“Like when I was having those stupid dreams,” Topaz mumbled.
“I want Niki to stay here with me,” Topaz said to Nina, who was on her way out.
“If Niki wants to stay, she can,” Nina said, and she was gone.
Topaz went back downstairs and found Niki. “Want to spend the night with Aunty?”
“No, thank you.” Niki immediately went to Nina where she carefully eyed Topaz until Nina and Kyle took her home.
The next morning everyone was at Keisha and Eric’s dressed in black. It was truly an ebony fashion affair. Topaz came downstairs in black Versace with a pair of Jimmy Choos dangling in her hand, looking like the star she was.
A huge black and white diamond sparkled on her hand. It was her Christmas present from Germain. He and Chris had shopped for it at Harry Winston. He had purchased the diamond and the gift card the morning of the kids’ play. Chris handed her the package on Christmas morning. Topaz stared at the package for an hour before she opened it. She simply put on the ring and continued to gaze out the window.
Topaz’s stylist did Niki’s hair, and it looked like silk. It was so shiny and beautiful. She had on a black velvet dress with a white lace collar. She was too cute in her black opaque stockings and shiny patent leather slipons. Topaz smiled at her for a second and continued looking out the window. Lisa dressed Baby Doll in a black taffeta dress. It was a miracle that Topaz managed to dress herself.
Topaz whimpered softly when the cars arrived to take the family to Forest Lawn where the service would be held. I can’t go through with this.
She wanted to run upstairs and get back in bed. This was a little too real for her. She was still expecting Germain to come walking through the door any minute, but he didn’t and he wouldn’t. It was time to go to the funeral and say good-bye.
She took her place at the front door and was relieved when Keisha and Eric took her by the hand. No real thinking there. She could continue to be mindless and just follow them. Chris, Baby Doll, and Kendra were behind them. Nina fell in the ranks with Niki.
“Mommy, I want to go with Baby Doll and Chris.”
Nina looked at Chris. “Watch out for your sisters.”
“Okay.” He took both girls by a hand. But Chris had always watched after them like a good brother. The job just had an official title now. His little face looked so unhappy. Germain had always been there for him. He had survived without his mother but never without his dad.
An attendant ushered them outside to the cars. With each passing moment, it became more difficult for Topaz to breathe. She took lots of small, shallow breaths, but nothing deep. She couldn’t because she had made up her mind that she was also going to die. No one was talking. Even the children were quiet as Topaz examined the Bentley. It was a gift from Sherwin on behalf of VMG. Superstar was still selling like crazy, and the car was their way of saying thank you. The customized vehicle was a bit too flashy even for her, so Topaz seldom if ever drove it. She had purchased Germain’s Porsche to match the Bentley.
They were driven south to Slauson and west to the 405. Topaz closed her eyes; she felt like she was suffocating. She put a few cubes of ice in a tumbler and poured out of the bottle of alcohol closest to her. She drank the liquor quickly. It tasted terrible and it felt like fire as it ran down her throat. Moments later, she was already feeling the effects. She poured another and drank it down.
Finally, the cars drove onto the manicured grounds of Forest Lawn in Burbank. People from all walks of life were waiting to say good-bye to Germain, too. As they were ushered into the chapel and past the casket, Topaz’s knees grew weak when she saw Germain’s body. She paused for a second to look at his remains. She couldn’t stand to see him with all the makeup that was used to cover the bruises on his face. It didn’t look like Germain at all. The family was just about finished viewing the body when Sabre arrived.
She entered from the back with their publicist, Mimi, who tiptoed to seats Sherwin had saved for them. Sabre ran up to the casket as it was being closed and screamed.
“Germain.” She sank onto the floor and cried.
Everyone looked at her like she was crazy.
“Mother, who is that woman?” Chris demanded.
Sabre was wearing a fine black straw hat. It covered half of her face, but Topaz still knew it was Sabre.
“Sabre,” Topaz whispered sharply to Chris. She couldn’t believe how the girl was carrying on at her husband’s funeral. That bitch better sit down before I kick her ass all over this chapel.
