“Syl, easy with the word stupid,” Egg corrected her daughter. “Find a more descriptive adjective.”
“But stupid is perfect.”
The always ‘way-too-helpful’ Ellie suggested, “How about, ‘My idea was imprudent and ill-conceived while your mendaciousness proved to be childishly effective?”
“Mom, make her talk like a normal person,” pleaded the younger girl.
“I’ll do a lot more than that if she doesn’t get over here and give me a hug.”
“Oh, alright. But it’s only because I’m feeling particularly benevolent and somewhat predisposed to a display of my affection.”
Syl’kie rolled her eyes and made the face of someone in the process of vomiting both her lunch and dinner - but moved out of the way so Ellie could take a turn with their mother.
Ellie gave her mom the same warm embrace that her sister had given. After a few moments, she pulled back and asked, “Why can’t you just send that big blue cockatoo in your place the next time there’s a diplomatic crisis?”
“Who you calling a cockatoo?” demanded Rap’tor who was still ushering out the last of the citizens. Since this wasn’t the first time Ellie had used that description, the dragon had looked up the reference and eeked a belly laugh when he found an image of the fearsome Earth critter . . .
He was overly fond of his little princesses. For humans, they could be quite amusing. ‘On occasion’, he corrected himself.
“You weren’t supposed to hear that.”
“Apology accepted.”
That elicited a giggle from Syl’kie. “You’re more of a pterodactyl but I’m not allow to say that.”
“Why not?” The dragon had a casual interest in prehistoric earth creatures (specifically from the Jurassic period thinking that there might be a common ancestry with his kind and dinosaurs) and considered the reference almost a compliment.
“Ellie says I can’t use any word I can’t spell.”
“And you always do what your sister tells you.” It wasn’t a question. In fact, Rap’tor knew that Egg worried about how much her younger daughter acted subservient to her older sister.
Syl’kie frowned as she stole a glance at her sibling. “She’s the smart one.” The Brain responded by giving Rap’tor a smug, knowing look.
“Need I remind you that your Aunt Sylvia is considered more intelligent than your mother, but it is my Queen that has achieved immortality?” Syl was Egg’s best friend and Feminion.
“It’s common knowledge that behind every person that history thinks is great, stands the person that actually made them so,” Ellie patiently explained to the others as if she were talking to children.
Before Rap’tor could take her down a peg or three, Egg interceded. “Enough. You two can continue this argument another time. Right now, I want my wonderful daughters to follow me. I have a belated birthday party to attend.”
“Will there be gifts?” asked Syl’kie.
Ellie answered for her mother. “With all the guilt she’s feeling, there will definitely be gifts. A lot of gifts.”
“You definitely have inherited your father’s family traits, missy. I believe you are acquainted with the stories of . . .”
“Yes, yes. Rose’Alynnia, my dear grandmother, was a rambunctious rebel without a cause . . . until Mobius gave her one. And my Aunt Meggy was a first-class royal brat . . . until Grammy Eloise, Aunt Syl and you made her see the error of her ways. Bo-ring as my kid sister would so loutishly proclaim.”
Syl’kie turned to Rap’tor and asked what loutishly meant. “Not a compliment” he replied.
The girl shrugged. “Figures.”
“Rap’tor, my friend, what would a dragon parent do if they had a child like my darling Ellie Rose?” asked Egg only partly kidding. She was at a loss as to how to modify her eldest daughter’s behavior. Obnoxiousness was not an endearing quality even if it was done innocently and without malice. The girl was so ridiculous intelligent that she could out-think virtually everyone. Since she considered no one her equal (three of her aunts, she admitted, were – but only on occasion), she was either dismissive of these lesser mortals or overly pedantic in her dealings with them. Unfortunately, her massive intelligence was leap years ahead of her nascent empathy development.
She just needed time to grow up.
Or, as her father suggested in jest (or so he claimed), a year at hard labor followed by a year of solitary confinement could speed things along.
