by Amy Hopkins
“’Junk?’” Cisco asked bemusedly.
“Yeah. You know.” Penny gestured to her nether regions. “Junk. Meat and potatoes. Knackers and tallywhacker?” She tried to stay deadpan, but couldn’t keep her giggles from erupting as Cisco’s eyes widened.
“I can’t even tell you how much I love the Australian language,” he said, awed. “Will you teach me?”
Penny looped her arm through his. “Stick with me, kid, and I’ll turn you into a fair dinkum yobbo.”
“That’s a good thing, right?” Cisco asked. When Penny clamped her mouth shut, he tugged on her arm. “A yobbo? Yobboes are good? Like, they’re really cool Australian dudes?”
“Sure.” Penny rubbed her face to hide the grin. “Really cool.”
Cisco pursed his lips, then shook his head. “I feel like you’re setting me up. Hey, did Amelia tell you about dinner?”
“Dinner?” The sudden change of subject took Penny a moment to process. Still, when she double-checked her recollections, she had to shake her head. “I know she said a cousin of hers was going to arrange something, but I don’t know any more than that.”
“There’s a really cool pub at the back of the Baghdad Theatre. He said to meet him there tonight.” Cisco ducked his head, cheeks pink. “I think there are others going, but I don’t know any of them. You in? We can share an Uber.”
“Sure,” Penny said. “I’ll even teach you some Australianisms on the way so you can impress the girls.”
Cisco punched the air with a hiss of satisfaction. “I’ll be the best yobbo there!” He spoke with an exaggerated Australian drawl that sent Penny into uncontrollable laughter.
“You...you do...you do that, Cisco,” she gasped. “Oh, my God, I...can’t breathe.”
Cisco chuckled, despite having to hold Penny up so she didn’t collapse in the hallway. The pair caught a few strange looks from passing classmates, but all Penny could do was wipe the tears from her eyes.
The rest of Penny’s afternoon was spent nestled in the Academy’s library. Apart from the wide range of books, Craster had mentioned that the computer in the corner—one Penny hadn’t noticed on her initial tour—had access to a government database setup to catalog the verified sightings since the Veil had been pierced.
Access I’ll lose at the end of the semester. Despite her thorough enjoyment of the last two days, her resolve to take the money and run hadn’t softened. I’m here to learn how to protect Boots, not qualify for a cushy job working for the American government.
She quickly figured out how to use it. The password was written on a Post-it note stuck on the screen, and the system itself was clunky and counter-intuitive but reminded Penny of the outdated software used in her old high school library.
With that in mind, she managed to navigate to the section she was looking for.
Southern Hemisphere > Oceana > Australia
She clicked through to the list of confirmed creature sightings and brought up the first listing for Rainbow Serpents. As it loaded, she absentmindedly fondled Boots’ head with her hand. The serpent nuzzled it, still looking sleepy despite her long nap during the Folklore class.
Mythological source: Dreamtime legend
Sightings: four recorded, two confirmed
Locations: Alice Springs, Dalby, Larrabee, Uluru
Penny navigated to the Dalby listing. She had already figured out that the underlined locations were linked to verified reports.
Rainbow Serpent, Dalby. Superintendent Jamie Walker, AFP.
Reporting agent observed the subject near a local watering hole while on medical leave. The subject was initially still, but roused at the sound of a child in distress on the other side of the body of water. Agent claims the child, estimated age three, had slipped into fast-flowing water. Agent prepared to rescue the child, but the serpent appeared near the child “near-instantly” and proceeded to act as a flotation device, helping the child to safety. Subject then returned to its spot on the rock with similar speed.
Agent claims the distance traveled underwater was several hundred meters, and despite the subject clearly being an aquatic creature, it was not a distance possible to cross in such a short time. The agent also claims that upon subject returning to the rock, no water residue was seen.
This, in combination with a previous unverified sighting, suggests the subject possesses the ability to translocate within water sources.
Penny sat back, thinking. She already knew Boots could use water as a kind of portal to other locations, and she had no doubt the serpent would run to the rescue if Penny needed it. It was something else that had caught her attention.
