by J. S. Scott
Money had come before his daughter’s violation. It had been a tough pill to swallow for me, but I’d accepted it.
“You’ve never seen Justin after that night?”
“No. We were graduated, and I had gotten accepted at Harvard. I cleaned the stuff out of my share of the apartment and left for Massachusetts a few days later.”
“No way was that bastard going to an ivy league school, even if he was rich,” Sebastian observed gruffly.
“He didn’t have the grades. He was going back to live with his father.”
“I’m so sorry, sweetheart,” Sebastian said as he nuzzled the side of my face in a gesture meant to comfort. “No woman should ever have to go through something like that.”
“He literally just used my body when I was in no position to fight,” I answered, furious all over again from just thinking about Justin’s violation. “The drink he’d brought was going to be my one and only glass of alcohol that night. I had a lot to do before I left New Hampshire, and even though I was social, I also studied a lot.”
“I know. That’s obvious by your grades. They were perfect.”
“They had to be. I also needed an off-the-charts LSAT score, and I got one. It was extraordinary enough to get me admission to Harvard.”
His fingers stroked over my hair rhythmically, his hands and body constantly comforting me, although I was pretty sure he was doing it unconsciously. I’d never taken Sebastian for a cuddly type of guy, but right now, he was surprising me by how capable of those actions he really could be.
He let out a masculine sigh. “You know I can’t just let this go, Paige. He needs to pay for what he did.”
I shook my head. “No. It’s over. Even now, I couldn’t take on a Talmage. And I have no proof.”
“Non-legally then. I don’t give a shit how he hurts. I just want it to happen. It fucking kills me to imagine you going through that with practically no support,” he snarled.
“None,” I admitted. “I didn’t tell anybody except my parents. I finally told my friend and roommate, Kenzie, a year or two after it happened. You’re the only other person I’ve told. After my parents convinced me not to move forward and press charges, I kept it to myself.”
“Why me?” Sebastian asked huskily.
“Because I blew your deal. Because I turned into a crazy woman. Because I went there to accomplish something for Walker and failed.” Damn! I hated that.
“You didn’t fail,” he replied forcefully. “Jesus, Paige, I never would have gotten you anywhere near any Talmage if I’d known.”
“I know. But this probably blew your chances of a deal.”
“Fuck. The. Property. There are plenty of other places to make a deal. Do you really think I’d have anything to do with any Talmage after what you told me? He could offer me the price I wanted, but I’d turn it down. I can’t do business with a man when I want to kill his son,” he replied empathetically.
My throat tightened, and tears sprang back into my eyes. How long had it been since someone other than Kenzie was willing to take my word about what had happened that night? How long had it been since anyone would even care? Knowing Sebastian was willing to blow off a prosperous business deal just because of what had happened to me touched me like nothing else could.
However, I wasn’t willing to let him go to prison for assaulting Justin. He was talking in the heat of the moment. I knew Sebastian wasn’t a murderer. “You can’t kill him. They’d put you in jail,” I said reasonably, even though I was once again blubbering like an idiot.
“I can’t let this go,” Sebastian replied, his voice vibrating with emotion. “The bastard needs to pay.”
I reached up and stroked his face. “Just knowing that you believe me is enough.”
His arms tightened around me. “Hell no, it’s not enough. Some piece of shit violated you, Paige, drugged you and took your power while he was doing it. How in the hell do you forget something like that when he was never prosecuted and put in jail?”
“I had to. I would have lost the case. I can see that more clearly now than I did before I went to law school. And my dad would have lost his income.”
“Jesus Christ! This makes me bat-shit crazy! No wonder you fucking hate rich men.”
I could hear the anger and frustration in his voice. “Don’t, Sebastian. I lived with it. I even thought I’d been able to forget it until tonight.”
“You’ve never forgotten it. You just hide your pain better than most people,” he argued.
I swiped the tears from my face, thinking about how strange it was that I was sitting in a dark vehicle just off the freeway, crying more than I’ve cried in years. Spilling my guts wasn’t easy for me, but the darkness and Sebastian’s concerned, comforting embrace had made it slightly easier for me to get real.
Eventually, I’d have to gain control, go back to my safe place where no one could hurt me again. But I allowed myself to wallow in a sense of security I hadn’t known since before I’d been attacked.
“I’m not hiding,” I protested. “I just…need to be in control.”
“Because some bastard took away your choices. You feel like you have to fly under the radar, and not be noticed.”
“I want to be noticed for my accomplishments,” I told him indignantly.
“I doubt anyone could ignore them,” he answered drily. “I’m sure your parents are proud.”
I shrugged. “I wouldn’t know. We don’t really speak much anymore. We haven’t since my parents talked me out of pressing charges.”
“Did they believe you?”
“I don’t really know. I was so hurt back then that I didn’t ever ask that question.” Was it possible that my parents had gotten me to back off because they weren’t sure the incident ever happened, or was it all because my dad worked for Talmage?
