheesy school dances?”
When his selection began to play, Sabrina immediately recognized the song. It was Marvin Gaye singing the praises of getting it on. The song brought back memories because Bryer had performed a charmingly out-of-tune acoustic rendition of it on his guitar for her when they were dating. “You’ve gotta be kidding me right now. Are you serious?” She cracked up with laughter.
“Sure. Why not? Unless you’re afraid you can’t keep up.” Bryer teased her with a playful smirk.
“Ha!”
“Come on, then.”
Bryer grabbed her hand and brought her over to the club’s small dance floor. He’d always had rhythm, and the way he moved was turning her on. He held her close to him as they swayed to the music.
She experienced the guilty pleasure of his strong hands holding her waist. With that simple touch, Sabrina was instantly transported to the familiar intimacy they’d once shared. Bryer lifted her chin and planted a soft kiss on her forehead.
“I wonder if he even knows how lucky he is to be the one that kisses you.” Bryer’s voice was like a silken caress. “Does he know how you practically melt when your neck is nibbled?” He whispered the words seductively into her ear, making her lose all rational thought. She found she was holding on to him way more than she should be. Then he held her even tighter right before letting her go. Completely lost in the feel of him, Sabrina didn’t even notice when the song ended.
“It’s getting late,” Bryer said softly. “I’ll walk you to your car.”
“What do I do in this situation?” Bryer asked. After coming so close to paradise only to be catapulted back to earth by reality, Bryer called Jake Bartlett, his friend and business partner. He had to get this shit off his chest.
“You grow a pair and find yourself a hot piece of ass to get Sabrina out of your system.” Jake could always be counted upon to dispense his own unique pearls of wisdom.
“Fucking isn’t always the solution to a problem.”
“It works for me. Or let me guess, you need a hug, some ice cream, and a chick flick fest? Sorry dude, but Oprah I’m not.”
“She’s just…I don’t think there’s going to be another woman who can do to me what she does. Fuck, man. It’s complicated.”
“Look, we live in a twenty-four-hour city that’s running rampant with hot chicks. Pussy is an abundant resource, and here you are stressing about one particular female. What for? Do you know how confining it is to be hemmed up by one woman? Like Shawshank, but worse.” Jake was a serial dater, a pick-up artist who could literally charm the pants off a woman and then duck out before the sheets had a chance to cool. If it wasn’t for his keen eye for industry trends and financial acumen, Bryer would’ve written him off as a jackass. As it was, he’d come to accept that he and Jake simply had a very dissimilar stance on women.
“That’s the thing. I don’t think it would be like that with Sabrina.”
“I don’t know what to tell you, dude. But when Ricky Martin comes back into town, you’re gonna have to face the fact that she’ll be with him and you’ll just be left drooling over some chick you once dated. I’m trying to save you your dignity, man. Which brings us back to why you should get it in with another chick so that you’re not so pathetic, just saying. Take it or leave it. That’s all I got.”
“All right, man. Later.” Bryer knew he wouldn’t be taking Jake’s advice, but the conversation did lighten his mood.
Chapter Five
On the morning of her birthday, Sabrina woke up expecting to feel somehow different. At least thirty didn’t look any older than twenty-nine. She inspected her reflection in her bathroom
’s vanity mirror. Lifting her cheeks in her palms and letting them go, she marveled at her skin’s youthful elasticity. After scanning her scalp, she breathed a sigh of relief. There. That confirmed it. Thirty was the new twenty. Not one single wrinkle or gray hair magically manifested overnight.
She stepped into the shower, letting the warm water wash away worries and doubts about her past, present, and future. Suddenly those doubts included Bryer. How could it be possible that a so-called innocent dance could make her so confused about how she felt about Alex?
By the time Sabrina turned off the nozzle and grabbed a towel, she thought she’d gained some clarity. After being alone so much, she’d simply become starved for male attention, and she’d found a very inappropriate outlet for her frustration in Bryer. Yeah, that was it. She decided to brush off all those bittersweet memories of teenage love and focus her energy on a future with Alex.