In truth, Egg was just as worried about Syl’kie. The younger girl idolized her older sister and would do anything to win her sister’s praise. She had yet to show the traits of leadership and independent thinking that the next leader of the Hameggattic Sisterhood required.
Her momentary ‘wool gathering’ was interrupted by Rap’tor answering her question.
“First, no dragon child would ever display such . . .” he hesitated to find a diplomatic way of stating the obvious. “. . . display such unique attributes which other lesser beings might find difficult to appreciate.”
Egg laughed at that well-crafted response. “You’d make a great used car salesman. Go ahead and finish.”
“I’ll have to assume that being a good used car salesman, whatever that might be, is a compliment. Regardless, to finish my thought, if a dragon child did display such traits as our beloved Princess, the parents would divorce and they would fight to see who would be forced to gain custody of the child.”
“Liar.”
“Sorry, Egg. I got nothing.” The longer he was around his friend, the more he picked up her phraseology.
“That makes two of us.”
“Mother, I truly have no idea what you are referring to.”
“And that’s the problem. Come on, let’s go find your father and do a little celebrating.”
“And then we get the gifts?” asked the younger girl who acted much more like a . . . well, like a younger girl.
“I have just one gift each. But . . . they’ll definitely knock your socks off.”
Syl’kie looked at her older sister and shrugged a “what does that mean” question.
“She thinks that the gifts are so awesome that we’ll forgive her for just giving us one each.”
“Oh. Cool.”
Ellie groaned. “Don’t be a colossal amalgamation of hyper-dense quarks. Neither your socks nor mine are going anywhere.”
“We’ll see,” answered Egg who had stopped trying to correct her older daughter’s attitude every time the girl spoke. After approximately a million times, it had lost all meaning. “Rap’tor, I’ll see you bright and early tomorrow.”
“Of course. And Egg . . . good luck.”
“Sadly, on this issue, my luck ran out.” Egg, for her whole life, had a streak of luck that defied probability. She had learned to accept the gift even if she couldn’t explain it. Apparently, however, the Law of Averages was catching up to her.
*****
It was just the immediate family since everyone else had already celebrated the twins’ birthday on their actual day of birth.
They were seated at the table finishing up the last of their meal. Normally, the Queen’s wait-staff would come in to clear the table and bring in the cake. But not tonight. Egg had told her husband of her decision.
“May I ask why not?”
“Benny, maybe if we acted like normal people, our kids would be normal.”
“You refer to our eldest daughter, I presume.” It wasn’t a question.
“I’m trying everything I can think of to make her see that she can’t hold herself above everyone. She needs to learn how her ‘helpful explanations of everything’ (Egg actually did air quotes) comes across as irritating condescension. If you have any better suggestions, I’m listening.”
“You summarily rejected hard labor and solitary confinement. Can I convince you to reconsider?”
“You are such a goof. No, I won’t reconsider. Well, not yet anyway.”
“Then the Wait-Staff sha
ll have the night off. I volunteer to wash the dishes, if you will be so kind as to dry.”
“No, no. The girls will do everything.”
Benny smiled and cleared his throat. In a voice meant to imitate his daughter he said, “Must I remind you two dotty, old people whose birthday we are celebrating? It is customary on at least fifty-three worlds that the object of such celebrations – namely my sister and I - should be waited upon hand and foot. So, please serve the meal as quickly and efficiently as you can. I am beyond starved.”
Egg burst out laughing then threw her arms around her husband. She kissed him then asked, “How could we two delightful people have created such a monster?” She didn’t really consider the girl a monster. Other than her immaturity in handling her huge intellect, she was as wonderful a daughter as could be hoped for. In reality, most people didn’t find her as annoying as her parents who held the girl to a much higher standard.
“I take exception with such a description. Ellie Rose is no monster – more of a challenge bestowed upon us by a wickedly vengeful universe unhappy with your run of good luck.”