The possibility that they might have thought I was too drunk that night to remember what had actually happened made me even sadder. I’d never given them any reason to doubt that I was telling the truth. I was a perfect student, a good daughter who never got into trouble, and I’d loved them both with all my heart. Probably still did, even after all of the heartache and distance between myself and my mom and dad.
“You’re thinking,” Sebastian mused. “Don’t overthink the situation with your parents.”
“I’m not,” I hedged. Really, I was. Now I wondered…
“Yeah. You are. Whenever you’re quiet, I know you’re thinking.”
He was right, which I found slightly annoying. How was it that Sebastian could read me so easily when I knew next to nothing about him? Every action had been a surprise tonight, and his immediate belief in my confession shocked the hell out of me.
Since he had a big business deal riding on having a decent conversation with Mr. Talmage in person, I’d expected questions, and possibly some skepticism.
There was absolutely none.
Finally, I answered, “Maybe I wasn’t thinking about my parents.”
“You were,” he countered arrogantly. “I put doubt in your mind. I wish I hadn’t asked if they believed you.”
“It’s a legitimate question.”
“Were they good parents?”
“Yes. I thought they loved me as much as I loved them.” My voice quivered with emotion.
“Then they believed you. They were probably trying to protect you. Maybe it wasn’t what you wanted back then, but I doubt your father was as worried about his job as you think. Their daughter was raped. I can’t imagine how hard that would be to accept and deal with as a parent.”
Reluctantly, I untangled myself from his arms and climbed back over into my own seat before I answered. “Like I said, I wouldn’t know. They didn’t talk about it. They were too worried about the possibility that I’d make a police report.”
Sebastian had to fasten his seat bel
t again. He’d apparently taken it off when he’d yanked me into his lap. I was securing my own when he asked, “Do you miss them?”
“Yes,” I replied honestly.
“Losing your parents somehow makes you feel a loneliness you’ve never experienced before,” Sebastian agreed as he maneuvered his vehicle back onto the freeway.
I knew he was speaking from experience. “I’m sorry about your mom and dad, and your brother.”
“You remember everything you read?”
“Of course,” I teased in a smart-ass voice, hoping we could get off the subject of my assault. “I always do my research.”
“What did you find out about me when you studied Walker?” he asked curiously.
Knowing Sebastian the way I was getting to understand him now, I didn’t want to answer. “Just the public knowledge stuff.” My answer was meant to be vague. After his kindness, I didn’t have the heart to say anything bad about him.
“You found out I was a player. That I slept with legions of women, drank all the time, and got stoned as often as possible. Maybe you saw that I didn’t work, didn’t care about embarrassing my family by doing some shitty things in the past.”
“Yeah. The press wasn’t always kind to you,” I admitted quietly.
“They didn’t have to be. I was that man. Every single word you read was true,” he revealed flatly.
My heart sank. “I don’t believe all of it.”
“You should,” he answered casually. “I doubt any of it was that embellished. I’m basically an asshole.”
I frowned in the darkness, not quite sure I wanted to hear anything more.
CHAPTER 9
Paige
My curiosity about why Sebastian still identified himself as the useless player he used to be won out against other parts of my brain telling me it was none of business.
“You’re not that guy anymore,” I assured him. I hesitated before asking, “How did you get so into alternative energy?”
“You want to change the subject,” Sebastian accused.
“Maybe. Just answer.” Really, there was nothing I wanted more than to not talk about what happened to me. It was too raw right now.
“I’m an engineer by education. Even during school, I messed with alternative energy. Our resources are finite, and the demand is higher than what can be provided. That means we’ll eventually run out. Technology has to move ahead. The United States isn’t the leader in solar right now, and we should be. Hell, someday we’ll be breaking into space-based solar power and mining asteroids.”
I could hear the enthusiasm in his voice. “You think we’ll actually be able to do it?” I’d read about both of those possibilities.
“Probably not in my lifetime,” he admitted. “But I can do what I’m able to do now.”
I was fascinated by the way his mind worked. Most people only gave a damn about their lifetime. They didn’t care what happened hundreds or thousands of years after they were dead. “I’m so sorry about the property, Sebastian,” I whispered, feeling guilty after I heard how much he wanted to get more things rolling.
“Not important,” he replied coarsely. “I’ll find another place.”
“Do you miss your old lifestyle?”
“No. It was only a way to run away from losing my dad after I graduated from college. Soon after that, I started to hate it. That’s why I worked on solar development long before I came back to Walker.”
I hadn’t known he’d done anything before he’d come back to his father’s company. “Then why didn’t you join Trace earlier?”
“I didn’t know if I wanted to. I really wasn’t sure where I belonged. Trace had already moved ahead without me because I was still in school. Dane practically went into seclusion as soon as he was well enough to leave the hospital. One minute I had a family, and the next moment, they were gone,” he explained.
