by J. M. Witt
“Well, that might have been something to know before I, err, did whom I did.” She shrugged her shoulders as we laughed. “Live and learn I guess.”
“Right-O.”
We were playing Texas hold-em and Delaney was out of cash. She upped the ante and started propositioning Smith. “I don’t know why you bother. You can have me any way you want me. You know that Laney!” It was the first time I remember him referring to her as Laney and not Delaney.
Smith folded and so did James, I had been out long before that. Delaney pulled what was left of the pot to her side of the table, the smile of victory all over her face, as James dealt another hand.
I had two queens in my hand, with another queen and a pair of sevens in the flop. Full house, queens high! James and I were the only ones left and we both raised until I was out of chips.
“You raising or calling?” His green gaze gave nothing away.
My cards covered my mouth as I attempted to return his icy stare. “We could always make it a little more interesting.” His eyes got big for a split second as Delaney suppressed a chuckle. Smith pushed himself back in his chair and got comfortable, awaiting the show.
“How so?” He was challenging me and I debated about how far I was willing to take it.
I focused on the friends on each side of me, my man across from me deciding distraction was my best tactic. I grabbed my phone, leisurely scrolled through it and put on Eyes On Fire by Blue Foundation.
“You’re stalling. Not confident?”
“Oh, baby, I’m confident.” I wanted to see if he really did learn to listen to the lyrics. He’d left me wanting more all week, it was my turn.
Smith was grinning from ear to ear, “This just got very interesting. Fair warning, Cass. He’s a sore loser.”
“Hmm…sore is just what I had in mind.” I looked him dead in the eyes as he fought the smile trying to break across his supple lips.
“I’m waiting. Bet away, Blackbird. You can’t scare me.”
Even then, I couldn’t believe I was about to do it. He’d let a secret escape without meaning to and it was one of few things I remembered from that night. “If I win,” I looked to Smith, Delaney and back to him, “I get to be the first…”
“Honey, I don’t have any ‘firsts’ left.” He let his man-bun down and ran his fingers through his hair. It was his turn to distract me.
“I wasn’t finished.” He leaned back in his chair and waved his hand at me. “I get to be the first to tie you up.”
The room went silent, only the song filling the air. My cheeks were burning and I could see Smith and Delaney staring us both down, waiting to see what his response would be. He’d said that night at the cabin he’d never been tied up. I played my ‘ace’ so to say and waited for his move. He looked at his cards again, examining them, the river and me keenly.
“I’m waiting, JB3. Or should I call you Beast?”
Delaney was ready to fall over with laughter as Smith concluded, “She’s beat you at your own game, Benedict. You either lied that night and confess to that now, or raise the stakes.”
“I don’t need your help, Smith.” He looked to Delaney as she gave him the bird when he told her to zip it. “I accept your bet, on one condition.”
“What’s that, because I fully intend to see this through, tonight.”
He leaned over the table and brought his mouth to my ear so only I could hear. Breathing heavily against my neck, a chill ran down my back. He whispered, “You can’t have sex with me. Doctor’s orders.” He sat back down and smiled at me.
“Oh, I didn’t have any intention of doing that.” He licked his lips as I smirked at him. “So, you’re accepting defeat? There’s nothing you want from me if you win?”
Delaney and Smith looked like bobble heads as they watched us play out our game. “If I win, we shred the divorce papers and have a proper wedding.” My heart stopped as I felt like I was about to suffocate. “One you deserve.”
“Oh, snap.” I darted my eyes to Delaney who mumbled, “Sorry. I’ll hush.”
My brain started firing off and I couldn’t stop it. Did he know he had a winning hand or a losing hand? Was he fucking with me? What the FUCK? I pictured myself walking down the aisle in a white ball gown. Knock it off, Cassidy. Was he just offering something he knew he couldn’t give me?
“Breathe, Cassidy.”
I took in a breath as Delaney handed me my water. I took a swig and pushed my crazy thoughts aside. “Accepted. Show ‘em.”
“Ladies first.”
