by S. Donahue
“You like that,” he said to the back of my head.
“You know I do,” I replied.
“We need to go to the dealership this morning.”
“Uh, we will be there forever. I have work to do. I need to have some kind of update for Jeremy tomorrow.”
“Bring your laptop with you. I have a mobile hotspot. You’ll be fine.”
“Brendan?” I turned to him. “I don’t need a car.”
“You do. End of story.”
“You’re being unreasonable.”
“No car, no sex,” he said, like he was giving me a choice.
I busted out laughing. There was no way he was going to be able to go without sex. It was worth a tease.
“Okay, no sex.” You should see the look on his face.
“What?!”
“No sex,” I repeated.
“You can’t do that.”
“Didn’t you just give me an ultimatum?”
“I was kidding.”
“Oh okay. Hmmm, then no car. Pick one.”
“Joella, the car is for your safety.”
“What kind of car do you suppose I’ll be driving?”
“A Lexus.”
“What about a Honda?”
“Dancers drive nice cars because they make good money.”
“I’m in the wrong profession. Damn cops don’t make shit.”
“Well, I’d say so after the lap dance you gave me yesterday.”
“Jerk,” I said, tapping his arm lightly. “I’m going to get a shower.”
“I’ll join you.”
“We’ll never get to the dealership by ten.”
“Fine, go to your shower, I’ll go to mine.”
He kissed me on the cheek before I got out of the bed. He is absolutely great, but I have so many thoughts going through my head. He was hurt before. I was hurt. I have a whole life outside of this case. I also need to make things right with my family.
I opened my email and there was a message from the Fraternal Order of Police in Philadelphia. There was going to be a memorial service in two weeks for Roger. I don’t know if I can handle it, but I’m expected to be there. I can’t believe it will be five years already. I haven’t spoken to his family since the funeral. I was wrong on my part, but I just couldn’t deal with it. I couldn’t look into his mother’s face every day, so I stayed away. I need to think about my decision to go, further.
I picked out my clothes and took a quick shower. My mind is going in a million different directions. Why did this email have to come after my fantastic night with Brendan?
I towel dried my hair and put on a black t-shirt, shorts and black thong sandals. I pulled my hair up and applied lip gloss. I was ready to go. I just wanted to be casual today. I threw my laptop and accessories in my bag and exited the room.
Brendan was already downstairs waiting for me.
“You look pretty,” he said.
I gave him a quick smile and said “Thanks.” I think he could sense my mood because he asked if I was okay. I told him I was fine.
“I just wish I was working instead of buying a car.”
“Too bad,” he said, putting his arm around me. I tensed up. I’m not sure why. I know I want him, but I’m scared to get close. This thing with Brendan is moving way too quickly, and what was I thinking having unprotected sex with him? I acted so irresponsibly, which isn’t like me. He is a complete distraction and I’m afraid something bad will happen if I lose focus.
“Come on, Brendan. We have to go,” I said pulling away. He looked hurt but didn’t say anything. He grabbed my bag and led me out the door. He opened the car door and I got in. He tossed my laptop bag in the back seat and got in the driver’s side.
“Joella, it would have been better if you just turned me down instead of having sex with me, and then decide to be cold the next day.”
“What? I’m not being cold.”
He was totally pissed off.
“Well then, what’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” I replied back.
“You know what? Fine! Talk to me when you’re ready,” he said pulling out of the parking spot.
Was he in a damn race? I needed to have a talk with him about us and I also needed to tell him about Billy.
“Brendan, we have a lot to talk about. Last night is definitely one of them.”
“What, do you regret it now?”
“It was great. I had a lot of fun, but things are going fast. I need to focus and we made an irresponsible mistake by not having protected sex. I know better than that.”
“What, I don’t?”
“I’m not saying that. What if I get pregnant? That would not be in my plan and I’m sure you have other things going on in your life and wouldn’t want that type of responsibility.”
“First of all, you don’t even know that. Secondly, don’t tell me what I would do. I’m not that kind of guy.”
“Look, I don’t want to talk about this.”
“Great,” he said slapping his hand on the steering wheel.
Can you say anger management? I’m just going to be silent the whole day, even tonight when I have to go back to the hooker hotel.
Brendan pulled into the lot and slammed his car door as he got out of his black Lexus. Is he planning on getting us matching cars? This is ridiculous. I got out of the car and followed him in. This was the first time he didn’t open the car door for me. Oh well.
I stood beside him carrying my laptop case and my purse on my shoulder. I listened as he spoke to the sales guy.
“I need a safe and reliable car for her,” he said, pointing his thumb at me like he was hitch hiking. Hmm. Now, I’m a her. I think I’ll butt into this conversation.
“Excuse me. We’ll take the cheapest car you have.”
“Don’t listen to her. She doesn’t know cars like me. I want safe and reliable no matter what the cost.”
The sales guy was looking between both of us unsure of what move to make.
“Let’s just walk around and let me know if you see something,” he said, addressing both of us.
