Holding on to Us

by A. E. Neal

  Holding On To Us

  A.E. Neal

  Holding On To Us (Holding On #2)

  Copyright 2014 by A.E. Neal, All Rights Reserved

  No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without prior written permission of the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

  If you received this copy from a friend, please discard and purchase a copy legally. The author does not authorize sharing.

  This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are products of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or locales is entirely coincidental.

  'Keep You' by J. Rose Alexander, All Rights Reserved 2014

  Prologue

  "You can't keep leaving your shit in my room," I said, tossing a pair of boxers and a worn band t-shirt in his face. "She's gonna start suspecting something."

  "You're so paranoid. She's too busy with her boy-toy to even notice," he said, grinning like an idiot.

  "I swear to God, Zac, if she finds out we've been fucking, she'll disown me as her best friend. Don't you even care?"

  He looked back and forth between the door of my bedroom and me. He slipped the t-shirt over his head, covering his rock-hard abs. "I care, but you're gonna have to tell her about us, sometime."

  "I'll tell her when I'm good and ready. As for you...get the hell out of my room before she comes home and finds her brother wandering around the house half-naked."

  He shot me a sly grin and winked. "Oh, for fuck's sake," I smiled and reached my arms around his neck, inhaling his scent.

  The wounded puppy-dog look on his face got to me every time. His big blue eyes and pouty lip made it impossible to say no. I felt my legs tremble as he kissed me. His tongue danced with mine, and the rest of the world just faded away. I pushed back against his chest with both hands. "Go!" I snapped and he shrugged.

  "So, that's all I am to you? Your fuck buddy?" he asked and I could sense the hurt in his voice.

  He really wasn't anything more than just a friend with benefits. I had made it pretty clear in the beginning that I wasn't ready for a relationship. He agreed, whether or not it was just to get in my pants, but he seemed content with our arrangement. I knew he would never hurt me the way some of my past relationships had, but I was still wary of having my heart broken by the one guy I'd known for almost half my life. If anything happened to ruin the friendship we'd built, I'd never be able to forgive myself, even if it meant pushing him away.

  His icy blue eyes had turned gray and filled with pain when he realized I wasn't going to answer his question. Instead of arguing, he retreated into the hallway and a few moments later, I heard the basement door slam close.

  I sat on the edge of my bed, going over every scenario of how I could break the news to Ally about Zac and I, but I knew in my heart, she'd never forgive me for lying to her.

  Ally, my best friend and partner-in-crime, who I'd known since high school, went off to college and met Andrew. I hardly saw her when they were together, but that was another story, altogether. I knew I was going to hell for thinking it, but I actually wished something would happen to him, just so I could have my friend back. When he died, I felt like part of it was my fault, but I also knew sometimes things happen in life and there was nothing you can do to stop them. When I saw Ally after all that time, she looked empty, soulless and heart-broken. So many things had happened to her, she didn't deserve to lose another person she loved. No one did, for that matter.

  That was the first time I'd seen Zac since his graduation party. He was a year older than both Ally and I, but acted like a twelve year old half the time. "Grow up, Skittles," he would say and I'd just roll my eyes, because he was the immature one. He had tried to play the big brother role around me too, but I had always found him ridiculously attractive, so I never let our relationship get creepy, just in case he ever broke up with Emily, Camelback High School's number one slut.

  Emily eventually lived up to her reputation and Zac couldn't ignore the fact he was with a girl who slept with half the senior class, right under his nose. Zac was blinded by her beauty, although if you ask him about it now, he'd tell you how young and naive he was for falling for her in the first place.

  When they finally broke up, just after Zac and Ally's mom passed away, he disappeared off with a group of guys to make it big in California somewhere. The funny thing was, I actually missed him. I missed his constant nagging and torture, and when no one was around, he was actually nice to me.

