by Hannah Shaw
For Penny and Gulliver
Contents
Cover
Title Page
Dedication
Chapter One: The (not so) Perfect Pet
Chapter Two: The Perfect Pet!
Chapter Three: Lost Gets Lost
Chapter Four: Neeeeeooooowwwww!!!!
Chapter Five: The Den
Chapter Six: Operation: Save Ursula!
Chapter Seven: Let's Get Scruffy!
Chapter Eight: The Park
Chapter Nine: A Perfect Pong
Chapter Ten: A Close Shave
About the Author
Also available by Hannah Shaw
Copyright Page
Chapter One
THE (not so) PERFECT PET
You know the kind of shop you walk past a thousand times and never really notice? The kind of shop that must have been there since your granny was in nappies?
Well, “The Perfect Pet” is that shop. The paint is peeling from the doorframe, the sign is wonky and the posters in the window are faded. If you step a little closer to the entrance, the whiff of musty gerbil poop and damp shavings will tickle your nostrils.
Shall we step inside? Ting-a-ling!
What a mess…!
Did you spot?
•Fleas (watch your ankles! There’s an infestation in the carpet!)
•Rodent bedding
•Dogs’ beds
•Birdseed
•Dog biscuits and chews
•Cat scratching posts
•Budgie mirrors
•Grooming brushes
•Collars
Look even harder and you may find the more unusual items such as:
•Meat-flavoured toothpaste (Mmm! Delicious!)
•Cat hammocks – for the cat that likes to chill.
•Dog seatbelts – Buckle up, pooches!
•A miniature shipwreck – an essential for a nautical-themed fishtank.
Somewhere asleep at the back of the pet shop is the owner, Mr Straw. He loves all animals (great and small) and would help anything from a grizzly bear to a woodlouse if it was in need.
He spends most of his days dozing, waking only briefly to serve customers (fortunately for him there aren’t very many of those). His jumpers are usually inside out and because he is always losing his glasses, he can’t see very much. But this is probably for the best, because if he knew what his beloved pets were up to, he’d be worried…
Pets? I hear you say. There are pets in here?! Where?
You can’t see them just at the moment because they are playing a game of hide-and-seek.
Shall we go and find them?
Look, over there in the bin of dried peas and sunflower seeds – some ears are poking out. It’s Gerb! He’s a gerbil … with HUGE ears. His giant lugholes are very useful and he can hear someone coming from a mile away. He wants to be the first flying gerbil, but he hasn’t quite figured that one out yet.
Is that a feather duster? No, it’s Lost – the budgie. Lost is even more shortsighted than Mr Straw. She only found out her name when she saw herself on a lost budgie poster. One day she tumbled into the yard of the Perfect Pet shop and she hasn’t found her way home since. Lost is now happily “on holiday”, as she likes to think of it (secretly, she can’t remember where she used to live anyway).
Give a huge round of applause for Elvis – the chameleon. Uh-huh! Elvis is an ancient exotic desert chameleon with an exciting musical past (he once belonged to a man who made a living impersonating this really old singer your gran used to like). He has the funky ability to change into loads of colours, unfortunately, he usually ends up picking the wrong one and can’t merge into the background. “But having a long, sticky tongue is very handy, thankyouverymuch!”
Grr! Woof! Here comes Itch! This lovable flea-ridden mutt has been living in the pet shop the longest and is leader of the pack. He is by far the scruffiest, but he’s super-streetwise from years of being a wanderer. He has lost an eye, but he totally rocks the pirate dog look, and his sense of smell is terrific.
And that’s all of the pets that live in the shop… Oops, I almost forgot Slug.
“What do you mean? You forgot about the BEST pet here! I’m a medium-sized garden slug of immaculate pedigree. Humph! And I’m the only slug in the world who can read and write.”
Slug learned to read after eating his way through the piles of Mr Straw’s newspapers. (And he’s not REALLY a pet … but don’t tell him that!)
Together they are the Scruffs – the scruffiest, smelliest pets in town!
And no, although this is meant to be a pet shop, Mr Straw has no intention of selling any of them. This is their home and they love it here.
Chapter Two
THE PERFECT PET!
It was one of those days where it was too wet to play outside in the yard, so the pets were playing hide-and-seek in the shop.
Itch was the seeker.
Lost was the easiest to find (she had got lost on the way to her hiding place).
Elvis had tried to camouflage himself on a green plant, but had accidentally turned himself sparkly silver. Gerb was inside a hamster ball. Itch could smell him a mile off.
Slug was usually the hardest to find. But Itch knew he had a weakness for anything made of paper…
“Found You!” shouted Itch as he spotted Slug on Mr Straw’s bookshelf.
“This one is delicious!” Slug said through a mouthful of index page. “So many tasty words.”
“That was fun,” Itch said, rolling on the floor and trying to dislodge a particularly irksome flea.
Ting-a-ling!
“Hello, Itch, my boy!” Mr Straw walked in and gave Itch a good scratch on the tummy.
Mr Straw headed for the counter and carefully put down what he had been carrying. “Now, I have a very special surprise for you all!”
