Those who had to work on Christmas Day liked to make the ward experience as close to a home Christmas as possible. Matron was the first to arrive, and then came Father Christmas, pushing Tappsy in her bed across the landing. Even Matron commented on how well she seemed.
‘Well hello, all of you,’ Tappsy called out. Her voice was thready, but her enthusiasm carried her words all the way into the office from the doorway. The nurses stopped mid conversation and their faces lifted in delight at the sight of Sister Tapps sitting up against her pillow, her hair pushed back and her eyes bright. Her face was painfully thin and drawn, but it didn’t seem to matter, the energy within shone out and was like a magnet to the nurses. Forgetting sister–nurse protocol, they rushed to the side of her bed and took it in turns to plant kisses on her cheek and to call out, ‘Merry Christmas, Sister Tapps.’
Aileen wanted to throw her arms around her and hug her, but she was too frail, so like everyone else she kissed her on her cheek and said, ‘Look!’ as she took a handkerchief out of her pocket. ‘I opened your present before I came to work and it’s lovely. And do you know, Father Christmas came here for you too – there’s a stack of presents for you under the tree.’
Sister Tapps smiled like a child as she clasped her hands and said, ‘No! Surely not for me?’
Aileen’s heart constricted at the reminder that Tappsy was someone used to giving but not receiving. There were no relatives at her bedside – her St Angelus colleagues were the closest she had to family.
The morning passed in a haze of cheeriness and not a single person shed a tear or allowed a frown to cross their face. Matron didn’t leave Tappsy’s side and Emily Haycock arrived to help. Even the children commented on how much Father Christmas liked Sister Haycock.
They were all amazed at how much of her Christmas dinner Sister Tapps managed. ‘I chopped up a roast potato and she even ate that,’ said Matron to Emily. Straight after lunch, the ward began to fill with visitors and Sister Tapps found it within herself to refuse to return to ward four.
‘Is Sister Tapps getting better now?’ a young nurse infected with the informality of the day piped up as she came in to change the water jugs. The question played on everyone’s mind. Even Matron, impressed and inspired by Tappsy’s revival, wondered if that might be possible.
It became obvious halfway through visiting, however, as Tappsy began to close her eyes, that it was now time to take her back to ward four. ‘She needs to sleep,’ said Matron. ‘I can’t believe how she’s kept going. I’m going to freshen her up and give her some painkillers.’
‘Did you find the niece and nephew?’
‘We didn’t,’ said Aileen. ‘Doreen and the police did their best, but we didn’t even have a surname.’
At that very moment the ward doors opened. Everyone stopped what they were doing at the sight of Biddy standing in the doorway with a young woman at her side. Matron had no idea who she was. No one did. But Tappsy put them right. She opened her eyes and her face shone with love as she called out the name. ‘Laura! My Laura!’
*
Aileen had handed over ward three and all her charges and responsibilities to the night staff nurse and although the day had been filled with much laughter and jollity, she was delighted and relieved to hear the sound of the ward doors closing behind her. Now she was free.
Her heart skipped a beat and her face lit up at the sight of Freddie sitting on the wooden bench, no longer in his uniform but smart in a shirt and jacket.
‘Are you sure you want to do this?’ he asked as he sprang to his feet. After what had happened to Louis, he was far too nervous now to even touch her when she was in uniform.
‘I am, but we just have to do something first, one last little job. Can you come with me?’
Five minutes later, Freddie was heading across to ward four carrying the heavy record player in his arms.
‘She’s asked to hear “Silent Night” sung again and we have it on the record, so I asked the parents today and they were more than happy for us to take it over to Tappsy. I can just pop across and say goodnight to Matron at the same time.’ Aileen opened the doors to ward four and held them in place with her back to allow Freddie to pass though.
‘Is Matron spending all night here?’ he asked.
‘Yes. She’s made it all so cosy. Dessie and the porter’s lads carried Matron’s armchair and sofa down, along with the Christmas tree from her apartment, when we moved Sister Tapps on to ward four. The night nurse reported over there for duty, but Matron sent her away to ward three.’
‘Shall I come with you?’
