by Mia Ford
“Can’t stay,” I said. “I never sleep well in someone else’s bed. You understand, right?”
Hannah nodded. “Not really,” she said. She bit her lip and blushed, looking down at the dusty wooden floorboards. “Oh well,” she added. “I’m fine.”
I cocked my head to the side. “Why wouldn’t you be?”
Hannah shrugged. “I don’t know,” she said quietly. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Justin.”
Before I could reply, she dashed down the hall and into the bathroom. With a sigh, I left before I had too much time to think about whether or not she was crying.
When I got home, I was surprised to discover that I couldn’t relax. Normally, my alone time after sex was some of my favorite time in the world because it was when I was at my most relaxed. I always liked to pour myself a drink and lean back, thinking about the amazingly gorgeous woman I’d just screwed.
But this time was different. For some reason, even with a tumbler of whiskey in my hand, I couldn’t calm down. I kept thinking about how sad Hannah had looked when I’d left her apartment, like I’d somehow crushed all of her dreams at once.
It’s just because she was a virgin, I thought. She’s never had any kind of experience with men before, so yeah, obviously she’s going to be clingy.
I shouldn’t have slept with her. I knew it – I didn’t need my subconscious reminding me of that fact at will. But I knew that I’d screwed up, and I wondered what I could do to make it right.
I’m thirty years old, and I’ve never had a real relationship. I’ve had dates, yeah, but there was never any woman that seemed special enough to settle down with. Or hell, there was never any woman tantalizing enough to make me want to commit. All of the women I’ve fucked have been gorgeous – some even pretty enough to model. But there was never any kind of connection.
Frowning, I thought back to the conversation that I’d had with Hannah in the back of the limo. I shivered, realizing that I’d been more candid with her than with anyone else in my lifetime.
What the hell was happening to me?
Finally, I crawled into bed after nursing three more glasses of whiskey and fell into a dark, dreamless sleep.
The next day, my father called me into his office first thing. My stomach was in knots – I was sure that he was about to call me out for sleeping with Hannah after my very first day on the job. Instead, he narrowed his eyes.
“Justin, be aware that I’m going to be keeping a very close eye on you,” he said slowly. “So you know. Don’t think about stepping a toe out of line.”
I laughed. “Pops, why the hell do you think I’d do something like that?” I smirked. “You’re going to cut off my inheritance, I know. So yeah, obviously, I’m going to behave myself.”
My father turned red in the face with anger and I silently congratulated myself for making him explode.
“You know this is serious, Justin,” my father hissed. He stood up, leaning over his desk. There was a bulging, angry vein popping out of his forehead. “This is a company, my company! If you do anything stupid, anything that could get us sued…God! Look at how you’ve forced me to deal with you!”
“Come the fuck on,” I said, crossing my arms over my chest and snorting. “What the hell do you think I’m gonna do, Dad?”
My father was so angry he was turning purple. “Do not test me, Justin,” Dad hissed. “Do not even think about crossing an inappropriate boundary!”
“What are you even talking about?” I snapped. “Give me a little fucking credit! I just started yesterday!”
“You were leering at Hannah,” Dad spat. “You were looking at her in a way that could make us get sued for sexual harassment! Keep your fucking dick in your pants, Justin!”
I rolled my eyes. “Whatever,” I said, turning on my heel and walking out of the office.
But as soon as I was away from my father, I knew that he likely wasn’t wrong. I wasn’t sure whether or not he was serious about taking away my inheritance, but I didn’t want to do anything to risk it. And maybe he was right – maybe if someone had seen me kissing Hannah in the office, that would be enough to get me fired right then and there.
“Hi Justin,” Hannah chirped as I walked past her desk. She was wearing a low-cut black dress that made her already-fantastic tits look even better. As I walked by, she smiled seductively and pressed her arms against her breasts, creating a magnificent line of cleavage.
“Whatever,” I mumbled, pushing past her and sitting down hard at my desk.
