by J. S. Scott
“Sebastian,” I muttered, nearly incoherent as he gripped my ass tightly and pulled back only to return with another powerful surge. “Yes. Please. Fuck me.”
“I can’t hold back, Paige,” he said in a tormented tone.
“Don’t. Please don’t. I want everything.”
I wanted to experience the wonder of actually enjoying sex, and I knew Sebastian was the only man who could give me that, give me all that I’d missed.
“Fuck. Paige,” he groaned as he slammed into me again and again, like he needed my body like a dehydrated mammal needed water.
He was just that passionate, that greedy and desperate.
And he caught me up in his fire, my body like tinder to his flame. Once ignited, I couldn’t stop.
I caught his punishing rhythm and rose to meet every thrust, my heart racing, my breath short and shallow as our perspiring bodies reached for the same goal together.
“I need you, Sebastian. I need you so much. Don’t stop,” I cried out as I tightened my legs around him, wishing the ecstasy of being with him could go on and on.
He gripped my ass tighter as he growled, “I want to get so deep inside you that you never forget how it feels when I’m fucking you.”
He pulled my body up tightly against him with his grip on my rear, and I strained to accept everything he had.
“I could never forget,” I whimpered.
“Come for me, baby,” he demanded coarsely.
I could feel the same coil of blistering heat flooding my body, but I didn’t fly over the top until Sebastian grasped my hair and positioned my head so he could kiss me. His other hand slid between our tight bodies and he thumbed my clit, setting off my body like a firecracker on the Fourth of July.
My climax sizzled through my being, my core clamping down on his cock as waves of pleasure cascaded through me.
I screamed the moment Sebastian lifted his head after his impassioned kiss. “Yesssss!” I hissed at the end of my howl of ecstasy.
“Paige!” Sebastian groaned as he reared up and buried himself inside my tight, spasming sheath over and over again.
His face was fierce, his expression tortured when he finally found his release, his prolonged groan of pleasure as he threw his head back was one of the rawest things I’d ever witnessed. The corded muscles in his neck were flexing, and his chest was slick and covered with sweat. But to see him at an intimate moment like we were experiencing was breathtakingly beautiful. There was no other way to describe him.
I wallowed in his pleasure as it mingled with mine, our bodies both shuddering with relief.
Untangling our limbs, Sebastian rolled off me and gathered me into his arms as we caught our breath.
He didn’t say anything as we struggled to recover, but the silence was broken by our ragged breaths, and I could feel my heart pumping as it eventually started to slow down.
One of his hands was stroking over my back, and in that moment, I found a peace like I hadn’t known since…well…maybe never.
Eventually, we stirred, and Sebastian laid a gentle kiss on my lips and started caressing my hair so naturally that I wasn’t even sure he knew he was doing it.
I buried my face in his warm chest, then laid my head on it. “Thank you,” I said again, at a loss for words at the moment. What else could I say to the man who had just rocked my whole world?
“Still think you’re sexually dysfunctional?” he said in a teasing tone.
“Probably not,” I agreed with a smile.
“We might have a small problem, though,” he mused.
“What?” I couldn’t think of one thing that hadn’t been perfect.
“I didn’t use a condom, Paige,” he muttered remorsefully. “I don’t want you to hate me if you end up pregnant.”
CHAPTER 14
Paige
I hadn’t even thought about protection. There were other reasons why we should have used a condom other than the possibility of me getting knocked up. “I’m on the pill. I have been since Justin raped me.”
I shuddered. After that experience, and the anxiety of waiting to see if I was pregnant, I knew I never wanted to go through that again.
His body had tensed, and I felt him physically relax. “I should have stopped.”
“I wasn’t going to let you,” I answered, perfectly willing to take the blame. “I was checked for any diseases after the attack. Then again after my last sexual encounter during my routine checkup, even though he wore a condom. I’m clean of any STDs. I haven’t been with anyone since then.”
“I was a man-whore up until I came to Denver. But I was checked, too. I’ve never not used a condom. I don’t even keep them around anymore since they just collect dust. I know I can’t expect you to believe me, but I can get the medical records.”
I leaned back so I could see his face. “I believe you.”
He gave me a puzzled look. “Why?”
I laughed as I gazed at his confused expression. “Why wouldn’t I? You’ve been honest with me so far.”
“Because I lived a high-risk lifestyle.”
“And you always wore a condom. You got checked.” I stroked his whiskered jaw. “Sebastian, I encouraged you. I didn’t stop to think about diseases, and I should have. I think you would have stopped if you thought you were risking my health. I know I would have told you before things had gone that far.”
“I lost count of how many women I’ve had. Honestly, I was usually so far under the influence that I can barely remember most of my sexual encounters during those years,” he admitted, sounding regretful.
“I. Don’t. Care.” I said each word distinctly. Yeah, maybe I should have mentioned a condom. But I knew I wasn’t going to get pregnant, and I was getting to know Sebastian well enough to know he wouldn’t knowingly hurt me in any way. “If anyone should be scared, it’s you. You had no idea that I was on birth control.”
