by Ward, Quinn
Those were the nights I slept the best. There was something about the warm and fuzzies it gave me when Daniel pulled the covers up to my chin. If I was stronger, I’d snap at him to stop and remind him I wasn’t his boy to take care of. Just because our roommates had odd relationships where that shit was totally normal, didn’t mean I was looking for anything like that.
But I could at least admit to myself that I was such a dick to Chase, because what he had with Jayden was so fucking sweet it hurt.
But thinking about Chase conjured up Colin in my mind. The universe was a cruel fucking place, so of course it sent me someone who had those same droopy, whiskey-colored eyes, made him unapologetically gay, and strong enough I couldn’t help but wonder what it would feel like to have him throw my ass on the bed and drill my hole.
Because, yeah, I was fucked up like that.
Too bad I couldn’t do a fucking thing about it.
While I waited for the dinner rush to start, I clocked out and huddled in one of the corner booths, trying to make some headway on a Modern History assignment. I’d fucked up hardcore by putting off some of the classes that I knew were going to bore me to tears, and now I was paying the price. The professor was so dry he should have come with a warning label against drowsiness, and the rest of the students were freshmen. Sure, it was only a few years’ age difference, but they were babies, barely kicked out of their parents’ nests. And not a single one of them understood that as much as group projects sucked donkey balls, they were a fact of life.
So here I was, trying to pick up the slack for a bunch of assholes caught up in the freedom frenzy because I’d be damned if I was going to prove my dad right.
The hairs on the back of my neck prickled as I heard someone approaching the front counter. I shook off my discomfort, telling myself I was being paranoid.
“I have an interview with Gavin.” Fuck. Even though we hadn’t spent much time together, I knew that voice. I kept my head down as I glanced to the side, a pit forming in my stomach.
I’d obviously done something horrible in a past life; that was the only explanation for Colin standing there in tight-fitting jeans and a crisp white button-down shirt with the sleeves rolled up to accentuate his sculpted forearms.
I was going to lose my shit if he wound up getting a job here. And, honestly, chances were high I’d wind up with chafing on my dick from having to sneak into the bathroom to rub one out if I had to be near him all the damned time.
Since that first night, I’d carefully avoided being in the common areas whenever he was home. When I begged whatever higher power was out there to make me forget about my infatuation for Daniel, replacing that lust with feelings for another roommate wasn’t what I’d envisioned.
And yet, I couldn’t stop staring at him. I tried to be inconspicuous, but I failed. Colin offered me a brilliant, knowing smile when he glanced over at me. I waved, not wanting to pretend I hadn’t seen him. It would make things easier, but I was trying really fucking hard to get over the reputation of being the suite asshole.
He turned away to have a quick exchange with Joey, the owner’s son. I grabbed my ear pods and pulled up a classic rock playlist. I wasn’t a fan, but it was my go-to whenever I really needed to focus. The list included all of my dad’s favorites, and they served as a reminder that he didn’t think I was smart enough to get a college education.
Well, fuck him.
“Hey, guess this explains why I haven’t seen you around much,” Colin said as he invited himself to slide onto the bench opposite me. I sucked in a deep breath, reminding myself it wouldn’t do either of us any favors if I told him to have a bit of respect for my personal space. “I didn’t know you worked here.”
“And now you do,” I quipped, turning my attention back to the assignment on my screen. I turned up the volume on my playlist and pretended my senses weren’t being assaulted by the rich spices of his cologne with every inhale. I shifted in my seat, trying to ignore the way my dick reacted to him.
He could not get a job working here.
“What are you working on?” God, he was nearly as oblivious as his brother. I held up my textbook so he could read the cover. “Isn’t that a lower-level course?”
“Yep.” I tapped harder at the keys.
“So, you like working here?” I glared at him over the top of my laptop screen.
“Yep.”
“Oo-kay, then.” Colin lifted his soda, tracing his tongue around the end of the straw before sucking it between his lips. Fuck, was he going out of his way to torture me?
Joey’s eyes darted between us when he came back to the counter. I didn’t trust that nosy fucker any further than I could throw him—which, admittedly, probably wasn’t very far. He looked like one of those douches who’d be found partying at the Jersey shore, but he’d been forced to help run the family business instead. He flipped over the paper in his hand and scowled. “I didn’t realize the two of you knew one another. You didn’t mention it on your application.”
“You know what they say about it being a small world,” I quipped.
The creases in Joey’s brow deepened. “No. What?”
I waved him off. “Never mind. Colin’s one of my suitemates but we don’t really know one another.”
Shit. That came out harsher than I’d intended it to. And it opened the door for even more questions, or it would if we were having this conversation with anyone other than Joey the dimwit.
“You know Pops doesn’t want drama around here,” Joey warned, focusing his narrowed eyes on me.
“It’s nothing like that,” I assured him. Only later would I realize I could have just kept my damned mouth shut and Colin could have continued on his job hunt. I was still new, but I was smart enough to bust my ass, so they’d see me as an asset and give me the best shifts. Double bonus: that would help me resist falling back into the bad habits from last year. Oh well, now that I’d stepped in it, I might as well be the hero. “Colin’s a good guy. Always trying to help out.”