Damn him! “You’re a jerk.” I laid my cards down and wondered who I wanted to win more. Who did he want to win?
“Boom! Full house, Benedict.”
James looked at the cards I laid down and dropped his, face down, to the table. “Congrats. You win.”
“Ahhhhaaaahhhaaaa!” I stood up and did a little dance. “I win!” Smith was laughing at me as Delaney swiped James’ cards and looked at them. She gave him an odd look as I asked, “What is it?”
She threw the cards in the pile and said, “Nothing. You won. Nicely played.” She turned her eyes back to him, “Time to pay up, James.” I continued dancing around the table like a jerk, boasting in my glory.
“Well, I’d say it’s time for us to leave.” I frowned at Smith as he and Delaney gathered their belongings. He looked to James and said, “Have fun, brother.” James just nodded at him as we walked them out.
“Call me!”
“Will do, Laney.” She winked and then slid on to the back of Smith’s bike, latching her arms around him.
Walking back inside, James headed straight to the table and put the deck of cards away. I watched him clean as I debated my next move. Could I really tie him up and not have sex with him? Probably not. Maybe he really was leery of the whole thing. I was an ass.
“Hey, I’m sorry. If it’s a hard limit for you, I’ll take it back.”
He stood to his full height and turned to gaze at me. Slowly, he closed the distance between the two of us as I became increasingly more nervous. What had I done? His hands each circled a wrist and pulled my arms behind my back as he leaned into me. Hovering over me, I closed my eyes as his facial hair tickled the delicate skin of my neck. His lips circled my ear and pulled gently as I dropped my head against his chest, trying to stop myself from falling over.
“It is a hard limit for me.” It took longer than it should have for his words to register with me. “I want you so fucking bad.”
“James, I don’t have to tie you up.” Panting, “Oh, God, you have to stop that.” He was biting and sucking on my neck and released my wrists only to hold them with one hand while his other grabbed my ass and pushed down between the back of my legs.
We both moaned as he rubbed my wet panties with his broad fingers. As I cried out, his mouth seized mine as he released my hands and turned me around. He maneuvered us to the wall and pressed me up alongside it. My breasts heaved against the wall as his hands rubbed over my torso.
“James, please. Make me come.”
“No sex, Blackbird.”
I almost started sobbing in my body’s desperate need of him. My voice cracked, “I, no, I can’t do it. It’s torture.” He stopped what he was doing and turned me to face him.
“Can’t do what?”
“I can’t wait. I, I...” I suddenly became unsure if I should tell him what it was I wanted. “I’m not as strong as you.”
“You’re strong.”
I shook my head in protest. “I’m not.”
“Tell me.” I closed my eyes as he gripped my chin and ordered, “Look at me,” and when I did he demanded, “Tell me!”
I continued shaking my head as I whimpered, “I need you inside me. I’m starting to forget what it felt like. I don’t want to forget. Please, don’t let me forget.”
The green pools of his eyes mesmerized me as he stared at me. I’m sure he was fighting with his own emotions, wants and needs, let alone doctor’s orders. He releas
ed my chin and stepped away from me as I sagged against the wall. My clit thrummed away, pleading to be touched as I watched him pace the room.
“I’m sorry.”
Turning to me, “Don’t be sorry. Never be sorry for telling me what it is you want, what you need.”
Before I knew what was happening, he had grabbed my hand and was pulling me up the stairs. I didn’t know what to think or what to expect as he pulled me to the center of the bedroom and kissed me, almost violently. My lips began to swell as our mouths fought for control, teeth bumping while our lips tangled. I tried to remove his clothes, but he denied me while he removed mine.
He pushed me to arm’s length and took in my body. I stood, legs trembling, in my bra and panties as he tried to push down his erection through his pants.
“Fuck.” I jumped at his outburst and watched him remove his socks, leaving him in only his shirt and pants. He climbed the bed and I watched him as he sat up against the headboard, legs spread wide. “Come here.”