“Boots, are you cold?”
Boots lifted her head slowly, then tucked it into the coils of her body.
Penny bit her lip. Boots had been a little slower than usual since arriving in Portland, but her sleepiness today was unusual for her. Normally, Boots would happily laze on Penny’s shoulders or curl up by a sunny window but would be awake and alert for most of the day.
“Let’s get you warmed up, my love.” Penny closed down the program she was using, making a mental note to go back to it later. She wanted to see what was written about her under the Larrabee section.
Hefting a reluctant Boots into her arms, Penny headed for the one person she could rely on being where she was supposed to.
“Cook?” Penny stuck her head into the dining room.
“You’re a bit early for dinner, love, and too late for lunch.” Rather than poke her head through the window, Cook pushed through the swinging door to the side, brandishing a flour-coated spoon. She spread her hands apologetically. “I could find you some biscuits if you’re hungry?”
“No, I’m not,” Penny reassured her. “It’s Boots. I think the weather is a bit much for her. I wondered if you have anywhere warm she could stay for a little while? She won’t be any trouble, I promise.”
Cook eyed the serpent, who coiled up even tighter under the scrutiny. “Well, I suppose. I was about to put one of the ovens on for a big ham I’m doing for dinner. Won’t hurt to pop it on a bit early.” She waggled the spoon at Boots. “Come on. We’ll have you warm and toasty in no time. Just don’t you be climbing on the counters, or you’ll get scorched. I don’t think your young lady would like that, now, would she?”
“Go on, Boots,” Penny insisted. To her relief, Boots uncurled and slithered to the ground.
“I have some old rice I can stitch into a bag,” Cook said, holding the door open for her. “I can warm it up for her to sleep on tonight if you want?”
“That would be wonderful,” Penny gushed. “Thank you, Cook!”
Shaking off her usual worry at being separated from her friend, Penny left the dining room. She hesitated. The computer file beckoned her, but now that Boots was taken care of, she realized the serpent wasn’t the only one suffering from the cold weather.
“If you can’t find a warm spot, make one,” she decided. Penny jogged upstairs to the dorm rooms and soon came back downstairs, dressed for a run.
Cisco greeted her with a wave. “Going out?”
“Shaking out the collywobbles,” Penny explained.
Cisco nodded slowly. “I’m going to pretend I know exactly what that means. Good luck!”
Bracing herself as she stepped outside, Penny wondered if it really had been a good idea. Chill winds tore at her lungs and her gait was wobbly, muscles trembling from the cold. It didn’t take long for her to warm up, though, and by the time she came back an hour later, a thin sheen of sweat coated her body, and the sense of claustrophobia had vanished.
She stopped in the dining room to check on Boots.
“Oh, you’re a good girl, you are. Such a clever thing!” Cook’s crooning voice filtered from the kitchen.
“Cook?” Penny called.
“Come in, dear! Your wonderful Boots has been such a help.”
Penny pushed the swinging door open and stepped into the heat of the kitchen. Cook stood at the counter, st
irring a pot with one hand and scratching Boots’ enthusiastic head with the other. “What kind of help?” Penny questioned.
“You wouldn’t believe it if I told you!” Cook dropped the spoon and strode to a large cupboard, Boots slithering off the counter to follow at her heels. Cook yanked the door open, and Penny peered inside. The shelves were neatly stacked with bags of flour, spices, canned goods, and baskets of produce. All except the bottom shelf—it was stripped bare except for a messy pile of debris in one corner. “I had no idea we had an infestation.”
“Infestation?” Penny asked, feeling a little green. She hated mice.
“Oh, they didn’t touch anything we used for meals. It was all my spare flour bags. Those rotten little rodents were nesting down there, right at the back. Your Boots was only in here for about ten minutes when I opened it to get the marmalade. She darted in and made such a fuss! I was ready to chase her out when I saw her push a bag of rye over, and lo and behold, a furry little beast shot out.”
“That’s disgusting,” Penny said, skin crawling. Then she winced. “No offense.”
