My head was spinning. So much change all at once, I couldn’t keep up. New school, new name, shotguns, not leaving, it was all just white noise until I reached down and stroked the cool metal of my powerful weapon. Just one touch, and I felt invincible, like nothing in the world would ever touch me again as long as this thing was by my side. Knowing it was mine and Buck was there to show me how to use it brought a sense of calm to my soul. With this weapon, I was no longer Maxie the sufferer. I had the determination to say no and back it up if I had to. Most importantly, I could fight the shadow now, and win. Buck watched my silent exchange and nodded his head with approval.
“You feel it, don’t you, boy? I’ve seen that look in your eyes many times before. Had it myself a time or two. Pure motherfucking dominance. Nobody’s ever gonna take from you again.”
“How did you do all this? Why did you?” He thought about if for a second before he answered.
“Your choices were taken from you. All your strength and free will. Kids don’t deserve that shit. I’m just helping to get it back.” I was sure there was more to his reasoning, but I decided to let it go for the time being. I was staying, and I was safe. That was all that mattered.
“Thank you, Buck…I…” Emotion clogged my throat, and I was unable to fully express my feelings over everything he had done for me in just a short period of time. I was no longer alone in the world. I had Buck, and he was all I needed.
“Hmm,” was his only response.
We made our way back to the main house, me with my heavy black bag and Buck with his purposeful stride. I had so many questions I wanted to ask, but Buck wasn’t the type of man to be questioned, especially in the middle of the night without enough sleep. Buck was giving me a chance at a normal life. Weeks ago, I’d been convinced my life was over and I had no future. He had no ulterior motives for helping me, nothing to gain in return, yet he stepped in like a hero, like…a father. I had a future now, something to look forward to. The world was a brighter place. What would I do with my life? What would I become? So many possibilities and stuff to learn. I wanted all of it, as much as I could get.
“Buck? Can I ask you a question?”
“You just did, you little shit.” I guess that meant yes.
“You ever wonder why bad things happen to good people?”
“Hmm. Maybe…before. I don’t anymore.” He was unusually quiet and reflective, so I probed deeper.
“What do you mean, Buck?” I shouldn’t have asked; it wasn’t my business. He stopped walking, so I did, too. When he raised his head to the sky and inhaled deeply before answering, I knew this was going to be a hard question for him to answer.
“My boy was good, kind, and compassionate to everyone he ever met. He took after his mother with that shit, definitely not me.” He gave a quick laugh at the memory and continued. “He didn’t deserve what happened to him. Every fucking day, I wish it was me lying in the cold ground instead of him. The more years passed, the more I realized that the world is a fucked-up place, especially for the weak and vulnerable. Shit happens, boy, but you gotta prepare yourself for it, mind and body, so when it does, face that bitch head on and say ‘Fuck you.’” I didn’t understand most of what he was saying, why the good were always made to suffer. Buck saw the questions in my eyes but didn’t force the issue.
“You’ll understand one day, boy. I promise you that. Until then, we’ll work on making you one bad little motherfucker.”
MAXWELL
I walked all night. The quiet of the empty streets was my only companion while I made my way around town. I should have booked a hotel room for the night. Instead, I thought about the beautiful nurse and the stream of tears that had rolled down her cheeks when I left her. The shit that happened with Heaven was so fucked up, I couldn’t get it out of my mind no matter how hard I tried to forget it. I had no right to take out my bullshit frustrations on her when all she wanted to do was help. The shit I pulled to try and hurt her…Jesus, fuck, if Buck were alive, he’d take my head off and mount it on the front of his bike. It was beyond disrespectful. Buck raised me to protect women, not abuse them. Knowing I was the cause of her tears made me the biggest asshole in the world. Typical Max, lash out on innocent people to make yourself feel better.
