by Wren Mingua
"Uh... Lewis?"
"Yes?"
"I better get to bed." She was already inching toward the door. "Goodnight?"
"I'm sorry if I've made you uncomfortable. Really, it's the last thing I would want to do," Lewis insisted. "It's just that... you fascinate me, and if you think I'm being unprofessional then just--"
"Goodnight," Zoe repeated. She opened the door and slipped into the hallway.
"Goodnight."
When she was out of the room, Lewis ran to the door and peered out into the hallway. With the door open, he could stare at Zoe's bum as she made her way back to her bedroom.
"And what a lovely bum it is," he whispered to himself, his lips drawing into a slightly devious grin.
Chapter Seventeen
Excerpt from Zoe's blog--
They say absence makes the heart grow fonder, and I really believe that might be true. Come to think of it, though, I haven't been missing my mom too much. Is that bad?
Clinkle clinkle.
That sound meant she had just received a text. And even though Zoe was getting familiar with the sound, it still made her jump. She was so engrossed in her BBC drama, even the smallest noise would have shocked her out of her skin.
It was from Ben, of course.
To Zoe: hello there, beautiful. what r u doin?
Zoe kept an eye on the television as she punched a reply.
To Ben: I'm watching a show on BBC. What are you doing?
To Zoe: i auditioned for a bbc drama once. i didnt get the part, as you might have guessed. it turns out i'm a shit actor. rite now i'm trying to find a job.
The characters on the screen were embracing each other as they reunited in the rain. Real life just didn't measure up to that, Zoe realized with a sigh.
To Ben: Oh really? And how's that going?
To Zoe: not too good yet. at this rate, i might end up on the dole.
Zoe didn't respond to his text for a few minutes because she was intent on finishing her movie. It was so moving, she almost had to reach for a tissue. Why couldn't guys in real life be more like guys in the movies?
"Because women probably wrote the scripts," Zoe said with a chuckle. She grabbed her "mobile" and finally got back to replying, even though she didn't understand what he was trying to say. There were many times she didn't quite understand what British people were trying to say, but she tried her best.
To Ben: The dole? What does that mean?
To Zoe: i thnk the american equivalent would be unemployment? welfare?
Now that her show was done, he had her undivided attention. She flicked off the telly and laid on the couch, her phone hovering inches above her nose.
To Ben: Oh. I had no idea what you meant. I don't know if this is true in Britain, but in the US, Dole is a brand of fruit. I thought "on the dole" was British slang for, "I'm so broke I'm only going to be able to eat bananas from here on out."
When she reread the word "banana," Zoe was shocked to realize she was reading it the British way. In her head, she heard "bah nah nah" and it made her want to clobber herself with a pillow.
To Ben: I guess I still suck at British slang.
To Zoe: rotflmao!! you're killing me!
To Ben: I hope I don't kill you! You're too cute to kill! :-)
To Zoe: ^_^
Zoe rolled her eyes when she received his smiley text. Were they really so bored that they had taken to sending each other smiley faces?
To Zoe: really i'm not so broke. im ashamed to admit, at my age, that i still get money from my father. and i still have my savings from when i was working during school, so...
* * *
Ben winced as soon as he sent her his last text. The last thing he wanted was for Zoe to think he was spoiled and irresponsible. He wanted her to see him as an adult, with his own flat, taking responsibility for his own life. His youth seemed to bother her, so he needed to impress her.
Getting money from Daddy was hardly impressive.
To Ben: You come from a rich family, don't you?
To Zoe: dunno if id say that. were fairly well off i suppose
When she didn't reply for quite some time, he was starting to fear he might be losing her. He needed to think of an interesting topic, something to recapture her interest.
To Zoe: I've been missing you.
He made a point to use perfect capitalization and punctuation, hoping that would impress her too. She seemed to be a stickler for that sort of thing.
To Ben: Oh suuuuuuuure you are! I bet you're surrounded by girls right now!
