Holding on to Us

by A. E. Neal

  I decided on a pair of leggings I'd had stashed in my closet since Christmas. Ally had bought them for me and I loved the retro-chic pattern. I pulled on a pair of black studded stilettos and low cut, v-neck t-shirt.

  I checked myself about a hundred times in the mirror and I knew I looked fine, but I was so nervous I couldn't help myself. At four minutes to six, the doorbell rang and I took a deep breath and made my way to the front door.

  I swung the door open and there on the front stoop stood Mr. Perfect, fully dressed in hockey attire, like he was the Rattlesnakes' number one fan. Jersey, hat, scarf, you name it, he had it on. He was beaming, his chocolate brown eyes sparkled and he wore a crooked smile.

  He looked down at himself, since I hadn't said anything. "You think it's too much?" he asked.

  I stifled a laugh with my hand and shook my head. Truth was, I'd never seen anyone so excited to go to a sporting event in all my life.

  "You look perfect," I said.

  "I hear a 'but' coming."

  I giggled, reached out and took his hand, then pulled him inside. "No 'but'. I think you look sexy."

  His crooked grin grew as he closed the door behind him. "Sexy, huh?"

  I nodded. He looked absolutely enticing. Even if it was just for show, I couldn't help but to let my mind wander as I imagined him as one of the players, knocking the shit out of other players on the ice. It was hot.

  "Hot," was all I could manage to say, but it was like he already knew what I was thinking.

  He pulled me closer and I could smell his cologne. I tucked my chin into his neck and inhaled. "You smell amazing," I whispered into his ear.

  "So do you." He drew tiny circles on my lower back and I pressed my lips to his neck softly.

  "We should go...or we're gonna miss the game," I whispered again, and he released my waist.

  "You're so beautiful, Kennedy. I don't think there's ever a moment I don't find myself wanting to see you again," he breathed as if he was trying to regain his composure.

  I laughed to myself inwardly, thanking the Gods I still had it in me. Sure, this gorgeous man could melt the panties off my ninety year old grandmother, but at least I still had the ability to cause a guy to pitch a tent in his pants without batting a lash. I caught Deacon adjusting himself as I grabbed my purse off the kitchen counter.

  "Ready?" I asked. He nodded and held the front door open for me.

  I wasn't sure I would ever get used to having such a gentleman around, since Deacon was the first 'real' gentleman I'd ever known.

  "Why thank you, sir," I said with a smirk.

  "Of course," he said, like it was something he always did.

  We walked hand in hand to his BMW and he opened the passenger door for me. Yes! Of course, he did.

  Once we arrived at the ice arena, the smell of fried foods and freshly groomed ice filled the air as we walked through the turnstiles. Luckily, we were just in time to get a couple of beers and some nachos at the concession stand. I pulled the tickets from my back pocket to locate our seats.

  Section T- Row 1- Seat 2 and 3

  I handed the tickets to Deacon so he could lead the way, since he'd been to a few games over the last few months and I'd never set foot inside a hockey arena in my entire life.

  "Shut up. We have glass seats next to their bench?" he asked excitedly.

  I shrugged, since I had no idea what the hell he was talking about. I held my beer in one hand and the nachos in the other, as we made our way down to our seats.

  The team was on the ice, practicing. According to Deacon, this was the one of the biggest games of their season, because they were playing their rivals, the Nevada Ice Cats. The stands were filled with fans from both teams, but the sea of green and navy was none like I'd ever seen before. Kids with giant foam fingers waved them excitedly in their parent's faces, a few fans even had cowbells and three guys sitting behind us had their faces painted in the team's colors.

  We took our seats, just as the lights dimmed. The announcer introduced a local high school girl who would be singing the national anthem. Everyone rose to their feet and listened intently to the young singer as she belted out the lyrics.

  "Shit, guys, sorry I'm late," Ally whispered as she shimmed past Deacon and I.

  Once the anthem was over, Brody turned to face Ally from behind the glass and blew her a kiss. The TV cameras caught the act and there were various "Ohs" and "Ahs" from the crowd. Ally slunk down into her seat to hide.

  "I can't believe everyone saw that," she said as she covered her face with her hand.