Aileen thought for a moment. ‘Yes, why not. I think it might please Matron, and I need you to carry the record player down to the bay at the bottom anyway.’
She was surprised to see Matron in her armchair reading by the fire and not at Tappsy’s side. The young woman, Laura Thomas, was on the bed next to Tappsy with her arm around her shoulders. She appeared to be talking to her.
Aileen gestured for Freddie to follow her and, smiling at Laura as she looked up, she tiptoed over to Matron. The ward was dark, but the lamp at Matron’s side gave out a welcoming glow and the fire in the grate was crackling brightly, its flames reflected prettily in the lights on the Christmas tree.
‘I’ve just popped over to say goodnight. Is there anything I can get or do for you?’
Matron almost ignored Aileen and looked straight at Freddie. ‘Hello, young man,’ she said. ‘What a nice surprise. Merry Christmas to you.’
Freddie had removed his cap and holding it to his chest said, ‘Merry Christmas, Matron.’
Turning to Aileen, Matron said, ‘I’m fine here. I have everything I could possibly need. Have you seen that table? Between Branna, Biddy and Elsie, they’ve left me enough food to feed an army. Night Sister is popping in when she’s finished her rounds to have supper with me, so I’ll have company, don’t worry about me. I’m not sure what time Laura over there will be leaving. They seem to have a lot to talk about. I’m utterly amazed at Sister Tapps – she hasn’t stopped talking for hours, it seems, and it’s as if they’ve never been apart – very odd.’
They all looked over to the bed. The overhead light threw an orange halo over Tappsy. Laura was mostly in the shade and Tappsy was nestled into the crook of her arm, staring into the fire as she spoke and holding a cup of tea in her hand. Aileen felt something wash through her, an emotion that moved her to tears. How she wished she’d known a mother’s true love. She felt more like a servant than a daughter and it was only now, looking at Laura, that this came home to her.
‘Do you know, Matron, I think she’s had a lovely Christmas. I know that might be an odd thing to say, but look how happy she is.’
Matron gave a deep sigh. ‘She really has and I think we can all be pleased with ourselves tonight for that and for the fact that all the patients on all the wards have had a lovely day. It has been a job well done. Oh! I forgot to tell you all yesterday, what with the excitement of Christmas Eve – I had a phone call from the Nursing Times, and guess what…?’
Aileen looked at her quizzically.
‘We won the decorating competition! The lady who phoned said that it was quite clear from when she came round and judged it that the decorating had been done in the most collaborative way, and that’s what swung it, apparently. She made special mention of how it was so heartwarming that the decorations had been made by “the community” – she meant the domestics, I think, and Mrs Tanner. All those golden stars they cut out and covered in glitter.’ She beamed. ‘Isn’t that a lovely result, Sister Paige. And for your first Christmas as ward sister too. Do be sure to tell the others if you see them before I do.’
Aileen beamed back at her. Matron was right: winning the competition really was the icing on the cake. It felt like a good omen. Next year things were going to go right for her, she was sure.
‘Are you off home?’ Matron asked.
‘Not yet, Matron. One more visit downstairs first. Let m
e show you how to work the record player.’
Ten minutes later, as the voices of the King’s College Choir filled the ward, Matron looked at Aileen and Freddie and said, ‘Whatever next! I mean, look at the size of it, only half the width of my desk. It’s a strange world now with all these new-fangled gadgets.’
‘We have to go down to Mother,’ said Aileen.
Matron raised one eyebrow. ‘Ah, well, good luck with that. See you in a couple of days. If Sister Tapps is in the same spirits tomorrow, I might even put her in a wheelchair and take her for a spin outside.’
*
Five minutes later, Aileen and Freddie walked into ward one. Aileen called in to the office first, where the night staff nurse was filling in the charts. ‘How has she been?’ she asked.
‘Well, she could hear all the high jinks upstairs – we all could – and obviously she knew you were busy and couldn’t come down, but I think you might find a change in your mother. I certainly have. I think Matron knew exactly what she was doing bringing her in for observation. You may find you’re a little more appreciated when she returns home.’