None of that shit really mattered, since I was leaving in a day or two. I’d never have to see her again. What the fuck did I care about some bitch I just met being upset over the way I reacted to an uncomfortable situation? She was the one who interrupted my blow job, interfered in my personal business, throwing napkins and shit. I’d been two seconds away from blowing my load, and she had to choose that moment to go to the fucking bathroom for a piss. What’s-her-face was still choking on my cock when I opened my eyes and saw her standing there, crying. That was the strangest part of that whole fucked-up situation. Watching those tears run down her beautiful face while I was getting sucked off did something to me, something I didn’t like one bit. Guilt was an emotion I’d never bought into, not in business or in my personal life. I came to terms a long time ago with the way I liked to fuck, and I refused to apologize to anyone for it. Heaven had so much emotion in her eyes when she ran me down in that café parking lot; she was fighting mad and didn’t give two fucks about all the people watching. She said she thought we were friends, which was laughable. Men could never be “just friends” with beautiful women. Fucking them would always be the goal in the relationship. As cute as her little display of pissed-off sassiness was, she needed to see who I really was and get it through her head quickly that I was not the man she should ever want to be friends with.
The minute I kissed her perfect little mouth, I thought my cock was going to bust through the front of my pants and stab her through the chest. Her taste was intoxicating, a mixture of the coffee we drank and citrus from the gloss on her lips. It wasn’t sensual or loving; that kiss was brutal and animalistic, just the way I’d felt at that time. She needed to know that I was dead fucking serious about her silly idea of being my friend. I walked away from her standing in that parking lot knowing that she would never speak to me again, and the thought of it kept my legs moving for the entire night. I was tired, dirty, and starved by the time I made it back to my car at the mansion. I just needed to rest my eyes for a few minutes before I went in search of a hotel. I’d just climbed inside and reclined the driver’s seat when there was a knock on the window that blew my plan all to shit.
“Hey, brother! Wow, you really look like hell. What time did you get here?” Asshole Jeremy was standing by the window dressed to the nines, wearing a big-ass grin on his face. His timing couldn’t have been worse.
“Fuck off, man. Can’t you see I’m busy?”I threw my arm over my eyes hoping his dumb ass would take the hint. He didn’t.
“Well, um…Max, there was something I wanted to show you. It’ll just take a minute of your time, scout’s honor.” He held up three fingers and took two steps away from the door.
I must really be slipping ‘cause instead of repeating my first response of “fuck off,” I climbed from the car and followed him inside. The mansion was a whirlwind of activity. Staffers were running around, some carried vases of flowers, others were dusting every surface of the house. They never slowed down when we walked past. The party was tonight, and they had to get the place ready. I briefly wondered if Heaven was working today but shook that shit from my head. I was the last person she wanted to see. We made our way up the long-ass staircase. I barely made it on my tired legs but managed to keep up. Jeremy was a few steps ahead of me, tilting his head slightly each time one of the servants passed us in the hall. He reminded me of one of those hot shit preppy kids from back in high school, the ones whose asses I’d wanted to kick. His entire aura was off-putting, his mask securely in place and expertly practiced. He was a fucking weasel, and I couldn’t wait to see what he had up his sleeve.
Jeremy opened one of the doors in the hallway that I recognized as my old bedroom. I stuck my head inside and took a look aro
und. As expected, it too had been remodeled. King-sized poster bed, decorative art work, fresh-cut flowers on the chest of drawers. Everything was perfect. Home and Garden magazine would nut themselves if they saw this place. I wasn’t impressed. I’d always hated that room.
“Antonia had your room redecorated every year you were gone. Of course, she had to guess what your tastes were, but I think it came out well. I wanted you to see it, since you didn’t get the chance yesterday with everything that happened. I hope you like it. Max. It’s all yours.” He waived his arms around like Vanna White from Wheel of Fortune and it was my turn to take a spin of the wheel.
“Thanks, but no thanks. I’ve made other arrangements.” I turned to leave. I’d seen enough of that freak show. Jeremy stopped me before I made it out the door.
“You know, Max, you and I have a lot in common. I was hoping we could establish some sort of friendship, considering our mutual admiration and love for the senator and Mrs. Lancaster. What do you say we give it a shot?” I’d rather put my dick in a blender and turn it on puree than to be friends with that asshole.