“That was a performance,” Kyle whispered into Nina’s ear.
“Topaz told me Germain slept with her.”
Kyle’s expression registered his shock. “I don’t believe it.”
“Straight from T. She and Germain got into a fight about it,” Nina informed him. “Look at her.”
Sabre was on her knees sobbing at the foot of the casket. Topaz crossed her legs and looked pissed as hell. Nobody knew what to do, so no one did anything. Others coughed and whispered because they were embarrassed for Sabre, but she didn’t care. She sat on the floor crying until Mimi coaxed her back to her seat on the pew. You could still hear her crying when the service finally started.
Kyle continued whispering, “Dramatical.”
Nina had to smile. Flavor Flav invented a new word on his reality TV show that described Sabre’s little scene perfectly. Dramatical.
People had nothing but good things to say about Germain. His family, staff, and even a few patients shared humorous anecdotes that warmed the heart.
“Germain was a great man, a wonderful husband and father, and the perfect son-in-law,” said Topaz’s mother, Lisa. You knew what Topaz would look like in eighteen years when you saw Lisa.
Nina was not surprised when Kyle went up. He stood there smiling at everyone and looking just like Papa Ross. “The doc…that’s what I always called him. He was a hell of a man, and I am honored to say he was my best friend.”
Topaz found a smile for Kyle, who gently squeezed her hand as he was seated.
During the last part of the service, Topaz was scheduled to sing. Nina couldn’t believe it when she saw Topaz’s name in the program. But then, Topaz would attempt to sing since it was for Germain. The minister announced her and she went up, sat in the chair, and picked up her guitar that was sitting in a stand by the microphone. She strummed the opening chords to “Tears in Heaven.” When she tried to sing nothing came out. She stopped playing and took a sip of water from a Baccarat tumbler.
“Excuse me.” Topaz looked out at the audience and then at the guitar sitting on her thigh. There was no way she could sing. Her throat had closed up and she could barely breathe. I can’t do this. She wanted to scream and have a big pity for herself until she saw Chris’s worried face and realized she had to keep it together. She didn’t want Chris worrying about her.
Topaz played the opening notes again, but when she tried to sing, a few screechy, breathless words came out.
“Would…you know my name?” She was filled with too much pain and grief so she sobbed, “I can’t do it.”
She ran outside where the day was gray and the lawns a bright forest green and yelled, “Germain is not dead!” She just couldn’t accept it. She was about to jump in her car and run away when Keisha walked out of the chapel and held her tightly.
“How ya doin’, girlfriend?”
Topaz couldn’t speak.
“You’re being so strong for the children.”
Nina came outside next and finally Jade. No one talked, but they all stood out there, in a little group, feeling badly for Topaz. Each of them saying in their own way, no matter what they would always be friends. They stayed until everyone inside came out, following the casket and sprays of flowers out of the chapel.
As soon as Topaz saw it, the lump was back in her throat and she could barely breathe. She watched as they loaded the casket into the hearse. The girls fell in line, got into the cars, and drove farther out to the entombment
. Topaz was numb as they walked away from the grave back to the cars. It was over.
Next, they were driven to The Diamond for dinner. Keisha led Topaz over to her usual table where the other Black Friends and some family members joined them. It was their first gathering since the weekend of Sean’s birthday party. The group was unusually quiet, but as they ate and drank, the conversations began.
“Topaz is handling this so well,” Keisha commented to Nina.
“Too well,” Nina added.
“Hello, everyone.” It was Mimi. But no one really heard anything Mimi said because they were all focused on Sabre.
“I’m sorry for your loss.” Sabre put a hand on her hip and stood in front of Topaz. She was really trying to be sincere.
“Sabre, how did you get my journal?” Nina demanded as calmly as she could.
“It was at your house in a bookcase. I was bored and it was kind of interesting.”
“How dare you steal something from my home. I’m going to press charges.”
