by JM Stewart
He straightened and finished getting dressed, pulling on and buttoning his shirt, finding his socks and his shoes. Silence rose over the room, the air prickling with tension. Christina’s gaze followed his every move, but he forced himself to focus on his task and refused to look at her. After all, she did him a favor by putting distance between them and neatly severing whatever tie they’d formed last night.
Making love to a woman was supposed to create intimacy. Making love to the one woman he actually cared about had done nothing but widen the rift between them. This damn night should never have happened.
Christina rose from the bed, hands fisted at her sides, and pinned him with a hard stare. He didn’t miss the way her lower lip trembled, but stubborn woman that she was, she stuck her chin in the air.
“Fine. You really want to know what I’m thinking? I had the luxury of waking up next to you this morning. I lay there for a few minutes, watching you sleep.” She let out a harsh laugh. “Pathetic, right? So, you’ll have to forgive me for being a bit cold, but I’ve been here before, and I have no desire to watch you fumble for an excuse about how this can’t happen again. I already know that. So consider me saving you the trouble.”
She didn’t give him a chance to respond but strode past him and out the bedroom door. The sound of her heels click-clacking across the hardwood floors filled the unbearable silence that rose over the house, followed by the front door snapping shut. Thirty seconds later, an engine roared to life in her garage. He made his way to the window and nudged the pale blue curtain aside in time to catch the tail of her silver BMW speeding away from the house.
He also noted the limo. Outside, sitting along the curb, his driver waited, leaning back against the car, arms folded. The sight nudged a sore spot inside, yet filled him with awe. Not only had she called his driver for him, but she’d also woken him, knowing his daily schedule, and had even made him coffee exactly the way he liked it. Once again, she had no idea how much she tended to act like his wife, like they shared something more than they did. The knowledge taunted him. He’d already crossed the line with her, had already laid his heart out on a flippin’ platter. If ever there was a woman worth taking a risk on, it was her. So what was to stop him from doing exactly that?
The thoughts circled in his mind as he shoved his feet into his shoes and made his way toward the front door. After closing up the house, he met his driver at the curb. Miles wasn’t much older than him. He was a tall man. In his black uniform and sunglasses, the man reminded him of a CIA operative, but he did his job with excellence. Best driver he’d had in years.
Miles smiled politely as he pulled open the passenger door. “Where to, sir?”
Sebastian returned a tired smile. “Home, please. I’ll need a shower and a quick change; then I’ll be heading into the office.”
“Yes, sir.”
Sebastian climbed inside and settled back against the leather seats. As the limo pulled away from the curb, he sighed and stared out the window. As the houses and trees blurred past, one thought stood out above the rest. Christina had clearly expected him to make his excuses and leave. Which one meant thing: She didn’t trust him. He ought to be glad for it, but he couldn’t drum up the emotion for the life of him. The knowledge was a tumor growing in his gut. He wanted, more than anything, to prove to her he wasn’t like the other jerks in her life. Hell, to prove to her he wasn’t the jerk he’d always shown her. He wanted to prove to himself as well that he wasn’t his father.
Which meant things had to change.
By the time the limo pulled into the parking garage of his building, the decision had made itself. He had to earn Christina’s trust or die trying.
Chapter Five
Christina stared down at the white bakery box on her desk. Over the last two weeks, she’d received a bevy of things like it. Every day since she’d last seen Sebastian, she’d arrived at her work to find a hot cup of Starbucks coffee on her desk. A vanilla latte with no whipped cream and fat-free milk. The first had come with a handwritten note:
A peace offering. To get you through the morning.
~Sebastian
When the fifth arrived, she’d finally asked Paula. She said he stopped in every morning. How the hell he managed to beat her to work, she didn’t know, but he hadn’t stopped there, either. Every day lunch had been delivered via a messenger. Again, the first came with another handwritten note:
I know you have a tendency to skip lunch in favor of work. You’re not doing anybody any good if you don’t stop to eat.
