In a moment of cold clarity, Liz suddenly understood her instinct to block Jack’s involvement with their baby. If she continued, she’d ruin a potentially beautiful and loving relationship between Jack and his daughter. She’d begun to suspect her own behaviour, but to have it presented to her like this was a shock.
‘No, Mum, I guess you didn’t.’
But what about me? She wanted to rail against the isolation she’d felt from her father. If things had been different, would he have wanted to be involved with his children?
‘Was your marriage to Dad a happy one?’ Liz knew how it had looked from her point of view, but now she wanted to know how it had been from her mother’s side. If her parents had believed they were happy then what did it matter how it seemed to someone else?
‘Happy?’ Her mother looked startled, as though the concept was completely alien.
The kettle screamed.
‘Yes. Did Dad make you happy?’ Even to her own ears there was a desperate quality to the question. ‘You must have been in love when you got married.’
The silence stretched as Patrice spooned tea leaves into the pot and added boiling water. She kept her eyes focussed on the cups on the bench then reached out to align the handles of the cups.
Was she hoping the question would go away? Liz wondered with grim amusement.
‘Mum?’
‘Oh, for heaven’s sake.’ Her mother gave an exasperated sigh. ‘Perhaps it’s time you knew. What I was when I got married, Elizabeth, was pregnant.’
‘Yes, I know, but—’
‘How do you know?’ Her mother’s face flushed and then went chalky white. ‘I never told you. Your father certainly wouldn’t have told you.’
‘Simple arithmetic. I worked it out in high school. But surely…that’s not why you got married?’
Her mother’s mouth pinched unattractively.
Liz’s heart lurched as she tried again. ‘Well, not the only reason. Mum?’
‘It’s really none of your business.’
‘Well, yes, I think it might be my business,’ said Liz slowly. ‘We were never a cosy, loving family and I need to understand why not. You see, that’s what I want for my child. A cosy, loving family.’
Her mother glared at her. ‘Children need discipline and stability, not wishy-washy sentiments.’
‘I think they need both.’ She thought again of Jack’s traumatic upbringing and what he’d had to conquer to become the man she’d married. ‘I think they especially need to know they’re loved and wanted for themselves.’
‘Are you telling me your father and I didn’t do a good job of bringing you up?’ Patrice’s voice was scratchy and high with tension.
‘No, I’m—’
‘You and your brother are both well-educated adults. And you have a useful career, don’t you? One that you wanted.’ Knuckles gleamed whitely in her mother’s clenched fists. ‘Who was it who put you through medical school and made that possible?’
‘You and Dad. But—’
‘You’re very lucky, aren’t you, Elizabeth? With your doting husband and your career and now your tidy little pregnancy and plans. It will be interesting to see how you juggle your precious career and marriage once you have a child.’
Liz took in a shaky breath, feeling the fine tremors in her muscles from the adrenalin charging around her system. She seemed to have pushed her mother into uncharacteristic candour. The brutal honesty of the words was exposing so many of her own fears that Liz quailed momentarily. But if she wanted to know anything, now was the time to ask.
She met her mother’s eyes across the bench. ‘You didn’t want children? You and Dad? Was Dad angry when you got pregnant?’
‘Don’t be naive, Elizabeth. Your father was a lot like you. He was fond of tidy little plans, too. I ruined them.’
‘But attitudes towards pregnancy weren’t so dogmatic then, were they?’ Liz forced the words out of her dry mouth. ‘Didn’t you both have other options?’
‘Your father was a Dustin in a country town named after his forebears, Elizabeth. His mother made sure he did the right thing. There was no other option.’
‘I see. I—I don’t think I’ll have time for that cup of tea after all, Mum.’ Liz managed a tight smile. ‘I’ll see myself out.’
She was running away. Her system felt battered by the confrontation. Emotional pain lanced through her with such strength that it manifested physically, leaving her so nauseous that her abdomen ached. She’d judged Jack unprepared for parenthood but suddenly her own inadequacy seemed insurmountable.
Her hand trembled as she slotted the key into the ignition. She wanted to go home, curl up on the bed and forget the morning.