Behold:
The pets gathered round curiously to look at the lilac-coloured pet carrier Mr Straw had brought with him, which was bejewelled with fabulous gemstones.
“Wow, just look at that!” sighed Elvis longingly. “So much sparkle!”
“It’s a tad over the top, if you ask me,” snorted Gerb. “What’s wrong with a cardboard box with holes in?”
A shadow shifted inside the case.
The pets shuffled back. Something was inside!
Mr Straw unzipped the mesh on the front of the case. “Come on, love,” he said. “No need to be shy.”
Everyone watched in silence. For a few minutes nothing stirred. Then, out of the case appeared a perfectly manicured paw … followed by another … and then … the most beautiful cat emerged. She was wearing a designer collar that glittered with diamonds and her fur shone like silk.
There was a collective gasp from the gang.
“Everyone, meet Ursula,” Mr Straw said. “I’m sure you’ll make her feel very at home here.” Mr Straw fussed over the cat for a minute before reaching into the carry case and bringing out a purple satin cushion and a pink, fluffy scratching post. “You’ll soon settle in, puss,” he said with a smile. “They’re a friendly bunch.”
Mr Straw made himself a cup of tea and sunk in his chair, and within minutes he had resumed his normal activity: snoring loudly.
Ursula looked around the shop, taking it all in – the dirt, the dust, the grime, the out-of-date kitty snacks. She sniffed and wrinkled up her pink nose.
“Excuse me,” she meowed, “but where is your high-definition, extra-large-screen TV? I’m missing Antiques Roadshow!”
The Scruffs looked blank. “Errr…” Itch started.
“And can one of you bring me my special food bowl with my name engraved on it? I usually have some finely-diced salmon around this time, but tuna will do so long as it’s fresh.”
“Umm…”
“And I can’t seem to see a designer sofa with hand-embroidered silk cushions to stretch out on? Is it behind that pile of dented dog-food tins?”
“Well…”
“And surely there must be a roaring birchwood log fire to sit next to somewhere?”
“We don’t have any of that here!” burst out Itch. “But we CAN play hide-and-seek, if you like…”
Ursula sighed. “No thank you, that sounds noisy and childish.” She sighed again. “I have to admit, I was expecting something a little more high-class. I guess I’ll just lie down on my cushion. Perhaps someone will tidy up a bit while I’m asleep.”
Itch growled.
WHAT A SNOB! he thought. “Come on, guys! Forget about HER!” he said loudly enough for Ursula to hear. “Lets have fun! Look, the sun has decided to shine!” Indeed the sunlight was now trickling in through the smeary windows.
“Can we play hide-and-seek again?” chirped Lost. “I’m sure I won’t get lost this time.”
Everyone groaned, but Itch said, “OK, OK, one last game. One … two … three … four…”
Within a minute Itch had found Elvis, Gerb and Slug. But it seemed that Lost really had become good at hiding. Itch couldn’t smell her anywhere. Soon everyone was looking for her.
“Is Lost … er … lost again?” asked Gerb.
“Are you looking for your feathered friend?” Ursula asked, pointing a claw at the open skylight. “Because the last time I saw her, she was flying out of that window…”
“Oh no!” cried Elvis.
Hide-and-seek had suddenly become real…
Chapter Three
LOST GETS LOST
Of course, Lost hadn’t actually meant to fly out of the window. She had tried to hide near the window but had somehow managed to fly straight out – and, before she knew it, she was lost again.
Now the budgie was soaring over the town square, flying higher and higher above the shops and houses below.
A flock of pigeons flapped past her.
“Ahoy there, crazy bird!”
A hot-air balloon floated by…
An aeroplane roared past.
Lost was getting tired now. Slowly, slowly, her wings stopped flapping, until…
Wheeeeeeeeee!
Down, down, down she fell!
Boing … boing … bump! Flump!
Lost rubbed her head and gazed around. She had landed in a delicious-looking cake. The flock of pigeons landed nearby and started teasing her.
“What do you think you are, a racing pigeon?” “I think you need some feather implants” “Tasty landing!”
“Where am I?” Lost asked, but the pigeons just laughed. “How very RUDE!” Lost thought. “I’ll go and ask that nice-looking bird over there.” She flapped over to where the bird was perched. “Good afternoon! I’m Lost and I’m lost,” she said. “I need to find my way back to the Perfect Pet Shop – do you know where it is?”
But the bird didn’t reply. It appeared that it did not speak English. Lost tried some of the other languages she knew.
Still no answer. In fact, the bird hadn’t even moved. But Lost spoke a lot of languages and wasn’t going to give up…
Meanwhile, back in the pet shop, Itch wiped the greasy shop window with his tail and the Scruffs stared out, hoping to catch a glimpse of the troublesome budgie.
“Wait a minute! I have a sighting!” Itch barked excitedly. “One Lost Budgie, over there by the Cakes-U-Like Cafe! Um … why is she talking to that lady’s hat?”
“LOST!!” The gang jumped up and down and shouted. But Mr Straw had locked the front door and was still fast asleep. There was no way out.
“Why don’t we climb through the skylight?” suggested Slug.
“It’s too high,” groaned Gerb.
“Let’s stand on top of each other – that might do it!” cried Itch.