~Sebastian
The trouble was, he was right. She did have a tendency to skip lunch. Especially now with the software release coming in two weeks. This was always the busiest time, to make sure nothing went wrong on release day.
Today’s surprise was a box of cookies. Peanut butter cookies to be exact. This one, though, hadn’t come with a note. She didn’t have to ask to know these were likely from Sebastian as well. Mrs. Humphreys, her parents’ housekeeper when she and Caden were kids, always made sure there was a fresh, warm batch when they got home from school every day. Nine times out of ten, Sebastian would come home with them. She had so many memories of the three of them, sitting in the kitchen, chomping down cookies and swallowing them with glasses of milk. Ever since, peanut butter cookies had always reminded her of home.
She released a heavy sigh, leaned back in her chair, and turned her gaze to the white textured ceiling. What she’d wanted was time. She was struggling with the aftermath of their night together. With any other man, she had no problem walking away. Sebastian was just different. They couldn’t go back from this. Neither could she forget. Truth be told, she wasn’t certain she wanted to, or even could, think of him as just a friend now. So she’d put her head down and focused on work.
And now this. Clearly he had a reason for doing it, but what? Sebastian had never showered her with quite so much before. Oh, he took her out for lunch on her birthday every year. Christmas they always exchanged gifts. But up until the day his father died, he’d always been rather…indifferent toward her. While the gifts were sweet, she still hadn’t a clue which side of him was real.
How was she supposed to react to this after the way things had ended between them? Call and thank him and pretend nothing had changed? She wasn’t sure she could pull it off anymore.
Before she could decide, her phone buzzed from its position on the corner of her desk. Sebastian’s number flashed on the screen. Apparently, she couldn’t avoid him either.
She sat forward, snatched up her phone, and punched the ACCEPT button. “Sebastian, what is all this?”
“So you got them.”
She closed her eyes. It was the first time in two weeks that they’d really spoken. Oh, he’d called, and she’d texted to thank him for the coffee and the lunches, but the sound of his voice on a machine had nothing on him live. His rich, smooth rumble slid along the phone line like a hot caress, sending a shower of sparks over the surface of her skin.
She sighed. This. This was why she’d been avoiding him. What she needed was time to find her center again, to find some kind of equilibrium where he was concerned, but how the hell could she do that when just the sound of his voice weakened her defenses?
“I got the cookies. Thank you. Peanut butter is my favorite.” She swallowed a miserable groan. Of course he knew that.
“Mrs. Humphreys’s cookies. You mentioned her that morning. You were babbling at me while you made breakfast. I remember those peanut butter cookies she used to make. You know I don’t cook, so these are from that bakery you love in Pike Place Market.”
She squeezed her eyes closed and drew a deep breath. Damn it all to hell. He had to go and say that. “It’s very sweet, Baz, but it doesn’t change anything.”
A soft creak sounded over the line, the sound a chair makes when it’s tipped backward, and her head filled with visions of him in his office. “Do you know in all the years we’ve known each other, you’ve never really st
opped speaking to me? Oh, you tried once, in fifth grade, because I was an ass and I deserved it. But it was only for a couple of days.”
Heart hammering, she opened her eyes, staring for a moment at her office door some ten feet beyond her desk. “I’m surprised you remember that.”
“I remember everything, Tina.” He spoke the words with the same low, tender tone. “Since then, you’ve always gotten in my face and yelled at me. I can’t count on all ten fingers and toes the numbers of times I was sick and you barged into my condo and insisted on taking care of me. But since that night we spent together, you’ve been avoiding me and it tells me something. Loud and clear.”
Don’t ask. Cut the call short and don’t ask. At least, that’s what the logical side of her brain told her.
The side of her that desperately wanted to get back to some semblance of normal, however, wouldn’t let her not ask. Before they’d slept together, she wouldn’t have hesitated to call and thank him. Or spend a few minutes chatting. “Told you what?”
“That you don’t trust me. Which is what all this is.”