  I laughed and offered my best friend a supportive hug.

  "Ally, this is my friend, Deacon," I introduced as she turned, dropping her hands from her face and giving him a smile.

  "Nice to meet you, Deacon."

  Deacon shook her hand and of course, he was still grinning. "Nice to meet you, too."

  Deacon and Ally took their seats on either side of me and the game began.

  "There's no commentator? How am I supposed to know what the hell is going on?" I asked Deacon.

  "Uh, no. They usually don't say anything unless there's a penalty or score," he said.

  His eyes never left the ice as he proceeded to explain what we were watching. All I'd ever seen or heard about hockey were the fights. I'd watched a few highlight videos on YouTube, but I'd never seen them in person. According to Deacon, there was a lot more to hockey than just fighting. I tried desperately to hang on to his words as he explained cross-checking, icing, high-sticking and about twenty other hockey terms. I just listened and ate my nachos.

  "I hope they fight," I said with a mouthful of chips and cheese. Deacon laughed and wiped a bit of stray cheese from my chin.

  "McCabe is their best fighter, you know." I had no idea. He always looked okay, no bruises or black eyes, but what the hell did I know?

  I shot Ally a concerned look and she smiled. "He hasn't been in any fights lately. The refs stop them once one of them hits the ice. I've only seen two so far and I couldn't watch."

  Ah, that explained why she kept covering her face anytime one of the other players would check him into the boards. I found the action of the game exciting.

  During intermission, the team disappeared into the locker room underneath the arena.

  "What do you think?" Ally asked.

  "I like it. Just trying to figure out why we've never been to a game before now. All the hits and rivalry between the two teams is hot," I said.

  "Of course, you'd say that," she smiled and shrugged.

  Deacon had been focused on the cheerleaders, who were just as scantily-clad as those I'd seen at professional football games. Boys.

  "Why didn't you tell me Zac moved out?" Ally asked.

  Ah crap. Change the subject, anything so I didn't have to answer that question. Anything!

  "Ken? What happened?" she asked.

  I took a swig of beer and shrugged. "After I dropped you off, I came home and he had all of his stuff packed and in the car. Said something about needing to have his own place or something, I don't know."

  "Huh. That's so weird. But he does do stuff like that all the time, so I guess I understand." she said.

  Now was my only chance to steer her away from her sudden Zac Q and A session.

  "Number eleven is pretty cute. Have you met him?" I asked.

  She let out a snort and turned to me. She motioned to Deacon who was sitting beside me. "What? It's not like we're exclusive or anything," I huffed.

  "But still, Ken. It's kinda mean. He seems sweet," she said. And the word 'sweet' was the only thing that stuck. In my mind, sweet guys always had a major fallback, something no girl in their right mind would notice until it was too late. 'Sweet guys' were always momma's boys; dependant on their mothers for something like laundry and cooking. They weren't the kinda guys I dated.

  "Kennedy? Are you even listening to me?" she asked.

  "Huh?" I said as I snapped myself out of my internal battle with the 'sweet guy' s
tereotype. "Sorry, what'd you say?"

  "You were freaking out 'cause I said he was sweet, weren't you?" She knew me better than I knew myself sometimes and I wondered why I couldn't find a male Ally equivalent.

  I shrugged. "Well, I didn't mean it like that. I meant he seems different. Not like the other guys I've ever seen you with," she whispered, so Deacon couldn't hear.

  "You're just saying that."

  "I'm not, I swear."

  "Do either of you want another beer or something to eat?" Deacon interrupted.

  Ally and I looked at each other and both shook our heads. "No, thanks," I said as I reached over and squeezed his thigh.

  He stood up, shot us both his panty-melting grin and walked up the stairs. I watched him the entire way..

  "He's so fucking perfect, it's freaking me out," I blurted out.

  Ally laughed and turned to face me. "Seriously, friend. I've never seen you like this. What's going on?"

  "What do you mean?" I asked, but I knew what she was getting at and I didn't want to have 'that' conversation with her. Not now...and not ever, really.

  "Don't play dumb. I know you said it didn't work out with the guy-who-shall-not-be-named," she joked. "But I also know you and this..." she said, waving her index finger between me and the empty seat next to me, "whatever this thing is that's going on between you two, is your way of getting back at him, isn't it?"