“Hey, are you blaming me?”
“Blame is such a harsh term.”
Egg waited for him to finish his thought.
Apparently, he had.
*****
“Okay, ladies. If you would be so kind as to clear the dishes then bring in the cake and ice cream.” Benny said it calmly but was preparing for the worse from his eldest.
Ellie stood up and glared at her father. “This is outrageous.”
“Come on, Ellie,” pleaded her sister who hated conflict. “It’ll only take a minute.”
“It’s the principle not the physical exertion that’s important.”
Syl’kie dropped her head in frustration. “I can do this myself. You sit.”
“Not happening,” said Egg sternly. “Ellie Rose, listen to me very carefully. You have the right to disagree with your parents. BUT – you may never disobey them. Do. You. Understand?”
The girl was about to lecture her mother about free will or some such nonsense but Benny cut her off before she uttered a word. “Daughter, your response will be one word - either yes or no.”
Ellie glared for another few seconds just to score a small victory (at least in her mind). “Yes.”
“How wonderful,” said Benny way too cheerfully. “Now, please hurry. The ice cream is probably beginning to melt.”
The girls gathered the dishes – Ellie doing it way too noisily – and left the room.
“I’m exhausted,” Egg told her husband.
“It was a long trip.”
“No, not the trip. It’s my daughter. But . . .” and Egg looked around to make sure the girls hadn’t returned. “Tonight may just be a turning point in this on-going battle of wits.”
“I thought you were ‘at wits end” he said trying to be witty.
“Cute. Anyway, if I’m any judge of my little darling, her gift may just cause her to rethink a thing or two.”
*****
Without being asked, the girls cleared away the dessert dishes and came back in. Syl’kie wore a big smile in anticipation of her gift while Ellie kept her face neutral . . . only because she, too, was excited and didn’t want to give her parents the satisfaction of knowing it.
“Thank you, girls. So, who wants their gift first?”
Syl’kie glanced at her sister who gave her a slight nod. “Thank you. Me, Mom, me.” Her enthusiasm was infectious causing even her sibling to smile.
“Okay. Come over here,” and the young girl stood and went over to her mother. Egg took something out of a small box and affixed it to the belt on the Flying Suit. “In all honesty, Aunt K’ssss gave me this years ago and I put it away and completely forgot about it. I think you might like it.”
The girl was confused. “Like what?”
“What’s your favorite color?”
“Blue. You know that.”
“Then touch the crystal I put on your belt, close your eyes and think blue.”
Syl’kie was completely trusting. “Okay” and she did.
“Now open them and look at your Flying Suit.”
The girl did as she was told and her mouth dropped open. “Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh, it’s blue. It’s blue and it’s beautiful.”
“Whatever color you want as long as you can imagine it.”
Syl’kie flew (figuratively this time) into her mom’s arms. “Thank you, thank you, thank you. This is so cool.” She involuntarily turned to her sister for approval.
“Oh, please.”
Syl’kie was crestfallen. “What?”
“Your suit is made from serpents’ crystals. That thing Mom gave you – it just programs the crystals with the color in the electromagnetic spectrum not to absorb. That becomes the color we see.”
Syl’kie had no idea what that meant. “What’s the difference?”
Benny cleared his throat and Ellie glanced at him. The look on his face spoke volumes. She turned back to her sister. “I’m sorry. I was just explaining the science. You’re right – that’s really, really cool. I love that shade of blue.”
Syl’kie smiled from ear to ear. “It’s pretty, isn’t it?’
“Very.” Ellie then glanced back to her father. His subtle smile meant she had ‘done good’.
“Okay, Mom. It’s Ellie’s turn.”
“Just one thing. Ellie, K’ssss told me to give you a message. She wouldn’t explain what it meant.”
“What message?”
“It’s about the gift I just gave your sister. K’ssss said, and I quote, “Gek’a-rate it.”
“Decorate it?”