“An attempt to re-earn my trust?” God, was it even possible?
“As a start. To show you that I meant it when I said I see you.”
Christina’s heart kicked up its pace, thundering through her chest. Not for the first time this morning, his words threatened to melt her every defense.
The office door opened and her assistant, Paula, poked her head inside. “I’m sorry to interrupt, Miss McKenzie, but your eleven o’clock is here.”
Grateful for the interruption, she sat forward, held the phone away from her mouth, and smiled at Paula.
“Thank you, Paula. Give me five minutes?” When Paula nodded and closed the door, she turned back to the phone. “Baz, I’m afraid I have to go. I have a meeting with the head of IT. The new software launches in two weeks, and it’s a madhouse around here.”
“Always is before a launch.” His voice held a smile, a warmth that slid along her nerve endings. “Don’t stress. You have very good attention to detail. Things will go off without a hitch, the way they always do.”
“I sure hope so.” She hesitated, heart hammering in her ears. To tell him this was laying her cards on the table again, but even a friend would say thank you. Right? “Thank you for the cookies. It was a sweet gesture.”
“You’re welcome. I’ll see you at the auction, Tina.”
The hint of anticipation in his voice had the same emotion sliding along her nerve endings.
“See you at the auction.” She hung up her phone and laid it on her desk before dropping back in her chair. The auction. Where she could no longer hide from him, but would, instead, be face-to-face with him. God help her.
* * *
Masculine laughter rang through the near empty ballroom, sending Christina’s pulse skittering. Standing beside the bar on the far right of the square room, the light and fluffy conversation she’d been having with the women seated beside her went forgotten. They’d been discussing the bachelors, biding their time until the auction started in a half hour.
Now the hairs on the back of her neck prickled. Warmth flooded her insides, and whatever she’d been about to say flew right out of her head as her senses honed in on Sebastian. Oh, she didn’t have to look to know the laughter was his. She’d been hearing that laugh for twenty years.
There was still a lot of setup to be done, to make sure the evening went without a hitch, but the thought of seeing him again had her on edge since she’d arrived two hours ago. Her whole body trembled, waiting for the moment when he’d show up.
Music played over the loudspeakers in the room, soft and low, but did nothing to soothe her nerves. She picked up her half-empty champagne flute off the bar and tipped its contents into her mouth.
She touched the shoulder of the brunette to her right. “Excuse me, ladies.”
Then she sent up a silent prayer, straightened her shoulders, and forced herself to turn around. The two women beside her, lonely housewives in their forties whose husbands traveled for work, turned to flirt with the young bartender.
Their conversation faded to a muted hum behind her as Christina’s gaze found Sebastian across the room. He and Caden stood off to the left of the entryway. The two appeared to be having a relaxed conversation.
He looked spectacular, as usual. His black Armani tux fit him to perfection, showcasing his broad shoulders and long legs. Soaking shamelessly in the sight of him, the memory of waking beside him hit her full force. After their intimate conversation at work two weeks ago, the memory refused to leave her. Waking with him pressed against her back, like two nesting spoons, his arm flung over her waist, fingers curled around her left breast like it belonged there.
Closing her eyes to gather herself, the soft stir of his warm breath against the nape of her neck rushed back at her, so vivid and so real, the same shivers ran the length of her spine all over again.
For the first time since she’d started these fund-raisers three years ago, she didn’t look forward to the evening. Seeing him was throwing her for a loop. Something was definitely different about him. She couldn’t ignore that. But neither was she ready to see him.
God, if only Maddie and Hannah were here. They’d talk her down from the rafters. Since making full partner at their father’s law office in San Diego a few years back, Caden hadn’t come home as much. She’d missed him. He’d moved home again officially after he and Hannah got together, and Christina spent as much time with the two of them as he’d allow.
