by Mia Ford
“Oh my god, no!” I cried loudly, feeling scandalized. “What makes you think I’d do something so stupid?”
Megan looked at me for a long time. “No,” she said slowly. “I just think…well, come on, Kristin. Sometimes you overshare with your parents. It’s one of the reasons why they’re so overprotective of you.”
I frowned. That wasn’t the answer I’d been hoping for.
Megan and I barely talked as we wandered through the store. I didn’t really feel that great about shopping anymore, but I knew Andrew would ask a lot of questions if I came home empty handed. Finally, I picked out a few pairs of jeans and a new sweater, along with some panties.
“You should buy lingerie,” Megan said. “For Andrew.”
I stared at her. “I thought you said what I was doing was gross?”
Megan shook her head. “I shouldn’t have said that,” she replied. “I’m sorry. It was just kind of a shock.” She pulled me into a tight hug. “I’m sorry, Kristin.”
I smiled. “Thanks,” I replied. “But you mean it? Lingerie? Really?”
Megan raised an eyebrow and smirked. “Why not?”
Megan led me to the lingerie section. Just looking at the array of silk and lace made me blush. She loaded up my arms with bra and panty sets, chemises, teddies, and bodysuits. When I went into the fitting room, I took off my clothes and stared down at my naked body.
Even though I felt different, I looked exactly the same. I still had the same small, perky breasts as before. My belly looked the same, too – small with just a tiny little hint of roundness. And my hips were still narrow, girlish. I blushed.
“This is going to look so stupid on me,” I whispered through the curtain. “Megan, I feel ridiculous!”
“Well, stop complaining and try something on,” Megan whispered back. “You won’t know until you try!”
I pulled on a pair of silk panties. The material slid smoothly along my skin, and I felt a trace of arousal spark through my body. The panties snugly fit my pussy and I moved my hips from side to side, feeling sexy and sleek. I paired them with a silk bra that only pushed my breasts up high and showed my nipples. With a soft sigh, I ran my hands over my body.
I did feel different, I realized. I felt sexy and more powerful than ever before.
When I left the store an hour later, I was wearing the new silk panties and revealing bra under a new sweater and jeans. Even Megan commented on the way I couldn’t stop smirking.
“Now you look like a real woman,” Megan said. We hugged at the bus stop. “Call me and tell me how things are going?”
I nodded.
“Are you coming home?”
I shrugged. “Not for a while,” I said. “At least, not tonight.”
I went back to Andrew’s, expecting him and Victor to pounce on me immediately. But instead, they both kept their distance. And when we sat down for dinner, I could sense that something wrong and awkward was hanging in the air.
“This is delicious,” I said, breaking the silence between the three of us. Andrew had made pasta with angel hair and red sauce and it was delicious. I slurped up a big bite, wiping the messy sauce from my cheeks and blushing.
“Kristin, what do you think about going with me to a concert on Friday?” Victor raised an eyebrow and took a sip of wine. “You might enjoy it.”
“I was going to take Kristin out on Friday,” Andrew said, glaring at Victor. “You didn’t even give me a chance to ask her.”
“Well, I asked her first,” Victor said hotly. “So what do you think, Kristin? How about it?”
I glanced from Victor to Andrew, feeling confused. I didn’t know how to explain it, but there was something very odd about feeling like the two men were competing for my attention.
“Um, I don’t know,” I said timidly. “We’ll have to see how I’m feeling, I guess.”
“Whatever,” Victor mumbled. “Just thought I’d ask.”
Now I felt guilty. I didn’t know how to explain it, but somehow the idea of being alone with Victor made me feel slightly uncomfortable. It wasn’t because I didn’t trust him, but I didn’t exactly know him very well, either. After all, Andrew was my stepbrother. He was the one who’d spent more time with me, making sure that I felt comfortable and that I was getting along in Boston, without my parents. With Victor, I wasn’t even sure what we’d talk about if it came to that.
“So, Kristin, how was the rest of your day?” Andrew took a bite of pasta.