  "Who?" I was playing dumb.

  "Who do you think?" She was right, but I hadn't actually thought of it that way, until now. Jeez, thanks, Captain Obvious.

  "Fine. In a way, you're right, but Z—" Shit! I almost blew it. "I mean, guy-who-shall-not-be-named was being a jackass. From the beginning, we both agreed we wouldn't get attached to each other. It was always just sex. And then, he had to go and make it a big deal, and yeah, I might have freaked out a little, but who wouldn't?"

  Luckily, she didn't catch my almost slip of her brother's name.

  "You've always given me such great advice when it comes to guys, especially Brody, and here you are..."

  "What?"

  "You're still in love with him. I can see it on your face when you talk about him," she said softly. In that moment, I wanted nothing but to argue with my best friend, tell her she was clearly delusional, but I couldn't. My heart actually fluttered when she said the 'L' word. Fluttered!

  I could feel my cheeks flush and I reached for my purse. "I've gotta pee," I said quickly.

  "Me too, I'll come with," she said and we hurried up the steps that led into the mezzanine level.

  The nearest bathroom was twenty feet away, but my feet wouldn't keep up with my mind. Then, out of nowhere— WHAM! I slammed face first, right into a fellow hockey fan. The tall figure grabbed me by the arm before I fell flat on my ass.

  "I'm so..." I began, before my gaze traveled up the muscled chest of the man standing in front of me.

  His icy blue gaze caught mine and my breath hitched in my throat. Shit! Shit! Shit!

  "You okay, Skittles?" he asked.

  I dropped my gaze, smoothed my clothes over and nodded. "Yeah, I'm good."

  "Zac!" Ally shouted as she skipped toward us.

  Chapter 8

  Zac

  "What the hell? I didn't know you'd be here. We could've all rode together or something," my sister squeaked as she pulled me in for a bear hug.

  The look on Kennedy's face told me she wasn't expecting to see me either, and she almost looked hurt.

  "Yeah, Brody had some extra tickets at the last minute. So, here we are." I shrugged and shot Kennedy a quick glance over Ally's shoulder. Her gaze immediately fell to the ground.

  "We're sitting next to the home bench. Where are you?" Ally asked excitedly.

  "Center ice, on the other side, about half way up," I said as I tried to tear my gaze from Kennedy.

  And just like a scene from a movie, Kirsten came up beside me and pinched my ass.

  "Hey, Zac. Who're your friends?" she asked and I stood still. Kennedy looked horrified.

  Ally punched me in the arm and snapped me out of it. "Sorry. Kirsten, this is my sister, Ally, and her best friend, Kennedy. Guys, this is Kirsten, my new neighbor."

  Ally reached out and took Kirsten's hand, but Kennedy just stood frozen in place.

  "Nice to meet you, Kirsten," Ally said.

  As if things couldn't get any more awkward, that tool wrapped his arm around Kennedy's waist and pulled her toward us.

  "Oh, Deacon! You have to meet my brother," Ally said happily and his smile turned into a frown as soon as he recognized me. For the love of God, this couldn't be happening.

  "I remember," I said as he held his hand out. I grabbed it and squeezed. Probably much harder than necessary, but the guy deserved it.

  "Zac," he said casually. I hated the way my name rolled off his tongue, like it was a disease.

  "Be nice," Kirsten scolded and I released Deacon-the-fucking-tool's hand.

  He stepped back and wrapped his arm around Kennedy protectively. Her body stiffened and her face drained of color. He leaned down, and whispered something to her. She gave him a weak smile and whispered something back. All the while, my sister was babbling on with Kirsten and I'd almost forgotten they were there. He then released Kennedy and without another word, she turned and walked down the corridor towards the bathroom. Damn, she was sexy. Her ass looked especially perfect in the tight leggings she was wearing and I missed having her tiny body wrapped around me.

  "Would you excuse us for a minute, Kirsten. Sorry, I need to borrow my brother," Ally said as she tugged my arm and pulled me away from prying ears.

  "Why are you acting like such a dick?" she asked.

  "I'm acting like a dick?" I huffed.

  "Yeah, you were rude to Deacon, just now. What the hell?"