Sabrina recalled how he came into her life. Determined to stick with her New Year’s resolutions, she’d signed herself up for a gym membership. It was during her first workout that she’d met Alex.
After stretching, she’d started out on an elliptical machine. Sabrina was in her zone. The upbeat music that was playing made the vibe more like a night club than a fitness club. She noticed the man working out next to her. When they made eye contact, her body went from worn out to do-me-now. From the moment Alex said “hello,” Sabrina knew she was interested.
“Do you come here often sounds corny, so I’ll cut to the chase. Would you like to meet up for coffee after this?” He flashed dimples when he smiled.
“Thanks for sparing me that line, and…I’ll think about it.”
“So you know who to call once you decide.” Alex handed her his business card.
“You work here?” Her eyes scanned the card, taking in the name and logo of the gym.
“Not exactly here. I go between this location and a few others.”
“Nice. I see you take advantage of company perks.” Alex’s biceps made the fabric of his t-shirt taut, and his legs appeared as thick as tree trunks.
“Definitely. As much as I’d like to slack off sometimes, I can’t represent a gym and not work out. So what time works for you?”
“I never said I was going.”
“I’m optimistic.”
They’d met up for coffee that day. Coffee soon led to lunch. Lunch led to dinner dates where they enjoyed each other’s company so much they were often the last to leave the restaurant. A month went by, and then another. Everything was great except that they could only see each other between Alex’s trips. He kept in touch, but lately Sabrina desired more than digital communication.
Especially since she hadn’t been laid in at least a month and counting. The last time Alex had been in town, he’d said he was too tired. Before that instance, Sabrina had cramps from hell and sex was the last thing on her mind.
She was combing leave-in conditioner through her damp curls when the phone rang on top of a hamper that was stuffed to the rim with clothes. Sabrina mentally added “not procrastinating” to her list of positive changes to work toward. Since she was running out of time to get ready for her first class, she put the phone on speaker so she could finish her hair.
“Hello, may I speak to Miss Sabrina Foster?”
“This is she.”
“Miss Foster, this is Pamela Bennett from the career placement office at the Art Institute. We would like to offer our congratulations. At a recent open house, your sample project caught the attention of an executive from the Parker Jennings Design Group of Los Angeles.”
Sabrina was struggling with detangling a stubborn cluster of knots at the nape of her neck when Pamela’s words sank in. Parker Jennings was one of the most innovative interior design firms, specializing in both high-end private residences and commercial properties. Their work was consistently in demand, especially since they were known for having celebrity clientele. Her heart began to beat faster.
“Their representative would like to meet with you to discuss the details of a possible internship. If you’re interested in working for the company and willing to relocate, they would love to hear from you.”
She gasped. The comb flew out of her hands. Deafening shrieks bounced and echoed off the tiled walls. Her reaction must’ve been amusing because she heard laughter in Pamela’s voice as she asked, “I take it that’s a ‘yes’?”
Sabrina cleared her throat and pulled herself together. “Yes! Thank you!”
“No need to thank me. You’ve earned it. Give us a call here at the office with the best time to arrange the meeting. We’ll be glad to set up for you.”
Immediately after receiving the news, Sabrina knew she had to share it. She called Amara who had just as much of a reaction as she did. Next, she wanted to tell Alex. He answered in a weary tone. There wasn’t the usual exuberant greeting with his affectionate nickname for her. All the traveling must’ve been getting to him.
“Babe, I’ve got good news. I—”
“Sabrina, I hate to have to tell you this, but I’ve met someone.”
Suddenly, Sabrina’s equilibrium was thrown off. She slumped down to the cold bathroom tiles, feeling a sinking sensation in the pit of her stomach that made her nauseous. “What?”
“Yeah, I mean…I really didn’t want to tell you over the phone.”
“When were you going to tell me?”
“When I got back to Vegas. I was thinking that if things don’t work out with me and her, we could, you know, still have a sort of open door policy.”
“You mean you want to still fuck when it’s convenient for you. Hell no. It’s over.” She hung up. Right after Sabrina disconnected, the screen lit up with Alex’s number. She rejected the call and sent the phone spinning across the floor.
