Charity chatted with Maria for a little while before she went in and gave Max a hug and kiss goodbye. Then she headed back to the house wondering when Tick out get home. She’d missed him.
Tick returned to the house around four that afternoon, and Charity was just starting dinner when he walked into the kitchen. He was unsure how she would react to his presence, but he wanted to touch her. He walked up behind her, wrapping his arms around her from behind. The last two days had been hell. He’d gone on a run to the city behind the wall with Ratchet and Rock. He was glad to be back, and holding his woman felt damned good.
Charity felt Tick’s arms wrap around her from behind. His lips caressed her neck and she couldn’t help but lean back into the embrace. She wanted to tell him to fuck off like she should, but she had missed him too much.
“Damn, baby girl. I missed you.” Tick whispered into her neck where he kissed her.
“I missed you too.” She whispered back, then added. “But we have to discuss what happened with Travis, and we need to figure out what the hell we’re doing Tick. This can’t stay the way it is.”
“I know, baby girl. Is Max at Colt and Maria’s?” He asked. She nodded. “Good then can all that wait till tomorrow? I just want to sink inside you tonight.”
She just wordlessly turned off the stove turning in his arms allowing him to carry her upstairs to his bedroom without another word. They could talk about this in the morning she decided. She really just needed him to touch her tonight.
Tick almost collapsed in relief when she turned off the stove, turning in his arms. He lifted her, grateful that she didn’t protest as he carried her to his room. He’d been dying to touch her for four damned days and the thought of having to wait another one had nearly killed him. He just needed to touch her.
Chapter 14
Tick stood in the doorway of his bedroom holding his property patch, watching Charity who was brushing her hair. He was a bit conflicted by the need to patch her. He’d never thought that anyone except Vivi would ever wear his patch, yet here he stood about to patch another woman. He knew that Vivi wouldn’t have begrudged him for it, after all she was gone. He just hadn’t planned to ever do this again, but he didn’t know any other way to keep Charity. And he definitely wanted to keep her. He’d worked hard in the last few weeks to get her to fall in love with him. If she loved him she’d stay he’d reasoned.
She stood with her back to him and she was brushing her hair. He knew that giving her his patch was the only way for him to lock her down, and he was going to do it if she’d allow it. He also know that he’d never let her go once she agreed to wear it. He just didn’t think he was truly being fair to her. He was giving her his patch for selfish reasons. It wasn’t right for him to ask her for the right to own her when he knew he couldn’t give her what she deserved, but he wasn’t about to let her go so that she could find that with another man.
She would be a good mother to Max. Tick liked to think that he could give her everything she needed except for his heart, but he wasn’t sure that was truly enough. She deserved better, but he was self-aware enough that he knew he wasn’t about to step back and let another man touch her. So here he stood, watching her, about to ask her to wear his patch.
He cleared his throat to get her attention. She turned smiling at him questioningly.
“What?” She asked.
“Let’s sit.” He said indicating the edge of the bed. She sat, looking at him. He knelt down, reaching out to hold on to her knees. He heard the slight catch in her breath when she saw what he was holding.
“I know that we said at first that this was casual. Then there was the Travis nightmare a few weeks ago. It made me think long and hard about what I wanted from this. You and me.” He told her as if she didn’t already know what he meant by this. “I want you to wear this, Charity. I can’t ever give you my heart. Vivi was it for me, baby girl.”
Charity had been holding her breath since she’d seen the cut he was holding. When he told her Vivi was it for him, she flinched and almost started crying. She managed to hold her tears at bay, barely. She wanted to tell him to fuck off, but she couldn’t.
“I want you to wear this because I do care for you, Charity. I just can’t love you. My heart died with Vivi. You’re good for me, and for Max. You brought color back into our world, you know. We were still drowning without her, but you fixed that. I realize that this isn’t what you deserve, but I’m still asking you to take it.”