“Nope, this isn’t working!” said Slug, straining to reach.
Suddenly… “Oh NO! Look who’s a-coming,” Elvis gasped, sticking his tongue out in the direction of the tables and chairs.
The Cakes-U-Like Cafe’s pet, a big ginger cat called Tom, had strolled out of the shadows and had spotted poor Lost, still perched on a customer’s hat. He rubbed himself against the woman’s legs till she bent down to stroke him – and then he POUNCED!
Tom Cat missed but Lost tumbled off the brim and got tangled in a ribbon. Dangling desperately in mid-air as Tom swiped at her behind, Lost realized that she was in TROUBLE!
“Yum! Budgie a pinyata,” grinned Tom, licking his lips. He jumped up, mouth open, ready to swallow Lost in one gulp…
Chapter Four
Neeeeeooooowwwww!!!!
Suddenly, a streak of black-and-silver fluff leapt across the pet shop. Using the wobbling tower of Scruffs (“Oof!” That was Slug’s head) as a springboard, Ursula dived like a moggie ninja through the open skylight and landed neatly on tiptoe in the street outside.
In a blink she sped off in the direction of the cafe, darting between table legs to the spot where Lost was about to meet her untimely fate. She barged Tom Cat out the way, yelling, “That budgie is MINE!”
Tom Cat cowered and stalked away, muttering threats under his breath. “You’ll pay for this! Just you wait and see…”
Ursula ignored him and instead looked at Lost dangling helplessly in mid-air. For a minute she looked as though she quite fancied Lost for a snack herself.
“She’s going to eat her!” cried Gerb.
“Man, it’s going to get messy!” Elvis groaned. “I’m all shook up!”
“I can’t watch!” Slug wailed
“Calm down, everyone,” Itch said, but even he couldn’t hide his worry.
With one skilful swipe of her razor-sharp claws, Ursula cut the budgie free. Then she graciously lowered her head towards Lost.
“Hop on, little bird! I’ll take you back to the shop.”
Luckily, just then Mr Straw woke from his nap, stretched, yawned and went to open the front door for some fresh air. Ursula and Lost slipped in without him noticing they’d ever left.
The Scruffs rushed to greet them.
“Wow!” breathed Gerb. “You saved her, Ursula!”
“Preeetty impressive,” grinned Itch.
Ursula blushed and gently helped Lost off her back. “It was nothing,” she said modestly. “It’s just I could see you needed help fast, so I stepped in.”
“Thanks for saving me, Ursula.” Lost was still dazed from her experience but remembered her manners.
“With skills like that, we’d love for you to join our gang,” Itch said. “Sorry if we got off on the wrong paw earlier.”
Ursula looked stunned for a moment… Then:
“That would be amazing!” she cried. “I’ve never had any animal friends before.”
“High fives all round! Welcome to the SCRUFFS.” Itch panted. “The first rule of the Scruffs is … er, there are no rules!”
They celebrated with some old dog biscuits. Ursula was soon chatting away.
“I’m sorry if I came across as unfriendly. You see, I’ve never really met any other animals before. My previous owner was my only friend. She loved me dearly – she even had my portrait painted – but she never let me out because she didn’t want me to get lost. So I was an indoor cat and I wasn’t allowed to get dirty, or mess up my fur…” The rest of the Scruffs listened sympathetically as Ursula explained that her rich elderly owner used to groom her every day and lavish her with expensive food and gifts. But as she became too frail to look after Ursula she gave her to her nephew – who hated cats and gave her to Mr Straw.
“All I used to do every day was sit on my cushion in front of the fire watching TV,” she sighed. “I know my owner meant well but it did get a little … dull. I always wondered what it would be like to have friends and fun.”
“Well you’ve come to the right place! And without you Lost could have been … well, it doesn’t bear thinking about!
” Gerb exclaimed. “You sure showed that Tom Cat who’s boss.”
“I’m so sorry for causing so much trouble,” Lost sighed. “I just couldn’t see where I was going…”
“Hmmm,” Ursula said thoughtfully. “Do you have bad eyesight?”
“Bad eyesight?” Slug blurted in. “Lost can’t even see her own beak – can you, Lost?”
Lost nodded sadly. “It’s true.”
“I have an idea,” Ursula said. “Hang on a second.” She took an old pair of Mr Straw’s reading glasses from a shelf, fiddled with the frames for a bit, and then wrapped them around Lost’s head. “There we go! Any better?”
“GOSH!” Lost gasped “I can see… I can see! It’s a miracle.”
Ursula held up a mirror. “Look!”
“Oh, what a beautiful bird!” Lost said. “How lovely to meet you.”
“No, my dear, that’s your REFLECTION,” Ursula explained.
Everyone laughed happily as Lost looped the loop around the pet shop, admiring her surroundings as she saw everything properly for the first time. Soon, she was exhausted by the day’s excitement and landed on her perch for a nap.
The other animals all grinned at each other. Ursula had saved the day – and shown that she was a proper Scruff after all.
Chapter Five
THE DEN
Whilst Lost snored gently (yes, birds can snore) the other Scruffs were eager to give Ursula “the tour”.