Colin grimaced. Yeah, now I was laying it on too thick. I needed to just shut up.
“Anyway…uh, good luck or whatever,” I said dismissively. Colin rose as Gavin approached the counter. He sighed, his shoulders rounding. I watched him walk away, trying to shake the feeling that I’d somehow made things even more awkward between us.
My focus was shot with Colin so close by. If he was staying in the dorms like a typical freshman, I might have taken a shot at him. The one thing he had going for him so far was he seemed like the type who kept to himself, and I wouldn’t have to worry about him saying something to his brother. He was everything about Daniel that got me hard without the risk of losing a close friendship.
Every time I heard anyone walking toward the counter, I glanced up to see if it was Colin. As much as I didn’t want him working here, I was eager to hear how his interview went. I hadn’t been lying to Joey; Colin would be a damn hard worker. The few times I had seen him in the suite, he either had his head buried in books or he was cleaning up after the rest of us. We needed more dedicated employees around here to make up for the slackers who thought smoke breaks were for everyone and should be taken as often as possible.
A pit formed in my stomach when Colin bounded to the front of the store, a t-shirt slung over his shoulder. If that hadn’t told me all I needed to know, it was apparent the interview had gone well from his straight spine and the broad smile on his face. And damn, he was even sexier when he smiled all the way to his eyes. “Things go well?”
“Yeah,” he responded excitedly. “And he said they’re short staffed tonight, so he wants me to jump right in.”
“That’s…great.” Colin raised an eyebrow and smirked at the hesitation in my words. I couldn't blame him, even I didn’t believe my feigned enthusiasm. If they were so hard up for help, they had a new guy starting immediately following his interview, it probably didn’t look good for me to be sitting on my ass. I started packing up my books and laptop as I slid
out of the booth. “Depending on when you get done, let me know if you want a ride home.”
“Oh, you don’t have to do that. It’s not far,” he argued. For the first time, Colin showed a hint of insecurity as he picked at an invisible something on his shirt. God, had I been that much of a dick that he thought a ride home, when we were literally going to the same place, was a hardship?
“Seriously, it’s not a problem. I’m not such a flaming bag of dicks that I’d let you walk when we live in the same fucking building.” We stood, awkwardly looking at one another without saying anything until Joey cleared his throat.
“The two of you working together isn't a problem, is it?” He eyed us suspiciously, as if trying to figure out if we were better friends than we’d let on or if we were going to rip out one another’s throats.
If I got my hands on Colin, it wasn’t his throat that would be in danger. Fuck, I could not be thinking about shit like that. I shifted my backpack in front of me before trying to discreetly adjust myself. The fact I hadn’t gone out to get laid since school started was becoming a huge problem. Sure, I’d told myself I wasn’t going to use girls to prove to myself I wasn’t into dudes but, at this point, a hole was a hole and I needed to get off.
“No problem at all, boss man,” I assured him.
Boss man? Colin mouthed. I grinned, hoping the annoying nickname would catch on. It was an easy way for me to get under Joey's skin. Almost immediately, I felt like a dick because Joey hated it when I called him that and Colin seemed really excited about getting the job. He shouldn’t suffer because annoying the fuck out of people was one of my main hobbies.
The phone started ringing, and I ducked behind the counter before Joey could whine about how no one around here respected him. From what I’d seen, there was a reason for that. Colin disappeared to the back of the dining room, ducking into the bathroom to get changed for work.
The entire time I was on the phone with a sweet old lady with a million questions, I could feel Joey staring at me, hovering right behind me to give me shit. To further annoy him, I took my time on the call, answering every question the customer had in great detail, trying to upsell her on everything I could think of.
Joey took a deep breath, the type that sucked his nostrils together, then let it out just as audibly. A few seconds later, he huffed and stomped his foot. As I made sure the woman didn’t need anything else, Joey made a series of progressively more disgusted sounds. He and his dad argued frequently about whether it was a good business practice to get people to buy more than what they called order. The family had better hope the old man never died because I was confident Joey could mismanage the business into ruins within months.
Eventually, I had no choice but to end the call. I pretended I didn’t notice him behind me, chatting with the cooks as I passed to keep him from starting a conversation. Joey followed me to the warming tables where I started packing my first delivery for the night. “Can I help you with something?”
“What's going on between you and the new kid?” He crossed his arms over his chest and puffed it out in a pathetic attempt to look tough. Chase, the world’s sweetest, least intimidating guy I’d ever met, scared me more than this tool. I didn’t answer him; he didn’t deserve to know shit about my life outside these four walls. “Well? Are you going to answer me? If not, I may have to take a look at scheduling.”
“Not that it's any of your business, but there's not a damn thing going on between us.” I insisted, maybe a little too quickly and my voice was definitely too loud. The guys on the pizza line glanced over, all work ceasing. It was no secret that Joey and I didn't get along. I took a step closer, towering over him. “And we both know you can’t do shit about the schedule. Fuck with me all you want, but if you fuck with him, I’ll lay your shit out.”