“I’ll pass. Thanks for the tour.” Again, he stopped me.
“When Antonia told me she had a son, I found it hard to believe. I mean, she looks too young to have a child my age, but that’s just my opinion. The Lancasters really took me under their wing, helped me out when everyone else turned their backs. Growing up here was a godsend.”
“Growing up here?” He had my attention.
“Why, yes, didn’t Antonia tell you? I moved in when I was twelve, started learning the family business right away, thanks to the senator. Best damn thing that ever happened to me.”
It all made sense now, why they never came looking for me. My parents replaced me, found another boy to play the role of dutiful son and moved him right on in. He said we had a lot in common. Did that mean he’d been to the basement? Did she sing to him the same way she’d always sung to me? The idea that someone else had endured the same torture I had made my chest burn with anxiety and pain. As much as I hated this guy—and believe me, I did—I didn’t wish that misfortune on a dog, lest another human being. I needed to know if he, too, had been a victim of the shadow, if he called to him in times of darkness the same way he called to me. He could end this nightmare by telling me what he knew about the basement and where I could find my tormentor. If he had any idea, the smallest of an inkling, I could leave this place and my mother’s insane request to help her continue to bamboozle the public by hiding my father’s illness. I had to find out one way or another, but I had to be careful. He was loyal to my mother. The last thing I needed was to enrage her even further.
“I didn’t know that, Jeremy, but…congratulations, man, that sounds…nice. So, I guess you’ll be attending the party this evening?”
“Of course. Antonia throws the best gatherings. I always have a great time. You should probably take a nap beforehand. They tend to last until the early morning hours, and I’d hate to see you miss out on any of the…fun.” The fucker knew about the basement. He all but said it, but how much? I didn’t get a chance to question him further. He approached me, stealthy as a leopard, and stood in front of me, way too fucking close. I didn’t move or shove him away as I should have. He was planning something, the sudden spark in his eyes suggestive.
“Tonight should be magical, Maxwell. I look forward to seeing you there.” His breathing was heavier than before. Slowly, he shouldered past me, but his hand lingered long enough to brush past my cock as he left out the door. Every bone in my body screamed at me to run his ass down and beat the shit out of him for pulling that shit. Luckily for him, I had the good sense to pause, think things through, before I acted recklessly. Jeremy was the missing link I needed to get what I wanted. That fucker knew more than he was letting on, but I was smarter. Buck had taught me how to plan an attack, and I remembered that lesson well.Soon, Max, soon.
HAVEN
My Saturdays were usually spent recuperating from the long work week, catching up on some reading, or just lazing around my rented room watching the small television I’d purchased at a thrift store a few years back. It was old, not one of those new flat screen models, just enough to get the job done without having to pay for cable or Internet streaming. It played in the background. The sound echoed off the walls in the too small space. I wasn’t paying attention to it as I sat across my bed and tried to dissect yesterday’s clusterfuck. Thoughts of Max swirled inside my head, so much so, I wanted to take a defibrillator and zap myself back to my senses. His words were so hurtful; like flying daggers, they flew through the air and hit their mark dead center. To say I hadn’t recognized his lashing out as a defense mechanism would be a bold-faced lie. I’d used it myself when I wanted to feel better about what happened to me. My little brother was the recipient of my vicious outbursts. His bright shining little eyes said so much during those moments. I choked on the memories. I wanted nothing more than to turn back the clock and take them all back. He’d never deserved my harsh treatment, regardless of the reasons, but he was dead now, and I was the one who was left to carry those regrets forever.
All this useless moping around while Max was probably out on the family yacht enjoying a cocktail was making me feel really stupid. He was right about one thing: I did get hurt, and I had no one to blame but myself. I thought Max and I could be friends, but I was better off alone. One slip and I got burned. Never again. I jumped my pathetic ass from the bed and set about cleaning my tiny room before the next episode of Cops was scheduled to come on television. The laundry basket was full, so I decided to start there. No use crying over spilled milk. I grabbed it and headed toward the door, but once I opened it, a figure standing there ready to knock stopped me in my tracks. What the hell?