Ben looked around his flat, which was as empty as the day she left it. Zoe was starting to drive him crazy, the way she fussed about his age and assumed the worst about him. Why was it so hard for her to believe he had legitimate feelings for her? Sometimes he wanted to take her by the shoulders and shake some sense into her.
To Zoe: no, I am very much alone. I wish you were here.
Sometimes she waited so long to reply, he was convinced she must have had more important things to do. Ben wished, more than anything, that he could somehow move to the top of her priorities list. Did she even give him a second thought?
To Zoe: Don't you miss me? Even a teeny tiny bit? Give me some hope!
Still no reply.
To Zoe: Alright then. I'm going to assume your answer is no...
To Ben: Waaaait! I was in the potty and couldn't reply. I didn't want to text you while I was tinkling. Yes!! Yes, I do miss you! There, U happy?
Ben could feel the grin stretching across his face. At least he wasn't completely and utterly hopeless in his pursuit of the woman of his dreams.
To Ben: Was that TMI? Too much information?
To Zoe: Not at all. I rather like the image that flashed thru my mind... of yer bum on the porcelain throne.
To Ben: Ok, now THAT is TMI!! You should keep those dirty potty fantasies to yourself, mmkay?
Ben got up, mobile in hand, and went to his bed. As small as his flat was, it didn't take him long to cross the room. As soon as he crashed on the mattress, he texted:
To Zoe: You are terrible. I don't have "potty" fantasies. It was the image of yer bum that was so titillating.
To Ben: Are you using the word TITillating on purpose, you naughty boy?
To Zoe: what! of course not!
To Ben: Well it was a big word nonetheless. I'm impressed. So how long are we going to text each other? You are eating up my minutes and I need to get to bed.
To Zoe: I have unlimited texts, so i could text u all nite. Do you want me to call u instead? skype or something? it would be nice to see your face
To Ben: I have never used skype before.
To Zoe: Neither have I. seems like a load of bollocks to me. by the way, it is my birthday next week. do you know what that means? it means you are obligated to come visit me.
To Ben: Oh I am, am I? I'll have to remember that. Does that mean you'll be coming to get me?
Ben piled up two pillows behind his head and continued to send her texts. He really could write to her all night long--if she would let him. Would she ever know how much he missed her face, how much he longed to see her? He could try to tell her, but he knew she would laugh it off. Zoe was determined to believe he could never say anything heartfelt and genuine.
To Zoe: It also means I am turning 23, which means you can no longer fuss over our 10 year age difference.
To Ben: Until 3 months from now, when I turn 33.
Ben's eyes rolled so far back in his head, he thought he was in danger of losing them to his brain. Why did age matter so much to her if it didn't matter to him?
To Zoe: and to answer your question, i WILL be coming to get you. my bday is on wednesday...when is a good time for you?
To Ben: I don't know if I can get away on Wednesday. Would it be alright if I came on the weekend?
So he would have to spend his actual birthday alone? Without her? Ben's heart sank so far, he swore he could feel it somewhere in his stomach.
&nbs
p; To Zoe: :'(
To Ben: Aww, don't cry! Maybe I can ask Lewis for some time off?
To Zoe: No, he's a twat, don't bother. I'll come get you on saturday... dont forget!!
Chapter Eighteen
Excerpt from Zoe's blog--
I've noticed British people use the word "brilliant" a lot. We're going to the grocery store? That's brilliant! That show on the telly? It's brilliant! Having a drink at the pub? You guessed it... brilliant!
Maybe I'm just being pessimistic, but I don't think everything can be THAT brilliant!
Zoe stood outside the car while she waited for Chris to arrive. If he was going to get bullied after school, she was going to be there to put a stop to it.
When he saw her, Chris lifted a hand in silent salutation. He threw his rucksack into the backseat and climbed into the car.
"Hey," she greeted him.
"Hi, Zoe."
She noticed he was fidgeting with something in his hands, so she asked, "What do you have there?"
He held it up so she could see it. "A rubber band."
