by B. J. Scott
“Stop making excuses. My guess is he just wants to wish you a happy birthday.” Beth handed Gwen a small gift bag.
“What’s this?” Gwen studied the parcel.
“Kyle gave me this before we left,” Beth said. “My gift you’ll get tonight when we go out to dinner to celebrate. Another reason why I was hoping you might dress in a little fancier outfit. We might have to go straight to the restaurant after the tours.”
“I hope this isn’t a ring.” Gwen fisted the small velvet box that she plucked from the sack.
“Kyle MacKay is a smart man,” Beth replied. “He wouldn’t be foolish enough to send an engagement ring with me and expect you to be impressed. However, he has already asked you twice to marry him and you’ve turned him down both times. Most women would jump at the chance to marry a successful, drop-dead gorgeous pediatrician. He’s not going to wait forever, you know?”
“I know that. But getting married is a huge decision.” Gwen lowered her gaze. “Kyle is a fantastic man, but if he can’t give me the time and space I need to be sure we are right for each other, then maybe he really doesn’t love me the way he claims.”
Beth frowned. “I have no doubt he adores you and this gift is just his way of showing you how much. At the clinic, you’re all he talks about.”
Her heart hammering, Gwen opened the box, then released the breath she was holding. “Earrings.” After reading the note attached, she clutched it to her chest. “I must admit, Kyle can be very romantic.”
“It would have been even more romantic if you had invited him to join you on this trip instead of giving me the ticket,” Beth chided her friend. “Not that I’m sorry you did. We’ve had an amazing vacation so far, but you and Kyle have been dating for over a year and it would have made sense for you to bring him along. I know he’d have come in a heartbeat.”
Gwen shrugged, then peered up at Beth. “I needed time to think.”
“Think about what?” Beth frowned. “If you love him and he loves you, what more do you need?”
“I might be a fool, but I—” Gwen hurried into the hotel room from the balcony and plunked herself down on the foot of the bed. She and Beth had been friends since they were in grade school and they shared everything. Beth had introduced her to Kyle, but the reservations Gwen felt about her feelings for him, and whether or not she accepted his proposal, were things she had to deal with on her own. She couldn’t deny the connection she’d felt with him from the minute they met, and she had no doubt she loved him. Yet, there was something stopping her from accepting his proposals, and until she knew what it was, she couldn’t say yes.
“I didn’t know you were having doubts about your relationship, and I certainly didn’t mean to upset you.” Beth stroked Gwen’s shoulder. “You both seem so suited for one another.” Beth fanned herself, grinning. “Kyle is a fantastic guy, and all his patients adore him. He’s certainly not hard on the eyes, and I can only imagine what he’s like in bed.”
“There’s no denying he’s a handsome hunk and an awesome lover.” Gwen twisted her hands in her lap, her cheeks heating as she recalled the last time they’d made love until the wee hours of the morning. “I’ve never met a man so kind and giving. The romantic, tender, respectful way he treats me, and the caring compassionate way he is with the kids at the clinic is amazing. He genuinely cares about each and every one of his patients, and I’ve no doubt he’ll be a wonderful father and husband when the time comes.”
“Then I don’t understand the hold up.” Beth looked confused.
“I want . . . no, I need to be sure that we are right for each other in every way before I say yes. Not just on a physical level. There is more to a marriage than good looks and great sex.”
“Don’t knock it until you try it.” Beth wiggled a brow.
“Maybe I’m not ready to get married. We’re still young and we both have demanding careers we want to pursue. I’m not certain if I can do justice to both,” Gwen said. “Kyle has been at the pediatric clinic for seven years, but I just graduated and haven’t even started my new job at the law firm yet. What if we had a child and it all fell apart? What if—”
Beth shook her head. “You know as well as I do that there are no guarantees in life or relationships. If I didn’t think the two of you were an ideal match, I would never have introduced you in the first place.” Beth sat beside Gwen and clasped her hand. “Kyle is a dedicated doctor and you’re a lawyer, but you love each other and a child would be lucky to have you for parents. Your mom and dad are proof that a marriage can work between two professionals with demanding careers. You turned out great.”