“It was fine, I went shopping with Megan,” I told him. Reaching into the back pocket of my pants, I pulled out my wallet and plucked the credit card free. Handing it back to Andrew, I blushed.
“What did you buy?” Victor asked.
I swallowed nervously and pushed back from the table, lifting my sweater high and showing off the sexy bra. My nipples were already stiff and swollen from having rubbed against the material of my sweater all day, and I was aching for attention.
Victor and Andrew looked at me, their faces covered in lust. Victor got up and started to move towards me, but Andrew stayed put.
“Can we finish dinner?” Andrew asked pointedly. “Very nice, Kristin.”
I sat down, somehow feeling like I’d screwed up.
After dinner, I went upstairs and started putting my new clothes away in the dresser drawer that Andrew had cleared for me. I was just about done when I heard the bedroom door open. Heavy footsteps sounded behind me, and strong muscular hands wrapped around my waist, gripping me tightly.
“You’re so sexy,” Andrew whispered in my ear. I blushed, turning around in his arms and tilting my chin up for a kiss. When our lips met, it was in a flurry of passion. Arousal and lust spiked in my blood as Andrew tangled his fingers in my hand, feeding on my open mouth. His tongue danced in my mouth and I felt my pussy tingling with excitement. Wrapping my arms around Andrew’s shoulders, I pulled him close and shoved my body against his muscular bulk.
“Thanks,” I whispered softly when we’d broken away. My breath was coming in frantic, damp bursts and I shivered at the intense way Andrew’s eyes flicked over my body.
“I don’t want to share you, Kristin,” Andrew panted. “I want you all for myself.”
An elicit shiver ran through my body as Andrew stared deeply into my eyes. When we kissed, I pressed myself close to him. Somehow, it felt even more intimate just being with him alone than being with him and Victor at the same time. Andrew sucked and nibbled on my lower lip, making me moan deeply into his mouth.
“God,” I purred. “Andrew, I want you.”
Andrew’s hands slid under my sweater. He rubbed his thumbs over my swollen nipples and I gasped in pleasure as he began to pinch and pull at the stiff flesh. Arousal swirled through my lower body and I moaned. Andrew shoved a muscular thigh between my legs, pressing it against the crotch of my jeans. My pussy was on fire inside the silk panties and I eagerly ground against Andrew’s thick leg.
The bedroom door burst open and Andrew and I leapt apart. I blushed madly as Victor walked into the room, smirking.
“Hey, Kristin,” Victor said. “Come here.” He beckoned me with a finger. Desire and lust were swirling through my body, but suddenly I felt confused.
“Damnit, don’t you knock?” Andrew asked angrily. “Come on, man. We were having a moment.”
Victor frowned. “Kristin, don’t you want to kiss me?”
I sighed and flopped down on the bed, feeling a confused blend of emotion and horniness.
“I don’t know how to deal with you both,” I said hotly, shaking my head from one side to the other. My skin was still buzzing and itching for Andrew’s touch, but now that Victor was here, I had a feeling we wouldn’t get to pick up where we left off. The mood had been ruined. Even though I’d had incredible sex with both of them, and even though I’d picked out the lingerie for both Andrew and Victor, I couldn’t deny that somehow, being alone with Andrew almost felt more taboo than being with both men at the same time.
“What a
re you talking about?” Victor crossed his arms over his chest and narrowed his eyes. “We’re both your friends.”
“You’re fighting over me,” I said, blushing. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to make things awkward, but it feels weird for me!”
Andrew and Victor glared at each other.
“You don’t have to play this game anymore, Kristin,” Andrew said. “You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do.”
I stared at him, loving the pleading look in his dark eyes. As much as I wanted to throw myself at him, I knew that I couldn’t. Tears welled up in my eyes and I bit my lip, glancing up at the ceiling so I wouldn’t cry. It felt incredibly weird to be crying when I was still horny.
Everything was so mixed up. I didn’t know what to do.
“Kristin, maybe you—“
“Shut up,” Andrew hissed to Victor. “She’s upset, okay? Give her some space!”