"Oh. Not as fascinating as I thought," Zoe said with a chuckle. "Do you want to go anywhere today, or do you want to go directly home?"
"Directly home."
They rode in silence for a few minutes, and a few minutes was all they had. Before she knew it, they were pulling into the Eastham's driveway. She could never quite get over how huge the house was, and no matter how long she stayed, she didn't think she would ever be comfortable enough to call it her home.
When the car stopped, Chris said, "Zoe?"
"Hmm?" She pulled out the car keys and dropped them into her purse.
"I..." He blew on the window, fogging it up. Then he wrote the letter C on the glass. He was obviously hesitating, but she didn't know why. "I guess I'm not going to be bullied by Walter anymore."
"Really? That's great!" The first thought that popped into her mind was that Chris must have let Walter have it. Maybe he decked him one, and Walter ran away with his tail between his legs? If that was the case, Zoe certainly wasn't going to complain. "Did something happen?"
"Well... no." Chris shrugged. "Dad says I'm going to go live with my mum... in Stevenage."
"What?! When?!"
"Tomorrow."
"Tomorrow!?" All at once, a thousand different questions sprang into Zoe's head. Why hadn't anyone said anything to her? What did it mean for Zoe? What did it mean for her job? "Are you sure about this, Chris?" She was staring at him in the rear-view mirror, so she saw him nod. "Well... will I be going with you?!"
"No. I don't think so."
"How long are you going to be in Stevenage?"
"I don't know. I think it might be permanent." Chris blew on the window a second time, and the fog reappeared. When it did, he turned his C into a frowny face. "I'll miss you."
"I'll... miss you too," Zoe said. Her head was spinning. She had a million different questions, but there was no one to ask, since Lewis wasn't due to return from work until late that night. "Do you want me to make you a snack or something?"
"No. That's alright." When Chris got out of the car, Zoe wrapped an arm around his shoulders. Chris had just started warming up to her--now they were going to take him away? It was incredibly unfair! "Do you think we could go somewhere with Uncle Ben sometime, even though I'm going to live in Stevenage?"
Zoe wasn't too familiar with British cities, so she asked, "How far is Stevenage from London?"
"Not too far, I don't think."
"Then... I don't see why not." Zoe was wincing as she spoke. If her job was hanging in the balance, she didn't know how long she would be staying in the UK. If Lewis was going to "sack" her, she would probably end up going back home.
Ben won't be too happy about that, Zoe thought to herself.
"Hey, Chris?"
He flicked the rubber band at her, but she knew he was being playful, so she didn't reprimand him. "What?"
"You want to play some games with me?"
"Yeah!" he cheered. "You really want to?"
"I do!" She started shuffling in the direction of the house. "The first person to reach the game room gets first dibs on characters!"
As soon as she made her declaration, Chris raced past her. Watching him go, she realized it would probably be the last time they would get to play together.
And even though she wasn't an avid gamer--far from it--she was immensely disheartened by that fact.
* * *
It was half past midnight when Lewis got home. Even though it was late, Zoe was waiting for him in the foyer.
"Lewis!" she shouted his name as soon as he popped his head in the door.
"Ohhhh great," he groaned. "I know what this is about." Lewis removed his suit coat, slung it over his arm, and hurried down the hallway, as if hoping to leave her behind.
"Tomorrow?!" she yelled. "Gemma is coming to get Chris tomorrow!? When were you planning on telling me?"
"Soon," Lewis said.
"Soon? Soon as in, when? Two minutes before Gemma showed up to claim him?!" She followed him down the hall, to his room. Lewis sat on the end of his bed and started removing his shoes, barely acknowledging her presence. "Where does this leave me?!"
"What do you mean?"
"I mean... if Chris isn't going to be here, I can't imagine you'll have much use for a nanny!" Zoe exclaimed. "Is his visit with Gemma going to be temporary, because Chris seemed to think it's permanent."