Hannah’s smile faltered but I could tell that she was still trying for a cheery tone.
“Did you get home okay last night? You know, I was so hungry but I still have all that Chinese food. Want some? I brought it into work,” Hannah said. She held up a lunch bag in the air. “Doesn’t that sound good?”
I stared at her dully, realizing all the ways I’d fucked up. She was a good girl – much too good for me. And now, unless I did something drastic, I was slowly going to break her heart one little piece at a time.
Forcing myself to smile, I stared at Hannah. “You know, don’t talk to me unless it’s about work,” I said casually. “Creovation, Inc. isn’t really a place for idle chatter. I’m surprised my father didn’t tell you that when you interviewed.”
Tears sprang to Hannah’s eyes and she bolted out of the room, running blindly down the hall. A sharp pain stabbed me in the chest as I watched her dart off.
I’m so sorry, I thought as I watched her go. But this is how it has to be. This is for the best.
Hannah
I was crying so hard that I couldn’t breathe. The tears were escaping from my eyes and falling down my cheeks so rapidly that I was as wet as I’d been yesterday in the rainstorm. My nose was filled with liquid snot that felt like concrete in my sinuses, and my hands were stained black with huge droplets of mascara.
I’d never worn waterproof mascara before, but I was starting to realize that it might be the best option from here on out.
I could barely think. My heart was hurting so much – it was like someone had physically stabbed me in the chest. My lungs ached and I sucked in mouthfuls of air, desperately trying to relax and calm down. But all I could think about was how I’d failed. How I’d fucked up – how I’d been stupid enough to sleep with literally the first guy who’d ever treated me kindly.
My mouth hardened into a thin, angry line as I remembered the way Justin had treated me when I’d first met him. He’d been so awful – I should have known that his true colors were all bad ones.
The bathroom door burst open and I heard a clattering group of heels cross the tiled floor. Sucking in air, I pulled my knees to my chest and braced a hand against the stall door. The last thing I needed was someone else from Creovation, Inc. finding out that I was sobbing in the bathroom like a little kid.
“Oh my god, did you see William’s son?” A high female voice gushed. Peeking down beneath the stall door, I saw three pairs of heels standing in front of the row of sinks.
“What a hottie,” another woman said. “God, I’d like to get my hands on that!”
“You’re such a slut, Trisha,” the first voice said. “As if he’d sleep with someone like you. You’ve been with half the company already!”
Trisha made a whiny sound and stamped on the floor with her heel. “But he’s so hot!”
“Yeah, if you feel like catching something,” the first woman said in a snarky voice. “Come on, we’re gonna be late.”
I shrank down as low as I possibly could as the women exited the bathroom. Their words had somehow made me feel even worse. I wasn’t angry, I wasn’t sad – I was just numb. I was a fool who deserved everything that I’d gotten, and this was all my fault.
Part of me wanted to leave work. Dry my eyes, grab my things, and just disappear into the grimy subway tunnels of Manhattan. But the stronger part of me knew that wasn’t a good idea – that was just letting Justin win. If I was going to come out on top, I’d have to show him tha
t I couldn’t be easily messed with.
When I got back to my desk, Justin looked as white as a ghost. I gave him my best attempt at a smirk before lowering myself down into my desk chair. Yeah, you thought I’d be gone, didn’t you, I thought as I glared at him over the edge of my computer monitor. But I’m still here, and I’m not going anywhere.
William came out of his office, looking frazzled.
“Hannah, I need those reports filed by the end of the day,” he said, glancing at his watch. “I have to run if I’m going to make my flight.”
“Oh, I didn’t know you were going out of town,” I said.
“I’ll be back in the morning,” William said. “Just a meeting, that’s all.”
“Wow,” I said, enjoying the way Justin was staring at me with an open mouth and a slack jaw. “I can’t imagine flying somewhere just for a meeting.”
William chuckled. “It’s a fun life,” he said sarcastically. “Have a good night, Hannah.”