  One of my fondest memories of him was when one night Ally decided to spend the night at the hospital with her mom and my parents had gotten into one of their classic fights. The kind of fight where my mom got shit-faced and threw random, inanimate objects at my dad until he'd had enough, packed a bag and left. On that particular night, they argued about me — no surprise there — but this time, it was because they'd found out I was failing out of school. One blamed the other for not paying enough attention to me, the other would say it was because of the people I hung out with...neither of them would actually ask me why I was failing and I didn't find it important enough to tell them. So, I snuck out of my bedroom window, in between the screaming and glasses shattering against the kitchen walls, and joined Zac on the couch for another gripping episode of Dawson's Creek.

  It then became our thing. Wednesday night's, we watched Dawson's Creek and Thursday's was Friends. He'd make us popcorn, and I'd end up falling asleep with my head against his chest or on his lap. That was the foundation for our friendship and the beginning of our friends with benefits adventure. Only, it didn't happen until a few months ago. I wanted to blame Emily for Zac's jaded idea of what a relationship actually entailed, which according to him, consisted of mostly one-night stands, but I knew he had lived up to his man-whore reputation. With or without Emily's influence.

  Truth was, I never thought I'd see Zac ever again, so I was surprised when he texted me the night #HashTag got back into town. We started sleeping together the night his band came back into town. I had yet to break up with Bryan, my flavor-of-the-month, but I was pretty sure he knew he didn't stand a chance with me, once I stopped returning his calls and texts. I wasn't exactly what you would call 'girlfriend material'. Not that I wasn't ready, I just didn't like the back and forth bullshit that came along with being in a relationship, and I knew that was exactly where Zac and I were headed if we didn't start spending more time apart.

  My longest relationship lasted...wait for it...three months. And, oh my God, it was the longest three months of my life. He was a wealthy accountant, and that should've been a red flag, but no, I stuck it out, and tried to give him a chance. He decided he wanted to introduce me to his family in Scottsdale, red flag number two, but mentioned they were very conservative and wouldn't appreciate the love for body art as much as I did, red flag number three. That was all it took.

  Don't ask me to be someone I wasn't, you didn't want to see what happened when asked to pretend to be 'that girl'. My idea was to break up with him in the classiest, most non-childish way. I thought, doing it over dinner at his parents house, was the best idea I had in years. Little did I know, when I pulled off my long-sleeved, lavender blouse to reveal my amazing works of tattooed art, I'd forgotten I was wearing a very much see-through, peach lace bra. Apparently, ole Mama Winslow had lived a sheltered life, because my pierced nipples sent her into a psychotic tizzy. We broke up moments later, and as I took my victory stroll through the front door, that douche bag's dad even had the nerve to give me a 'good game' tap on my way out. Needless to say, I learned a valuabl
e lesson that day: money definitely couldn't buy love.

  It had been the first time I'd seen Zac in years. The moment he went on stage, it was like I was seeing him for the first time all over again. He'd grown up. Not only had he filled out over the years, California life had definitely worn off on him. His hair was gorgeously sun-kissed and longer. He had a bit of scruff on his jawline and his gray-blue eyes sparkled under the stage lighting. I'd joked with Ally for years about her brother being cute, but since I'd seen him again, he wasn't just cute, anymore, he was devilishly handsome. After a night involving tequila and a game of strip poker with the members of #HashTag, Zac and I had drunken, messy sex in the band's dressing room. It was not one of my finest moments.

  Chapter 1

  Brody and Ally had been living together for almost four months. Zac had taken Ally's old room, which had made it easier on us, considering we both cherished our personal space. Zac and I had an arrangement: two adults agreeing to have consensual sex; no strings attached. Period. He knew I was independent and I wasn't ready for any kind of commitment, which he seemed completely fine with. He brought girls home occasionally and I opted out of bringing anyone home, altogether. Not that I thought Zac would mind, but it just didn't feel right parading another guy around him.