“I wasn’t demanding anything,” Victor snapped. “I just wanted her to hear my point of view. Kristin—“
“Shut up,” Andrew growled, louder than before. “We should give her some space.”
“No, I think she needs to finish talking—“
“Shut up!” I screamed, jumping to my feet. “I can’t do this anymore!” I looked sadly from Andrew to Victor as my heart thumped loudly in my chest. “I have to go home,” I said softly. “This…this isn’t for me. I don’t think I can do it.”
“Kristin, please—“
“No, Andrew,” I said softly. “I’m too afraid of getting hurt.” I bit my lip. “I can’t let you break my heart.”
Not knowing what else to do, I threw myself down on the bed and sobbed.
Andrew drove me to the train station. We didn’t talk in the car – I felt awkward and uncomfortable around him, ever since I’d made the announcement that I was planning to leave.
“Kristin, are you sure this is what you want?”
I stared at him, my gorgeous stepbrother. What I want is you, I thought, afraid to say it out loud. Instead, I nodded my head slowly.
“I think this was moving too fast for me,” I said quietly. “I’m not really the fast kind of girl, you know?”
Andrew sighed. He reached for my hand, twining his thick fingers with mine and squeezing gently. The comfort was reassuring, but I knew that I couldn’t back down. Unless Andrew was willing to be with me and me alone, I couldn’t keep playing these dangerous games. I knew that somehow I’d wind up getting hurt.
“It’s your decision,” Andrew said stiffly. “I respect that.”
We pulled into the train station and I shifted awkwardly in my seat. Part of me wanted to throw myself across the seat and kiss him, but I knew I couldn’t do that – it would be betraying Victor.
“Well, thanks,” I said softly. “I’m really sorry, Andrew. I didn’t know this would happen.” I sighed. “I just…I don’t want to get hurt. You can respect that, right?”
Andrew nodded slowly. “You know you don’t have to leave, right? You can stay, Kristin. You don’t have to go back there – back to that den of wolves.”
I wrinkled my nose, nodding. “I know.”
“And when you’re really ready to leave again, you can come and stay with me,” Andrew added. “I don’t want you to feel like I’m upset with you for leaving.”
I blushed. “I know,” I said softly.
A train whistle blew loudly from the station, making me jump and squeak with surprise. Andrew laughed.
“You’re so cute,” he said. He leaned forward and my heart skipped a beat. He’s going to kiss me, I thought in excitement. He’s gong to kiss me goodbye – he really does like me! But instead of a passionate kiss on the lips, Andrew’s mouth gently pressed against my forehead.
“Bye,” I whispered. Tears filled my eyes as I grabbed my bags from the backseat and slammed the door. I kept wanting Andrew to follow me, to chase after me.
But he never died. The train ride home was enough to fill me apprehension. I didn’t want to go back with my parents, but I knew that I really didn’t have another choice. After all, this was my fault. I was the one who had lied to my mom, regardless of how ridiculous the circumstances had been, and I was the one who was going to have to face the consequences of my actions.
Hell, to be honest, I was surprised that she was letting me come home at all.
Mom picked me up at the local station, an hour later. The air in the car was icy, and her lips were set in a tight line.
“Mom, I’m really sorry I lied,” I said softly. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
Mom heaved a huge sigh. “I know, honey,” she said. “But what you did was wrong. It’s a sin to lie to your parents.”
For a brief second, I had the strangest urge to laugh. I knew that it was wrong – I knew, deep down, that Mom was right. But it was almost like my few days with Andrew had taught me something…that my mom was actually ridiculous.
“Kristin?” Mom asked sharply. “Are you listening to me?”
I blushed and sank lower in the seat. “Yes, ma’am,” I said quietly. “I’m listening.”
The odd urge to laugh didn’t fade for the rest of the day. When Mom and I got home, I carried my stuff upstairs and without thinking, shut the door behind me. An hour later, Mom was beating on my door and screaming angrily.
“Kristin, if you don’t open this door right now, I’ll break it down! You won’t be allowed to have a bedroom door, do you hear me, young lady?”
