I ran my fingers through her scruffy hair before cupping her face. A slight grin appeared on her lips before I kissed her firmly as her hands lightly gripped my waist. I took in the familiar scent of fresh linen on her skin. Everything about her made me want more – the way she looked at me, the way she touched me. I wondered what the cost would be to always have this feeling and was I willing to pay it?
Her hand went to the waistband of my jeans, releasing several buttons before she slipped her hand inside. I knew that I was already wet as she stroked the outside of my underwear, pressing the damp material against me. I gently sucked on her bottom lip, letting out a low groan as her fingers pressed more firmly.
Jamie pulled away, whispering in my ear. “I think these need to come off.”
“Me too.”
I stood in front of her on a lower step, allowing her to push down my jeans and underwear at the same time. Stepping on my heel, I managed to slip off one of my Merrells and a trouser leg. I didn’t want anything to restrict my movement at this point. I straddled Jamie’s thighs once more as she ran her hands along the inside of my thighs. I felt the breeze against my freshly shaved lips as I settled on top of her. I could feel the heat begin to build between my legs; the anticipation of what was going to happen next was killing me. I wanted to feel her inside of me.
Her fingers delved into my wetness, spreading my juices. She made lazy circles around my clit before gently pressing her fingers against my opening.
“Go inside,” was my breathy reply to her unspoken request. We were still learning what we both liked and somehow she made this usually awkward moment totally normal. She seemed to know what I needed. She slowly plunged her fingers as deep as she could, before pulling them out again, setting a slow and steady tempo, asking if it was okay.
“Yeah … it’s good,” was all I could muster as I began moving my hips in time with Jamie’s movements. I felt her adjust her fingers, bringing her thumb up to stroke my clit on each thrust. I gripped onto the stair behind her to keep my balance as I continued to rock my hips. Our kisses became more urgent as we both struggled to catch our breath. Her free hand went to my lower back to prevent us from toppling over. I collapsed against her, letting out a high-pitched moan as I came. The throb between my legs continued even as she slowly began to withdraw her fingers.
“That was–”
“Amazing!” I panted out, finishing her sentence. Now for the encore, I thought as I kissed her deeply. Relieving Jamie of her t-shirt, I kissed my way down between her breasts to the top of her shorts. I wanted to taste her so badly. Adjusting my body onto lower steps, I could feel the wobble in my legs from the earlier exertions as I positioned myself between her legs. Edging the shorts off her hips, I kissed the skin as it was exposed. I could smell her excitement as I kissed the inside of her thighs. Kneeling as comfortably as possible, I pulled her towards me, gripping her hips from behind, bringing her to me. She was so wet and hard already I knew it wouldn’t take much to push her over the edge. Flattening my tongue, I licked her shaft from bottom to top, enjoying her taste before concentrating on her hardened clit. I circled it several times, gently flicking it before slowly sucking it into my mouth. Her body seemed to vibrate in my hands as I continued to caress her; the urgency of her panting told me how close she was.
“Oh yeah! Oh yeah!” she cried out.
Her body thrusted forward as she came, before jolting wildly in my hands, as I eased off my ministrations. Savouring the moment, I kissed her lips and thighs as she caught her breath. Moving to the next step up, I shaped my body to hers, kissing her breasts before leaving a trail of kisses up her neck, finishing on her parted lips.
“Wow! I didn’t expect to christen this room today.”
I mentally counted the rooms in her house, discounting her bedroom. “Only five more to go.”
“Maybe we should go upstairs where we can be more comfortable.”
I leant back on my haunches, allowing Jamie to get to her feet. She turned to go up the stairs, grabbing my hand in the process, and led the way to her bedroom.