  Although, I'd walked in on him and some groupie whore on the couch one afternoon, and lost my shit. I told him how disrespectful it was and how I was going to have bleach my eyes after what I'd seen. I knew I shouldn't have said anything to him while she was straddling him half-naked in the middle of the living room, but I was pissed.

  * * *

  I hauled myself into the shower. My schedule over the past week had been crazy and today was no exception. Two return customers were getting their ink touched up, as well a couple of new ones. I hoped to God they wouldn't want a butterfly or something equally lame.

  By the time I finished dressing and applying an ample amount of make-up to my pale face, I wandered into the living room, just in time to catch the end of The Price is Right. Zac leaned his head back against the top of the sofa and peered up at me.

  "You workin' today?" he asked and I nodded. I sat on the edge of the couch next to him and I could feel the warmth of his body where our legs touched. It took everything I had not to call in sick, just so we could have another bout of marathon sex.

  I fidgeted in my seat and he took my hand and placed it on his thigh. Could I really have a relationship with this guy? I liked him enough and according to Ally, it was getting serious between us, even though she still didn't have a clue who I'd been 'seeing'. I pulled my hand from his and began tracing his forearm with my fingertips. Goosebumps covered his arm and he let his head fall to the side lazily, glancing at me. His eyes were filled with need and something else I couldn't quite put my finger on.

  "I've gotta go," I said and kissed his perfectly pouty lips. I moved forward to stand up, but he pulled me into his lap, forcing me to straddle him. I felt his hardness against me and heat coursed through my veins.

  "We could go at it like rabbits, right here," he said and I laughed.

  "Oh, how romantic of you," I joked, rolling my eyes.

  "I get it, now. Someone's been reading too many of those sex novels. You want all that romantic crap, like in the movies, don't you?" he asked, but I didn't answer. Of course, I didn't want all that shit, but it was always fun to toy with him a little.

  "You do," he whispered into my neck and nibbled at the sensitive skin below my earlobe. The sensation got me hot and bothered, but I knew I needed to put an end to it, before we both ended up naked. Again.

  "Mmm," I moaned, because I really couldn't find the words to tell him to stop.

  He snaked his hands up the back of my tight, black tank top, and once he reached my shoulders, he pulled me down onto him. My ache for him grew again. He rolled the tiny barbell back and forth against my nipple, and I knew I'd lost any kind of self-control at that point. I rocked against him as he nibbled on my lobe. I was so caught up in the moment, I didn't hear the rustling of keys at the front door, until Zac tossed me onto the recliner and rushed down the stairs into the basement.

  Shit, shit, shit! Almost busted.

  I gathered my things and hoped I didn't look as disheveled as I felt. I rounded the corner to find Ally standing in the kitchen. She still had a key to our townhouse, since it technically did still belong to her. Neither Zac or I had it in us to ask for it back and we really didn't mind her company. It was pretty lonely for her at Brody's when he was on the road. We would have movie nights together and she still needed guidance in the clothing department, so it was nice having her around.

  Out of all the clothes she owned, she was wearing that God-awful hockey t-shirt again and I cursed myself for not burning it when I had the chance.

  "Hey," she said as she set her purse on the kitchen table.

  "I thought we already went over this," I began. "That shirt has got to go, hooker." I pulled at the edge of the shirt in question and she buried her nose in the collar.

  "I like the way it smells," she said and I rolled my eyes. She had a glow about her and a gleam in her eyes. I wasn't sure if she just got laid or found out she won the Powerball.

  "What's up with you?" I asked.

  "Huh?" she asked, looking rather dazed.

  "You're all glowy and shit— oh my God! You're not preggo, are you?" I asked.

  "Oh shut up, Ken! I'm not pregnant...but..." she began again, but I was getting impatient while waiting for her to spill the beans.

  "Out with it! You're fucking killing me over here!"

  She held her left hand out and the huge diamond solitaire shimmered against the light in the kitchen. "We're engaged!" she shouted and all I could do was stare at her finger.

