'Let go of me.' His words had struck home, crashing through the barrier of hate she'd built up over the years, but the truth about her own actions was too devastating to take in all at once. Especially in the face of his anger. She needed to be alone, to have time to think.
She tried to pull free of his hold, but Bruno mistook her reasons and said furiously, 'Oh, no, you're not getting away that easily. You owe me. My God, how you owe me.' And he began to drag her towards the bedroom.
'No!' Her startled cry was lost as she struggled to get free. 'No, Bruno, please.'
He laughed harshly, a laugh that frightened her more than his shouting had done. 'It's too damn late to start appealing to my better nature. And Ben isn't here as a protection now. I've wanted you again for a long time and now I'm going to damn well take what I want.'
'No. Let me go.' Norrie began to fight him in earnest, angry that he couldn't see that it was all wrong, furious that he should try to force her. 'You animal,' she raged at him. 'Take your filthy hands off me.'
It was the wrong thing to say. If she'd reasoned with him he might have listened, but calling him an animal was like a red rag to a wild bull. Picking her up, Bruno carried her, struggling and yelling, into the bedroom, then started pulling off her clothes, tearing them in his impatient fury.
'You swine!' Norrie lashed out at him, her nails raking his face, not afraid any more but just plain angry.
They fought frenziedly, taking out their fear and relief over Ben on each other. Norrie swore at him, calling him everything she could think of, but Bruno was grimly silent, intent on winning. Her blouse tore open down the front, the buttons flying off, and then she staggered and lost her balance as he tugged her skirt down. She fell on to the bed and Bruno smiled grimly as her legs flew up and he was able to drag off her skirt and throw it aside. His smile infuriated Norrie even further and as he reached out to take off the rest of her clothes, she kicked out at him, catching him in the ribs.
'You wildcat.' He threw himself down on top of her but Norrie dodged sideways and they both landed up on the floor. Bruno pinned her down with his weight and, catching hold of her arms, held them over her head. His angry eyes glowered down into hers as she yelled at him, but then he lowered his head and took her mouth, cutting her off in the middle of an expletive.
She tried desperately to move her head away but he deliberately pressed down hard, hurting her lips, so that she couldn't move. So then she tried to bite him, but he forced her mouth open, violating it.
It was difficult to breathe with his weight fully on her and his mouth over hers, and it only made things worse when she struggled, so that at last she had to give in and just lie there. He didn't let up until she had lain without moving for some time, taking his fill of her mouth, using it as he wanted. Then he rolled off her, picked her up and dropped her on the bed. For a few minutes she lay gasping for breath and didn't start to react again until she saw that Bruno had taken off most of his clothes. Immediately she rolled towards the other side of the bed, but he grabbed her and hauled her back, pulling off her bra and pants. She fought him again then, but he was too strong and too angry. His dark eyes flamed with savage rage as he bore down on her, but there was lust there, too, now, and round his mouth a bleak determination.
Norrie cried out and struggled as he took her, but Bruno held her down as he thrust his body forward. 'You owe me,' he grated into her ear. 'You owe me this.'
She tried to bite him, to squirm away, anything. She could feel him and her whole mind wanted to scream in outrage. But then her traitorous body took over and somehow she wasn't moving against him any more, but with him. Tears gathered in her eyes and she began to cry. Her hands went to his shoulders and her body arched under him. 'It's been so long,' she mumbled brokenly. 'Oh, God, it's been so long.'
They made love as if there would be no tomorrow, as if that night was the last in the world. They didn't talk because words would have shattered their fragile truce. It was much, much too soon for words. Norrie lost count of the number of times they made love, but each was different. Bruno continued to use her roughly at first but as the hours went by he became more gentle, and once she opened her eyes and saw his face lit by the moonlight streaming through the uncurtained window. The anger was gone and in its place there was open need and longing. She wanted to speak to him then, to ask him to forgive her, but was afraid of only rearousing his rage and brutality and so stayed silent.
It wasn't until morning that Bruno slept. Norrie lay beside him looking at him for a long time, but then she slid out of bed, careful not to disturb him, showered and dressed. For a few minutes she hesitated, looking at his sleeping form outlined by only a thin sheet, but then she squared her shoulders and moved quietly around the flat, packing her own and Ben's things. At seven, she let herself out and took a taxi to the hospital.