More than anything she wanted Jack. But how could she turn to him right now? She’d trapped him as surely as her mother had trapped her father. The enormity of what she’d done would overwhelm any comfort she might derive from his reassurance. What hope did the future hold for them with these handicaps from the past?
She drove slowly, glad of the concentration demanded by the winding road through to the McLeods’ property. Aunty Peg’s undisciplined garden seemed to tumble across the ground to greet her as she pulled up in the driveway.
She sat for a moment, enjoying the sprawling friendliness before scrambling out of the car with her bag.
‘Liz!’ A large elderly woman in overalls hurried along the path towards her. A moment later Liz was enveloped in a huge hug from Jack’s great-aunt.
‘Aunty Peg.’ The warm welcome brought quick tears to her eyes.
‘It’s grand to see you.’ The woman stepped back and held her at arm’s length. ‘You’re looking bonnie as usual, lass. A little peaky mebbe. Is that grandnephew of mine looking after you now? He was up here last week, organising his boys to do some burning off for us. But what’re you doing way out here with this storm brewing? I’ve just had Jack on the phone, trying to find you.’
For the first time Liz became aware of the iron-grey clouds boiling across the sky. She suppressed a shiver. How had she not noticed the change earlier? Had it so matched her dark mood she’d been oblivious?
‘Och, and here’s me not taking a breath so you can answer me. Come through and see Ron. Have you time to have a brew with us, then?’
‘That would be lovely.’ Bag in hand, she walked up the path with the elderly woman.
‘How have you been feeling?’
‘I’m slowing down, Aunty Peg.’
‘Little wonder. It can’t be long now.’
‘Another three weeks.’
‘That long? I’d be surprised. The babe’s dropped. Och, but you don’t need me to tell you that.’
‘I think this will definitely be my last visit before the baby comes.’ She rested her hand on her stomach.
‘Aye. I think so, too.’ Aunty Peg ushered her into the small cluttered entrance. Delicious smells of fresh baking greeted them. ‘Go through to the lounge, Liz. I just need to wash up.’
Liz walked down the dark, narrow hallway and paused in the lounge doorway a moment to appreciate the view out the huge picture window that dominated the room. Stormclouds shrouded the hills, blocking the usual view of the distant mountains.
‘Ron!’ bellowed Aunty Peg from the other end of the hall. ‘Look who’s come to see you, then.’
A gnome-like face appeared around the edge of a recliner.
‘Lizzie! How’s my favourite doctor?’
‘I’m good, Uncle Ron. How’s my favourite patient?’
‘Top of the world, lass. I feel like an auld fraud with everyone’s fussing.’
‘Since I’m here I might as well check you over.’ Liz methodically ran through her examination. Focussing on the routine task restored her equilibrium and she was delighted to find Jack’s great-uncle much better than expected.
‘You’re getting plenty of rest?’ She packed up her gear as Aunty Peg pushed the tea trolley into the room.
‘Och, why would I want to be doing
that, Lizzie, lass? Plenty of time for that.’ His lined face wrinkled into a puckish grin. ‘Got to enjoy life while I can, don’t I?’
‘You do.’ She popped a kiss on his forehead.
Liz sat, enjoying a cup of tea, listening to the gentle banter between the couple.
‘It’s our fifty-third wedding anniversary next month,’ said Ron.
‘Och, she knows that. Do you no’ remember she met our Jack at our fiftieth?’
‘So I did.’ Liz looked at the beaming faces of her unlikely cupids. Did she and Jack have the staying power to see such a milestone in their marriage?
Jack. Suddenly, she wanted the hug she’d felt so undeserving of after her visit with her mother.
‘I’d better go.’ She put her cup on the coffee table. Bracing her back, she stood carefully, huffing out a breath at the discomfort that caused her lower body.
‘Liz, are you sure you should be driving, lass? Can I no’ ring Jack and get him to come for you?’
‘No, thanks, Aunty Peg. It’ll only take me a bit over half an hour to get home.’
