by Nana Malone
They both glanced at each other and laughed as they said in unison, "Sydney."
"All right. Bullshit situation aside, how are you feeling? Are you okay? You know, you and your dad?"
She shrugged. "Yeah. I mean, I'm fine. I can't believe he actually let me get away with no security. I don't want it, but I never actually thought he'd give it to me. But even if I do have security, I've never seen them. It sort of feels like freedom."
"Awesome, then you need to take better advantage of it. There's a party tonight at the Kappa Theta house, you interested?"
It was on the tip of her tongue to say no, but then she remembered her promise to Ricca. "Sure. And maybe I'll even wear my shoes, though I really don’t want to get them all dirty in the basement of some fraternity house."
"Honey, you haven't seen this house. All the alumni brothers are investment banker types. They have this great rooftop, where they have their parties. Think frat party 2.0. And since Shane is awakening a part of you again, you can see if the warm and tinglies happen with anyone else."
Someone else? She doubted it. But he was off limits, so maybe it was time to try out her newly awakened libido.
Chapter 3
Xia hadn't been kidding about the party. Tris glanced around, feeling a bit intimidated. What ever happened to a good, old-fashioned kegger? Judging by the Mont Blanc pen she and her friends had used to sign in, she had a feeling these guys didn't know what a keg was.
Syd whistled low. "This ain't your mama's frat party."
Xia grinned. "I told you those shoes were perfect for the night."
And they were. Tris grinned as she blinked down at them. Paired with rolled-up boyfriend jeans and a one-shoulder top, she felt fashionable and fun. "You know what? I could get used to wearing these."
Syd raised her hand. "Please don't forget we're the same size, and I'm going to need to wear them at least once."
She shifted on her feet. "Done deal." Fun. She was here for fun. She could do fun. "Who wants a drink?"
The DJ spun mashups of popular pop songs, mixing Eminem and Rihanna with John Legend and Iggy Azalea. So they danced and drank the fruity concoctions the bartenders handed out. Though, after two of them, Tris immediately recognized she needed to slow down. She stared at the bottom of her empty glass. What the hell was in that thing? It tasted too smooth going down but also made her tongue feel fuzzy.
One of the brothers with strawberry blond hair and sparkling blue eyes came over and took her hand. "Come on, girl, I get the feeling you can dance."
Under normal circumstances, she would have retorted with some snide comment about why he assumed she could dance. But she swallowed the irritation. And ignored the chill that chased over her skin as he took her hand. It was just dancing. She could handle it. Besides, she did like to dance, and he probably didn't mean anything by it. Though she noted she and her friends were the only specks of brown at the lily-white party. Oh wait, there was one more.
Her partner might not have been able to find the beat, but he sure was...enthusiastic. At some point, she even started to have a little fun as she fell into some tried and true goofy moves. Who didn’t love a little cabbage patch. She felt loose and open, like anything could happen.
At some point, he told her his name was Kasey, and he was from San Francisco. It was surprisingly easy to engage in small talk and move. She just forced her mind to go blank.
The music changed to something slower, and Kasey pulled her against his body. He might have looked thin and scrawny, but he was all wiry muscle and surprisingly solid. She stiffened automatically but forced herself to take a deep breath. It was just dancing. And surprisingly, Kasey could dance better like this.
That chill seeped in a level deeper, and she forced her mind to focus on something else. If she didn't pay attention, it would go away. This guy wasn’t going to hurt her. She could handle it. But it didn't matter what she told herself, she couldn't fend off the chill.
Kasey leaned in. "You want another drink?"
"Uh, yeah sure." Why not, right? This was part of the whole college experience. Maybe drink too much. Maybe party too much. Not be so self-contained. It was like Shane had said in section. Enjoy it. Don't take it too seriously.
Kasey was back in no time with a drink for them both. She drank hers quickly, and he blinked at her, a little alarmed.
"You might want to take it easy on those. They have 151 in them."