“My parents are the exception to the rule. When I was working with legal aid and doing my placements for law school, I saw many so-called perfect marriages break up. People who were friends and lovers, couples who thought it was the right decision to get married, only to have everything change after they did.”
“Have you talked to Kyle about this? Perhaps he can address your fears and put your mind at ease.” Beth slid her arm around Gwen’s shoulder and gave her a hug. “I’m sure if you told him how you feel, he’d understand and be willing to give you all the time you need.”
“That’s just it. I don’t know how long it will take, or if I’ll ever figure out what I want.” Fighting back tears, Gwen cupped her face with her hands. “Why can’t we just continue to date? Why do things have to change?”
“Because he wants to take your relationship to the next level by making it legal before starting a family with you, and he assumes you do too,” Beth said. “You’ll have to decide soon. It’s not fair to lead him on if this isn’t what you want.”
Gwen squeezed her eyes shut, her mind wandering back to the night she told Kyle she was taking Beth and not him on her vacation to Scotland. He said he was okay with her decision and that he wanted her to have a fantastic time, but the hurt expression on his face and his tight-lipped grin told her otherwise.
Selfish, Kyle wasn’t—another of the many endearing qualities that made him perfect husband material. He told her that the timing was off and they could not spare him at the clinic, so taking Beth was a good idea, but she knew otherwise. Then when he swept her into his arms, carried her to their room, and made love to her like she was the most desirable woman in the world, her thoughts and concerns vanished in a moment of pure ecstasy.
Guilt tugged at her belly and the pangs of regret squeezed her chest. She should have told him she had reservations about their relationship, though she had no idea how to explain that her hesitation to accept his proposal was based on feelings of displacement she’d had since childhood and recurrent dreams of another place and time.
Gwen scrubbed her fist across damp cheeks, catching a stray tear. Regardless of her reasons, Beth was right. Kyle was wonderful and the last thing she wanted to do was lead him on. “Kyle is an amazing man, and I truly am grateful he let me come to Scotland and didn’t make a fuss about staying home. In addition to doing something I have always dreamed of, this trip has given me some breathing room and a chance to examine my feelings.”
Beth coughed to clear her throat, then stood and began to pace. “Um, there is something I should tell you. It was supposed to be a surprise, but—” She stopped midsentence and studied the floor.
“What?” Gwen rose, clasped Beth’s upper arm and gently turned her around. “Tell me.”
As Beth was about to answer Gwen’s question a knock on the door interrupted their discussion. She swiftly crossed the room and peered through the peephole and into the hallway before glancing over her shoulder at Gwen. “Don’t hate me,” she said, then yanked the door open.
“Happy Birthday, sweetheart,” the man standing on the threshold said.
Chapter Two
Speechless, Gwen’s let her mouth gape open as she stared at Kyle, his lips quirked in a mischievous grin.
“Are you going to invite me in?” he asked when Gwen remained silent. “You look like a deer caught in the hea
dlights.”
“I have a bit more to do before I am ready to leave, so I’ll give you two some privacy.” Beth touched Kyle’s forearm, then stood on tiptoes to kiss his cheek. “Good to see you. I know once she gets over the shock, Gwen will think so too.”
“Coward.” Gwen said, then gave her head a rough shake and motioned to Kyle with a wave of her hand. “Come in. I didn’t mean to be rude, but you took me by surprise. A good surprise,” she quickly added. “When we spoke on the phone two days ago, you never mentioned you were coming.”
“I didn’t want to ruin the surprise.” Kyle strode into the room, then immediately snaked his arm around her waist and drew Gwen against his chest.
Despite her effort to hold back, she giggled as he feathered kisses along her cheek before teasing the seam of her mouth with his tongue, willing her to open to his sweet invasion. She closed her eyes, a soft whimper of pleasure escaping her lips as they parted, granting him entry. Her head began to swim, her heart hammered, and moist heat pooled between her thighs—the way it always did whenever he touched or kissed her. Knees weak, she clung to his sweater and leaned closer, taking in his intoxicating male scent, savoring the feel of his loving embrace.