“So now we have two reasons to celebrate,” Amara announced as she lifted her margarita in the air. “Not only is my fabulous, slightly younger sister turning the big three-O,” she said with a wink at Sabrina, “but she’s also landed herself a wonderful opportunity at a prestigious L.A. design firm.” Amara walked over to her and put an arm around her shoulders. “We’re all so proud of you.” She glanced around the crowd seated at the banquet-style table and raised her glass again. “Here’s to Sabrina.”
Hearing her sister say such kind words overwhelmed Sabrina with emotion. Her happiness overpowered the hurt she’d felt earlier. Before she left her place, she’d made up her mind—no matter what, she refused to allow Alex the power of ruining her night. She was surrounded by friends and family who loved her and had gathered for her festivities on La Habana’s second floor terrace to celebrate.
Strands of delicate white lights adorned the colorful columns of the restaurant’s exterior. A subtle breeze stirred the leaves of palm tree plants that sat in terracotta pots at the corners of the rectangular balcony. Sabrina found herself swaying in her chair to the rhythmic sounds of salsa music that carried out into the night air. Couples joined hands and went to the dance floor to bust a move. It was fun to watch her friends and family attempting to do Latin-style dance steps, no matter how adept or clumsy they were. One of the couples stopped to talk with her.
“Happy birthday! You look beautiful tonight. I’m surprised Amara didn’t nab me up to do a radio spot for your party.” It was her cousin Stacey, a deejay and talk show host for a local Las Vegas station. She was accompanied by her fiancé, Cooper. He stood beside her with one hand on Stacey’s hip and the other holding a Cuban cigar. “Congratulations, Sabrina.”
“Thank you both. I hope you’re enjoying yourselves. Now go out there, Stacey, and show Cooper how it’s done!” They all shared a laugh. She watched the handsome couple walk toward the dance floor. Even if her heart was broken, she wouldn’t begrudge her cousin’s happiness.
“Why aren’t you out there, missy? All of this fabulousness is for you.” Amara sat in the chair beside her as she handed her a coconut mojito. “And where the hell is Alex? Did his flight get delayed or som
ething?”
Sabrina studied the mint leaves swirling around in her glass before taking a sip of the cocktail. “Alex…isn’t coming.” Despite her resolve not to cry, tears formed in her eyes. “He said he met someone else.”
“He what?” Her sister’s eyes widened and she appeared to be breathing out steam.
“Amara, I’ll get over it, really.” Sabrina shrugged dismissively. “I’m just not in the party mood, you know. I shouldn’t let it bother me, but seeing folks pair up and share their little private moments doesn’t make it easy.”
“Girl, been there, done that. I’ve seen it from all sides—single, married, whatever. None of that matters. All that matters is that you’re happy. If watching everybody else have a good time at your party is bumming you out…well…I can easily tell ’em all a tiny little fib like…you had an upset stomach and went home to lie down.”
“Really?”
“Really. I’ll make sure to save you some of your cake. Later on when you eat a piece, you’ll feel right as rain. This too shall pass.”
“Oh, Amara, thank you.” Sabrina kissed her sister’s cheek, pushed back in her chair, and reached for her purse.
“Before you go, Bryer called for you.” Her sister reached for the platter between them and picked up a piece of caramelized plantain to nibble on.
“What? He did?”
“Yes. He must’ve gotten my number from the invitation I e-mailed. Anyway, he said he’d tried calling you, but it kept going to voice mail.”
Her phone. It’d probably sustained some damage from its journey across her bathroom. “What else did he say?”
“He said he was very sorry, but he wouldn’t be able to make it.”
“Oh.”
“Is there something you’re not telling me, Sabrina?” Amara’s eyes narrowed at her sister.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” She averted her eyes, realizing her sister’s uncanny ability to read her.
“You do! I saw how your eyes lit up when we went over the guest list. I read ‘Bryer Gaudet’ and your mood changed immediately. You got all giddy, laughing and smiling. I thought it was because you were looking forward to your party, but clearly there’s something else going on here.”
Sabrina's Song Page 2