I felt smug as I noticed he didn’t even say goodbye to his own son. Okay, I made a mistake, but I’ll be okay, I thought as I watched William’s figure disappear down the hall. Everybody screws up. At least it happened now instead of later.
Turning to Justin, I stood up and wiped my palms on my dress.
“Please file these for me,” I said in a dry, emotionless voice. “I’m leaving.”
“It’s only four,” Justin protested. “Where the hell are you going?”
I forced myself to smile. Looking into his sapphire eyes made all of the passion from the night before come rushing back in a painful torrent of memories, but I couldn’t let him know that I was suffering.
“I’m leaving,” I said with a tight smile. “That’s all you need to know.”
An hour later, I was leaning on Susan’s shoulder, trying not to cry into my cocktail. We were at our usual bar for happy hour – thankfully, it was crowded like usual – and I couldn’t relax.
“I have to tell you something,” I said with a sip of my drink. It was only my second, but the alcohol was starting to work its magic and I felt looser and happier than I had almost all day.
“Sure,” Susan said. “What’s up?”
I swallowed hard. “I lost my virginity,” I said.
“Oh my god, last night?”
I nodded.
“To whom?”
I bit my lip and glanced down into my mojito. “With Justin Long,” I said quietly.
“What?” Susan’s loud cry scalded my ears and I frowned, wincing as a sharp pain shot through my head. “Sorry,” she said quickly, leaning forward and grabbing one of my hands. “Girl, what the hell happened?”
“You know how it was raining last night?” I asked miserably. Susan nodded and I took a long swallow of my drink. My throat burned from the tequila but I didn’t care – at least something was helping.
“Yeah, but it wasn’t raining men,” Susan said. “How the hell did you meet up with him? Did you go back to work?”
I shook my head. Blonde curls spun into my peripheral vision and for a moment, I had a horrible feeling that I was going to pass out.
“No,” I said. “I left here – I was running towards the subway station. And as soon as I got to the corner, he pulled up in a limo and told me to get in.”
“Oh my god, Hannah, you didn’t,” Susan gasped. She covered her mouth with one hand and looked at me, truly scandalized. I felt a slight touch of pride – now that our positions were reversed, I almost enjoyed telling the heartbreaking tale of how I’d lost my virginity.
“I did,” I said with a touch of smugness. “I had to. I didn’t really have a choice. I was soaking wet, and it’s not like I have health insurance right now. I can’t really afford to get sick.”
“Well, shit,” Susan said. “Shouldn’t have done that, should you?”
I sighed. “I don’t know what happened. He gave me champagne and he was so charming – it was like a total one-eighty from his behavior at work. I couldn’t believe it, he was like a totally different person.”
Susan snorted. “Men always are when they think there’s a chance of getting laid because of it.”
That stung. “Ouch,” I said.
“Sorry.”
“Anyway, his limo driver took me home. Justin leaned in to kiss me, and then we stopped. I was so crazy – being with him and talking was really making me think he was different. So, I invited him up.”
“Damn,” Susan said. “Handled like a pro.”
“Except today he completely ignored me,” I said. “He basically told me not to talk to him.” I glanced down into my drink. “I feel like such a loser, Susan. It’s so incredibly obvious that he only wanted me for sex!”
“Maybe he’s worried about getting in trouble with his father,” Susan suggested. “You did mention that he’s on a tight leash.”
“Well that didn’t stop him yesterday.” I made a sour face, then poured the rest of my drink down my throat. “If he really wanted to behave, he never would have kissed me. Much less asked me for a ride in his limo and then basically seduced my pants right off.”
Susan sighed. “Well, I’ve had times like that, too,” she said slowly. “Maybe it’s better it happened now and you’re used to it.”
I sighed. “ I guess,” I mumbled.
“Hey, I’ll be right back,” Susan said. She hopped off the barstool and handed me her purse. “Gotta pee.”
I nodded, watching as my pretty friend wove her way through the crowd. I didn’t get it – I thought I’d been doing fine. I’d acted just like Susan would have, and it hadn’t done me any good. In fact, if anything, I just felt worse than ever.