“Mrs. Lancaster? I wasn’t expecting…” She muscled her way past me and walked right inside without waiting for an invitation. Rude much?
“Hope I’m not interrupting anything important, Haven?” She had her back to me, but I got the feeling she couldn’t care less if I were busy or not. She stood with her clutch purse under her arm, showcasing her elegant ensemble of designer leisurewear complete with red-bottomed pumps and demure hairdo. Antonia Lancaster was one intimidating woman. Standing in this small room, she appeared larger than life. I had no idea she even knew where I lived and certainly never expected her to show up on my day off…unannounced. I hope nothing happened to Max.
“Can I offer you something to drink or a chair to sit?” Might as well be cordial. I closed the door and propped the laundry basket in the corner of the room so it wouldn’t take up too much space. This place was smaller than a tuna can, a far cry from the senator’s mansion.
“No, thank you, dear, this won’t take long.” Okay, now what?
“Um…sure…What can I do for you, Mrs. Lancaster?” She finally turned to face me, and there it was, that same look in her eyes she’d had when she introduced Jeremy to Max, a calculating gleam that only meant one thing: trouble.
“You’re a smart girl, Haven, so I’ll get right to the point. I want you to seduce my boy, get him to fall for you, then convince him to go away.” I must have peanut butter in my ears or something, no way had I heard her right.
“Excuse me? I don’t understand.”
“Sure, you do. Let’s not play stupid, Haven.” She smiled in my direction, but it was sinister, like a deranged clown trying to trap unsuspecting children so they could kill them and eat their tiny hearts.
“Fuck him the same way you fucked your cousin Richard. Surely, you haven’t forgotten how it’s done.” She delivered that body blow so businesslike, the use of the word ‘fuck’ rolled off her refined palate like that of an average street whore. Her statement meant she knew about my past, the abuse I’d suffered at the hands of my cousin, but the days of cow towing to the rich were long gone. She could take her job and shove it up her ass if she thought for a second I would agree to that bullshit. I didn’t need my job that badly. There were others.<
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“I’m sorry, Mrs. Lancaster, but that won’t be possible. I’m a nurse, not a call girl. Please consider this my notice of resignation.” I squared my shoulders, determined not to feel intimidated by this woman any longer.
“Oh, Haven, I knew there was a reason why I liked you so much. You remind me of my younger self, before I learned what real life was about. In the real world, you’re either the hunter or the prey.” She tilted her head as if she were contemplating my position on the food chain. “But you already knew that, didn’t you, my sweet? How cruel and unforgiving the world could be?” I hated her at that moment. I wanted to scratch her eyes out and watch her bleed. We had nothing in common, not pain, nor sorrow. She was a snake in tailored clothing, and I refused to be used by her or anyone else ever again.
“I’ll never do what you want. Just leave now, and I’ll forget this ever happened.” I tried to pretend I was brave enough to outsmart her, but she was an unforgiving bitch. I appealed to her sense of right and wrong, of fair and unfair, but she wasn’t listening.
“Oh, Haven, you don’t seem to realize who you’re dealing with, child, so allow me to enlighten you. I know all about your parents, how they died and left you and your younger brother in the care of older cousins. I’m well aware that your cousin developed, shall we say… a taste for the younger member of the Sloan family when his wife traveled for business.” She smirked.
“I know about your poor little brother and his unfortunate death.” She tsked with mock sympathy. She didn’t know the first thing about what we’d gone through in order to survive.
“Tell me, Haven, did you really think I hired you for your exemplary nursing skills? Poor dear. I hired you because I knew the day would come when I would need someone with your special skills to serve my needs. The nursing thing was just a ploy to get you to come and work for me. I could have hired anyone for that job.”
Salvaging Max Page 9