He was silent for a moment before he answered, “Well, I guess we’re safe.”
Sebastian didn’t address why he hadn’t been worried if I got pregnant, but I didn’t ask. We’d both gotten caught up in the moment, and that was all there was to our mistake.
Honestly, I’d been so zoned out to everything except Sebastian that it was almost frightening.
I sighed and cuddled against him again. “I really didn’t know it could be like that.”
“Me either,” he answered in a husky voice.
“You’ve been with plenty of other women,” I reminded him.
“Not like that.” I felt his chin brush against my hair as he shook his head.
He tightened his arms around me possessively as I answered, “I might get better with more practice.”
“Round two?” he asked, his voice amused. “Not happening tonight, sweetheart. You’re going to be hurting in muscles you forgot you had in the morning. I feel like shit that I got so rough, but I plead insanity, counselor.”
“Tonight is all we have,” I said, hating the plea in my voice. I sounded pathetic, but if I was never going to be with Sebastian again, I wanted…more.
“No, it’s not. Sleep,” he suggested as he buried his face in my hair. “You have to be exhausted.”
I was tired, but my body was still zinging with leftover adrenaline.
He bodily lifted me and turned me around so he was spooning me, one strong, possessive arm around my waist. It was an intimate position, but it felt good to have our bodies plastered together again.
I let out a long sigh of contentment. “I noticed that almost all of the women’s clothing in the closet still has tags on them.” I was curious, but I didn’t want to outright ask him why they were there.
“My aunt Aileen stays with me now when she comes to Denver on business. She doesn’t get here often, but since Trace is married, she says she’s more comfortable staying here w
ith me. That’s her favorite room, and she ordered the clothes so she’d never have to pack if she came here. She hasn’t needed to stay here since she stocked the closet.”
“She’s Blake Colter’s mother,” I murmured, remembering her name from my research.
“Not just Blake’s. She has other kids.”
“I know. One daughter and four boys. Tate, Chloe, Zane, Blake, and Marcus.”
“Jesus! Do you have a photographic memory or what?”
I smiled. “Not that I know of, but I do remember most of what I read.”
“Hell, sometimes I can’t remember the names of people I’ve met before, much less people who mean nothing to me,” he grumbled.
“It’s a skill I picked up from working and going to school. My study time was a little hampered by my jobs. I had to retain everything I read.” I paused before asking, “So did I remember right?”
“Yeah. That’s all of them. My aunt Aileen is the woman who keeps them all in line. She runs the resort I mentioned in Rocky Springs.”
“Do you mind when she stays with you?”
“Not at all. I’m hardly ever here, and if she stays with me, she cooks.”
I laughed softly. “So you actually eat.”
“She’s one hell of a cook. Yeah, I definitely eat.”
“I hope she doesn’t get mad that I borrowed her nightgown.”
“She won’t. She’d offer you the shirt off her back if you needed it. She’s a good, kind woman,” Sebastian assured me.
I was silent as I processed my disappointment that my body wasn’t going to come apart again tonight, but then I savored the sensation of having Sebastian’s powerful body against my back. He threw off heat, and kept me warm and secure as I contemplated the repercussions of what had happened this evening.
No doubt, meeting up with him at work would be awkward, but if we were both professional, we’d manage.
The steady breath hitting the back of my neck told me Sebastian had fallen asleep, his arm still wrapped as tightly around me in sleep as it had been when he was awake.
One glance at the large windows told me the sun was rising. No wonder Sebastian had fallen asleep. I was exhausted, too, but my mind kept playing different scenarios over and over again.
My heart squeezed like a tight fist was wrapped around the organ, a crushing pain heavy on my chest.
Morning had come, and my fantasy night was over.
Problem was, Sebastian Walker had made me feel all of the things my mom always said I would, but he was unattainable.
Not only was he the owner of Walker Enterprises, but he was obviously obsessed with work.
He wasn’t relationship material, and neither was I.
A lone tear trickled down my cheek as I kept on savoring how good he felt, how right it was that he’d been the man to finally show me how pleasurable intimacy could be.
I can’t have more!
This night had been my fling, my one-night stand to chase away some of the ghosts that haunted me. Strangely enough, it had worked. Knowing I wasn’t incapable of having a climax opened up an entirely different door for me. It wasn’t that I hadn’t tried to achieve an orgasm myself, but I’d never quite gotten there. Now, I surmised that I’d just been trying too hard. I’d been trying to prove that it was possible instead of just relaxing and letting it happen. Eventually, I’d gotten frustrated and given up.
Now that I know it’s possible, I think I can get myself off.
The ache in my chest was still there, even though I’d opened a part of myself tonight that I’d never looked at, much less shared before. Sebastian had said this night wasn’t the last time, but he hadn’t been thinking straight.
It had to be the only time.
I wasn’t about to become a fuck buddy to him, and he meant more than that to me.
I’m falling for him.
