by Mia Ford
Veronica pressed her temples with her thumbs, trying to stop the dull ache that was arising. How had she let that happen? How had she allowed herself to fall into Frank’s arms so soon after Calvin proposed? She had made up her mind to spend the night by herself, thinking over things. All her resolve had melted away the moment she set eyes on Frank.
She shook her head, trying to get the raging thoughts in her head to settle. She could still hear Calvin’s voice ringing in her ears. He had told her that her place was in his house, on his bed and that he wanted to wake up every morning with her by his side. She gulped as she thought about that. They had spent so many years together. They had a strong history, their lives were wound up together…he certainly had a point when he said that her place was in his home.
Then she also remembered that he had pointed out how that was what her parents would want. He was right about that too, wasn’t he? More than anything else, that was what her parents were most happy with about her. That she had a handsome successful boyfriend, and they had high hopes that one day they would get married and live in a big comfortable house and start a family.
She didn’t even want to imagine what her parents would say if they found out about Frank. They definitely wouldn’t be thrilled. The prospect of being with an older man, who already has two children would not be something that they wanted for their daughter. Especially her father. No matter how successful or rich Frank was, they would always assume that Frank was with her only for her body and her young age.
Besides, Veronica didn’t even know for certain if he wanted to marry again. What if Frank was done with marriage and never asked her for her hand? She wasn’t sure if she wanted to spend the rest of her life just as somebody’s girlfriend. Despite how much she loved the girls, Ashley and Kaitlyn, she also still wanted her own children. What if Frank didn’t want any more kids?
Veronica slid her legs off the bed and stood up, swaying a little on her feet. She could still feel the sensitive spot between her thighs throbbing, where Frank had driven into her with much force the previous night. At least, that wasn’t a dream, she thought and smiled.
Then the guilt came flooding in, all over again. Calvin had truly changed his ways. He had taken all her complaints and tried to make a positive change in his life and a positive change in their relationship. And how had she rewarded him? By cheating on him, and avoiding seeing him as much as possible.
Veronica stepped into the bathroom and splashed some hot water on her face and began brushing her teeth. Despite all the thoughts in her head, she still had a day to get on with. She realized that she had overslept, so she wouldn’t have the time to go for a run this morning. She still had a breakfast to prepare nonetheless, and get the girls up and ready for school.
She stared at herself in the mirror for some moments longer than necessary. She still hadn’t come to a final decision about what she was going to do, but she knew, deep in her heart that she was leaning towards Calvin. Towards giving him another chance, towards saying yes. Frank had said that he would respect whatever decision she made…but every time she thought of Frank, about ending it with him, she felt her heart break a little. What would her life look like without him in it? For the past four weeks, her life had revolved entirely around him, his home and his children. She was happy here, she wanted for nothing.
She knew she was falling in love with Frank too, it had transcended sex. It wasn’t just lust any more, it was more than that. Like he said, they connected on an emotional level. The sex the previous night for instance, blew her mind…but saying yes to Calvin was the right thing to do. The right way forward.
Marrying Calvin would give her the stability in life she needed, and also keep her parents happy. It was the right decision for the future of her life. Perhaps in the long run, she would be happier if she spent her life with Calvin…and perhaps Frank could not give her more than what he was already giving her.
Veronica took a quick shower, changed into a pair of tight slim jeans that accentuated all her curves, and a floral blouse; before stepping out of her room to go downstairs and prepare breakfast. The grandfather clock on the landing told her that it was time for Frank to come back from his run. Which meant that it might give them an opportunity to talk in private before the girls woke up.
Veronica was flipping pancakes when she saw Frank enter the kitchen through the pool doors as usual. She jerked her head up to look at him and noticed how good he looked. The t-shirt he had worn for his run was sticking to his body, she could see the sweat trickling down the sides of his face. His hair looked damp and his eyes were bright and narrowed.
“Morning,” she said cheerily, recognizing how he made her feel just by entering a room. She was still stressed over all the thoughts in her head, and the big decision she needed to make, but she was sure that she would feel better once she spoke to Frank.
He grunted and turned to one of the cupboards to take a glass out. In silence, he filled it with tap water and turned away from her to drink it.
Veronica stared at the back of his head blankly. She couldn’t understand what was going on. He was usually happy and cheerful after a run, and on other days she would have been in his arms by now, embracing in a tight hug.
“Pancakes?” she forced herself to ask, which made him turn sideways a little, only to look at her over his shoulder.
“I’m good, thanks,” he said in a deep voice that startled her. Veronica was now getting the feeling that she had done something wrong. She remembered the way he had made love to her the previous night. He was rougher than usual, like he was trying to prove something…even though she had enjoyed herself, she couldn’t help but wonder if Frank was still jealous of the fact that she had gone on a date with Calvin.
“Frank, is something wrong?” she asked him, stopping the work she was doing.
He finished drinking the glass of water and smacked it on the kitchen island, before turning to her. She saw the rage in his eyes. His face was darkened and she could see that he was clenching his jaw.