This poor man! It wasn’t his fault he got stuck with us. We followed him around for what felt like an hour as he and Brendan discussed cars. Obviously, Brendan knew a lot about them. I just stood there bored to death not saying anything. I was about to tell him I wanted to leave when he spotted the car of … someone’s dreams. I don’t know if it was supposed to be mine or his. I’m thinking his because I am not into this. He picked out a white Lexus GX 460 SUV. It was really nice but it cost $55,000.
“Do you like it?” he asked me.
“It’s nice, but expensive,” I said, folding my arms across my chest.
“She’ll take it,” he said smiling to the sales guy. “I’m buying it for her.”
I rolled my eyes at him. He threw that last part in to aggravate me. I went to the waiting room. I turned on my laptop and entered my notes that I had put in my phone the night before. I glanced over and Brendan was still talking to the sales guy. He started walking over toward me. I had to act busy. He sat down next to me.
“Charles is getting the truck detailed and ready for us. I purchased all the added features.”
“Great.” I kept typing away on the computer.
“Why are you being a bitch?”
“I’m not. I’m tired and I’m confused.”
“What’s happened, has already happened. There’s nothing you can do about it.”
“It’s not that. I received an email from the Fraternal Order of Police. There’s going to be a memorial for Roger in two weeks. They invited me. I’m not sure if I want to go home. I haven’t seen his family in five years and my family in 2 years. It will be weird. Plus, I’m having sex with someone else. I don’t feel right.”
“Are you kidding me? It’s been five years. You can’t live your life alone forever.”
“Maybe I was meant to.”
“If that’s the case, then we would have never met.”
“I’m here for my job. Plus, what if I do get pregnant? I’m dishonoring him.”
“What the fuck? How is that possible? If I was him I would want you to move on.”
“That’s funny. You get mad if someone so much as says hi to me.”
“Just the club people.”
“Oh really?” I said, raising my eyebrow at him. “Let’s see.”
“You’re calling my bluff.”
“Uh huh.”
“How?”
“See that hot guy over there looking for a car. I’m gonna talk to him.”
“Go ahead. It doesn’t bother me.”
“Okay.”
I got up from my chair. Mind you, I have never done anything like this in my life. I needed to prove a point to him. I walked up to the guy and said, “That’s a nice car.”
“Yeah, it is.” He turned around and shook my hand. “I’m Leo.”
I was dying. His name was Leo like Leonardo DiCaprio. This was going to be great torture.
“You’re beautiful,” Leo said.
“Why, thank you!”
“Isn’t that your husband over there?”
“Nah, he’s my brother,” I said pointing in Brendan’s direction and speaking loud enough for him to hear me.
Brendan’s face was turning different shades of red.
“Oh okay, Do you want to walk and talk?”
“I have to get back to my brother but it was nice talking to you.”
“Here’s my phone number maybe we can go out sometime.”
I entered his name and phone number into my cell and he took mine. I had no plans on calling him, but you never know.
“Talk to you soon,” he yelled out. I walked away.
Brendan was about to stand up.
“Sit down. What are you going to do? Punch him in a car dealership.”
“I can’t believe you exchanged numbers with him.”
“You said you weren’t jealous.”
“Okay, I am. You got me. Take his number out of your phone.”
“Who Leo? Didn’t he remind you of Leonardo DiCaprio?”
“No, not at all. I want his number out.”
“What are you gonna do?”
Before he could answer, Charles the sales guy walked up.
“Mr. Kirkpatrick, your car is ready. You just have to complete all the paperwork. Come to my office when you’re ready.”
‘Thanks,” he said to Charles.
He’s looking at me like I’m insane. I smirk back at him because I know I have won.
“What are you laughing at?”
“You.”
“Why?”
“Because I think you’re funny. I was thinking maybe I should go to the club myself tonight.”
“Hell no.”
“I need to figure shit out and you get in my way.”
“I don’t trust them with you there.”
“Brendan, I’m a cop. It’s my job for the millionth time.”
“What if I change your position to manager of the girls and take Billy off. I can say it’s because of complaints.”
“Um, I don’t want that job and the girls would be pissed.”
“Okay, I can make you assistant manager. This way Billy doesn’t suspect anything. This way you can socialize more and get more information.”
“So genius, are you going to say, remember the stripper I brought in last night yeah, she’s now my assistant manager.”
“Yep.”
I rolled my eyes at him. Leave it to a man to think he came up with a number one plan.
“Why don’t you just go fill out the paperwork so I can go home and work in peace.”
“Whatever,” he said walking away.
His ass was so fine, but I know I’m making the right decision by slowing this thing down between us. One of us is going to end up hurt. I sure as hell was not going to let it be me. Yeah, that’s not going to happen.
***
About two hours later, we made our way back home. I’m driving my new SUV, which is actually really nice. I still plan on leaving it when I move back to my apartment. This car is just a loan as far as I’m concerned.
I parked the car and waited for Brendan to park his car. We went into the house.