“Oh, they’re foul little things, all right. But your Boots snapped them up in a couple of bites. If she hadn’t found them, it could have been a much worse problem.” Cook nodded happily. “I’ll have the kitchen pulled apart and cleaned properly, don’t you worry. But your sweet Boots is welcome anytime.”
Penny thanked her, happy Boots was now alert and back to her normal self. “Are you coming with me?” she asked.
Boots let out a hiss as her body undulated. A moment later, she had wrapped herself into a messy coil, little face peeking out to stare at Penny between the ropes of her body.
“Fine. Traitor.” Penny knelt and scratched the serpent’s back as a sign of goodwill. “I’m off for a shower. Come up when you’re done, you big sook.”
As Penny headed to the dorms, her steps were light, and a smile pulled at her lips. Boots was happily settled, and her run had shaken off the dreariness of the weather. She almost—almost—wished she were staying.
Chapter Five
Penny tugged the hem of the slinky red dress down and pulled her jacket a little tighter.
“You look great,” Cisco assured her for the third time.
Penny blushed. She’d spent the entire Uber ride complaining that the dress wasn’t long enough and that she’d never worn anything so revealing before. “Thanks.”
At least she didn’t look out of place amongst the patrons swarming the Baghdad Theatre. They were varied enough that almost anyone could fit in—some in jeans and old t-shirts, others dressed as if for a 1920s flapper convention.
Cisco noticed the group of girls in retro dresses and eyed them appreciatively. “Wonder if they’re with us?” he asked.
Penny snorted. “Keep dreaming.” She looked around, overwhelmed by the bright lights and the cluster of people sitting outside nursing beers and cocktails. “Where to?”
“This way.” Cisco took her elbow and guided her through the crowd. A few moments later, Penny’s eyes stretched up to an incredibly high ceiling, trying to take in the rich balustrades and bright mural of the pub.
“Cisco! Penny, over here!” Amelia waved from a long table already crowded with guests. “Tammy, shove off. These seats are taken.”
The blonde girl next to Amelia rolled her eyes but quickly vacated her seat. Penny gratefully slid in next to Amelia, Cisco beside her. “Thanks.” She peered over Amelia’s shoulder at the menu. “How’s the grub here?”
“That means food,” Cisco interjected. He looked around smugly. “I speak Australian now.”
Amelia schooled her expression. “Wow, Cisco. That must have been very difficult to learn for someone of your intelligence.”
Cisco thumped into his chair with a wounded expression. “I’m very smart, thank you.”
“That’s not what your mom says.” Amelia waited for Cisco’s cheeks to glow before erupting into laughter. “I’m sorry, I’m just joking. Your mom says you’re really clever. Her clever little Francisco.”
Worried that Cisco was about to burst a blood vessel, Penny coughed. “Where can I get a drink around here, anyway?”
Amelia motioned to a pitcher on the table. “The jug of margaritas is for us girls.” She leaned around Penny. “Cisco, you want me to buy you a beer?”
Any ill will Cisco had held for Amelia’s teasing disappeared immediately. “Sure. You know what I like.”
“A Mexican for the Mexican?” Amelia asked with a grin.
“Damn straight,” Cisco said, high-fiving her over Penny’s head.
An hour later, the drinks had taken the edge off of Penny’s nerves, and she was gladly recounting a story from her trip to Sydney.
“I swear to god, the roaches in that dive were as big as possums!” She held up her hands for those who hadn’t seen an Australian possum, which, to be fair, was everyone at the table. “And this big biker guy saw it and started screaming. Nearly pissed his pants! But his mate was all ‘I got this,’ and he flicks out a knife and throws it, only it’s all ass about face. The knife bounces off the wall behind the cocky and comes straight for the old codger in the corner.”
“Wait up, I didn’t understand half of that. Can you talk more slowly?” Tammy, the blonde Penny had unseated, filled her glass and peered into it as if hoping a magical translator would appear.