I sighed as I finally admitted the truth. Sebastian Walker moved me in ways I never thought possible. We fit. We connected. In superficial ways, we couldn’t be more different. But we’d shared a lot of the same issues in different ways, and I’d never forget his kindness to me when I needed it the most.
But the naked truth was…Sebastian didn’t do relationships, and neither did I. Hell, I wasn’t even sure I knew how. I’d been alone for so long that I didn’t understand how to be with anybody.
Maybe if I cared a little less, we could use each other to scratch an itch occasionally. But I’d be lying if I convinced myself that being with him casually wouldn’t hurt me. In time, it very well might destroy me.
Somehow, I needed to consider this night a learning experience and try to forget that Sebastian Walker had rocked my world so profoundly that I’d never be the same again.
Not that I regretted what happened. I didn’t. I knew exactly what I was doing. But to expect anything more was pointless.
Take what you learned and grow from it.
Slowly, as the light of day started filtering in from the cracks in the blinds, I began to rebuild my strength.
I eased out of Sebastian’s tight hold without waking him, knowing my first line of protection was distance.
I don’t want to wake up and have everything feel awkward between us.
I needed time to think.
I walked naked into the bedroom that Sebastian had originally showed me to and picked up my dress and my clutch bag. The gown was ruined. The moisture stains causing portions of the garment to fade. I fumbled with my bag and pulled out my cell phone to call a taxi before I purloined a pair of jeans and a sweater from the collection of clothes in the closet.
I’ll replace them.
I planned on going to the store and replacing what I’d used.
Using the stairs instead of the elevator, I briefly looked around his place as I made my way back to the kitchen, stunned as I discovered each new room. Not only did he have a complete gym, but he also possessed an indoor pool, and more bedroom suites than I could count. I wasn’t surprised when I found a theater room for movies, and a game room that had a pool table that looked like it was rarely used.
The whole house was breathtaking without being ostentatious. Obviously, it was a home meant to be used and loved.
I found my heels near the kitchen, exactly where I’d kicked them off, and I forced my bare feet into the high stilettos before I glanced longingly up toward the place where Sebastian still slept.
I didn’t want to leave him. I didn’t want to go. But my safety mechanisms were firmly in place, and I knew that I had to fondly remember this night without letting my feelings for Sebastian take me over. If I did, I knew I’d never survive.
I wrote a quick, terse note to him, thanking him for helping me, and letting him know that I couldn’t stay because I had other obligations this morning. It was a blatant lie, but my blasé communication sounded just how I meant him to interpret it: a brush off and a reminder that this was a one-night-only thing.
I let myself out from the garage, pushing the button again and racing to get clear before the solid metal door clanged shut with a finality that wrenched at my soul.
Done.
Finished.
My interlude with Sebastian could never be more than just a fond memory.
I swept one last tear from my face as the taxi pulled up to Sebastian’s house, and I hopped in, resisting the urge to look back as the car pulled away to take me home.
I was back at my place when I realized that I only had one of my earrings still affixed to my left ear. The other one was gone. Maybe it was just a fairly inexpensive piece of jewelry, but it was my most sentimental connection to my mom. Really, one of the only things I still had left from her.
Leaving Sebastian had been one of the hardest things I’d ever done, but staying and facing him in the morning would have made leaving even harder. But I was feeling the same emptiness
creep up inside me again, and losing that fragile connection with my mother was the last straw.
Alone in my apartment, I carefully removed the other earring, sat on my sofa, and wept.
CHAPTER 15
Sebastian
“I got what was coming to me, I guess,” I told Trace on Monday morning as I slumped in the chair in front of his desk on the top floor. “The player finally got played.”
I’ll never forget how I felt waking up alone two mornings ago. First, I panicked because she was gone. Then, I worried about her being safe. Finally, I found the note Paige had left on the kitchen counter while I ran through the house like a lunatic screaming her name over and over again. After that, I went into a state somewhere between anger and despair. I’m thinking at one point I slipped over a line closer to anger, because I wanted to smash every single thing that I could get into my hand to release my furious disappointment.
I hadn’t held back with Trace this morning. I’d told him everything. I was fucking sick of pretending that I wasn’t obsessed with Paige Rutledge. I’d glossed over some of the more intimate details, but he knew all the basics.
Trace leaned back in his chair as he donned a thoughtful expression. “I can’t believe that son of a bitch, Talmage, got away with raping a woman.”
“I can,” I said irritably. “How often have we seen money buy somebody out of trouble? How often has the power of being rich made a man think he’s above everyone else?”
“I have to admit, I pulled a few strings for Eva, but nothing like this, and she was innocent.”
I could never compare my oldest brother to Talmage in any way. “Everybody knows somebody. This was flat-out arrogance and Talmage thinking he’d never pay for what he did because his daddy has money.”
Trace nodded. “We might be rich, but we can thank Dad for teaching us that we’re no better than anyone else, and being wealthy comes with the responsibility of helping others as much as we possibly can.”
“He taught us by example,” I agreed. My father had been one of the most generous, kindest men I’d ever known. He’d never used his power to intimidate other people. He was a businessman, but he was also very human.