At first, I worried he was going to find a way to get me fired, but one of the other managers assured me that wouldn't happen. The only reason he would eventually take over the business was because there was no one else. Since then, I'd made it my life's mission to irritate Joey as much as possible. But Colin was off limits. I wouldn’t bring him into our little rivalry. I didn't want Joey giving him a hard time because of me.
“You sure about that? You seem awfully protective of someone you claimed to barely know,” Joey observed. It was only my need to have an income that wasn’t connected to my dad that kept me from smacking the smirk off his bloated face. He was quickly escalating from a thorn in my side to a pain in my ass. “Don’t think I missed the way you were watching his ass as he walked away. That’s twisted, man.”
“You don't know what the hell you're talking about,” I scoffed. That exchange plagued me the rest of the night. It would have been so easy for me to insist I wasn't gay, the same as I’d done a million other times, but for some reason I couldn't bring myself to do it.
The truth was, I didn't know what or who I was. It was getting harder and harder for me to believe the lie that I was straight. No matter how much I wished for it to be accurate, now that two of the guys I lived with were haunting my mind whenever I tried jerking one out, I had to admit straight was something I would never be.
Everything at work seemed to be going fine, at least for the first two hours. Because he was brand-new and no one had time to train him, Colin spent the entire dinner rush at the make table helping assemble pizzas to go into the oven. Watching him banter with the other cooks, you’d never have known he was the new guy. Colin held his own through the worst of the rush and tossed slices of pepperoni at Dustin when he gave Colin shit about slowing them down. It didn’t even matter to Colin that he was the manager for the night. He seamlessly fit in with the crew.
The orders came in fast enough that I was rarely in the store more than a few minutes before I was headed back out to my car with another set of deliveries. Unfortunately, dinner rush came to an end, and Joey the Wonder Slug agreed to let his buddies take off at the same time as him, not realizing or giving a damn that it meant leaving the assistant manager alone with someone who had been working there a total of three hours. Once it was time to belly up to the bar, Joey didn’t give a single shit about anyone but himself.
Colin did his best, and to his credit he picked everything up quickly, but there were still little quirks with the archaic computer system that stumped him. I was almost out the door when I heard him call my name. Former dickhead me would have kept going, pretending to be oblivious, but I couldn't do that to him.
As hard as it was going to be to work alongside him every night, I was getting a glimpse of Colin’s authentic personality, and I was quickly growing addicted. He was different here, more confident and outspoken. When I turned around, I could see the frustration carved into the lines in his forehead and the way his shoulders were hitched up almost to his ears. “Can you help me out for a second?”
I tossed the warming bag on the table and rushed to his side. I couldn't afford to be late. One of the stops on this run was one of our regular customers. When the drivers were on time, he was an excellent tipper, but even a couple minutes late and you could kiss any tip goodbye. With my determination to go out over the weekend, I wanted to pull in every dollar I could tonight.
I stopped myself from pushing Colin out of the way and taking over the call. I’d already spotted where he was getting tripped up, but he needed to learn how to do this on his own, especially if he wasn't going to speak up and point out that he wasn't ready to be on the late-night skeleton crew.
“What have we got going on?” It pained me to let him explain it rather than butting in, but I was trying to do the right thing instead of just thinking about myself.
One of the other drivers shoved his way past on his way out the door. I stepped closer to Colin, so I didn’t get run over by my coworker, but didn't back away once the coast was clear. In a fit of temporary insanity, I placed my hand at the small of Colin’s back and held my breath, waiting to see how he would react.
If I was going to take a step out o
f the closet, I wanted to do it with someone safe and, even though we didn't know one another well, nothing about Colin seemed to be a risk. The muscles in his back tensed before his entire body relaxed as he explained the issue. I leaned in closer, pointing to where he needed to click to get to the menus he was looking for. After reading back the customer's order, he glanced over and smiled, nearly knocking me on my ass.
That woke me up. I practically jumped back, needing to put some space between us before I did something stupid, like kiss his full lips in front of everyone. That would be one way to prove to everyone I’d been lying earlier when Joey asked me what was going on between us.
“You’ve got this,” I assured him with a very manly thump on the back. “I… I need to…” I hitched my thumb toward the door. “Yeah, I need to…”
Fuck. I could count on one hand the number of times I’d been rendered speechless, and not one of those times had been because of a guy.
Colin chuckled, waving me off. “Go. Sorry for making you late. If anyone calls, I'll tell them it was my fault.”
“No need to do that,” I reassured him as I gathered everything I’d dropped so I could help him. “Most people are pretty chill this time of night.”
“Yeah, but they should know it’s not your fault,” he argued as he followed me out the back door, carrying the bottles of soda I’d asked him to tuck under my arm. Our fingers brushed as he handed the bottles to me and my cock twitched.
Definitely needed to get laid. Otherwise, incidental contact would wind up with me begging him to show me what I’d been missing my whole life. Hell, maybe I’d try it and hate it, and then I’d know for sure there was something defective about me.