Finding herself lost in a euphoric fog and quickly losing the ability to think, she cursed beneath her breath at her weakness, placed her hands on his chest, and peered into eyes that were not only as blue as the sky, but brimming with passion. It was moments like this when she wondered how she could have any reservations about Kyle. Not only was he devastatingly handsome, but he was sweet, generous, and even when she was having a bad day, he could always make her smile with his quirky sense of humor and abundance of corny jokes.
It would be so easy to throw caution to the wind, accept his proposal, and jump into bed without giving it a second thought. Unfortunately, life and love weren’t that simple, and until she explored her feelings and the dreams from her childhood completely, she couldn’t give herself to him one hundred percent. She hoped that being in Scotland might shed some light on why she’d been so obsessed with the country and its past for as long as she could remember, and often felt like she belonged in another place and time. But so far she was as confused as ever.
“Did you like the earrings? I can’t wait to see you wearing them,” he growled seductively in her ear. “The earrings and nothing else.”
When he tried to tighten his embrace and kiss her again, she eased free of his grasp and took a step back, her eyes now focused on the wall behind him. It was impossible to speak her mind when she was lost in his mesmerizing gaze. “The earrings are lovely. I’ll cherish them always, but I’m confused about one thing.”
“What’s that?”
“While I am pleased to see you, I thought we agreed to celebrate my birthday when I got back to the States.”
“You decided, Gwen. I love you and I just wanted to make you happy. I agreed to stay behind, but secretly hoped you would change your mind and ask me to come along.”
“I didn’t think the clinic could spare you.”
Kyle shrugged. “It has been months since I had a full weekend off and I told Grandfather it was important. Occasionally, there are perks of working in a clinic where the administrator is a relative. I also promised to be back first thing Monday morning, so we only have today and tomorrow.”
“That isn’t much time. You’ll be on your way home before you know it.”
“You’re worth it. Besides, there is a lot we can do in forty-eight hours.” He nodded at the bed and playfully patted her behind, before trying again to capture her in an embrace.
After dodging his attempt, Gwen dipped her hand into her pocket, took out a pair of castle-shaped tickets, and showed them to Kyle. “While the idea of spending the day in bed with you sounds tempting, Beth and I have booked a tour of ancient castles today and we are already running late. In fact, one of the stops is at the stronghold of your MacKay ancestors. Unfortunately these had to be purchased in advance and we only have two. If I’d known you were coming, I—”
Kyle pressed two fingers to her lips, then took her hand, brought it to his mouth, and kissed each of her fingertips in turn. “No worries, sweetheart. I figured you might have already made plans and I have to admit that after pulling a double yesterday, then taking the Redeye, I’m feeling the jetlag. While the two of you tour the ruins, I’ll get some sleep.” He leaned in and pressed a kiss to her cheek, then raised his head, grinning. “But when you get back, I hope you’ll let me tag along and help you to celebrate your birthday.”
“I’d like that.” Gwen smiled, but refrained from making direct eye contact. Kyle had a way of setting her world on end and turning her insides to mush with a simple glance and, if she wasn’t careful, she’d end up foregoing the castle tour.
“I asked Beth not to fuss, but she did make reservations at The Copper Mug, a quaint inn that only serves Scottish fare, locally brewed ales, and whisky. I’ll get her to call them before we go and have them add you.”
“Sure you won’t join me?” Kyle said as he attempted to steer her toward the bed. “I’m sure Beth would forgive you.”
Gwen planted her feet and refused to move. “We have to go. You get some rest and I’ll see you when I get back.” She returned his playful pat on the behind and kiss on the cheek.
“All set. Are you ready to leave, Gwen?” Beth appeared in the doorway, then hesitated. “Unless there has been a change of plans.”