  "I can't help it, he's a fucking tool," I shot back.

  "No, he isn't. He's a nice guy and he's been super sweet to Kennedy, so quit getting all protective big brother. You should be happy for her. That last guy she was with really did a number on her. She's a mess."

  Ha-ha! I left her a mess? Surely, she wasn't talking about me. It was blatantly obvious that Kennedy was not a mess, since she was already hooking up with some rich douche bag.

  "She looks fine to me," I snapped.

  "You're a real jerk sometimes, you know that?"

  "Whatever, it's not like the last guy didn't fucking try," I mumbled as she released my arm and walked back to Kirsten. She gave the tiny blonde a hug and waved over her shoulder.

  Kirsten turned and scowled at me. "What?" I asked as she shoved me in the chest.

  "You could've been nicer to that guy," she scolded.

  "No. I don't think I could've," I said and tucked my hand into the back pocket of her jeans.

  "Do you know him?" she asked. Yeah, I fucking knew him alright.

  "No," I lied, but I didn't think I was fooling Kirsten, myself or anyone, for that matter. The girl who owned my heart, just tore her claws into it, once more, and I was done. Well, two could play that game.

  "Huh?" she asked.

  "What?"

  "You said something about two playing that game," she said as we walked through the corridor jammed with people. I hadn't even realized I had said it out loud.

  "Oh. I was just saying there's only two periods left in the game," I said quickly.

  "Oh," she said and didn't say another word.

  I knew Kirsten must have sensed the tension between Kennedy and I, but I didn't have it in me to explain it, so I just left it alone and so did she.

  Chapter 9

  Kennedy

  "Ken, are you in here?" I heard Ally call as I sat in the bathroom stall, attempting to regain my composure. Tears threatened to fall, but I couldn't let her see me cry. Not over him. Not after he'd just paraded that blonde bimbo in front of me. It figured he would've moved on with such a skanky tramp, but I had to admit, she was pretty cute. Not like some of the other girls I'd seen him with and that's what mad
e it even harder to look him in the eye. Knowing he had already slept with her because, well, that's just the kinda guy Zac was.

  I pulled a piece of toilet paper off the roll and dabbed the corners of my eyes. "Yeah, I'm here. I'll meet you outside," I said and I could hear my voice crack.

  "You okay?" she asked.

  No, I wasn't okay. I wanted to climb the tallest building and scream, so the whole city could hear me.

  "Yeah, I'm fine. Just gimme a minute," I said.

  "Okay. I'm gonna go grab another beer. You want one?" she asked.

  "Sure. Thanks," I replied and I hear her heels click as she left the bathroom.

  Crap, Kennedy. Get it together.

  I took a deep breath and flushed the toilet. I washed my hands and glanced at myself in the mirror. My face was pale and my eyes were rimmed in crimson. I looked like hell, but I had to get back out there. I had to face my best friend...and Deacon.

  I rounded the corner and Ally stood with two beers in her hands. "Thanks, friend," I said and took it from her.

  "No worries. You ready to head back?" she asked and I nodded.

  We'd already missed the first few minutes of the second period by the time we reached our seats.

  "Everything alright?" he asked.

  "Yep. Just had to pee," I lied as he leaned over and pecked my cheek. I gave him a forced smile in return.

  "You sure?"

  I reached over and took his hand in mine. "I'm good."

  He returned his gaze to the ice, watching the players intently as they skated back and forth across the arena. Ally's eyes hadn't left Brody the entire period. The way he'd catch her gaze when he returned to the bench was disgustingly cute.

  The Rattlesnakes were up five to three and the rival team looked as though they were growing restless. A player from the other team checked one of Brody's teammates into the boards as he was slow getting to his feet. The look on Brody's face said it all. He was pissed. Within moments, he skated full force into the offending player, knocking him back. He threw his gloves down on the ice and punched the other player square in the jaw. It was the first hockey fight I'd ever seen and it was brutally amazing. A few pulls at the other player's jersey and a right hook was all it took. Deacon and I were on our feet cheering with the rest of the crowd, while Ally hid her face. The arena was full of electricity as fans screamed, "GET HIM!" and "KICK HIS ASS!"