The self-confidence that I’d imposed on myself from earlier was starting to wear off and I felt sadder than ever. I should just go home and take a long bath, I thought. Get a fresh start tomorrow. Make ignoring Justin my real job and writing copy my part-time gig.
“Excuse me,” a smooth male voice said. “Is this seat taken?”
Spinning around, I saw a handsome guy standing right behind Susan’s empty seat.
“Um, sorry, yeah, my friend just went to the bathroom,” I said, blushing. “She’ll be right back.”
“Damn,” the guy said. He winked at me. He was cute – blonde hair, blue eyes, nice skin. But there was no spark when I looked at him – nothing that made me feel the jittery, excited, anxious way I felt around Justin.
“Sorry,” I said. I turned back to the bar, ever-conscious of the man’s stare at my back.
“So, I didn’t come over here because there was an empty seat,” the man continued. “I came over because I thought you looked like you could use a drink.”
Turning around, I frowned at him. I gestured to the mojito in my hand. “I’ve got one,” I said. “Thanks, though.”
The guy laughed. “I’m Aaron,” he said. “Can I buy you another drink?”
I frowned. I didn’t know whether or not I should say yes or no. My disastrous experience with Justin the day before had taught me a lesson, but then again, I’d never get good at dating if I didn’t at least try.
“Um, sure, I guess,” I said. “But I’m really sorry, you still can’t sit here.”
Aaron laughed. It was a nice laugh – an easy laugh, not complicated like Justin.
“It’s fine,” he said. “I like standing.”
I smiled. Just as I was starting to think this whole flirting thing wasn’t that bad, Aaron went flying to the side. Gasping in surprise, I leapt up from my stool.
“Oh my god, are you okay?”
Justin was standing there, his right hand balled into a fist. He was glaring at Aaron.
“Hannah’s spoken for,” Justin hissed through gritted teeth. “She’s not free to date you – or anyone else.”
“What the hell, man,” Aaron complained, getting to his feet and brushing his hands off. “You trying to fight me?”
Justin ignored him. My heart skipped a beat as Justin stepped closer, making the space betwee
n our bodies disappear.
“I need you,” Justin said urgently. “You’re mine.”
Before I could reply, Justin had wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close. He crushed his lips to mine in a smoldering kiss that left my stomach twisted in an anxious knot of fear and desire.
“I don’t know what this means,” I said softly, breaking away. Justin’s sapphire blue eyes staring into mine were hypnotizing, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was headed for disaster.
Justin squeezed my hand. “I don’t know, either,” he murmured. Leaning down, he kissed me once again. “But I know that I can’t stand the sight of you with another man. You belong to me, Hannah,” he said fiercely, kissing me deeply. “You’re mine.”
I melted in his arms. “Yours,” was all I could say.
Justin
When Hannah had left the office, I knew that I had to find a way to win her back. It wasn’t just that I’d made her cry – it was that somehow, magically, impossibly, I’d started to fall in love with her.
Seeing her talking to another guy made me murderously angry. I hadn’t intended to punch anyone, but that blonde smug fuck was in for trouble if he messed with my girl. And the way Hannah had melted right in my arms afterwards made me feel that it had been completely and totally worth it.
Hannah had her arms around my neck. She smelled a little like flowers and tequila, and I wondered why I’d never noticed how beautiful her green eyes were until that very moment.
“You’re gorgeous,” I whispered into her ear, leaning down and nibbling her earlobe. Hannah blushed, then shoved her ass against me, sending me into a spasm of desire.
“Susan!” Hannah cried out. She pulled away from me. “Over here!”
A thin, pretty girl was making her way through the crowd. When she looked at Hannah and then at me, her eyes widened.
“Oh,” Susan said. “You must be Justin.”
I winced. “I take it I was a subject of conversation before I arrived,” I said gruffly. Shit. They must have been talking about what a complete jerk I am. I really fucked that one up good.