I got to my feet and yanked the door open just as Mom started beating both of her fists against the white-painted wood. She came stumbling into my room, gasping for air, her face bright red with anger.
I couldn’t explain why, but suddenly, I had to bite at the inside of my cheeks to keep from bursting out into laughter. It was ridiculous!
“You treat me like I’m a little kid,” I said pointedly, staring at my mom. “Weren’t you ever allowed to close your bedroom door when you were a kid?”
My mom’s eyes flashed angrily at me. “Kristin,” she spat through clenched teeth. “You need to learn how to act like a proper young lady if you’re going to stay in this house,” she said angrily. “And respecting your parents is the best and first way to do that.”
I frowned, narrowing my eyes. “It’s just a door,” I said blankly. “What the hell do you think I’m going to do in here by myself? Listen to music with curses?”
The sting of my mom’s hand across my cheek was enough to make me cry out in pain.
“Kristin, I don’t know what you learned out there on your own, but you’re in my home now,” Mom breathed angrily. “And you’re going to play by my rules.”
Suddenly, Andrew’s face popped into my mind. It was the strangest thing – he’d used almost the exact same phrase shortly before I decided to come home. But he’d been telling me that I didn’t have to do anything I didn’t want to.
Now, my mom was telling me the opposite.
Dinner that night was even worse. Dean and Mom treated me like a kid – I wasn’t even allowed to serve myself, for fear that I’d drop the dish on the floor. It was fucking ridiculous. I didn’t know if they’d actually gotten worse, or if it was just in my mind. After all, I’d had a couple of days away from my parents. And I’d gotten quite the “education” about how different things could be in a house with no rules.
“Kristin,” Mom said. “You’re coming to Bible study with me tonight. The theme is learning how to obey what God wants for us.”
I rolled my eyes. “I have to study,” I lied. “I should be on track when I start the next semester.”
“Then maybe you should have thought the better of lying to me,” Mom snapped. “You’re coming and that’s final.”
I looked up at Dean, hoping to plead my case. “Dean, I really need to finish this paper,” I said. “Please?”
Dean sighed. “Kristin, you lied about doing that before,” he said slowly. “Listen to your mother. She knows what’s best for you.”
&nbs
p; “But I’ll be right here,” I exclaimed loudly.
Dean and Mom looked at each other.
“I don’t know,” Dean said slowly. “Your mom rules the roost around here. You know that, kiddo.”
Defeated, I slunk back down in my chair.
Bible study was even worse than I thought it would be. The rest of the people there were young – like teenagers – and I was obviously the oldest one. Even worse, some girl asked me which high school I went to because she’d “never seen me around.”
It was like my hot night in bed with Andrew and Victor was the most distant of distant memories.
At home, I crawled into bed and turned out the lights, with my door wide open (of course.) Mom and Dean stayed up watching old reruns of Family Matters and then around eleven, they finally went to bed. As quietly as I could, I pulled my laptop out of my bag and booted it up.
Without thinking too much, I wrote:
“Dear Andrew,
You were right. This is completely miserable, and it’s gotten even worse. I can’t stay here anymore. Were you serious about me being able to live with you?
I miss you.
Kristin.”
I almost wrote “love” before my name, but decided that was too mushy and stupid. Besides, I was sure that Andrew didn’t feel the same way about me. He was a cool, older guy. He’d taken my virginity, and I was sure that was the extent of his affection towards me. It wasn’t like he was the kind of guy who fell in love, at least, that’s what I had to think. Andrew was too cool for things like love. Besides, I imagined if he loved anyone, it was probably Victor.
I debated hitting ‘send’ for a solid ten minutes. Then I heard a cough from my mom’s bedroom, and the yellow glare of light appeared in the hallway. It’s now or never, I realized. I have to do this or else I won’t get the chance again. Nervously, I pushed ‘send’ and watched the email fade away, out of my inbox, towards Boston.
“Kristin?” Mom was standing in the doorway, wearing a hairnet and glasses. “Why aren’t you asleep?”
“Your cough woke me up,” I mumbled, turning on my side and facing away from the door.
Mom sighed angrily, but she didn’t say anything.