She and Maddie had gotten together to plan Hannah’s bachelorette party. The three of them had so much fun it became a weekly tradition, getting together for coffee, lunch, or an afternoon movie. Always having been one of the smart girls, she’d spent most of her childhood with her head in books. Reading, absorbing and learning as much as she could had always been her addiction. Her idea of fun were the experiments in chemistry class. Which meant she’d never had gaggles of friends. Caden had always been her confidant. It was good to have girlfriends.
Maddie had promised to come but as of yet hadn’t arrived. Caden stood alone with Sebastian, though. Had Hannah stayed home? Had the morning sickness become too much?
“He looks good in a tux. It suits him.”
At Hannah’s soft, familiar voice, Christina glanced beside her. She and Maddie stood to the right of the bar, both of them wearing knowing smiles. Despite her embarrassment at having been caught ogling, relief flooded her, relaxing the knot in her stomach. Now she wouldn’t have to face tonight alone.
“Oh, I’m so glad you made it.” Unable to hide her enthusiasm, she stepped forward, enveloping each of them in a hug, then stood back, eyeing Hannah. Her gorgeous dress flowed over her curves. She looked beautiful and feminine, and she glowed, but at six months pregnant, she looked uncomfortable. She also looked a little green around the gills. Christina flashed a worried frown. “How are you feeling? I take it the morning sickness isn’t getting any better?”
“I’m afraid not. As long as I eat regularly, it’s not as bad, so I made sure I had something before we left the house.” Hannah frowned, lips pursed, and stroked a hand over her rounded belly. “I swear by the time this baby’s born, I’m going to be as fat as a house. I’ve already lost sight of my feet.”
Christina rubbed her arm. “Oh, nonsense. You’re beautiful. I’m jealous. You have that glow.”
Hannah smiled, her golden brown eyes alight, as if she’d caught wind of a secret.
“Funny. You have the same glow this evening.” She nodded in the direction of the men across the ballroom. “Sebastian got here the same time we did. He caught us on the way in. You should go over and say hello.”
Christina turned to eye Sebastian again and sighed. Any other time, she wouldn’t have hesitated to greet him as he arrived for the auction. She’d always played the part of the gracious hostess, and she was always grateful for his participation. Now, regret and longing warred for supremacy in her stoma
ch. So much had changed between them.
Hannah drew her brows together, studying her. “Something happened between the two of you.”
At Hannah’s astute observation, Christina straightened her shoulders and turned back to the girls. Normally she shared everything with them, but she hadn’t shared this. She hadn’t wanted it to get back to Caden. Hadn’t wanted to face the aftermath at all. “And I’m not ready to face him again yet.”
Maddie nodded at something beyond her. “Then you better brace yourself, sweetie. He’s heading in our direction.”
Christina swiveled, following Maddie’s gaze. Her stomach tightened. Maddie was right. Where Caden walked at a casual pace, Sebastian stalked several steps ahead, his stride long and purposeful, his gaze set on her, piercing and determined.
“Oh God.” Christina set her shoulders, trying to summon her courage, to prepare herself for the contact. “What on earth do I say to him?”
Making love to him hadn’t at all been a casual romp in the hay, as she’d expected, the way she’d experienced with most of the men she’d been with over the years. Sebastian was familiar. His touch on her body might have been a new sensation, but the act itself had seemed oddly like déjà vu. Like they’d made love a thousand times. He made her long to get lost in the blue sea of his eyes, lost in his warm touch. Waking in his arms had thrown her for a loop, if only because it had felt so damn right. His body beside her in bed had felt as natural as taking a breath.
She’d hoped the last month would have given her the time she needed, but all the gifts he’d sent had left her feeling as if she stood on a fault line. They hadn’t talked again since that conversation two weeks ago. Oh, she’d texted to thank him but hadn’t called him back. She’d apologized, giving him the excuse that she was busy. It wasn’t even an excuse, really. It was the truth. Last month’s software release had gone off without a hitch. Sales were better than expected, but profits were still down. They needed to brainstorm, come up with new marketing initiatives or they’d never compete in this market.
