Nathaniel is not, is what she thought, but did not say knowing that might have been a step too far. She looked up to find Philip’s eyes upon her. Their eyes met and it was clear he had understood without her having to speak the words.
Chapter Ten
“Mr Notley, how lovely to see you.”
Caroline set down her needlework as the tall man crossed the room. She had only picked up the fabric to busy herself while the physician was in with Lord Holgrave.
“Good morning, Lady Caroline. I have just been in to look at your charge.” He smiled as he spoke.
“How is he?” Caroline asked as calmly as possible. “He seems to have improved much over the last week.”
Mr Notley nodded. “Yes, he has. Thanks in no small part to you. Your constant attention and care have surely resulted in his recovery.”
“Then you feel he is recovered?” Caroline had told herself not to ask but she was so hopeful for him that she could not stop herself.
“Yes, Lord Holgrave has recovered from the fever, he will only improve,” Mr Notley explained. “However, he is still very weak. It may take him some time to regain his strength.”
“I understand.” Caroline was so relieved that tears sprang to her eyes.
“Perhaps we should take him to London or to Castborough to recover,” her mother suggested.
Caroline's stomach dropped. The thought of Philip leaving made her feel empty and bereft. She had known that her attachment to Philip had grown but she had not realized the extent of it until that moment.
The physician shook his head. “I would not recommend that. A trip like that would be too taxing. No, he needs to rest. Unless, of course, his staying here has become a burden on you. I could look into other arrangements for Lord Holgrave.”
Caroline’s mother spoke up quickly. “No, no. He is welcome to stay as long as is necessary. I only thought he would be more comfortable in his own home or with family.”
“Yes, of course, Mother,” Caroline reassured her. “It would be difficult for you if one of us was ill and you could not tend to us.”
“Lord Holgrave will regain his strength slowly but you should encourage him to leave his bed to sit in a chair and to walk a little each day.” The physician smiled again. “I have spoken to him about this already.”
From Mr Notley’s expression, Caroline could imagine how Philip had responded. She laughed and said, “I will see that he follows your instructions.”
“Send for me if he proves to be difficult,” Mr Notley nodded at her moved to leave the room.
“Thank you, Mr Notley. I will.”
A few hours later she had convinced Philip to join her in the drawing room for their midday meal. Rosemary and one of the grooms had moved a table near the open doors to the garden.
“It is a beautiful day,” Caroline said trying to breach the silence that had fallen since they sat down.
Philip did not say anything for a moment. “Quite. It reminds me of the summer that I visited with Robbie.”
Caroline nodded hoping her cheeks had not reddened at the memory. She had been rather taken with Philip when he had come home from school with her Uncle Robbie. He was several years older than her but had been very kind to her, not treating her like a child.
Her infatuation was only reinforced when he included her in some jokes he had played on Robbie. It had been so nice to be included and when Philip had turned to her with a smile at their shared joke her heart nearly burst.
“That was one of my favorite summers,” he said his voice wistful.
“It was?” Caroline was surprised she had assumed he only remembered because he was back at Stratford. When Philip nodded, she admitted, “It was one of mine as well.”
He turned and smiled at her and just like that she felt like the young girl from that summer. Caroline wondered if Philip had known how she had felt and then cringed inwardly hoping he did not.
When he spoke next, she was surprised. “I remember Robbie had been worried about your parents. Particularly your mother that summer.”
Caroline had not thought about that in a long time. “My mother had fallen ill the winter before, Simon had just been born. She was quite ill. Scarlet Fever.”
“Oh Lord,” Philip breathed.
“We were all very worried about Miles and Simon but neither of them ever got sick.” Caroline stared down at her hands. “No, it was Catherine and Oliver that came down with it.”
“Your sister and brother?”
“Yes, Oliver was nine and Catherine six. Mother was heartbroken, we all were of course, but Mother took at the hardest. She was so worried about Simon and Miles that she slept in the nursery for months.”
Philip looked quite distressed. “My apologies for bringing such dreadful memories to your attention.”
He looked so overwrought the Caroline felt bad.
“It is not your fault, you had no way to know. I am sure that Robbie did not share that with you. It was a sad time but it was a reminder that we must be thankful for what God has given us. Mother is alive and well, as are my two brothers. I feel blessed that they were spared.”
Chapter Eleven
Philip stared out into the garden unable to speak. He was full of awe at Caroline's grace and fortitude in the face of such obstacles. She had endured pain and sorrow in the loss of not only a brother and sister but the man she was betrothed to. And yet she continued to display an amazing depth of happiness and patience.
He turned back to look at her. “Scarlet Fever is a horrible illness. Although I have never had to suffer its effects, I have seen the damage it has wreaked on other families. Your mother’s sorrow must have been great, as well as the blame that she surely laid upon her own shoulders.”