After spending several hours in bed, Jamie attempted to educate me with a couple of her favourite films, starting with Strangers on a Train, which is apparently one of Hitchcock’s most underrated films, based on a Patricia Highsmith novel. I hadn’t watched too many black and white films in my time, fearing them to be too old and boring, but that certainly wasn’t the case here. After an interlude for Chinese takeaway, consisting of the amazing ribs, we delved into another Hitchcock treat. North by Northwest, a bit more full-on in the production department with no expense spared for cast. Nonetheless, a great, entertaining movie and one of Jamie’s favourites I figured as she could quote most of the lines.
In the morning, I once again had to break the news of my departure back home.
“I need to go back to Manchester again today. I’ve got a meeting with some new clients tomorrow.”
“When will you be back?”
“Monday evening, I hope.” To my relief, I had the more minor role of co-presenter for this Whitby client meeting, unless James developed another illness.
“I’ll miss you.” She said it again.
I looked across at her lips twisted into a pout. I hated to admit it to myself, but I was going to miss her, too, and that very thought was killing me. I hated feeling this vulnerable, needing to be with someone to feel good.
“I’ll miss you, too,” I replied quietly.
I’d had such a good time with Jamie over the last few weeks. It felt alien to me in many ways. I wasn’t used to feeling clingy with anyone. It was starting to make me doubt myself and my ability to be on my own. As soon as I left York, my insecurities began to steadily build. All I could think about was how I wasn’t good enough for her. What had I been thinking? It was only going to end badly. Jamie wasn’t the type to stop at an unreturned phone call, taking the hint it was over when the project came to an end. Maybe it was better to finish it now with a clean cut rather than drag it out. I began to make contingency plans for how I could get out of this as painlessly as possible before we both got too attached. Although it was becoming clear to me I was too late to save myself, maybe I could still save Jamie from what would be an inevitable Robin Carson fuck up.
After arriving home, I spent the rest of the day prepping for tomorrow’s meeting, trying to take my mind off Jamie and our situation. Luckily, we hadn’t reached that constant texting and calling phase, so hopefully it wasn’t too late to break it off without too much damage. I figured the more time I could spend away from Jamie’s charming personality the more likely the relationship could be dissolved.
Chapter 11
The new client meeting went well, although he was – for want of better words – a sexist pig. He seemed to think I was there to make tea rather than any important decisions on the planning of his project. Thankfully, it was a pretty small corporate site that would only need a couple of days to survey.
I avoided the now-obligatory, stink-eye stares from Lucy, who thankfully had been recalled to Manchester to work on the background survey work for the Whitby project. Unfortunately, James’s probing questions on my love life and Jamie’s various attributes were more difficult. Fobbing him off with my need to get back to York worked only short term. His glare told a different story; he knew me far too well to let me get away without promising to call him and dish the dirt.
***
Jamie stood there, both hands clutching the handle of her soft, brown briefcase in front of her.
“I tried to call you yesterday, but you didn’t answer. Did you get my message?”
I clutched the clipboard to my chest to protect myself from the potential onslaught that might erupt in front of me at any moment. I struggled to keep my eyes fixed on hers as Mike appeared in our vicinity with the plans I’d asked for. A voice behind me told me that the plant guy was on the phone for me again.
I had successfully avoided Jamie since my return to York almost fo
ur days before. I felt terrible for doing it, but I didn’t know what else to do. I was totally out of control. The effect she was having on me scared the hell out of me.
The look of defeat on her face as she took in the chaos around me almost broke my heart. I realised what a terrible mistake I had made. I’d thrown away a chance to be totally happy, to have that content feeling she gave me just by being in the same room, to have someone to finally share my life with.
She decided to bow out gracefully. “I can see that you’re busy. I’ll let you get back to work.”
I just stood there and watched as she walked away. I knew I didn’t have much time to salvage this situation. Grabbing the phone from Mike, I stepped outside the tent to see Jamie drive off angry for the second time. I knew better than to try and stop her in the driveway this time. Dashing towards the boundary hedge, I searched for a gap big enough to squeeze through, while informing Steve from Dixon’s Plant Hire I’d call him back within the hour to confirm our requirements for the landscaping. Slipping through a suitable gap, I jumped down onto the road, seeing Jamie’s car pull out of the driveway in my direction. I stood in the middle of the road waving my arms around like a fool. Luckily, the road was quiet. I sensed her reluctance at stopping, as her bumper stopped only inches away from my wobbly legs. Swallowing back my fear, I quickly dialled her number before pointing to my phone, hoping she would answer.