“An old fart.” Penny grinned. She’d tried to pepper as much slang as she could into the conversation, much to the delight of her new friends. “Anyway, the knife grazes his ear, and he doesn’t even flinch. He puts down his stubby, cool as ice, and stands up to—“
Penny’s train of thought vanished as Amelia nudged her leg and nodded to the bar. Agent Crenel was chatting to the bartender. Both he and his companion were dressed in full FBI uniforms, and as Penny watched, Crenel spoke into his sleeve.
“What happened?” Tammy pressed.
“Uhh, there was a fight. Lots of blood, but the cocky got away.” Penny’s eyes followed Crenel back out to the foyer as she rambled.
“Wow, I really have to pee.” Amelia shoved back from the table, her head darting in the direction Crenel and his friend had gone. “You coming, Penny?”
“Yup. Bursting.”
The two women stood and hurried off, heedless of pleas for Penny to finish her story first.
“We are following the two special agents, aren’t we?” Penny asked as soon as they were out of earshot.
“There he is.” Amelia pointed to a door that was just swinging closed. “He went through there. Where’d the other one go?”
Penny was first through the door. She emerged into a kitchen to see Crenel speaking to one of the chefs.
“Ok, just make sure you let us know if you see anything.” Crenel spotted Penny and Amelia over the chef’s shoulder and quirked his mouth into a wry smile. “Thank you.” He shook the man’s hand and headed toward them.
“What’s going on?” Amelia demanded.
“Why do you ask?” Crenel smoothly swept an arm out and guided the girls out of the kitchen ahead of a waitress carrying a loaded tray of food.
“Civic duty,” Penny shot back.
“Well, it just so happens you two could come in handy,” Crenel muttered. He led the girls to a secluded alcove, then gestured toward a narrow stairwell. “We got a call about a local coven. Well, we think it’s more of a cult, really. They’re holed up in the bathrooms, and they’re trying to summon a local poltergeist.”
Penny lifted an eyebrow. “They’re in the ladies’, aren’t they?” Crenel’s companion had been male.
Crenel touched the side of his nose. “Clever girl.”
“So what, we get to bust in there and arrest them?” Amelia’s eyes were round and sparkling. “Can we use force? Lethal force?” She looked around, then leaned in to whisper, “Do we get guns?”
Crenel snorted. “Against a couple of girls in bad makeup and oversized dresses?” He shook his head. “I don’t think so. I jus
t need you to take a look. If anything is going on, just pretend you’re drunk and get the hell out of there. We can handle the rest.”
Amelia giggled. “Well, that will be easy. I’m two-thirds there already.”
“What are we looking for?” Penny asked.
“You’ll know it if you see it.” With that, Crenel shoved Penny gently forward. “I’ll be waiting right here.”
Penny stepped out and around the corner, only for someone to grab her arm. “Where’d you two buzz off to?” Cisco asked.
Amelia pranced by, tugging Penny’s other arm. “We’re going to the ladies, Cisco. Are you gonna follow us in to watch us pee?”
Cisco narrowed his eyes. “Something is going on.” When faced with wide-eyed looks of innocence, he sighed. “Fine. I’m waiting here, though.”
Penny descended first, squeezing to the side as a tall guy ran past them, wiping wet hands on his pants.
“Gross,” Amelia murmured. “Seriously, hand towels exist for a reason, people!”
Despite her nonchalance, when they approached the women’s bathroom, Amelia slipped her hand into Penny’s. “Together,” she whispered.
Chapter Six
Penny pressed her hand to the door. Before pushing on it, she hissed to Amelia, “Follow my lead.” She shoved the door open forcefully. “And did you seeeee his biceps?” Penny strode into the bathroom giggling loudly, doing her best to pay no attention to the black-clad cluster of girls in the corner.
“I know! Drool-worthy!” Amelia did her part, clasping her hands to her bosom as Penny approached the basins.
Penny turned on the tap and washed her hands. “Pity about the goatee. So nineties.” She gave a dramatic shudder for effect, using the chipped mirror to watch the girls. They had quickly turned their attention from the intruders and huddled around each other, closing ranks—but not before Penny saw the huge, tattered book one of them clutched.
“Are you done?” Amelia whined. Her eyes darted to the corner, clearly uncomfortable. “That sexy bartender is waiting for us.”