“I know the feeling,” I answered wistfully, leaning my head back against the plush leather and closing my eyes.
Once, I’d been the treasured only child of two parents. Then, suddenly, I had no one.
Sebastian continued, “When I wasn’t drifting around the world for parties, I tinkered with alternative energy research at home in Texas.”
“The world needs people like you, Sebastian,” I told him quietly.
He was so smart, so different than any guy I’d ever met. Somehow, he’d always wanted to make a difference, contribute something valuable to society. My heart ached for him that he’d never really understood just how special he was, or how much he mattered.
“The world needs another privileged rich guy?” he answered in a self-deprecating tone.
“You work harder than most,” I argued. “So what if it took you some time to find out where you belonged. You lost your dad and your stepmother, and you almost lost Dane. Trace was busy trying to take over your dad’s company. It’s no wonder you felt…lost.”
God, did I remember how that felt. When I was suddenly on my own with no family to call my own, I’d felt the same confusion and loneliness. I’d just filtered mine into getting ahead so I never had to feel helpless again. Sebastian had suffered in a different way, but I understood exactly how he’d felt.
“After Justin violated you, did you feel lost?” Sebastian asked gruffly.
“Yes. Especially after I didn’t have my parents anymore.”
“You’re not alone, Paige.” His declaration was comforting and fervent. “And I swear you’ll always be safe.”
Yeah. Okay. I knew it was a false promise. Nobody could ever guarantee the safety of another person. But just for now, I wanted to pretend that he could. How did he know that underneath my bravado, I was always scared, afraid of being helpless and alone again?
I let myself wallow in his vow, feeling content to just let myself trust him for a brief period in time.
He reached a hand out in the darkness and captured mine, entwining our fingers together in a silent gesture of support that lulled me into a sense of security that made me sigh wearily.
I was so comfortable that I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I knew, I was awake, and Sebastian was lifting me out of his car.
“What happened?” I asked, startled as I instinctively wrapped my arms around his neck.
“We’re home,” he stated quietly.
I woke up quickly. “You can put me down. I must have fallen asleep.”
“Be still,” he warned. “Grab your purse.”
He bent slightly and I scooped the clutch from the passenger seat. “I’m awake now.”
“I noticed,” he answered, sounding amused. “You stopped snoring.”
“I don’t snore,” I answered, affronted.
“Maybe not. But you make the cutest little noises when you’re sleep. Not quite a snore, but you sure breathe heavy.”
I’m pretty sure if I really did snore, Kenzie would have told me. She would have seized on any opportunity to tease me about it.
I looked around, noticing we were nowhere near my apartment building. “We aren’t home. Where are we?”
“My place,” he answered abruptly. “You’re staying here. After what happened, you need some time to sort through seeing Justin again. And I don’t want you doing it alone.”
“I can deal with it,” I answered defensively. Really, nobody had ever coddled me or made a big deal about my emotions. Probably because I rarely showed them to anyone.
He set me carefully on my feet as we arrived at the garage door. I turned and looked behind me, noticing there was another vehicle in a second parking spot. It was a bright red sports car, but I couldn’t place the make or model, probably because I knew very little about expensive cars. But this one caught my eye immediately. “What kind of car is that?” I pointed toward the sporty red vehicle.
He turned as he pushed the door op
en. “Vintage Ferrari. Pretty rare.”
“It’s beautiful,” I murmured, admiring the sleek lines and the pristine appearance of the vehicle.
“It should be. It took me years to restore it. It was pretty messed up when I bought it.”
“You did it yourself?”
He shrugged as he motioned me into the house. “Pretty much. I needed some consulting occasionally.”
I gaped at the car, then back at him as I passed him on the way into the house. A week ago, I would have said that Sebastian Walker probably never lifted a finger to do dirty work. But somehow, the fact that he tinkered with old vehicles didn’t surprise me once the knowledge sunk in completely. He was an engineer, and he was obviously fascinated with the way things worked and how he could improve them.
Strangely, the image of him greasy and sweating while he was restoring an old car didn’t seem that odd at all.
“You did an amazing job. It looks like brand new.”
He grinned at me as he shot past me to lead the way. “It’s not supposed to look brand new. It’s supposed to look new in the sixties style.”
“Mission accomplished,” I teased back.
“My dad liked old cars. He never restored them himself, but he had plenty that he bought and had done for him over the years.”
I moved into the enormous gourmet kitchen behind him. Obviously, old cars were an interest Sebastian had gotten from his father. “Do you still have any of his?”
“No. My stepmother hated riding in them. My dad sold off his last vintage model right before he died.”
I stripped off my wet heels, not wanting to damage his gorgeous wood floor. My stockings were dry, but they were a mess, the damage I’d done from running through the trees evident.
My polished toenail peeked out of one of the skin-tone nylons. “I guess this pair is ruined,” I said awkwardly.