Philip could not even begin to understand the abject misery a parent must endure after the death of a child. Surely that of a mother must be that much greater. He thought about James and Henrietta, and his other siblings and how much his life would be altered if one of them had died.
“I cannot imagine losing any of my siblings.”
Caroline surprised them with a smile. “I remember when James and... Charlie, was it?”
Philip smirked thinking of what his rather serious brother would say. “Err, yes. Although I believe he prefers Charles these days.”
“I suppose you are correct,” Caroline said with a knowing grin. “I do remember them visiting that summer and how much fun you all had. You are still quite close then?”
Philip was too embarrassed to say that before the house party it had been months since he had seen his siblings. At the request of his mother, he had left London to spend several weeks at Castborough in the weeks around Christmas. They had not been good weeks, although he would have to admit that he was mostly to blame.
The tension between him, James, and their father had caused him to be defensive and almost immediately he had begun to grow restless. He was so impatient to return to London that he had spent much of his days complaining and planning what he would do when he was able to leave.
“We were very close when we were young,” Philip told her. “In recent years, though that has not been so, I am afraid.”
Just remembering how he acted back at the house party appalled him. He had barely spoken to Hugh or Henrietta. His argument with James had actually been the longest conversation he had had with anyone in his family in a very long while.
There was a moment that Philip began to get angry. If he had not felt the need to prove himself to his father, prove that he was better than James then he would still be close to his family. Just as quickly though Philip remembered Caroline’s words. It was difficult to tamp down his anger but he knew that she had spoken the truth finding someone to blame was a waste of time and it would bring him no closer to his siblings.
It had done him no good to be angry with James or their father. It only made it easier to run away to London. The more he stayed away the more he resented James for driving him away. He was still ang
ry but at least now he understood how it would not help him.
Even more upsetting was the look of sadness on Caroline's face. It was like a physical blow to think she was somehow disappointed in him. More than anything, he wanted her to understand but it was difficult for him to explain. “Please understand that I am not happy about it and I do not want that to continue.”
He hoped that she believed that he was being sincere. Since his return from Paris, Philip had been thinking about his family. He did not know how but he would make it right. It was very important to him that she understood that.
“I am glad that you want to be close to your family.” Caroline was facing the garden but he could see that her eyes were shining with unshed tears.
His first reaction was to go on as though he had not noticed but he looked over at her again. It was beyond his capability to leave her upset. He knew not what to say. Naturally, he thought she was upset about the loss of her siblings so long ago and Nathaniel more recently. As well as being rather disappointed with him for rejecting his own family.
She must give thanks every day that her mischievous brothers were so healthy. And that is when he realized Caroline's depth of character.
“Caroline,” his voice quiet so much so that he swallowed before going on. “I cannot thank you enough for caring for me while I was ill. It was an enormous sacrifice that you undertook. I can only imagine the concern you must have felt regarding Miles and Simon. I will be forever grateful.”
Caroline only nodded seeming to understand that Philip had taken a rather big step.
He wondered if he should say something more when she pointed at his plate.
“You better finish eating before it gets cold. I will have to call the footman if you do not.” She tried to be serious but could not hide her smile.
“We cannot have that.” Philip picked up a fork thinking he would eat all his food ice cold if it would make her smile.
Chapter Twelve
Philip groaned as he pushed himself out of the chair. He had improved much over the last few weeks but he still encountered weakness and he tired easily. It was a matter of time, Philip knew but patience had never been a virtue that he had held dear. He despised having to rely on other people.
Bored and frustrated Philip tossed the book he had been reading into a chair only to have the book bounce off and land on the floor near the desk. Philip closed his eyes to calm himself before stretching to retrieve the book.
“Blasted book,” Philip muttered and then stood up. The room seemed to tip and he staggered sideways as he fought to stay on his feet. He clutched at the desk and only barely saved himself from falling to the floor.
There, his arms braced on the desk Philip suddenly remembered that last night with Fallbrooke. It had not occurred to him until that moment that he had not been in the library since he had fallen ill. The word fallen seemed far more than appropriate as he remembered the events that had occurred.
He remembered arguing with Fallbrooke and the piercing pain in his head that had been bothering him for weeks. Another thought struck him and he worried that this dizzy spell would mean that the headaches were returning. He took several deep breaths before lowering himself into the chair behind the desk.
During his illness, Philip had been lying to himself thinking that Fallbrooke would not have left him incapacitated in the library. Surely, Philip had thought, he had collapsed after Fallbrook had left the room.
The truth of it though was quite the opposite. It was a fact that Philip had not wanted to believe but if he were being honest it was not that surprising, Fallbrooke had long been known for being a selfish cad. Philip, himself, had seen it a hundred times over. Fallbrooke’s selfishness had always been harmless. Until now. Or if Caroline was indeed correct, until Nathaniel Lymington.