“What?” Her voice was shrill in my ear.
“Please, Jamie, I need to talk to you, please!”
“So you can dump me face-to-face?”
“Jamie, I–”
She cut me off before I could even start.
“Look, if you’re worried about work, don’t be. I’ll–”
It was my turn to cut her off. I placed my hand on her bonnet to hopefully prevent her from seeing me as a target.
“I don’t care about work. I promise I don’t want to dump you.”
I watched her lean across her car, opening the passenger door. Her voice echoed in my ear. “Get in!”
I quickly moved to the passenger side of the car in fear that she would drive off before I actually got in. “Thank you,” I breathed as I got in. I barely had a chance to close the door before we sped off down the road. Grabbing my seatbelt, I jabbed it home. “Where are we going?”
“Don’t worry, I’ll bring you back.”
Jamie manoeuvred the windy roads with ease. Taking a hard left-hand turn down a dirt road she slowly came to a standstill. Turning off the engine, we both stared straight ahead at the peaceful tree-lined track in front of us.
I looked across at her, breaking the silence. “I’m sorry I didn’t call you back.” Placing my hand on her thigh, I felt the warmth of her skin through her trousers. She turned towards me at my touch. I tried to explain my actions in the hope she could forgive me. “I really, really like you and … well it’s … I’m just not used to it. I’ve been more of a quick fling kind of girl in the past, but I want more than that with you and frankly it scares the shit out of me.” It felt like my words all joined together as they spilled out.
I saw a flash of a smile appear on her face, before a frown appeared just as quickly. “Are you trying to tell me you’ve never had a serious relationship?”
“Pretty much,” I said, embarrassed at my own confession. Turning my body to face her, I leant the side of my head back against the headrest. Jamie adjusted her body, copying my position. My hand slipped to her inner thigh and our faces were only inches apart. “But I want to be different with you,” I said, quietly.
“I’m not too sure of your methods so far.”
I allowed a small grin to appear on my face. “I know I’ve made a mess of it already. I truly am sorry for that. The last thing I wanted to do is hurt you, Jamie. I just didn’t know what to do.”
“I thought we were getting on really well.”
I could hear the disappointment in her words. Where do I start? “We have. The last few weeks have been fantastic. You’ve managed to turn my world upside down. I’m not sure I can explain it. You’ve really gotten under my skin. You’ve made me want so much more.”
She was still quiet as I reached out, taking her hand. Her nails were so trimmed and neat compared to mine, caked in soil.
“I know it’s ridiculous to get to the age of thirty-two and never to have had a serious relationship. I guess I’m a commitment-phobe or something. It’s not a conscious decision. I just liked the no-strings lifestyle … till I met you. It fitted into my life, with traveling around a lot for work. As much as I like changing landscapes I don’t like change in my personal life. It scares me. Some of my clothes are over fifteen years old because I don’t like buying new ones.” Her frown lessoned slightly at my words.
“What exactly are you scared of?”
I felt my eyes bulge with tears. I looked down at my hand, still secreted between her thighs, to escape her gaze. “Ironically, screwing up … a bit like now. The thought of someone like you wanting to be with me … I just don’t feel good enough for you.” I felt two fingers lift my chin, bringing me back to her eye line.
“Robin, you’re one of the most amazing, fascinating people I’ve ever met.”
I shook my head in disbelief at her words as I focused on the interior of her car. I realised the faint aroma of apples was coming from the red, apple-shaped air freshener hanging from the rear-view mirror. I’d never been inside a new Mini, it looked pretty space-age compared to my Roadster, mainly due to the fact I never used the foldaway sat-nav; it was all on show here.