Aileen didn’t feel as confident as the night nurse sounded.
As they approached Mrs Paige’s bed, they could see her lying there, awake, staring into the middle distance. Aileen’s heart crunched. Her mother looked sad and childlike. As her gaze rested on Aileen, a smile slowly spread across her face and she sat upright in the bed.
‘Aileen – at last. I thought you weren’t coming.’ She gave Freddie a glance and asked, ‘Who is this?’ But there was no malice in her voice and Aileen guessed she knew who he was.
‘This is Freddie, Mother.’
Before she could say any more, Freddie picked up Aileen’s hand and finished her sentence for her. ‘And your daughter, Mrs Paige, is very important to me.’
They spent half an hour sitting by her mother’s bedside, and the whole time they were there Aileen’s heart soared. She barely spoke, just watched how Freddie used all the skills he possessed to start her mother eating out of his hand.
As they left the ward and ran down the main steps of St Angelus, Freddie said, ‘She’s not a bad old stick. If I had to put money on it, I’d say she missed your father. She mentioned him a lot just then.’ He took Aileen’s arm and slipped it through his.
‘You have no idea how much she gave my father the runaround,’ said Aileen, almost snorting with disgust.
‘And you probably have no idea how much he let her.’
Aileen came to a sudden standstill. ‘I never thought of that,’ she said, taking in his cheeky grin and feeling a sudden rush of happiness.
The snow had covered the black cinder surface of the car park with a dusting of white and the cloud was heavy and low, promising more snow. There was not a star to be seen in the sky. The buildings of St Angelus were the darkest red behind them and in the bay window of Aileen’s ward the Christmas tree blazed. It occurred to Aileen that everywhere was silent. There was no traffic, no buses, no people scurrying past. It was Christmas night, a silent night.
‘Why aren’t you staying in the hospital tonight?’ asked Freddie as he unlocked the car door with his key. Aileen noticed that his cap was now white and snowflakes rested on his eyelashes, dropping to his cheeks as he spoke.
‘It’s Christmas, I want to go home. Would you like to have supper with me? I told Branna I would be coming home and she said Gina would lay up a supper, even though she’s meant to be off over the holidays. I’m sure we can make it stretch to two – she always leaves me a huge amount, and anyway, I have a feeling Gina will assume I won’t be eating alone if I’m coming home. I’m not at work tomorrow, it’s my day off.’
Freddie grinned. ‘Same here.’ He could resist no longer. She might be in uniform, but they were not on the ward, and besides, how could he let this moment pass. This magical moment on Christmas night, with snowflakes and Christmas lights and the sparkling brightness of Aileen’s eyes burning brightly up at him. He placed his hand under her chin, but she needed no encouragement. Their lips were drawn to each other’s and as they clung together, the warmth of their bodies kept the cold of the night at bay.
‘Come on,’ he said, his voice deep and thick. ‘Home it is then.’ He opened the passenger door for her.
Aileen slipped on to the leather seat and through the window saw out of the corner of her eye a young man in army uniform, at the base of the wall. He was no stranger to her. As Freddie walked around the car to the driver’s door, she watched the young soldier slip away into the shadows. She had seen him before at the important moments in her life – when she was made a Sister, when she passed her finals – but she sensed that this time would be the last. Her heart ached as she wiped the tear from her eye and she almost jumped in fright as Freddie flopped into the driver’s seat. He leant over and kissed her, his lips cool, his face wet with melted snowflakes.
‘Are you ready?’ he asked as he brushed the snow-dampened hair off her face.
‘I am,’ she said. ‘I really am.’ She looked into the eyes of Freddie, to the now, to her future, and without a backwards glance let David go.
*
Up on ward four, Night Sister had arrived. She was lifting the damp tea towels and examining the food that had been left for her and Matron to enjoy for supper. Matron walked back from the bay window. She’d seen Aileen and Freddie and had stepped away from the window, embarrassed but happy for Aileen.
‘Is the weather any worse?’ asked Sister.
Matron looked wistful. ‘It is, but really it’s not at all bad out there tonight.’