"It's... permanent," Lewis reluctantly confessed. "Although, he will be coming to visit me on weekends..." He tossed his shoes to the floor and started removing his socks, which made Zoe sneer.
"So am I going to go with Gemma?!"
"Of course not!" Lewis threw back his head and cackled. "As if she could possibly pay for a nanny's services! And you know... not to be rude, but you weren't exactly her favorite person in the world."
"I'm aware of that," Zoe sighed. "So does that mean I'm fired? Does that mean I'm only going to be needed on the weekends? You need to tell me what's going on!"
Lewis rose from the bed and stalked toward her, barefoot and grinning. He placed his thumb under her chin and coaxed her to look in his direction. "I don't want you to leave, Zoe..." he whispered.
"Well, it doesn't sound like you'll have much use for me."
"Oh, but I believe I DO have some use for you," Lewis said. "I've made no secret of my feelings, have I? So it should come as no surprise... you know I want you."
Zoe took a step backward, toward the open doorway. Lewis reached around her back and slammed the door shut, preventing her escape. "So you want me to stay here as your... what? Your mistress or something?!"
He brushed a knuckle across her cheek. "That's one way to put it."
"Lewis..." she rolled her eyes at him. "You really think I'm that kind of girl?"
"I don't know what kind of girl you are, Zoe." He was standing so close to her, she could feel his breath on her neck. "But I'm willing to find out."
"I'm leaving, Lewis," she announced. "I'm leaving when Chris is leaving."
"You're not leaving," he whispered, directly into her ear. "I won't let you leave."
"Lewis..."
"I won't let you leave."
Zoe started to reach for the doorknob, but he grabbed her hand. He lifted her off her feet and proceeded to carry her to the bed, so she balled a first and started pummeling his back.
"Lewis, what are you doing?!" Zoe screamed. "Put me down! Have you lost your mind?!"
Lewis tossed her on the bed. When she started to scramble away, he grabbed her feet and reeled her back to him. "LEWIS!" she hollered. "LEWIS, STOP!"
"I'm not stopping. I know you want this." When he started unzipping his pants, Zoe knew she was in trouble. He shoved his pants down, and his gray boxers came into view.
Zoe was starting to feel sick, especially when Lewis lifted her shirt and kissed her on the stomach. She slapped the side of his head as hard as she possibly could, which made him wince. "Lewis, you
need to STOP this!"
"No!" He grabbed her wrists, twisting them, wrestling them to the bed. "I won't fucking stop. Not until I've had you."
"You're hurting me!"
He let go of her hand and pulled down one side of her shorts, kissing her on her bare hip. Zoe gave silent thanks to God that she had decided to wear underwear that day. She clamped her knees shut, as tightly as she could, because that's what her mother always told her to do if some guy ever tried to rape her.
Is that what Lewis was trying to do? Rape her?! Her mind in a panic, Zoe used her free hand to claw at Lewis' neck. So he grabbed her hand and shoved it back to the bed, overpowering her.
"Chris!" Zoe screamed "CHRIS!"
"Don't try to call for my son!" As punishment, Lewis pinned his knee against her stomach. "What is he going to do when he comes in here? What is he going to think?"
Lewis let go of her hand again, grabbed her jaw, and forced a kiss on her lips. Zoe squealed and pounded on his head, which only made him more aggressive. He whipped his shirt over his head and she tried, fruitlessly, to shove him off of her. He was too strong, too big, and too powerful.
But there was one thing she could do to him. When Lewis started kissing her stomach again, she lifted her leg and kneed him in the crotch, as hard as she possibly could. Lewis rolled to one side and gripped his groin, groaning like a baby. It gave Zoe the window of opportunity she needed. She leapt from the bed and ran out of the room as quickly as her legs could carry her.
"Zoe!" he hollered. "Zoe, get back here!"
Zoe was in tears as she charged down the hallway. She heard him calling to her, and it felt like a scene out of a horror movie. It was, without a doubt, going to go down in history as the most traumatic moment of her life.
