“Whoever was behind the threats kept demanding more, saying they’d slit my throat if they didn’t get what they wanted. My father eventually decided he needed to take a stand against them, so he quit paying. They didn’t like that so much…the threats just became darker and more violent in nature.”
I raised an eyebrow but kept my mouth shut.
“My father hired a private security firm to shadow me – that’s who my driver works for. I’m told they’ve foiled a few attempts on my life, so I suppose it’s good to have them around even though it makes me feel like I’m in prison.”
I stared at Hayden, wondering whether I should believe the preposterous-sounding tale.
“My father also hired private detectives to try to find out who was sending the threats, but none of their leads have ever panned out. The threats were against only me at first but then the people I was close to were also threatened. I cut ties with my friends and stopped dating so no one would be caught in the crossfire.”
Hayden ran his hand through his hair. I could see that his jaw was clenched in anger. “The threats stopped about a year ago,” he said. “Just like that, it was over. It seemed too good to be true at first. But little by little, I let my guard down. I was stupid enough to think that maybe I could lead a normal life.”
He looked at me then, and told me with sincerity, “I never would have broken my rules for you had I known. My rules are designed to keep those around me safe. My rules should have kept you safe. If we’d just had a one night stand and left it at that…” he said wistfully, trailing off. “I wanted to be with you so badly but believe me Daniella I wouldn’t have endangered you had I thought the threat still existed.”
“Was there another death threat?” I asked. I still didn’t know if I believed him but I was going to give him the benefit of the doubt for the time being. Right now, I decided, it didn’t matter what I believed. What mattered was figuring out what Hayden believed.
“Yes. That morning at your house when I stepped outside to take a phone call…that’s what it was about.”
Thinking back to that awful morning, I remembered the way Hayden’s entire demeanor had inexplicably shifted. One moment he’d been affectionate and flirtatious. The next, he’d told me he wanted nothing to do with me, making me feel worthless and insignificant. My temper flared at the recollection.
“Couldn’t you have just told me then?” I demanded. “Did you really have to be an ass about it?”
The question, of course, was intended to be rhetorical. But Hayden answered it. “Actually yes, I did,” he said. “I’ve regretted it every moment since, believe me. But I was reckless that night. I wanted to be alone with you. Normally I have a security agent either driving my limo or tailing me, but that night…I just wanted you all to myself.”
As Hayden paused with a look of melancholy on his face, I had a pretty good idea what he was recalling. That night had been perfect in every way. That night we hadn’t just shared our bodies with one another; we’d bared our souls.
“Leaving without security was stupid of me,” Hayden said bitterly. “It left me vulnerable to wire taps, surveillance – whoever we’re dealing with is sophisticated, Daniella. They must be if my father’s security team and private detectives haven’t been able to track them down. So when I found out they might be watching me or even listening in... I couldn’t let them know I cared about you. Otherwise you’d just become one more target for them to annihilate.”
“So you told me I meant nothing to you. You said I was just a conquest. You were only with me because you wanted to fuck me.”
A pained expression came across Hayden’s face. “None of it was true, of course.”
“Wasn’t it?” I said icily.
“Of course it wasn’t. I’ve spent countless nights lying awake wondering how else I could have handled that,” he told me. “Seeing the look on your face when I said those terrible things to you…God, Daniella, it killed me inside. I could barely even look at you when I left. But I couldn’t have you trying to contact me. I had to do something that would make you stay away. So I made you hate me.”
I said nothing.
“You do hate me, don’t you?” His voice was just above a whisper, hoarse and tentative.
Lowering my head, I remained silent.
“Please just know you were never a conquest to me. In the beginning I spotted you across the bar, thought you were gorgeous and wanted to talk to you,” Hayden confessed. “But I had no ulterior motive. I just wanted to spend time with you.”
He silently pleaded with me to say something, but for that very reason I stayed silent. He could abduct me and handcuff me to a bed but he couldn’t make me say or think the things he wanted. Maybe I didn’t have my freedom at that precise moment, but I sure as hell still had an ironclad will. He wasn’t going to defeat me.