Ben was awake, and the way anxiety vanished from his face to be replaced by a wide grin when he caught sight of her, was one of the most wonderful things that had ever happened to Norrie. He immediately started chattering away about the nurses and the hospital and the bandage on his leg, and seemed to have no memory about falling out of the tree, for which Norrie was thankful. She saw the sister and made arrangements for him to go to a hospital near Welford to have his stitches out and then carried him outside to the waiting taxi. 'We're going home,' she told him.
He looked at her questioningly. 'Home to Bruno?'
'No, back to our own home. To the cottage.' She sat back in her seat, holding Ben on her lap even though her body ached there and felt bruised, and he settled comfortably against her, content now to sit quietly, so she was able to close her eyes, and remember.
Biting on the end of her pen, Norrie sat at her desk frowning down at the printed forms in front of her. It was Ben's adoption papers and she'd run into a snag. They wanted to know the name of her next of kin. Ordinarily she would have written in her brother's name, but Geoff hadn't even seen Ben since he was a few weeks old and could have no feelings for him if he was so willing to give him up. But there was one other person who had loved him, even if it was for a short time. But would Bruno still love him now that he knew Ben wasn't his? It was a problem she had been pondering over for three days, but she really must send the papers back tonight. Suddenly making up her mind, Norrie wrote in Bruno's name and address, and filled in 'Husband' where it asked for the relationship.
Well, he was still her husband, for the time being at any rate. She had had no word either from him or his solicitors saying that he wished to file for an annulment—but no, it would have to be a divorce after that last, tempestuous night together. Norrie sighed and sat back in her chair, glad that it was done. She'd tried to get a job at three different places today and her feet ached. The car Bruno had bought for her had been left behind in London and all the jobs on offer seemed to be miles from a bus stop. After folding the forms and putting them in an envelope, she moved over to an armchair and kicked off her shoes. It was getting dark and she ought to close the curtains and put the light on, but she couldn't be bothered. Neither did she have the energy to turn on the television set, and it was too early to go to bed. She . was going through the physical actions of taking up her old life, but it all somehow seemed pretty pointless at the moment. Everything did since she'd realised what an utter fool she had been. Her second chance with Bruno had been thrown away out of sheer stupidity and baseless hatred. If only she could go back to that first day when he'd walked into the Welford Observer just as she was going out. It could all have been so different. Norrie rather thought that she was going to go on thinking 'if only' for the rest of her life.
She thought about Bruno as she did most of the time, wondering what he was doing; if he was going out with that girl Katie, whether he'd had the wallpaper stripped off the room he had decorated specially for Ben. Tears of self-reproach and regret pricked her eyes and ran down her cheeks and she let them lie, too lethargic even to brush them away.
It was almost dark whe
n a knock sounded sharply at the door, startling her out of her reverie. Glancing out of the window she stood stock still as she saw Bruno's jaguar parked at the kerb. Her emotions were immediately so chaotic that she was strongly tempted to pretend that she wasn't in, but then hastily rushed into the kitchen to splash water on her face and rub it dry before going to the door.
He was wearing a dark suit and had a pale yellow rose in his buttonhole that reminded Norrie vividly of the bridal bouquet he'd bought her. Quickly she lifted her eyes to his face but his features were set into a harsh mask with only the deeper etched lines around his mouth betraying the emotional upheaval he'd gone through in the last few months.
'May I come in?' he asked stiffly when she didn't speak.
'Oh! Oh, yes.'
She stood aside and he walked ahead of her into the sitting-room, which was still in darkness. Nervously she switched on the light and he turned to face her. 'This won't take long.' His eyes flickered for. a minute as he looked at her face, then were quickly veiled again. 'How is Ben?'
'He's fine. Thank you. He's had his stitches out and the local hospital are very pleased with the way his leg has healed.'
'Good, I'm glad. Perhaps you'd give him—my love.'
'Yes, of course. I'm afraid he's been in bed some time, but if you want to go up and see him ...'