Charity looked at him, a fine sheen of tears in her eyes making her vision of him on his knees before her slightly blurry. He held the patch towards her, and she wanted so badly to snatch it from him. Only she knew that this wasn’t something she should allow him to do to her. She knew what this property patch meant. It meant that he’d own her. She knew that he’d always be there if she needed him, but without love would he still be content in a year, or five in years?
“I want you to know that I’d never hurt you willingly, Charity. I wouldn’t screw around with other women, or disrespect you. I’d take care of you, baby girl. Just like I do Max. The sex between us is mind blowing, and that’s damned hard to find.” He smirked as he said that lifting the hand not holding the cut out to her to brush her hair away from her face.
“I don’t know if-if this is a good idea, Tick.” She finally said, watching him.
“It has to be your choice, Charity. I know what I want, and that’s you in my bed every night and every morning. You have to make a choice here. Are you willing to accept that although I will never be able to love you the way I did Vivi, I do care deeply about you. Or do you want to walk away from this, from us?” Tick knew even as he told her she could leave he wouldn’t actually allow that to happen, but he gave her the illusion of choice anyway.
Charity’s heart squeezed, and her eyes burned with unshed tears. She knew that he was saying that Vivi had been the love of his life, but he enjoyed sleeping with her and didn’t want her to find someone else. She wasn’t foolish enough to think that he was in love with her and that he’d eventually figure that out. No, she knew that this was a response to the idea that his favorite fuck buddy would find another man to screw around with. She’d driven that point home for him a few weeks ago when she’d tried to go out with Travis.
She knew that she should turn this offer down, but as her heart pounded in her ears and her eyes burned with tears, she knew she wouldn’t. She loved him and Max so much that the thought of leaving them almost killed her. She’d already decided this week that she would stay with them as long as Tick would let her. Now here he was promising her forever. Forever, but without his love. Not that she’d been delusional enough to think that was really a possibility. She did know however that she loved this man.
She loved him so much she ached with it. She’d never hoped he would offer her this chance to stay with them, but he was. She knew that she deserved better. She should demand better. At the same time she knew that she was her father’s daughter. He’d sacrificed everything in the name of love, even her and her brother. She wouldn’t ever sacrifice her child, but she could sacrifice her heart if it meant she got to keep him and Max. She loved them both too much to refuse.
She reached out, taking the cut from his hand. He grinned, his hand cupping her face as she held the cut on her lap.
“You won’t ever regret this, baby girl.” Tick promised before his lips took hers in a deep kiss. Funny how she already knew that she would, but the choice was made.
Four days later, Ratchet showed up after the city run that he’d quite strangely requested to be on. That was strange because no one liked that run, the people who ran the cities receiving were all a bunch of useless dicks, and no one wanted to have to deal with them. Tick had been damned surprised when Ratchet had asked if he could go instead. Tick had jumped at the chance to get out of it.
Tick watched from the yard where he’d been planting some roses for Charity. She’d liked the ones at the main house so much that he’d
gotten her several of the rosebushes as a surprise and was planting them in front of the house.
Ratchet moved around the cage he’d driven over, which was even stranger. Why the hell had he been driving the truck, Tick wondered. He watched the man reach in and bring out a crate. He walked across the yard smiling at him.
“I see your already pussy whipped. Only took four days.” He chuckled, earning a dark glare from Tick.
“Asshole, what the hell do you want?” Tick asked.
“I brought a gift for Max.” Ratchet told him. “Come inside and I will show you. You’re going to love it.” Then he let out an evil chuckle that let Tick know that he wasn’t going to love it at all.
Fuck, he really hoped this wasn’t another repeat of the snake that son of a bitch had gotten him a year ago. He still had a scar on his foot from where the damned thing had gotten out and bitten him when he was standing near the counter in the kitchen. The snake had claimed that cabinet for his own, and he’d been none too happy that Tick had dared to stand there.
He followed the man inside, stopping to stomp his boots at the door on the mat that Charity had insisted he use since she moved in. She got really bent out of shape when he didn’t use it and tracked dirt across her floor.