When Hayden saw I was still unconvinced, he continued, “And then when I got to know you...you were so smart and interesting. You were so different from any of the other women I’ve been with. Daniella, I absolutely wanted to have sex with you but please know I wanted more than that…so much more.”
It was an interesting story but something wasn’t sitting right with me. “These death threats you say you get,” I asked, ignoring his plea, “Do they simply say ‘you’re dead’ or do they ask for something?”
“They demand the painting,” Hayden replied.
“So, uh…give it back?” That seemed super obvious, but I had to say it anyway.
“Believe me, I would if I could. It was placed in my father’s private collection in his summer home,” Hayden explained. “About six weeks after he obtained it, there was a burglary. The house was sitting empty while he travelled overseas and there was an alarm system short circuit during a power outage. During that time, someone broke in and stole the painting.”
“That’s…weird.”
“It is,” he agreed. “The whole thing is weird. Welcome to my life.”
“So you can’t go to the cops because you’d implicate yourself in a crime,” I summarized as I tried not to focus on how handsome he was even when he was upset.
“Possibly,” Hayden agreed. “I’ve spoken to lawyers. It’s questionable whether I’d be able to convince a judge or jury that I had no knowledge that the painting was stolen. It’s especially questionable since the orders came directly from my father. It doesn’t look good for me. But more importantly, if I go to the police it could put those around me in danger. It could put you in danger.”
“So what, I’m just supposed to hang out here, handcuffed to a bed in the middle of nowhere?”
He pressed his lips together, stifling a sigh. “It isn’t ideal, I know. But it’s best for us both to lie low right now, Daniella. My security team is working overtime trying to figure out the source of the threats, believe me.”
“But you said yourself they’ve been at it for ages and have nothing to show for all their investigating,” I pointed out. “I can’t stay here indefinitely, Hayden. I have a life, a career…” I cringed when I realized I hadn’t shown up for work that day. Chances were I wouldn’t have a career for much longer – but I wasn’t about to give it up without a valiant battle.
“I know I keep saying it, but I’m sorry.” He threw his hands up in the air in exasperation. “I’m sorry a thousand times over. Had I known I’d turn your life upside down I never would have gotten involved with you. I regret it more than I can tell you.”
“Oh.” I understood what Hayden was getting at, but I couldn’t help but feel like he’d just told me he regretted ever meeting me. I looked away, wishing I could cover my face before he saw the hurt in my eyes. But the handcuffs prevented that.
“Daniella…”
“I have to go to the bathroom,” I announced.
He hesitated. “If I let you up…”
“Where am I going to go?” I reasoned. “I’m in a cabin in the forest and according to you, there are two security agents outside, as well as
a forest full of bad guys who may or may not be determined to kill me. By your logic I’d be stupid to go outside, wouldn’t I?”
Although I’d tried to hide the sarcasm in my voice, I wasn’t completely successful. I knew that when Hayden looked at me sadly and said, “You don’t believe any of this, do you?”
“I believe that you believe it,” I said carefully. “But Hayden, I really have to pee!”
He sighed and pulled a key out of his shirt pocket. “Okay,” he agreed. “But Daniella, please don’t do anything reckless.”
“I won’t,” I promised as he unlocked my handcuffs. I was relieved when my wrists were freed. Although I’d fantasized about Hayden handcuffing me to a bed plenty of times, this wasn’t exactly the scenario I’d envisioned. I got up, forcing myself to move slowly so as to not startle him. He pointed me toward the bathroom wordlessly, watching me carefully for signs that I might try to flee.
I gave him none.
Slipping into the bathroom, I pretended to use the facilities, flushing the toilet as I checked out the window – too small to fit through. Then I ran the water in the sink. I splashed some of it on my face and scanned the small room for anything heavy or sharp that could be used as a weapon. Sadly, I didn’t see anything.