  "Congratulations!" I squealed and pulled her into a hug. "I'm so excited for you. Tell me everything."

  She sat at the tiny table and the smile on her face was growing wider by the second.

  "What the hell is going on in here?" Zac, being Mr. Perfect-Timing rounded the corner and opened the fridge door.

  His ass looked especially nice in the jeans he was wearing, and I quickly turned back to Ally before she caught me staring.

  "Ally and Brody are engaged," I told him and he turned around to face us. He had a jar of mayonnaise, some cheese and a loaf of bread in his hands. He set them on the counter and turned toward his sister. "That's awesome, sis. When did he do it?"

  "Last night," she said and Zac smiled brightly.

  "Well, congrats. I guess it's just Kennedy and I here, from now on."

  I shot him my best death glare as he proceeded to make a sandwich. Jackass.

  "I have to know everything," I said, because I really was happy for her. I just thought it was a little soon to get married, but hell what did I know, they could be engaged for the next six years, like Brad and Angelina.

  "I have to start from the beginning because you'd never believe it, even if you were there," she said as she clasped her hand over her ring finger.

  In a nutshell, Brody had gone all out. He had rented a limo to pick her up and take her to some fancy French restaurant in Scottsdale. As the limo pulled up, a string quartet played for her as she stepped out of the car. They drank champagne and he arranged to have a table brought into the kitchen. They called it a 'chef's table', who knew? The chef prepared a six-course dinner consisting of caviar (barf), escargot (gag), and a few other dishes I'd never heard of. When it was time for dessert, he brought her out into the restaurant and the entire place was empty, except for the ten dozen white lilies and a floor covered in red rose petals. Then, he got down on one knee and proposed to her. The ring was brought out in what she called a 'flaming' dessert platter and in the center of her molten chocolate cake was a two-carat diamond solitaire.

  "Looks better on your hand than it did in the box," he said. Ally's eyes widened and we both looked at him in horror.

  "You knew?" we asked in unison.

  He took a bite of hi
s sandwich and nodded his head nonchalantly. Of course, he knew. Why the hell wasn't I in on the secret?

  "He's only been going on and on about it for the last two weeks. I was beginning to think he chickened out," he said with his mouth full of bread and cheese.

  "Close your mouth, that's fucking gross," I scolded him and he proceeded to open his mouth as wide as he could to show off the half-chewed sandwich. It made me gag. Jerk.

  "I can't believe you knew and you didn't tell me," she said and I had to agree with her.

  "It would've ruined the surprise, genius," he said, sarcasm dripping from his voice. Ally punched him in the leg and he flinched. Ha! Asshole, that's what you get!

  I shot him an accusatory glance, but he didn't seem fazed by it, so I turned back to Ally.

  "My best friend is getting married!" I shouted and pulled her up from the table. We held hands like two school girls playing Ring Around The Rosie and jumped up and down and squealed until Zac had to leave, because we were so loud.

  "And I want you to be my maid of honor," she said and I didn't know if I was just caught up in the excitement or what, but tears formed in the corners of my eyes.

  "I'd be honored," I said and wiped a stray tear away.

  I really was excited for my friend, but I was hit with a sudden pang of jealously that made me want to sit her down and talk her out of marrying a man she'd only known for such a short time. But I knew they were perfect together, he was madly in love with her and maybe that's why I was so jealous.

  Chapter 2

  After touching up Big Frank's dragon tattoo, I decided to rearrange my station for the third time. I knew if I sat still for longer than a few minutes, my jealousy would get the best of me. Did I want to be married, someday? Sure. But at the ripe ole age of twenty-three, I felt like I still had plenty of time to find Mr. Right. Instead, I was currently sleeping with Mr. Right-Now and not actively dating anyone. In my mind, there wouldn't be a Mr. Kennedy Allen anytime in the near future. That was certain.