Anger seem to give him strength and he pushed himself from the chair. He walked around to the front of the desk thinking about confronting Fallbrooke. It was only a matter time before he would regain his strength. It gave him pause, though, as once he was fully recovered he would be leaving Stratford to return to London.
The thought did not elicit the feelings of joy that he had anticipated. He had rather enjoyed being at Stratford. It had been a welcome distraction upon his return from Paris and he had been well cared for during his illness. He was not sure that he was ready to leave the relative comfort and safety of Stratford.
And what of Caroline? A voice in his head asked. He could no longer lie to himself. He did not want to leave Caroline. As true as the sentiments were, it was not something he was ready to think about.
“What are you doing in here?” Caroline asked standing at the door.
“I was reading.” Philip picked up the book from where he had left it on the desk.
“It is much too beautiful a day for you to be sitting in this dark stuffy library.”
“Is it?” Philip looked out the window. He had been so preoccupied with his own frustrations and concerns that he had not even looked to the windows.
“Is it?” She repeated shaking her head in mock disgust. “Yes, it is. Now enough of this.”
Caroline pulled back one of the curtains revealing a door. “It is past time for some fresh air. Come, Lord Holgrave let us take a stroll in the garden.”
Before he knew it, Caroline had linked her arm through his and began to lead him to the door.
The door opened out to the garden but a secluded corner that Philip had not seen during the house party. It was separated from the main garden by the usual hedges seen in most of the more fashionable gardens. Philip stopped next to one of the ornate urns that held greenery. It seemed to be made of stone or possibly marble with intricate carvings around the top and the pedestal.
Caroline noticed his interest. “My mother's father brought them over from France. According to the story, my grandfather saw similar ones at Versailles and had to have one.”
“These are from Versailles?” Given the ongoing hostilities between Britain and France, he could see why the impressive urns were hidden away.
“My grandfather would never say for sure. They were often admired by my mother and my grandfather gave them to her after my parents were married.”
“They are magnificent. I can only imagine how pleased your father must have been.”
Caroline chuckled. “Yes, well, he was not actually pleased at all. He did not want to upset my mother so he placed the urns here so that she could enjoy them and he would not incur the wrath of owning French artifacts.”
“Your father is a smart man, indeed,” Philip replied.
They continued down the path that led to a carved wooden gate. Caroline opened the gate and they entered the main part of the garden. He spotted a bench and proceeded to sit down while Caroline kept walking.
“Caroline come sit,” Philip called out to her.
“No, we should walk some more.”
“But I am tired.” Philip sat down on the bench and smiled up at her, confident that she would join him.
Caroline stood fast on the path. “The physician said you needed to walk to build up your strength.”
“But I...”
“We need to walk and that is what you are going to do. Now come along.”
To his complete surprise, she turned away and continued down the path.
It was astonishing to him that Caroline continued to quarrel with him. It all came down to caring for him, he reminded himself. What was even more astonishing was the fact that while it was clear that she cared for him she would not coddle him. It was undoubtedly something he was not accustomed to at all.
He stood up staring at her figure as she continued down the path, her red hair shining in the summer sun. No one had ever cared enough to tell him no when he needed to hear it, at least not since his childhood.
It was a revelation that seemed to change everything for him.
“Caroline! Wait, I want to walk with you.”
Chapter Thirteen
Carol
ine had not gone far when Philip had called out to her. Truth be told she had been about to turn back. She knew that she was being tough on Philip, but Mr Notley had said that Philip needed to build up his strength.
She felt even worse knowing that Philip was not accustomed to being challenged. He was the heir to Castborough, after all. People did what he asked without a second glance, not the other way around.
“Are you sure you are well enough?” Caroline asked him as he joined her on the path.
“Yes.” He smiled down at her his blue eyes looking as bright and clear as they had that summer so many years before.
Her breath caught and she fought to hide her reaction as she spoke again. “You said before that you were tired. I do not want you to grow too weary.”
“I will be fine,” he said turning down the path. “You are quite right. A nice walk on a beautiful day is precisely what I need.”
Caroline wondered if he was merely humouring her but she quickly decided the reason did not matter. She only cared that Philip was following the advice of the physician.
“It is a beautiful day. I am quite sure that you will enjoy it and the fresh air and sun could only be a benefit. It is important that you tell me immediately though if you grow tired and need a rest.”
“I will be happy to do so,” Philip dissented. “I had not fully grasped how much I have improved.”
“It has been truly wonderful to see.” Caroline did not think she would ever forget how frail he had looked those first few days. She had prayed for him every day and every night since finding him motionless in the library. “It will not be long before Mr Notley declares that you are fully recovered.”
Philip nodded. “It is just a matter of time.”
Caroline could not see his face but he sounded somewhat sad. She had barely finished that thought before admonishing herself. It was merely her own feelings on the matter crowding her perception of Philip’s response.
The Wayward Heir Page 5