‘Doesn’t she look happy,’ said Night Sister, nodding over at Tappsy as she bit on a sausage roll she’d taken from the table.
Matron also looked over and smiled. ‘She does. You should have seen her opening her presents – like a child herself, she was. It was wonderful. At one point there was Father Christmas, also known as Dessie Horton, sat on the foot of her bed, and she had little Angela Doherty almost in bed with her all morning and then Kitty and the Doherty parents brought in a huge bag of presents for Tappsy from half the families in the dockside streets. Honestly, I didn’t know when it was going to end. Fancy that, though. And look at the cards, many of them homemade by one child or another.’ She pointed to a pile of cards alongside a half-wrapped tin of talcum powder, some gardenia soap, a pair of knitted gloves, a jigsaw and lots of sweets.
‘Is the girl, Laura, staying with her? She’s the one all the trouble was about, isn’t she?’ Night Sister had dropped her voice to a whisper so as not to be overheard.
‘Yes, she is, but I’m glad of her now. Look at them. But, no, she’s not staying overnight. Besides, Sister Tapps needs her sleep. I’ve rung Laura’s father. He’s coming to collect her and then he’s bringing her back in the morning. Apparently the mother walked out years ago, and it seems the father’s not as bad as we thought.’
They watched as Laura bent over to kiss Tappsy goodbye. The love that bound them together was apparent to all. She tiptoed over to Matron. ‘I’ll wait outside, Matron, for my father. I’ll be back by eight in the morning. I don’t want to keep her from her sleep.’
‘We can’t thank you enough for coming,’ said Matron.
‘Oh, not at all. When Biddy asked me, I didn’t hesitate. Sister Tapps was my mother for more than two years when I was very sick. The worst two years of my life, but also the best in a way. She was the only woman ever to show me any affection. I thought about her all the time, but I never felt that I could turn up unannounced, I suppose. And besides, I wasn’t even sure she would remember me. Honestly, I’ve thought about her every single day. You did me the favour, not the other way round.’
Matron looked at her as she spoke. She wanted to explain that there weren’t many days left, but she decided that could wait for the morning. She didn’t want to spoil such a magical night.
She saw Laura down the stairs and when she returned she said to Night Sister, ‘Come on, let’s do her bac
k and bed and make her comfortable. I can give her her diamorphine and then we can have our supper and know she’s comfortable.’
‘I’ve already got the trolley ready,’ said Night Sister. ‘I’ll be honest, I haven’t spoken to her yet, but I saw the light fade when you and Laura left the ward.’
The two senior women, unused to carrying out basic nursing chores, laughed at the things they’d forgotten as they went to collect the trolley and a bedpan from the sluice.
‘How are you, Sister Tapps?’ said Night Sister in the most gentle of voices as they approached the bed and the pool of orange light.
Sister Tapps was quiet, looking down at her hands, but she perked up as they approached. ‘Oh, I’m doing just grand, and would you look at this, Matron herself and the most senior night sister looking after me! I’ll be back on me feet in no time at all after all this fuss, and you know, I don’t deserve it. I really don’t. Now, I don’t want to be any trouble to you, go and have your supper. Leave me be, there’s nothing wrong with me, I’m fine.’
‘You are no trouble at all,’ Night Sister replied and she and Matron exchanged glances.
Much to Sister’s surprise, Matron said, ‘Oh, seriously, to hell with it,’ and plonked herself down on the side of the bed. Night Sister gasped. Matron looked at her sternly and then at Tappsy. ‘If either of you tell a single living nurse in this hospital that I sat on the bed, so help me God, I’ll haunt the life out of the both of you when my time comes.’
They all three began to laugh and Matron turned and rested against Tappsy’s pillow. The night light on the wall above illuminated her face as she took Tappsy’s hand. She looked across at her with so much affection, Night Sister felt a lump form in her throat. Tappsy grinned and squeezed her hand back.
‘Did you enjoy seeing Laura?’
Tappsy’s eyes swam with tears. ‘Oh, can you imagine how that happened? That she just turned up here out of the blue? She must have missed me as much as I did her, you know.’
Matron didn’t answer but simply nodded and squeezed her hand again.
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