‘Och, closer to an hour. But I suppose there’s no arguing with you, is there? There’s a box on your passenger seat with eggs and fresh veggies. I’ve put a parcel of nappies there as well from my last grandchild. They’re all freshly laundered for you. And there’s a wee present for the bairn, lass,’ the elderly woman said as they walked out to the vehicle.
‘Oh, thank you, Aunty Peg. You’re very kind. I should open it before I go.’
‘No, you should not. Unless you’ll change your mind and let me get that bonnie man of yours up here to take care of you.’
Liz hesitated briefly, but some instinct was pushing her on. She had to get to Jack. She needed him. Waiting didn’t feel right. She had to keep moving.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
JACK paced to the open doors of the station. Banks of sullen, charcoal clouds pressed down over the hills. Wispy fingers of dingy grey trailed threateningly towards the earth. The atmosphere was oppressive and still.
Behind him the tankers were ready to go, crouched on the concrete floor of the shed. But it was unlikely they were going to be needed today with the high humidity.
He spun on his heel and strode back into the station.
‘Any calls?’
‘Nup.’ Danny looked up from the sports section of the newspaper. ‘Not since you asked five minutes ago. What’s the problem?’
‘Liz.’ Jack sighed, feeling his frustration grow as he ran a hand down his face. ‘She’s gone out to visit Aunty Peg and Uncle Ron. She wanted to do it before the baby arrives.’
He stalked over to the large wall map. His eyes traced the winding road around the terrain contours to the McLeods’ from Patrice’s place, picturing in his mind the lowest points. The road was almost a private one through to the McLeods’ and then not much more than a fire track after that. The only other dwelling was Ernie Thomas’s weekend shack about halfway between the two gullies. If the storm broke while Liz was out there…
Where the hell was she?
And how was she?
The last couple of weeks had been tough for her. She’d been grumpy and trying so hard not to show it. Didn’t she think he could take it? He smiled tightly. Compared to his mother in a savage mood, Liz was a honey.
He knew she was struggling physically, not sleeping properly. He’d been waking regularly to find her wandering the house. He knew she tried hard not to disturb him. And she didn’t. A sort of sixth sense alerted him when she wasn’t in bed. He’d offered to sleep in the spare room again if it’d make it easier for her to rest, but she’d been adamant that she didn’t want him to move. He’d been gratified to know she wanted him close. Because that’s exactly where he wanted to be.
‘Give her a ring,’ said Danny, interrupting his thoughts.
‘I’ve tried.’ Several times. He’d tried Aunty Peg as well, but the line had been engaged. He turned away from the map. ‘Her mobile’s out of range or turned off.’
He’d got through to her mother, spoken to the charming Patrice. He knew approximately what time Liz had left there. She should be well and truly at Aunty Peg’s by now. Maybe even on her way back.
But what sort of mood had she been in after visiting her mother? Patrice had been typically unhelpful. Though he had learned that Liz had been asking questions. Personal, impertinent ones that had definitely ruffled his usually cool, controlled mother-in-law.
So, how was Liz?
Jack hated the thought of her running around the countryside upset after a confrontation. He cursed himself for not taking more notice of her distraction that morning. She’d seemed uncertain, almost…guilty? Had she been planning then to tackle her mother about those personal questions? If so, he had the feeling that she’d already begun doubting the wisdom of her intentions.
He checked his watch again. Great. Another ten minutes had passed.
His adorable, dedicated, serious wife wasn’t the sort to take stupid chances. But perhaps the scene with her mother meant she hadn’t been thinking clearly. Add that to her advanced pregnancy and lack of sleep—she needed to be cared for, damn it, and he had the growing sense he was failing to do that.
He huffed out an impatient breath and glared at the map again as if that might help him see her location. The impotence of not knowing where she was, how she was, drove him crazy. If there was no problem, he was going to throttle her when he got hold of her for worrying him like this.
Enough. He wasn’t going to hang around wondering what the hell was happening. He’d try Aunty Peg’s number again and then he was going out to hunt for Liz. The phone in his office rang as he reached for it. He snatched it up.
‘Dustin Fire Station.’
‘Jack?’
‘Aunty Peg. Is Liz there?’ Jack was aware of the station radio crackling into life in the room behind him.