“No changes. I’m ready to go.” Gwen couldn’t have been happier with Beth’s timing. Taking full advantage of the interruption, she quickly brushed Kyle’s lips with her own, then eased from his grasp. “We should be home by six. Get some rest.” After grabbing a jacket and dropping her cell phone into her purse, she left the room with Beth in tow.
~ * ~
As expected, the tours of the castles were amazing. Gwen found herself captivated by not only the history behind each one, but the tales of Scottish lore. The myths and legends had her enthralled—especially the ones surrounding Samhain rituals, and how it was the day of the year when fairies, witches, and other strange creatures crossed over from the netherworld and walked the earth.
The final estate on the tour was that of the small, yet once powerful Clan MacQuin, and unlike the others, the minute she entered the grounds, Gwen felt a strange sense of familiarity. While she’d never been there before, she’d swear she had, and that she was being summoned by an unknown force she couldn’t explain.
When the tour concluded, Gwen wandered around the visitor orientation area—a wattle and daub building that was situated at the entrance to the castle ruins, which housed artifacts and portraits of the former inhabitants. She paused before the painting of Laird MacQuin, his wife, Lady Lilith, and a brooding dark-haired boy who, according to the tour guide, was their son Damen. “Not a very happy looking family,” Gwen said.
The guide joined her by the portrait. “As I mentioned during the tour, Lady Lilith was forced to marry her husband, and had she not given him a son when she did, could have ended up in the dungeon, or worse—dead—while the laird took a mistress to give him what he wanted. Some believed she sought the aid of a seer and witch to get pregnant,” the guide said. “The lad was their only bairn and grew up to be a reclusive, cruel, vindictive man, and even worse tempered than his da.”
“Poor Lady Lilith.” Her heart gave a tug. “I can only imagine what it was like to live during medieval times.”
The guard shook his head. “It wasna an easy life in those days, especially for women. Did you know a husband could beat his wife and na be punished, and a woman often had no say in who she married, as long as she was able to breed?”
“Having no say in who you marry and basically being your husband’s property, would have been horrible.” The mere thought of it made Gwen cringe and she thanked the Lord that she had a choice. “I’m sure glad things are different in the twenty-first century.”
“So am I,” Beth said. “A world without beau
ty parlors, nail salons, designer clothes, cell phones, and non-fat lattes is unthinkable.” She closed her eyes and shuddered. “And don’t even get me started on the subservient wife thing.”
“Being a modern thinker and a professional woman, I don’t believe I would have been able to keep my opinions to myself,” Gwen replied. “But I have always had a fascination with the era.”
“There was the option of going to the priory,” the guide suggested, then sauntered off to speak to another person on the tour.
“I’m not sure becoming a nun would have been the answer either,” Gwen muttered aloud. She couldn’t help feeling sorry for Lady Lilith’s plight, and when she returned her attention to the portrait, her heart began to pound and she suddenly found it difficult to catch her breath. Her eyes fixed on the lady’s face, she couldn’t shake the feeling she knew this woman, and when she noticed a small silver and emerald Celtic pin on her gown, Gwen gaped in disbelief. The brooch was identical to the one her mother had given her when she turned sixteen. She’d been told the pin was a family heirloom, and it was something she cherished and wore often—including now.
“I shouldn’t have been so vain and wish I’d followed your lead by dressing more casually. You were right, my feet are killing me in these heels.” Beth rested her hand on Gwen’s shoulder for support, lifted her left foot, then removed her shoe. “I’m exhausted, but have to admit they saved the best castle for last. The tour guide is absolutely dreamy and his brogue makes me melt. I wish I could get to know him better.”
Gwen didn’t answer. Instead, she continued to stare at the picture, tuning out her friend’s chatter.
“Here he comes, and he’s looking our way,” Beth whispered on a breathy sigh. She tightened her grip, her nails digging into Gwen’s upper arm. “Maybe I’ll go talk to him for a bit?” When Gwen didn’t respond, she thumped her on the back. “Earth to Gwen. Hello. What are you looking at?”