I climbed the bed as gracefully as I could, not sure where he wanted me. He directed me to sit down in front of him and I did as I was instructed. I felt him tug his shirt over his head, dropping it to the floor. Pulling me back, the warmth of his chest soothed an ache in me I hadn’t known was there. I completely relaxed against him as his hands began to travel my abdomen. Turning my face back toward his, I found his mouth waiting for me.
His hands singed every part of my torso, avoiding the parts most desperate for his touch. I even tried to move up against him and stopped when he pulled the cup of my bra down and molded my breast to his hand and he soon released the other. He lifted me slightly so that my bum was resting against his cock, enveloped in his lap. His legs moved under and in between mine as he spread my legs. He caressed my inner thighs until I was trembling again.
“Touch yourself.” My body stiffened at his words. “No sex with each other, of any kind. Touch yourself.”
He kissed me again as my hand slowly moved to my panties. I didn’t have the energy to fight him, I just wanted my release and if touching myself was the only way to get it, then so be it. At least he was there with me, helping to guide me over the edge.
As my fingers found my soaking lips, a rush of desire charged through me. He groaned and pressed his groin against me. His hands pushed my hair to the side as he tortured my neck with his mouth. My fingers did what they knew how to do best. In and out, round and round, up and down as he kept pressing himself against me. My breathing was picking up as my hand increased its pace.
“Slow down. Enjoy it. Make it last.” His own words were raspy and strained as he held on to me.
His arms encircled me, one at my neck and the other around my waist. “James…” I slowed my movements, circling in the opposite direction before pulling my fingers away. Lifting my hand, he sucked on my fingers when they reached his mouth. When he released them, I resumed my own demise as he encouraged me on. We were panting and moaning our own song of longing and desire.
“Kiss me.” Turning my face to his, he breathed in my mouth as my climax came closer. “Come in my mouth. I want to breathe in your release.”
My body tensed as his tongue explored every part of my mouth. His arms held me tighter as my release overpowered me. He didn’t stop kissing me until my trembling ceased, his fingertips drawing lazy circles over my skin.
My eyes opened a few minutes later and we were face to face under the covers. He was asleep and I didn’t have the heart to wake him. I crawled out of bed, threw on his discarded shirt and climbed back in next to him. Habit and instinct both took over as he tucked me in against him. I was safe, back in his cocoon embrace.
Chapter 13 ~ Unbreakable
~ JAMES ~
I woke up with a raging boner, her hip pressed up against it. Fuck! I wanted to take her, fuck doctor’s orders, but I wanted to make sure when we did finally fuck again, that it was it for us. She was it for me, but I knew she still wasn’t convinced of that. Of course, the act we’d performed that night probably broke doctor’s orders, but I wasn’t about to tell him. I had to get out of that bed before I buried myself inside her.
I debated whether I should leave, shower, sleep on the couch, run on the treadmill; the choices were boundless. My hard-on was relentless so I decided on a shower. I made my way to the guest bath in the hall, not wanting to wake her. Turning the water on, I removed my pants and briefs before stepping in.
The room was already filling with steam when I soaped up my hand and started stroking myself. I replayed the scene we’d acted out, but it wasn’t my hand that brought her pleasure in my thoughts. I was quickly building, my balls rising and falling with the pulsing of my cock. Through the sheer curtain, I envisioned the door slowly swing open. Her figure came into view, red hair falling down her shoulders. She was wearing my shirt and slowly came closer. Her eyes were locked on mine as she slowly pulled the curtain open.
“Don’t come any closer, woman.” I was naked and not prepared for her to see the tattoo that graced my back. She couldn’t see it. Not yet.
She smiled at me and in her sirens voice said, “I’m not going to get you off, but I thought I could help you like you helped me.” She climbed in as my eyes dropped to her nipples that were poking through the shirt.
I closed my eyes and when I opened them again, she was gone. I was losing my shit. Blue balls were making me loopy. I stroked harder and faster until my release came. I washed up before I got out and got dressed—thankful I still had some clothes there—making sure to cover my tattoo.