“Why now?”
I looked up at her words. Meeting her gaze, I said honestly, “You’ve made me want more for myself. I want what other people have. I want a lover, a partner. I want to be with you.”
“That’s a pretty good start.” Her hand moved to the side of my face where it softly caressed my cheek. “I want that, too,” she said, her eyes locked on mine.
I leant forward a little more, pressing my lips against hers. I couldn’t deny the warmth I felt as she responded to my advances. I wanted her now more than ever. I slipped my fingers inside her waistband and using it as leverage, I pulled her towards me. I needed to feel her next to me; I needed to know that the bridges I had burnt could be repaired. She managed to scramble in my direction, eventually coming to rest astride me. I pulled her down for a tender kiss. Her warm tongue skirted along my bottom lip before diving inside to tussle with my own. Moments later, I could feel us both slipping back. I broke away from our kiss, releasing an expletive as we came to an abrupt stop.
“I thought we could use a little more room,” Jamie said with a laugh before leaning in for another toe-curling kiss.
My hands roamed over her body as I feared there wasn’t enough room to do what I really wanted to do. Then my phone rang twice in quick succession. I managed to ignore it completely. Unfortunately, Jamie didn’t. Sitting up, she rested an elbow on my shoulder then used her hand to support her head.
“I better take you back before they send out a search party. Maybe we could pick this up later?”
I ran my hands along her thighs as I noted her questioning tone. “I’d like that.”
Jamie gracefully returned to her seat, starting the car she pulled away at a more sedate pace than earlier. She slowed down as we neared Bonnington Hall. “Shall I drop you off here so you can slip through the hedge again?”
I looked across to see a grin on her face. “Umm, no thanks. The driveway will be fine, thank you.”
She slowly pulled up near the large tent off the drive.
“Here we are. You can get back to your plant buying.”
My frown must have said it all.
“Isn’t that what you were doing before?”
The lightbulb finally went on – plant. “No, no, I was sorting out what machinery we needed to do the landscaping. It’s plant equipment,” I clarified.
“Oh, right.”
“So …” I held onto the door release lever. “I’
ll see you later then. I could pick up dinner on the way over?” I leant back towards her, kissing her softly on the lips before getting out.
“Or we could order in,” she offered with a wink before driving away.
Walking into the tent, I tried to avoid the odd looks from Mike and Pete. I guessed they had witnessed my strange exit earlier. Not wanting to have to explain my actions, I decided to walk the various fields at Bonnington, plotting the routes for the plant equipment to prevent damage to delicate areas. Picking up a walkie-talkie, barrier tape and a stack of metal pegs I headed off to the areas that were due to be heavily landscaped. After marking a couple of routes, I could see there were a number of wild flowers along the way that were in line to be crushed by diggers and lorries. I felt a shade of regret for them, even though churning up the ground could spread them even more across the site. Throwing caution to the wind, I selected a number of Greater Stitchworts, Dame’s-violets and a few others, making sure I only picked where there were multiple flowers. The audacity of my actions had not gone unnoticed to me; I was now picking flowers for a woman I had tried to extract from my life for my own good.
On my return to the base tent, I was thankful it was empty. Setting the flowers on the bench I cut the top off a bottle of water, ensuring there was enough water to keep them fresh till I reached Jamie’s place. Retrieving my laptop from my car, I wrote up the notes on the plant routes, plotting them on a scaled plan of the site. Before leaving Bonnington Hall, I dug around in my car for something more presentable to wrap the flowers up. Settling for some large graph paper, I pulled the flowers from the water and gently rolled the paper around them, securing it with a hairband.
As I drove I thought of how I could show Jamie I was serious about wanting to be with her. Taking her back home with me, showing her where and how I lived, seemed like the best option. It was a big step for me but I didn’t want Jamie to know quite how big it was in case she thought I was going too fast.
Out of The Blue Page 9