“Nothing is wrong, Veronica,” he said, in that same deep voice that scared her a little. She licked her lips and met his eyes nervously.
“Did you spend the night in my room? I was surprised to find you missing in the morning,” she said in a meek voice, hoping that he might care to explain. She knew for certain now that he hadn’t slept in her bed.
“No. I was in my room,” he said flatly, without any intention of continuing the conversation.
“Frank, something is wrong. You’re not yourself. Please tell me what’s wrong,” she cried and walked around the kitchen island towards him. She was surprised to find that Frank took a step away from her. As though he didn’t want to get too close to her incase he got burned!
“Nothing is wrong, Veronica. Everything is exactly the way it should be. I hope you have a nice day. Say hi to the girls for me,” he said and with that he was out of the room in seconds. Veronica remained standing there in silence, watching him leave. She still hadn’t moved, even though she heard his shoes on the stairs, then the opening and slamming of his bedroom door upstairs.
She was completely at a loss now. He seemed fine the previous night, even if he admitted that he was jealous of Calvin, he hadn’t taken out his anger on her. Veronica gulped, still confused and a little hurt now as she went back to stacking the pancakes on plates. Wiping her hand on a kitchen towel, she went up to the girls’ bedrooms.
Ashley and Kaitlyn were never any trouble to wake up. She went through the usual routine with them, of helping them brush their teeth and wash their little faces. She brought them down to the kitchen after that, the whole time trying to keep a cheerful face on, for their sakes.
“Where’s daddy?” Kaitlyn asked after a few minutes of chewing her food. Frank usually came over to say bye to them before leaving for work, even if he didn’t have breakfast with them.
“He was in a rush. He told me to say hi,” Veronica told her, taking a seat across from them
at the breakfast bar. Kaitlyn looked crestfallen as she ate, while Ashley hung her head over her food.
“What’s wrong girls? You’ll see him in the afternoon again. I’m sure he misses being here,” Veronica said, realizing that a lump had formed in her throat.
Ashley looked like she was hesitating to say something. She kept exchanging looks with her younger sister. They were too young anyway to successfully keep secrets, and Veronica gave them some time. She knew Ashley was going to spill eventually.
“We’re just sad that maybe daddy is going to go back to before,” she said in a sad voice.
“Go back to before? What do you mean, sweetheart?” Veronica asked, and reached for Ashley’s hand.
“Like before you came to the house. He was always sad and grumpy after mommy died. But ever since you came to stay with us, he is happy and spends more time with us,” she explained and Veronica felt her heart sinking.
“He just had work, girls. Nothing to worry about. Now c’mon, lets get you ready for school,” Veronica declared, standing up from her chair.
She guided the kids out of the kitchen and back up to their rooms so they could take their showers and change into fresh clothes for the day. The whole time, she felt like she was going to implode from what she had just heard, combined with Frank’s behavior from the morning. If the girls were being truthful, it meant that having her here had made a huge impact on Frank’s life. He was being honest when he said that he had never done anything like this before, with any of his employees. It could mean that their relationship actually meant something more to him than just sex.
Frank didn’t return in the afternoon, as was his usual routine. Instead, it was after dinner, after Veronica had already tucked the girls into their beds that she heard the front door opening. She hurried down the stairs and found Frank hanging up his overcoat on the coat rack and placing his briefcase by the door.
“Where have you been?” she asked, as she reached the landing of the stairs. She was aware of the strain in her voice, but she couldn’t help herself.
“Work. Why?” he asked, fixing narrowed dark eyes on her. His beard looked freshly trimmed and he was in his formal office wear that made him look more intimidating than usual. Veronica caught the lump in her throat and she gulped.
“The girls have been asking about you. We didn’t know you weren’t coming home at your usual time,” she said, taking a step towards him. She had missed him all day, especially after his behavior from the morning. Veronica yearned for his touch, but Frank stood his ground. She could see now that he wasn’t going to reach out to her.
“They know that I’m sometimes held back at the office. And it’s not like I need to ask for your permission before I change my plans,” he said curtly and it felt like a dagger had been struck in her heart. Veronica thrust her chin out to him and realized that her lip was quivering.
“Yes, I know. I only work here,” she said, trying to sound as firm as possible even though she was crumbling inside. Without a word, Frank stepped past her and walked towards the living room. She followed him.
They were both silent as he walked over to the bar in the corner and poured himself some whiskey in a crystal glass. He didn’t offer her any, but Veronica knew that he was aware of her presence in the room. He was purposely choosing to ignore her.
“What’s changed, Frank?” she blurted out, when she realized that he wasn’t going to say anything. She couldn’t just remain silent endlessly. He swirled his drink around in his glass and then slowly turned to her.
“You tell me, Veronica,” he said and a small sarcastic smile was forming on his face.
She was stumped. Yes, a lot of things had changed since she met Calvin. But nothing between Frank and her.
“I don’t know what you mean. You were fine last night when I came home and since today morning you’ve been pushing me away, like we’re strangers,” she said, clasping her hands together. She was thankful that the girls were already asleep, because they definitely didn’t need to hear this.