‘That’s what I wanted to talk to you about, Jack.’ It was a measure of his great-aunt’s anxiety that she didn’t chip him about his abrupt greeting. His own sense of dread rocketed higher. ‘She left here a wee while ago and I’ve no’ been able to raise her at home. It’s been teeming down for the last half an hour. I’ve been trying to get our Ian, but he’s away up the hill. You know what those gullies on our road can be like in the wet. She’s no’ long to go now till the bairn and I’m worried about her. No’ that she was compleenin’, but I thought she seemed a bit poorly. She’s a stubborn wee thing, your darlin’ wife.’
‘She is,’ he said grimly. ‘I’m on my way.’
‘Och, that’d be a load off my mind. I’ll no’ keep you, then. Let us know when you’ve found her.’
‘I will, Aunty Peg. Thanks.’ He cut the connection and punched in the number for the station’s stand-by volunteer.
‘Jack?’ Danny appeared in the doorway, a sheaf of papers in hand, his face creased with concern. ‘Didn’t you say Liz has gone up to the McLeods’ place?’
‘Yes.’
‘A flash flood warning has just come through for that whole area.’ He glanced at the papers again. ‘Supercell activity has caused big dumps in the high country. And the system’s coming this way so we’re in for a hammering.’
‘Right, thanks.’
Danny hovered in the doorway as Jack outlined the situation and his plans to the volunteer.
‘Bill’s on his way in.’ Jack tried Liz’s mobile number one last time as he spoke. No reply. He crashed the receiver back into the cradle. His wife was going to be the death of him.
‘Yep, no problems. We can hold the fort.’ Still talking, Danny followed him out of the station house. ‘Don’t you worry about anything this end. Go and find your missus.’
‘Thanks.’ Jack slid behind the wheel of his vehicle.
‘Stay in touch and let us know if we can do anything.’ Danny shut the door, his fingers gripping the sill of the four-wheel drive’s open window for a moment as his face screwed into a grimace. With a quick hard nod, Danny released th
e door. ‘Good luck, mate. You just bring her home safe.’
‘I will,’ Jack vowed.
A malignant yellow glow tinged the early afternoon light as Jack drove through town. He was just passing Patrice’s place when rain started lashing the car. It got steadily worse as he travelled closer to the hills.
He’d feel like an idiot if he battled his way up to the McLeods’ and Liz was tucked up at home with a good book. But a deep, primal urge pushed him on to find her. His mate was in peril and he had to forge his way to her side.
Hunching forward, he drove with grim concentration, negotiating the winding road as quickly as he dared. The wipers worked hard to sweep away the water sluicing across the windscreen.
No sign of Liz. He’d been half expecting, half hoping to find her broken down at the side of the road.
At last, Green Gully. Murky brown water swirled sluggishly across the road. A huge gum tree, which had fallen into the gully downstream, slowed the current. He stopped at the edge, staring across the expanse as he reviewed what he knew of the road. As he watched, he was dismayed to see the level rise unmistakably. If he was going to cross, it had to be soon.
He swore softly. Where the hell was Liz? Had she already crossed? At least it appeared she hadn’t tried to get through here while the level was high. The hand he lifted to wipe his face shook slightly, making him realise just how afraid for her he was.
The rain stopped, suddenly giving him clearer view in the rapidly dimming light.
He had to go.
Now.
Slotting the vehicle into four-wheel drive, he took a deep breath and released the handbrake. The vehicle rolled slowly forward and began the painstaking crawl through the water. He could feel the tug on the steering as the pressure of the current pushed against the panels. Using all his self-discipline, he kept the engine revs constant. The temptation to hurry was nearly irresistible.
His heart lurched and his hands tightened on the wheel as the rear slewed slowly sideways. A split second later the front wheels gained traction and he began to climb the slope at the other side.
Once clear of the water, he stopped and exhaled the breath he hadn’t realised he’d been holding. Liz’s sedan wouldn’t have coped with this sort of treatment at all.
Bride on the Children's Ward / Marriage Reunited: Baby on the Way Page 32