“No. Gek’a-rate it? That’s what she said. Any idea what she meant?”
Ellie gave that some thought. Then she gasped. “Wow.”
“Don’t leave us mere mortals in suspense,” said her father. “What is the meaning of the message?”
“Aunt I’za, our resident Gek’a, can disappear by blending into whatever background she’s in. If I modify that crystal, I can do the same for Syl’s suit.”
“You can make me invisible?” The girl’s eyes were very wide.
“Well, I’ll have to give it some thought. But . . . theoretically, yes.”
“Cool.”
“Indeed,” confirmed Benny. “It could prove to be very useful.”
“Okay, let’s go into the private throne room. That’s where your gift is.” They got up and followed Egg. She opened the door . . . then turned on the light to illuminate the gift.
The girls stared at the . . . well, at the thing.
Ellie ambled up to the contraption and walked around it . . . her fingers touching the surface as she examined it.
“Okay, miss know-it-all, tell me what it is,” teased her mother.
“It appears to be a manned capsule. If it is, it obviously holds at least two. No seams that I can see so it’s probably waterproof, airtight and can be pressurized. My guess it has anti-grav tech. It has a limited amount of propulsion – probably for in-planet use as opposed to deep space. Extensive array of external sensors and cameras. No offensive armament that I can see but I’d bet there’s some defensive ones.”
“Mom, is she right? She isn’t, is she?”
“Syl, is your sister ever wrong?”
“No”. That was said with a mixture of pride and annoyance.
“Well, Daughter. Do you like it?”
“It’s an impressive bit of engineering. What am I supposed to do with it?”
Egg grinned. “When you use your space tunnel to explore the universe, your dad and I would feel better if you went in this thing. You and your sister would have a safe environment until you determined if the conditions were, or were not, hostile.”
To those words, Syl’kie’s eyes went wide while her sister went white in the face.
“Nothing to say?” asked Egg innocently.
“How did you know about the tunnel?”
“You mean the o
ne with that gizmo which can detect planets?”
Ellie’s mouth opened but nothing came out.
“Nothing to say?” her mother asked again.
Ellie regained her equilibrium. “No one knows about that.”
“Obviously not true. I decided to visit your lab and I asked your three aunts to come with me so they could explain whatever we might find in there.”
“You went into MY lab?”
“I’m your mommy. If that’s not enough, I’m also the Queen.”
“But . . . but how did you get in?” Her security system was full proof.
Egg’s response caused Syl’kie to fall to the ground – laughing so hard she wet herself. As for Ellie Rose – the girl screamed in shock and frustration.
The Queen of Aerianna’s response . . . was to stick out her tongue.
Chapter 2 – Stupid is as Stupid Does
“How?” demanded Ellie Rose.
“How what?”
“How did you figure it out? Was it Aunt K’ssss? It was, wasn’t it?”
“What makes you think it wasn’t me?” asked Egg trying to ‘egg on’ her daughter.
“Oh, please. I love you to death but you’re not known for your scientific or engineering expertise.”
Egg laughed. “True dat.”
“So spill it. How?”
Her mother just stared at her. As the seconds ticked on, Syl’kie whispered to her sister, “Say please.”
“What? Oh, right. Please, Mom . . . how did you do it?”
“Much better. Maybe your younger sister needs to be YOUR Feminion.”
“I think we’re very comfortable in our current roles.” She glanced at Syl’kie who smiled back.
“Your choice. Anyway, when you tapped into the black hole energy source, you did it without permission. It didn’t go unnoticed.”
“That’s not possible. I recalibrated the equipment to offset the loss with a false reading.”
“Just your bad luck that Aunt Jax’x had that equipment upgraded. That’s when they noticed the drain. They reported it to her since she’s the head of the Institute. Didn’t take long to trace it back to your lab.”
P'yxx - Syl'kie and Ellie Rose's 1st adventure [an Egg and the Hameggattic Sisterhood spin-off series] Page 2