Frank took a few hurried sips of his drink and then smacked his lips, before fixing his eyes on her again.
“We are strangers, Veronica, aren’t we? I mean, how much do we actually know each other?” he said and she shook her head, her nostrils flaring. Why was he tiptoeing around what he had to say? Why wasn’t he just being honest with her?
“Last evening, before I left for the restaurant, you told me that you cared for me deeply. That you wanted nothing more than to be with me. What has changed since then? What makes you think that we don’t even know each other?” she said, aware of the tears welling up in the corners of her eyes. She was already awash with guilt, full to the brim with the anxious thoughts in her head…with the decision she had to make. Who knew when Calvin might call and demand for her answer? And Frank was only making it worse for her. He was making her feel like she was all alone.
“A lot of things have changed since you went to the restaurant, hasn’t it?” he asked and Veronica watched in silence as he gulped the whole drink down his throat in one go. He slammed the glass down on the bar and proceeded to fold his arms over his chest. His eyes seemed like they were trying to burn a hole right through her head. She had never seen Frank so angry. This was probably what people talked about, when they said that he was a difficult and harsh man to work with.
“What’s changed? You know nothing about what happened at the restaurant. You’re only making assumptions and taking your anger out on me!” Veronica’s voice was raised now, but she couldn’t control herself. Even though the truth was that a lot of things had changed, Frank had no way of knowing that. And she was sure that he hadn’t followed her to the restaurant and seen Calvin proposing.
“You’re right, I have no way of knowing exactly what’s changed. Especially since the first thing you did when you came home was have sex with me,” he said, maintaining his calm deep voice.
“You wanted it too!” Veronica said, aghast.
“You’re right. We both wanted it, but you failed to point out a crucial factor of the night. Which was entirely your responsibility,” he said, keeping his small glimmering dark eyes trained on her. Veronica could hardly look at him any more, without the fear of breaking into a volley of tears.
“What crucial factor? Why don’t you just tell me what’s on your mind?” she said, through gritted teeth now. She could sense that she was beginning to lose her patience.
“I found it, Veronica,” Frank said and drew in a tired deep breath. “The ring. It fell out of your purse in the study, maybe when we were stripping our clothes off each other. I found it when I came back down to turn off the lights after you were already in bed,” he continued.
Veronica could do nothing but stare at him, her mind had stopped functioning.
“It’s a beautiful ring and I suppose congratulations are in order!” he added.
“Frank, I…” Veronica tried to formulate the words but he only waved his hand away like he didn’t want her to bother with an explanation.
“Like I said, Veronica, I respect your decision. You’ve decided to marry him, and that’s fine. What I am concerned with is that you kept it from me and then proceeded to have sex with me, knowing fully well that you now officially belong to another man,” he said and turned away from her with a jerk, to pour himself another drink.
Veronica stepped towards him when his back was turned, in the hopes that she might be able to find the words to explain it to him better. She wanted to get closer to him.
“I wanted to, Frank…I really did,” she muttered and he turned to look at her again.
“But you didn’t, did you?” he said and Veronica noted how completely calm he sounded, despite the anger she could see in his eyes.
“You told me that you didn’t want to hear the details then, not before we made love first,” she argued in a strained voice and Frank sighed and shook his head.
“When your first words weren’t - it’s over between us Frank, I as
sumed that there was no reason for us to not continue as usual,” he said, his voice rising a little but within seconds he had calmed himself back down. “I had no reason to believe that anything had changed. I asked you to spare me the details of an awkward date with an ex boyfriend, not spare me the most important detail; that you are now engaged to the man I thought you were going to break up with,” he said and with a huff he shook his head, as though there was something funny about that.
Veronica stared at him, her dark eyes widened, her breathing going heavy.
“I’m not engaged to him, Frank,” she said and suddenly the sarcastic smile from his face dropped.
“What was the ring for then? It certainly looks like an engagement ring to me,” he said and took a swig of his drink.
“Yes, Calvin did propose, but you should have asked me first Frank, instead of just assuming things,” Veronica said and now it was her turn to fold her arms over her chest. Frank followed her movements and she noticed the way he gazed for a few moments at her breasts before looking away. Despite the conversation they were having, Veronica was well aware of the existing sexual tension in the room.
“I haven’t given him an answer. He forced me to take the ring with me, to think over my decision. But last night, when we had sex, I wasn’t and am still not engaged,” she said.
A silence hung between them for a few seconds. Frank was breathing hard. She could see how his knuckles had turned white as he gripped the glass tightly in his hand. It was like he didn’t believe a word of what she was saying.
“Frank…” Veronica said, taking a few steps towards him. Thankfully he didn’t move away this time, but neither did he reach for her.
“I didn’t say yes because I’m torn, don’t you see that?” she said and he clenched his jaw.
“But you didn’t say no either,” he said and Veronica could only stare back at him.
In a flash he had slammed the glass down on the counter and taken two long steps in her direction. She was in his arms and Veronica let out a sigh of relief. She had spent the whole day yearning, craving for his touch and now finally she could have it.