Ratchet was already setting the box down on the table beside the coffee table that Max and Charity were playing cards at. Max was already setting his cards down, asking.
“Is that for me, Uncle Ratchet?”
“Yeah, it’s for you, buddy.” Ratchet told him, making Tick almost groan in fear. What the hell had he brought the boy this time, he wondered. He watched as Max opened the small crate then crowed with glee.
“It’s a puppy!” Max cried joyfully.
He was contemplating murdering the man, thinking of puddles of pee all over Charity’s floor and her pissed at him because he’d let his friend give Max a damned puppy, when she let out a coo of pleasure. Moving closer to Max to pet the little puppy. The puppy was brown with large floppy ears and a cute little tail.
“He’s adorable. Where did you find him?” Charity asked scratching the puppy’s head.
“He was near the city and I didn’t want to leave him out there to die. So I thought I’d bring him to Max.” Ratchet told her.
She smiled at him, the same smile she’d given him when he gave her the roses. Making Tick a little jealous of his best friend. How dare he steal his smile? She wasn’t supposed to look at Ratchet that way, only him, damn it.
“What are you going to name him, Max?” she asked, still petting the puppy.
Max held the puppy to him, then looked up at Charity. “I think his name is Floppy because his ears are long and floppy.” He pulled at the dogs ears, laughing.
Charity laughed with the boy. “Yes, I think that name is perfect.” She looked up at Tick and smiled. He grinned back at her then said to Max.
“You have to be careful though. He can’t be allowed to drink anything that might be contaminated. So you’ll have to be sure he doesn’t get out, okay.” Tick told the boy.
“Okay, dad.” Max said, getting up and carrying the puppy towards his room. He spoke to the dog as he walked away. “Floppy you can sleep in my room, and I can show you how to get up on the bed so you can sleep with me…” The boy’s voice trailed off as he entered his room.
Charity smiled at Tick, and he leaned forward unable to resist kissing her. He reached his arms out wrapping them around her. The soft leather of his patch, which he still got a trill out of seeing on her brushed against his chest and he smiled before his lips met hers.
“And that’s my cue to leave, I suppose.” Ratchet said.
“Yeah it is.” Tick growled against her lips.
“Stop being ru-…” He kissed those words off her mouth hearing Ratchet chuckle as he left.
Chapter 15
She was drowning in the knowledge that she wasn’t Vivi. It had happened yesterday. Last night there was a bonfire. The whole crew as well as the farm hands and their wives had all been out dancing, cutting up and having a good time. She’d been with Tick most of the night. Then she’d gone over to talk to Maria who’d been sitting near the fire. Colt was arm wrestling with a prospect named Mark. She sat down next to the woman.
“Hey,” She’d said.
“How’s it going with Tick? I see he patched you.” Maria was smiling.
“Yeah, things are good. Max is glad. He thought it was great that he and his father got keep me. I glad am too.” She’d laughed. In that moment she’d have to say she must have been in denial about what she really was to Tick. The man was still in love with his dead wife for fuck’s sake. They’d chatted for a bit longer. She’d gotten up to go find Tick. She’d been walking up behind him and Ratchet who sat against the railing on the main farmhouse porch. She’d overheard their conversation.
“You’re a lucky bastard finding love twice in your life.” Ratchet had said.
“I’m not in love with her dumb ass. I just like the way she smooth’s things out for us. She takes care of me and the boy.” Tick had said. Those words had nearly broken her heart into a million pieces. She’d known that, but hearing him say it hurt so much more.
“Yeah, I think it’s more than that moron.” Ratchet had said.
“Nope. Believe what you like. She’d damned good in bed.” Tick had told him. She’d flinched, that was what she was reduced to. A woman he wanted to fuck. It was killing her. Only she’d known that it was the way this was going to be. She’d walked into this with her eyes open.
“Fuck, that’s cold, Tick. I still think you’re a lucky bastard. She loves you.”