She did feel a fuzzy. But whatever. "You want to dance with me, or what?"
He shrugged and pulled her close. "You won't catch me arguing. You feel so fucking good. The second you walked in, I couldn't take my eyes off you."
That was sweet, but the way he said it didn't feel sincere. And she tried hard to muster any feelings about the sentiment. But she couldn't.
She could try to pretend all she wanted, but this guy wasn't Shane.
Mind spinning, she swayed into him, and he secured her with his hand on her lower back. He slid his thigh between her legs and turned her around on the crowded floor.
But still nothing. No butterflies, no pooling heat in her core, no wanting.
Over Kasey's shoulder, she watched as Syd showed up some guy dance-battle style. Her friend was laughing and teasing and clearly having a good time. But every once in a while, she'd search the crowd until her gaze met Tris's. Then she'd mouth, "Are you okay?"
Tris nodded, and Syd went back to it. But Tris understood. She was the girl they all worried about. Poor Tris, who that awful thing happened to that one time. She didn't want to be that any more. She didn't want the kidnapping and stalking to define her. She wanted a boyfriend. Wanted to go to parties. Wanted to kiss boys.
She could feel Kasey's hand dipping lower and lower until he cupped her ass and tucked her against his erection. A pinpoint of ice pierced her chest, and she tried to shake off the rising panic. It was only a hand on her ass. She knew how to deal with that. Her friends were here. Nothing bad would happen to her.
But when Kasey squeezed gently, another spear of ice hit her chest, and she froze. This time it felt like it was spreading from her center. No. Not again. She lifted her head to foggily peer at him. "What are you doing?"
He flashed a grin that was all teeth. "Just showing you how much I want you." He nuzzled her neck. "Do you want to get out of here, go back to my room?"
Tris kept trying to blink him into focus to process the question properly. But no matter what she tried, it was like her tongue was covered in peanut butter, then sawdust, and like someone had given her a kettle bell hat. Her head was so heavy. Made lifting it a herculean effort. "What?"
He smiled at her indulgently. "My room. You know for a little privacy."
Piracy? She tried to shake her head, but the room spun. Why was he talking about pirates? "I don’t understand."
He nuzzled her neck and planted a kiss in the hollow just beneath her ear. The ice spread fast now, and she dragged in several shallow breaths. The good news about the ice was it helped clear the fog from the alcohol, and his words finally filtered through. His room...and privacy. He wanted to be alone with her. Presumably, so he could keep fondling her ass and...other things.
Except, she didn't want him. She wanted Shane. You can't have Shane. The ice spread faster now, to her belly, and panic rose. Oh, God. "No, I need to—"
Kasey frowned, but he said, "Okay, we don’t have to go upstairs, we can just keep—"
There was a voice behind her, mellow, and gravelly with a hint of flint. "That's enough. Time to let her go, man."
Tris tried to turn, but Kasey still held her tight with a hand on her ass. His affable smile morphed into a belligerent smirk. "Who the fuck are you, her father?"
"Hardly. Now, you have a couple of choices: you can let her go so I can take her home, or I can make you let her go."
The voice was familiar. She'd been replaying it in her head for days. Shane.
"You snooze, you lose. She might have come here with you, but we're having a goo
d time. She likes me, and we're dancing."
Shane's voice was low, and there was a hint of menace in it. "Listen up, pretty boy. If you know what's good for you, you'll let her go. I don't have time to school you on how to treat a lady with respect, but for starters, you don't manhandle a girl who's clearly wasted."
"Hey, she asked for the drink."
Tris's stomach roiled, and she tried to push Kasey away from her. But he didn't let her go. She tried again, and her stomach clenched. His cologne suddenly smelled too sweet. "I don’t feel good."
Apparently, that did the trick. Kasey hopped away in haste. "Shit, are you going to be sick?"
"Real gentleman, aren't you?" Shane wrapped his arm around Tris, and his body heat chased the chill away.
She listed to the side a bit, and he caught her. Syd reached them quickly, Xia on her heels.