“I’m going to my room. Thanks for the car.”
“You’re welcome. Maybe we should talk,” he said.
“Okay, about what?”
“Us.”
“What about us? We had sex. It was great.”
“That’s all it was to you.”
“Brendan, we have to go slow. I can’t get involved.”
“You call last night going slow?”
“No, but this morning I realized. I don’t want to lead you on.”
“You know what? Fine. I’m done with you, seriously.”
“Great. I think I’ll go stay in a hotel.”
“Pfft.”
“What’s that mean?”
“I don’t know. Just pfft.”
“I’m going to pack.”
“Do whatever you want,” he said in a cocky tone.
“I’ll leave the car keys.”
“Just take the car. I don’t want it.”
“I’ll be in work tonight as a dancer.”
“Of course you are because you think you’ll get to me, but you won’t.”
“You’re delusional,” I said as I walked up the steps to pack my belongings.
A part of me thought he would have stopped me, but the other part knows it’s for the best. I took everything. I called a local hotel and they had a room available so I booked it. I told them I would be renting it daily because I wasn’t sure how long I would need it.
I carried all my bags downstairs. Brendan wasn’t home, but he left a note.
To: Lois Lane,
I couldn’t watch you walk out of my life. I guess I’ll see you at “the office.”
Clark Kent
Tears welled in my eyes. The way he wrote the note made me sad. He basically thinks he’s no longer my Superman. I can’t think about this. He’s playing with my emotions. Maybe he does truly care, but I can’t be vulnerable and open myself up. My way has worked for so long. The hotel will be just great. There won’t be any caped crusaders to distract me.
Chapter Fourteen
Brendan
I left the house. I’m sitting in my car driving around because I’m so upset. I really thought Joella and I had a connection. I figured the best move was to let her go. If it is meant to be we will end up together. I left her a note which basically translates into we are now on a professional basis. That’s what she wanted, that’s what I’m giving her.
I decided to go into work early. Normally, I’m dressed in a business suit, but today I’m just wearing what I have on: khaki cargo shorts, and a black t-shirt. I will have to face her eventually tonight, but I can’t give in to my temptation. I have to treat her like an employee, even though she really isn’t one.
Billy’s talking to Roxy at the bar. I wonder what the hell is going on between those two.
“Oh, you’re alive,” I said to him.
“Barely, I feel like shit. Why are you here early?”
“I have paperwork to do. I’ll be in my office for a while. Don’t bother me unless it’s important.”
“Okay, are you alright?”
“Yeah, I’m fine.”
I needed to just get away. I locked the door to the office. I lie down on the couch. Maybe I need to forget her. I think I’ll just take a nap here and then go home.
Who the fuck is knocking on the door? I thought I told Billy I didn’t want any visitors.
I opened the door and it was Roxy.
“What’s going on, Roxy?”
“I need to talk to you for a minute.”
“Come in. Just for a minute. Are you having a problem?”
“Yeah, I need off and Billy won’t let me have off.”
“Tell him I said its okay for you to have off.”
> “Seriously?”
“Yeah, we have plenty of girls that can fill in for you.”
She moved closer to me. “Thanks a lot, Brendan. You’re a great guy.”
“Thanks.” I was starting to feel uncomfortable. She looked like she wanted something from me and I had a good idea what that was.
“You can go tell Billy I said it’s okay to take off.” I was trying to get rid of her.
“Brendan, it’s no surprise that I want you,” Roxy said.
“I’m not interested, Roxy. I’m your boss.”
“Are you interested in this?” She put her hand down my pants and started massaging my dick.
Roxy was very hot. I’m not going to lie. I just wasn’t attracted to her. Her goal was to get me so turned on that I wouldn’t stop her. She was wrong. I went to go move her hand, but as I did, she kissed me. When she pulled away from me, Joella was standing in my doorway. I can only imagine what it looked like from the outside.
“Uh, uh. I’m sorry. Excuse me,” Joella said running off.
“Roxy, that was totally inappropriate. Get the fuck out of my office. You’re on suspension. Go home.”
“What?! You can’t do that. I need the money.”
“You heard me. Until further notice.”
I’m pissed off. If I go after Joella everyone will know I have feelings for her. I do have feelings for her which is totally crazy and unexpected. I feel like she belongs to me, but I just can’t claim her because she won’t let me.
Instead of chasing after her, I locked my door behind Roxy and took a nap. If I explained myself to her, she wouldn’t believe me anyway. I’ll deal with Joella when the time is right. Was she coming here to apologize? I can’t think of that right now.
Chapter Fifteen
Joella
I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. Roxy had her hand down Brendan’s pants and she was kissing him. He was kissing her back. I’m a fucking idiot. I got played by him. I need to put all these pieces together, figure out what’s going on and be done with this case. I’m in shock that he lied to me. I guess he will do anything to get a piece of ass.
After I leave here tonight, I’m going to drive back to his house and put the car keys in the mailbox and just drive my old car.