When I returned to Hayden, he looked relieved that I hadn’t tried to run. If only he knew how hard I’d tried to…
“Give me your wrists please,” he said, picking up the handcuffs.
“Do you really have to cuff me?” I protested. “My wrists are getting sore.” It was a lie, but I wanted to see how far I could push him. I gave a subtle bat of my long dark eyelashes for added effect, hoping it might work on him. If I was to believe him, then he still harbored feelings for me after all. That put the power back in my hands.
He surprised me by gently taking my arm in his big, masculine hand. His fingers entwined with mine. His other hand moved to my wrist and his fingers slid over my smooth skin, carefully massaging in slow, deliberate circles. “Is that better?” he asked.
“Uh…yeah,” I half-whispered. My mouth was suddenly dry. The way he was touching me reminded me of past encounters, the way his fingers had played over my most sensitive flesh, denying me before teasing a powerful climax from my oversexed body… Swallowing hard, I tried to shake those old feelings off.
“How have you been?” he asked, his eyes searching mine for answers and, perhaps, forgiveness. He wasn’t about to get the latter so easily.
Did I tell him how much he’d hurt me? Or did I lie and say I’d been just fine, like his sudden absence from my life had meant nothing at all? It was a tough call, and I hesitated. Then I blurted out, “I’m probably going to lose my job and if you keep me here any longer then I’m definitely going to lose it. I have a class to teach on Monday.”
His broad shoulders slumped forward in defeat. “I know everything I’ve told you is a lot to absorb,” he said. “But I wish you’d give it a chance to sink in before dismissing me as a delusional, lying nutcase. I can tell you don’t believe me. It’s clear you don’t appreciate just how much danger you’re in.”
“What do you want me to say?” I shrugged. “It sounds crazy, and you’re not exactly high on the list of people I trust right now.” When I saw him inhale sharply, I felt a twinge of guilt as I wondered if maybe there was an element of truth to his bizarre story. “And you’re right, it is a lot to take in,” I added in a gentler tone.
“I’m going to have to put the handcuffs back on now,” Hayden informed me as he guided my hands back toward the headboard of the four poster bed. “Tell me if they hurt, okay? I’ll adjust them for you until you’re comfortable.”
“Can’t you just do one?” I pleaded, an escape plot forming in my mind.
Appearing to hesitate for a moment, Hayden finally relented. “Okay.” He secured one of my wrists to the bed, leaving the other one free. Then he looked at me. “We have a lot of time to kill. I know how much you like to read…I brought books, if you want?”
“I didn’t know you read.”
“I don’t really. Or at least I didn’t until after I met you,” he admitted. He set a bag of books down on my lap and left me to rifle through it. “I’m going to make us something to eat,” he said before exiting the small, cozy room.
Food was the last thing on my mind, and I doubted I’d be able to concentrate on words on a page even if I wanted to read. But I obediently played along, pretending to select a book and stare at its pages as my mind raced.
I could hear the sounds of Hayden banging around in the kitchen. If I closed my eyes I was instantly transported back to the way he’d looked standing in my kitchen in his boxers with the sunlight streaming in…
Hayden returned a short while later with sandwiches. “It’s nothing fancy, I’m afraid,” he said, holding out a plate. I set the book I was holding down and gratefully took the plate, balancing it on my lap as I ate with one hand. It was a simple feta cheese and tomato sandwich but somehow even that tasted amazing. He really did have a talent when it came to preparing food.
He began to settle down on the bed next to me with his sandwich, but then he stopped and looked at me. “Is this okay?” he asked, referring to him getting on the bed next to me. “I can sit on the floor if you’d prefer.”
“Whatever,” I said nonchalantly through a mouthful of sandwich. In reality, being in bed with him again – even with our clothes on and nothing sexual happening between us – was stirring up old feelings. I felt warmth spread over my face and then down to my entire body as his arm accidentally brushed against mine.