Knowing we were breaking every recommendation Dr. Pratt had given us, I crawled back into bed with her and pulled her close. It had been so hard not telling her how much I loved her, telling her I had won the poker hand—four of a kind—I wanted to marry her, proper. Delaney held my secret in her hands and I wasn’t sure why she kept it, but she had. Maybe she knew as well as I did that Cassidy needed more time. When my brain stopped battling itself, I slept for a few more hours.
~<>~<>~<>~
I was putting my socks and shoes on when she woke in the morning. She stretched and smiled coyly at me. “Hey.”
“Hey, back at ya’.” She sat up as I said, “I have some work I need to do. Will you be around later?”
Nodding, “Yeah, I’ll be around. I’m supposed to get the color filled in on my phoenix today.”
“Oh, yeah. Do you want me to come with you?”
“You don’t have to. I’m sure Ryan, or whomever, will follow me if you’re not there.”
I walked to her side of the bed and kissed her forehead. “Ok. I’ll keep in touch then. I’ll talk to you soon.”
“O, ok.”
I stroked her cheek. “Don’t do that. Everything’s fine. But we need to pull back the reins.”
“I know. I’m sorry.”
“You really need to take this time to figure out what you want, what you need. I know I haven’t made it easy on you and I can never apologize enough for that.” Her eyes were transfixed on my neck as I tilted her chin up. When her eyes met mine I reiterated, “I’m not going anywhere. You’re what I want. End of.” She went to speak and I put my finger to her lips. “This is serious. Three more weeks. We can do this.”
I kissed her again and left her sitting on the bed as I walked out the door. Knowing she was going to see Styx, I called him and asked him not to mention the anchor tattoo I’d gotten. He said it was no problem. Later that day I made it to the shop about half way through her session.
~<>~<>~<>~
The next week flew by. The foundation for the house had been poured and the Blue Horse was coming along nicely, of course I needed to rename it, considering what I had in store for it. It had been gutted and was awaiting Delaney’s magic touch. All of Holly’s artwork had also been delivered. I had stored it in the spare bedroom at the penthouse, the room Melissa no longer occupied, and locked the door. I couldn’t risk Cassidy or anyone else finding it. I had taken Cassidy to the gallery that n
ight having already purchased every single piece of Holly’s art. When Annie called me to tell me, I was furious and did what I did best. I made it happen.
I was still replaying our second session with Dr. Pratt in my head. We’d met with him early on in the week and dove into some deep territory. I’d had my own session with him and after our joint session, Cassidy made her own appointment with him.
“You guys need to slow it down. Enjoy just being a couple. I know, but you know what I mean.” He made eye contact with both of us after we disclosed our struggles with not being intimate. “I’m not trying to be cruel, but right now we need to focus on your mental and emotional connection. We know that the physical one is there.” Cassidy was sniffling when he added, “I’m not saying the emotional and mental connection isn’t there, it is. We just want it unbreakable.” She nodded and then he brought up the miscarriage. “You two lost a child, no matter how early in the pregnancy, it’s a significant loss.”
With a shaky breath she murmured, “I don’t want to talk about it. We, James and I, have already talked about it. I don’t want to keep trudging it up.”
I interrupted her, “I can’t imagine her grief, because I know how torn up I was.” I took her hand as my other ran through her hair, “I did everything wrong when I found out and you’ll never know how sorry I am for that.” She didn’t look at me, just rested her head against my chest as she wiped her tears away. “We didn’t even really have a chance to process and enjoy the fact that we were expecting a child before it was taken away from us.”
“Had you two discussed the topic of kids before that happened?” We both shook our heads. “Do you want kids?”
We both visibly stiffened. It wasn’t something we’d really discussed and we needed to. She sat up and looked to Dr. Pratt, “I, well, I never thought I did. Never thought of myself as the mothering type. But when I found out I was pregnant, I was overjoyed.” Her eyes turned to me, “The thought of your baby growing inside me, I’d never felt joy like that before.” The tear fell from my eye before I was able to hide it from her. I swiped it away as she smiled at me.