“You bitch, I swear I’ll kick your ass.” Topaz grabbed Sabre and threw her onto the table. Before Topaz knew it, her hands were around the girl’s throat and she was choking her. “How dare you come here, bitch,” Topaz screamed.
“He was too good for yo ass, you good-for-nothin’ ho!” Sabre screamed back.
Nina and Keisha managed to pull Topaz off Sabre, and the two women carefully eyed each other until security came to remove Sabre.
“What? Why do I have to go? I’m a star too.” Sabre was furious. No matter what she did, Topaz always won.
“It’s my party,” Topaz reminded her.
“You’re just like my damn mother. She gave me away so her ass could run behind some man. Just like you gave Niki away. Thank goodness for Nina so Niki didn’t end up in foster care with a bunch of issues like me.”
“Get her out of here,” Topaz commanded. “Now.”
Sabre and Mimi left the restaurant, but Topaz couldn’t get Sabre’s words out of her head.
Run behind some man? Just like her mother? Issues?
“Nina, get me some tequila shots,” Topaz demanded.
Tequila shots? Nina had never seen Topaz drink a shot of tequila in her life, and they had done some partying. “That’s a strange request.”
“It’s a strange day. Now get me some liquor, chile.” She forced a believable smile while she thought, I’m never going to see Germain again. She drank the shot of tequila in a swallow, frowned, and then disposed of a second.
“Slow down, T.” Nina gave Topaz a look of concern.
“I have got to get out of here.” Topaz gave the children a quick kiss good-bye. “Bye, babies.” She kissed Baby Doll and Chris and then Niki, who all looked at her with happy golden eyes. She threw on her fur coat and gave a Diana Ross wave and ran out of the restaurant before anyone tried to stop her.
“Where is she going?” Keisha asked Nina.
“That’s a good question,” Nina replied. “Where is she going?”
Topaz swiped a bottle of tequila from the bar as she left the restaurant. “Merry Christmas.” She flashed the bartender her million-dollar smile and she was gone. Once inside the Bentley, she headed for her house in Pacific Palisades.
Keisha frowned. “We didn’t even think to ask where she was going.”
“And she didn’t tell us,” Nina finished.
“I’m a terrible mother. I gave my child away and I lost Germain. How am I going to live without you, Germain?” She cried from the depths of her soul and smacked the steering wheel. “I can’t, baby. I can’t. I can’t live without you,” Topaz screamed. “When am I going to wake up and find out this is all a terrible nightmare?”
Nina dialed Topaz’s cell phone, but it rang and went to voice mail. “She’s knows I’m calling her. Why won’t she answer?”
Topaz, now sufficiently liquored up, drove onto the property and went to the security room where her guards watched the estate.
“Mrs. Gradney. We’re so sorry to hear about the boss’s accident. We love the doc.”
“I know, boys. Thanks a lot.” She gave them a dazzling smile and they swooned. “Can I have one of your guns, please?”
“A gun?” one of them repeated, puzzled.
“A gun. In case I need to shoot something. Just a little extra something for me to have while I’m out driving. I just need to be by myself for a while and I might need some protection,” Topaz explained.
The guys looked at one another, unsure of how to handle her request.
“I won’t tell anyone, and I’ll give it back first thing in the morning.” Topaz smiled.
“I don’t know,” the youngest began.
“Oh, give it to her.” The other man handed her a gun.
“Thanks, boys, I’ll be right back with it.” Topaz got back into the car and drove east on Sunset Boulevard. The Hollywood sign grew bigger and brighter as Topaz drove into Hollywood and traveled north to Mulholland.
“Answer the damn phone,” Nina yelled at the device and looked at Keisha. “Where is she?”
“I know where she is,” Kyle said to Nina.
“Let’s go.” Nina ran behind Kyle as he walked swiftly toward the car.
Topaz rolled down the window. She was beginning to get dizzy. The alcohol on an empty, nervous stomach was taking its toll.
“I’m coming, baby. I’m on my way.” She punched the gas and the automobile glided down the curvy mountain road. “Superstar” came on the radio, and she almost lost control of the car trying to turn it off.
“Where are you going?” Nina asked Kyle.