Bruno shook his head. 'No. I deliberately waited until he must have gone to sleep. I didn't want to disrupt him again.' He hesitated for a long moment while Norrie waited, guessing what was coming. But she had guessed wrong. 'And you?' Bruno asked harshly. 'Are you pregnant?'
Her startled eyes met his. 'What?'
'The last time I never checked to find out whether you were or not. I don't want to make the same mistake again,' he told her harshly.
'Oh, I see.' She looked away. 'No, I'm not.'
He let out a small sigh. 'I suppose I ought to thank you for telling the truth this time.' She didn't answer or look at him and he turned to go. 'That's all I came to find out.'
Opening the door he was about to step into the hall when Norrie burst out, 'I wish I was.'
He turned slowly back. 'Sorry?'
'I wish I was. Pregnant, I mean. I—I would have very much liked to have had your child.' She bit her lip, then said, 'Ever since Ben was given to me to take care of I've wished that he was yours and mine.'
Bruno was looking at her grimly. 'What are you trying to say?'
'That I'm sorry, I suppose. Both for now and for four years ago. I've been incredibly naive and stupid, I know that, and I don't expect you to forgive me or—or anything, but I'd like you to know that I'm sorry.'
'Do you really expect me to accept that—or even believe it?' he asked harshly.
'No.' She turned away. 'No, of course not. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything. I should have realised that you're not interested.'
He was silent for what seemed an age and then said, as if the words were torn out of him, 'I was interested for a long time.' Norrie hunched her shoulders waiting for him to tell her just what he thought of her now, then spun round to face him incredulously as he went on, 'And I find that some things just don't change, no matter what.'
'Are you saying that . . . Oh, Bruno, are you saying that ...'
He gave a rueful, lop-sided kind of grin. 'I don't know what I'm saying. I only know how I feel. And that's incredibly lonely and empty. Even you doing your damnedest to make me miserable was better than coming back to an empty flat every day. It isn't home any more.' He broke off and looked at her wryly.
'Nor is this,' Norrie admitted. 'Even with Ben. He—he often asks about you. He misses you, too.'
'Too?'
She nodded and took a gulping breath. 'I was sitting here tonight in the dark, thinking about you.'
'You'd been crying.'
'Yes. At my own stupidity mainly,' she said on a broken, wretched laugh. 'I was so unhappy and so mixed up.'
'Don't let's have an inquest,' Bruno said sharply. 'It's over and the best we can do is forget it if we're to have any chance of trying again.'
For a moment her heart seemed to stop beating and then start again very rapidly. 'Can we—are we—going to try again?'
'It might be possible. But first we've got to get one thing straight; what about Ben? When is your brother coming back for him?'
'He isn't.' Going to her desk, Norrie found Geoff's letter and showed it to him.
'So you're going to legally adopt the boy?'
'Yes.'
'And where do I come in?' he asked grimly, still not sure that he wouldn't get a rebuff.
For answer she picked up the sealed envelope addressed to Geoff's solicitors, her heart thankfully glad now at the choice she'd made. 'Go ahead, open it,' she invited, handing it to him.
He gave her a quick, surprised look and then did as she asked. 'You put my name down?' he said incredulously.
'Yes, because you loved Ben and my brother never did. I knew that if anything happened to me you would take care of him and love him for himself, not because you had to.'
Carefully he folded the forms and put them back in the envelope, then laid it aside and turned towards her. 'Come here.'
Slowly she obeyed and shuddered as he put his arms around her. 'Oh, Bruno, I love you so much. That night ...'
She couldn't go on, but there was no need. 'I know, it was for me, too; the most wonderful night of my life.' He smiled down at her. 'Bar one.'
Tears cascaded down her cheeks. 'Will you ever forgive me?'
'Forgive you? I think I just did. But I don't think I'll be able to forget for a long time, so just don't ever remind me, Norrie. Don't ever remind me.' He held her close, letting her feel his strength and love, and led her over to the settee and sat with her on his lap, gently kissing away her tears. But it was quite some time before he picked her up and carried Norrie up the stairs, to start their married life all over again.
Fatal Deception Page 16