He was the only man I’d ever been with. When we’d been together, he’d been the sort of lover most women can only dream of, considerate and passionate all at once. He’d been the perfect mix of gentle and rough, tender and demanding. Sometimes the sex wasn’t lovemaking. Often it was primal and animalistic. But there had been something special even about the carnal, no-holds-barred fucking.
Sometimes I wondered if I’d ever find another man who could awaken such intense emotions within me. No matter what my mind said, my body missed him…his touch, his lips, his cock. I wanted him.
Chapter 06
I tried to tell myself what I was going to do next was practical. It served a purpose. If it went according to plan, it would be my ticket out of there. But that wasn’t exactly the whole truth. If I was to be completely, utterly honest with myself, I just wanted to feel Hayden’s tongue explore my mouth while his fingers strummed my clit like a finely tuned instrument one last time.
“Did our time together mean anything at all to you?” I asked in a tiny voice. I told myself I was just acting, but the truth is I’ve never been that great of an actress. Though I refused to admit it even to myself, there was a part of me that desperately wanted Hayden’s reassurance.
Setting his plate down, he turned to look at me. “Daniella, I’ve cut everyone I care about out of my life. For…years now, I’ve had a lonely, isolated existence. I gave up on ever having the things other people take for granted: connections, intimacy, trust. Then I met you and it made me reconsider everything I thought I knew.”
“Why?” I wasn’t fishing for compliments. I was trying to piece together the shattered fragments of my ego. I was a strong woman. Hayden’s words that morning so long ago that somehow felt like yesterday wouldn’t destroy me. But they’d knocked me down so hard that I was still trying to catch my breath.
This was me picking myself up. With or without his validation, I’d survive. But I wanted to do more than just survive – I wanted to a reason to come alive. Don’t we all?
“You know me,” he said simply. “Maybe this sounds silly, but when we touch it’s like we can communicate without speaking a single word. When you look at me it feels like you’re inside my head, reading my thoughts.”
His gaze lingered on my lips and for a brief moment I thought he was going to kiss me. I held my breath, unsure of whether or not I wanted him to. But he didn’t. Though I tried to i
gnore it, I couldn’t deny the disappointment that caused.
“When we kiss,” he said, “it’s like you’re that part of my life – that part of me – I didn’t even realize was missing. Even just sitting with you in the mornings reading the paper…it made me feel better just knowing you were there with me. Daniella, I think about you all the time.”
The truth was I thought about him too, but I wasn’t about to say it. I didn’t consider myself to be one of those unfortunate damaged souls who are unable to be vulnerable, but I also wasn’t one to touch a hot stove after having already been burned.
My guard was up – and so was my heart rate. God, it wasn’t even a case of want anymore. I needed him…needed to feel him inside me.
I tried to convince myself that I could separate my feelings from sex. I wasn’t going to put myself in a position to let Hayden hurt me again. I couldn’t, because even the strongest foundation can only weather so many storms before it begins to crumble. And in my case, the repairs, precarious and subject to destruction, had only just begun.
“I miss you,” I told him. It wasn’t an act. It was the truth. I hated that it was the truth.
Hope flickered in his eyes. “I miss you too,” he answered at once. Looking like a man in the desert who couldn’t decide if he’d stumbled upon an oasis or was hallucinating, he asked, “Daniella, do you think you can ever forgive me?”
Averting my eyes, I swallowed hard. “Let’s not talk about that right now,” I told him. “In fact, let’s not talk at all.”
With my unrestrained hand, I pulled him in close for a kiss. I could tell he was surprised by the sudden gesture, but he didn’t resist. On the contrary, he kissed me deeply and passionately, like his life depended on it. Maybe mine did too. It felt like I’d been underwater this whole time, drowning, and his lips were oxygen.
Despite one hand being cuffed to the bed, I tore at Hayden’s white button up shirt as best I could. A couple buttons popped off in my frenzy to undress him but if he noticed he didn’t seem to mind. His tongue was too busy reuniting with mine, his hands sliding up my skirt and into my panties.
His for Now (His #2) Page 5