"How much has she had to drink?" he asked them.
Loyal to the end, they glanced at each other. "She had one, as far as I saw," Xia said anxiously. "She's not really a drinker, so we told her to take it easy."
Her friend looked worried, and Tris wanted to comfort her, but she couldn't form the words to tell her it was going to be okay. At least she hoped it would be and one day her tongue would stop feeling like an elephant foot in her mouth.
Syd moved closer. "I saw that guy leave her alone for a minute. He might have given her a second drink."
Shane's voice was tight, and Tris wished she could lift her head to see his beautiful face. If she could move her arms, she could touch him and tell him she was okay. She'd work on that—just as soon as she threw up and slept for about a month.
"Have either of you had the punch?" His voice was flat with little affect.
"Yeah," said Xia. "But we're okay. We'll grab the coats and take her home."
"No." Shane's voice was firm, but gentle. "You guys stay. I'll take her home. I haven't been drinking, and I have my car."
"Shit. I feel like we let her down. She said she wanted to have some fun. I thought it was good for her to let loose." Syd sounded concerned.
Tris didn't want them worried about her. She forced her head up and rolled it onto Shane's shoulder. "You guys. I'm fine. Not your fault. I don’t think I supposed to drink." Her words were slurred, and only every third one made sense to her ears, but that seemed enough to make them smile.
However, there was no humor in Shane's voice when he said, "Come on, Betty Ford. Let's get you home."
He helped her outside where the cool air of the night chilled her skin. It felt good and helped clear the dizzy feeling. He assisted her to the car then tucked her in the passenger side. When he fastened her seatbelt for her, she took the opportunity to drink in his scent. He was so close she could feel the heat radiating off him. He still smelled of ocean, and she thought it was heaven. "If I could smell you every day, I'll be happy." Oh no. Why the hell couldn't she control her damn mouth?
He stilled just before he secured her buckle. Heat singed her body as sparks crackled and popped around them. They stayed like that for several long beats, and she thought he might kiss her again. She wanted him to kiss her. Wanted to feel his hands on her again. Wanted to give in to the wild abandon.
He cleared his throat. "You smell pretty good yourself." But he didn't kiss her. Instead, he backed away slowly and closed her into the car.
She watched as he dragged in several deep breaths before sliding into the driver's seat. The car ride to the dorm was blissfully short. But he didn't take her out right away.
"Are you feeling okay? You're not nauseous, are you?"
She shook her head. "I think the fresh air helps."
"How much did you have to drink tonight?"
"Just three."
"Jesus, Tris. It's a wonder you're standing."
"Well, I was supposed to be having fun. Enjoying my freedom."
"You call that fun? I can pretty much guess what he was talking to you about with his hands all over your ass. You have to be careful. You don’t know him."
It became more and more difficult to blink. "I don't know you very well either."
"Well, I'm looking out for you. It's my job."
Tris was in no mood to listen to what his job was. It wasn’t fair. "What's the matter, you jealous?"
He scrubbed a hand over his face. "Maybe a little."
She tipped her head back to peer at him. "You're not supposed to say that."
"Yeah, well, it's the truth." He unbuckled his seatbelt and hers before opening the driver's side door.
"Wait," she whispered. The barely functioning part of her brain tried to warn her of her folly. But she couldn't hear it over the loud roaring of the blood in her head. "You're the only guy that it seems to work with. Why is that? It's not even fair."
He cleared his throat. "That what seems to work with?"
"Me. That I seem to work with. With everyone else, I'm dead inside, but with you, I just want to crawl onto your lap naked and rub myself all over you."
His brows spiked as his nostrils flared. Shit, what did she say? Another alarm sounded. Stop talking. Now. Right the fuck now. Stop talking. But it was too late. The words were flowing. "I was pretending it was you holding me and kissing my neck...your hand on my ass. Like you did in your room that night."
"Fuck, Tris, stop."