She’d wanted to hide in that moment. She was that transparent. She’d never wanted to be as pathetic as her father, but she realized in that moment standing in the dark listening to Tick and Ratchet that she was.
“Why have you been taking all the runs to the city?” Tick had asked Ratchet.
“I just need to. No real reason.” Ratchet said.
“Ah, it’s a woman. She from the city?”
“Yeah,” was Ratchet’s only reply.
Charity had ran then. She hadn’t wanted to hear more if they decided to bring the discussion back to her and Tick. She couldn’t believe that she’d allowed this to happen. She had always hated how her father had shut down after her mother left. It was what happened every time the man brought her back. She always wondered how he could let her come back over and over. To let her mother come in and out of their lives with no regard for their feelings.
She was still reeling from the knowledge that accepting the crumbs of affection Tick had offered her was just as bad. She wanted to give the man back his patch. Only she didn’t want to be apart from him and Max. It had broken her heart. Then this morning as she’d been folding laundry she’d heard Max talking to the puppy.
He’d been telling the dog how sorry he was that he didn’t have his real family. That had made her a little heartbroken. Then she’d heard him tell the dog that he knew what that was like his real mom had died. Then he’d told him that Charity wasn’t really a mother, but that she took care of him. Like he’d take care of Floppy. They were his family now. That had brought home the truth that neither Max nor Tick saw her as anything more than a convenient way to have a part of what Vivi had been to them back. Only she was a pale imitation of the real thing.
It had ripped her heart to shreds. She loved them both so much, and she’d known that she’d never be able to replace Vivi. She hadn’t wanted to. But she did want to be important to them in her own way. For them to want her to be here as something other than the person who cleaned up after them, or the woman they wanted to fuck. She felt tears threatening. She had taken Max over to Maria’s an hour ago to play with Conner and Alex who was here for the day. They’d taken off for their fort the puppy trailing after then on a leash.
She went into the bathroom. She needed a warm shower to think about this fiasco. She needed to cry and she didn’t want Tick to see her.
Tick blew out a breath. Charity had been acting strange since last night. He looked for her after talking with Ratchet on the front porch, and discovered that she’d headed back to the house. He’d been surprised that she hadn’t waited on him, but he’d thought maybe she’d been tired. He’d come back to the house to find that she’d already gone to bed. He’d shrugged it off, until this morning. He could tell something was eating at her, but he didn’t know what.
It was making him sorta nuts. He was out of sorts today because of it. He wanted to know what was going on in that head of hers. He also knew that he wasn’t going to allow her to leave him. He had a sneaky suspicion that was what she was up to. He knew that if she ran he’d find her. And when he did he’d chain her to the bed to keep her. She’d agreed when she’d taken his patch, and she wasn’t going anywhere.
He walked into the house walking to the kitchen looking for her. She wasn’t there so he headed up stairs to his room. He heard the shower running. He decided that he’d join her and began striping off his clothes. He stepped into the shower surprised to find her huddled in the corner, crying.
“Baby, what’s wrong. Are you okay?” Tick demanded his heart pounding in fear as he took a survey of every inch of her trying to find where she might be hurt.
He knelt down in front of her as she let out a little hiccup. She looked up at him and then dove towards him. Her arms wrapping around his neck. He held her lifting her to her feet, still holding her against him. He didn’t know what had happened, but if someone had hurt her he was going to kill them.
“Baby girl, please. You’re making me nuts. Tell me what’s wrong.” Tick demanded.
“It’s n-nothing. I just don’t feel really good. I think it’s just that time, you know.” She told him making his heart settle down. He held her tightly.
“Okay, baby girl. It’s okay. Let me shower then I’ll put you to bed and rub your stomach.” He’d quickly washed him and then her when she’d attempted to do it herself and ended up crying even harder. He’d dried her with a towel then lifted her and carried her to the bed lying down with her across his chest. He rubbed her back, and she’d sobbed her heart out in his arms.
Finding Charity: Red Devils M.C. Page 9