“Where T is. I know she’s there; I’ve been wanting to see myself,” Kyle explained.
“See what?” Nina demanded.
“Just sit back and see.” Kyle smiled.
“You looked like Papa Ross today.” Nina laughed.
“I am Papa Ross.” Kyle grinned and Nina giggled.
“Where is it?” Topaz slowed down almost to a creep and then pulled off the side of the road. She saw the dented barricade and felt like someone stabbed her with a knife. This was the spot where Germain’s Porsche flipped off the road.
Highway patrol came to the house with a report. Germain was driving over ninety miles per hour when the car skidded and flipped over the metal railing. Topaz cried a fresh batch of tears. Germain had died somewhere between where she was parked and the rocks below. It tore her heart to pieces every time she thought about it. Now she was finally here.
She sniffed and glanced over the steering wheel at the lights in the basin below. It was a spectacular view. Did Germain drive up here to think about me?
Forensics had also placed the time of death right after the last call from his cell phone, which was to her.
Topaz spoke out loud to herself. “You were trying to call me, baby. You said I love you. But you didn’t drive off this place trying to get away from me, did you?” She had finally said it. She was still crying when she took out the bag of powder cocaine and snorted it until she was medicated sufficiently.
Kyle and Nina drove by on the other side of Mulholland and spotted her Bentley.
“Is this the place?” Nina looked into Kyle’s eyes as he agreed with a nod of the head. “Why would she come here now?” Nina began to cry.
Topaz tried to open the car door with the gun in her hand, but her strength was gone. She looked up and saw Nina and Kyle coming toward her. She tried to run, but she tripped and fell and skinned her knees. She could feel them smarting, but she crawled as quickly as she could through the dirt and rocks trying to reach the edge of the cliff.
“Topaz! No!” Nina screamed. “Kyle, get her!”
But Topaz was determined. When she saw she couldn’t make it to the cliff without their stopping her, she closed her eyes and put the gun to her head. She pulled the trigger, but there was only a click. Her eyes popped open. The gun had no bullets. Security had given her an empty gun.
Topaz tossed the gun on the ground and collapsed
on her back in the dirt and rocks. “I can’t do anything right. I couldn’t even kill myself.”
When Kyle and Nina reached her, she was laughing hysterically, and they both thought she had lost her mind.
“I tried to kill myself and I couldn’t do it,” Topaz mumbled and fell out cold.
Postlude
It was the Friday before MLK Day, and another long weekend was already underway. At Revelation Music, things were extremely busy with the Grammys quickly approaching and a party during the NBA All Star weekend. Amid the busyness, Nina and Kyle were also finalizing projects for the second half of the year. It felt good to be back at work because it gave them an escape from what had become a new reality…life without Germain.
Nina watched Kyle playing with a 20Q that she had picked up for him in an airport. She couldn’t even remember which one now, because so much had happened since the trip to Philadelphia. Her cell phone rang and she was thankful for the distraction.
“Five bedrooms in Sherman Oaks, north of Ventura, and it has a pool?” Nina sounded excited, and Kyle looked up to see to whom she was talking.
“But it has only three baths?” Nina paused to think. “That’s worth looking at. I’ll be right there.”
She quickly jotted down the address on a notepad and clicked off her phone.
“Are you going to see a house?” Kyle seemed extremely interested.
“Want to come with?”
Minutes later, they were on the Ventura Freeway. Kyle made an exit at Van Nuys Boulevard and pulled up in front of the house.
“Wow. It’s nice and the street is nice too. Is this blingy enough for you?” Kyle looked at Nina.
“I have to see inside before I can make a decision. It’s just going to be our weekday house. We have bling in Malibu.”
The real estate agent took them on a tour of the house, but Nina was sold as soon as she saw the kitchen. It looked like a kitchen where kids would bake cookies, talk about what happened at school, and eat grilled cheese sandwiches. There were cherry hardwood floors everywhere, plenty of sunlight, and a nice view of the pool from the family room.
Diamond Revelation Page 28