"I'm tired of keeping things to myself. I'm always doing that. Not saying what I really feel or think. I hold back because I'm afraid of what people will say, how they'll judge me. But with you, I can say these things. At least it feels that way."
He swallowed hard, and his gaze dipped to her mouth again. "Tristia, I'm going to get you upstairs, then I'm going to put you in bed, okay?"
She frowned. This was not going the way it did in her head. In her head, she was seductive, commanding, more like Syd. She knew what she wanted and was going after it, like Xia. "And what if I said I wanted you to hold me, instead? To touch me. Would you?" Xia had told her to see how it worked with other guys. Kasey she'd gotten some warmth from, but mostly ice in her chest. She turned in her seat and leaned into Shane. "I want to remember what it feels like when you kiss me."
"Tris." His voice was pained as he shook his head. “I want to. You have no idea how much I want to. But I can't. I'm sorry. Stay there, I'll come get you out."
She was losing him. She could tell. She needed to put it all out there if she was going to get what she wanted. "I want you to make love to me."
With a curse, Shane dropped his head onto the steering wheel. "Tristia, I need you to stop talking."
Her damn tongue still felt too thick, too slow. "No, hear me out. I'm pretty sure it's apparent I don’t have much experience. And since you seem to be able to make me feel like this, you could be the one to teach me. No strings. I just like how you make me feel, and I want to feel it again. I want to know about all the stuff I've missed out on. Shane—"
But he didn't let her finish. Instead, he scrambled from the car like the damn thing was on fire. It took a little while for him to come to her side and open it to let her out. When she was out, he wrapped an arm around her waist and led her to the elevators. Once they were inside, she braced herself against him to steady herself, and he groaned.
"Tristia." His voice was low. "Let's get you inside. Keys?"
She shrugged. "I think Xia has them. She's designated key-bitch today. So the rest of us don't have to carry everything around."
Shane tossed his head back and stared up at the ceiling for several moments. "I am going to regret this." He sighed heavily before adding, "Come lie down in my room until your roommates come home."
Teach me things. Shane's hands shook as he set Tris on his bed. God, this girl was twisting him up. She wanted experience. With him. A simple babysitting job. Caleb had said. Not too taxing. Yeah, right.
Had she really just said those things to him in the car? Shit, as much as he wanted her, it could all have very well been his imagination. Maybe he'd heard what he wanted to hear. He sat her on hi
s bed, and she immediately flopped backward. Jesus, she was so out of it. First things first, he needed to get her into something she could sleep in.
Tonight, at the party, he'd almost lost his mind. He'd seen her enter with her friends, and she'd looked happy so he'd mostly kept out of sight. But then he'd seen that moron, Kasey, moving in for the kill. Seeing that guy with his hands all over her ass did nothing for his mood.
Over in his fake dresser, he pulled out a pair of boxers and a running T-shirt from years ago. He turned back toward her prone form and frowned. There was no way she was going to be able to dress herself, not in her current state. Sighing, he glance up at his ceiling. Someone upstairs really hated him. This was what he got for trying to be the good guy.
Gently, he shook her shoulder. "Tris, can you sit up? I have some clothes for you to change into so you'll be comfortable."
She rolled over and picked her head up just off the bed, before collapsing back in a fit of giggles. "Trying to get me naked? Didn't I already suggest this and you turned me down?"
Shane ground his teeth together. If he wasn’t so keyed up, he'd probably find drunken Tris kind of cute. But right now his nerves were rubbed raw. Okay, fine, let's get this over with. He gave his dick a stern warning. No funny business.
He squatted in front of her and pulled her into a sitting position. She smiled at him drunkenly, just before he dragged her upper body to him and held her in a semi hug.
Starting from the bottom, he made quick work of the tiny buttons on the back of her shirt before tugging the silky fabric off her shoulders. He tried to keep his eyes averted. He really did. His brain gave the command several times, but his damn eyes kept straying, taking in the curve of her smooth back, the top rise of her breasts as they swelled over her bra.
