Kate had sent her an early copy of Vivienne’s book.
“Donna,” Kate smiled. “It’s good to see you!” They hugged briefly, and then the woman turned to the others.
“Candy. Hi, Love. Great to see you. Loved the new book.” Donna hugged Candice and then turned to Chris. “And of course, good to see you again, too. You look dashing as always.”
Chris smiled and nodded, “Nice to see you.”
Donna turned to Kate, “Look, I’m so sorry to interrupt, but Kate, I got that book you sent me, The Summer I Died. God, Kate, it’s unreal. I couldn’t put it down. It’s breathtaking.”
“Wow, Katie. What a review, right here on the show floor.” Candice smiled, “Now you have me wondering about this book!”
Vivienne started to fidget.
Kate beamed, “I’m so glad you liked it, Donna. In fact, I have the author right here.” Kate turned to Vivienne. “Meet Riley O’Connor.”
Donna almost leapt at Vivienne who took a step back. “My goodness, you’re so young!” Donna exuded, “My darling girl, this book is exquisite. Every library in the country should have at least ten copies!”
“Th-thank you,” Vivienne said quietly.
“Have you written before? Been published anywhere?”
Kate watched Vivienne closely. For a moment, she thought the excitement of her first fan, would overwhelm her.
“I-I’ve not written before. Just you know, poems and stuff.”
Donna nodded and smiled, a big, broad smile. “‘Poems and stuff.’ My God, Child, you are blessed with talent.” She turned to Kate, “I expect this will be another hit for you, like Allan’s book.”
Kate put a hand on Vivienne’s back, steadying her.
“Well, we all hope so, Donna, and thanks for letting me know you liked it.”
“Liked it?! I loved it. Now you don’t mind if I share this with a few people, do you?”
Kate shook her head and smiled, “Not at all. Share it with whomever you like. But it’s early. We’re still working through some final book details, so keep that in mind.”
“Of course. Look, I have an appointment to get to, but I just had to stop and tell you that Lavigne House has another hit on their hands with this one. I just know it.”
“Thank you, Donna. I’m so appreciative of the feedback.”
Donna hugged her and then pecked Candice on the cheek. “I’m off.”
She winked at Chris, who only smiled.
“Well, Kid, sounds you’re quite the talent,” Chris winked at her, and for a moment, Vivienne thought she would pass out right there on the floor of Book Expo America.
CHAPTER 36
“Vivienne, are you okay?”
After they left Candice and Chris, Kate ushered Vivienne to the back of the aisle, which seemed a bit quieter.
“Y-yeah, I’m okay, but I need to find the ladies’ room.”
“Sure, let’s go. Come with me. The ones on this floor are always packed. Let’s go downstairs.”
Vivienne followed Kate down a set of stairs into a darker part of the expo. They found a long, sterile, semi-dark hallway, and Kate spotted the ladies room.
“There you go; I’ll wait outside.”
Vivienne nodded and went in. Kate checked her phone and found a text from Mac.
How’s it going, Babe?
A few texts from Annabelle, Lulu, and Rebecca; they were headed over this afternoon. Maybe they could all grab dinner later.
Sure, let’s do that. We have the Publishers Weekly party tonight, too, Kate responded.
Five or so minutes ticked by, then ten. Suddenly, Kate became concerned and walked inside.
“Vivienne, are you okay?” The bathroom was still dark. The girl hadn’t even bothered to turn on the lights. Kate could hear some quiet sobbing.
“Vivienne?” There were about twenty stalls. Kate flipped on the lights. She bent down until she found a pair of feet and knocked. The door wasn’t locked. She opened it and she saw Vivienne hunched over crying.
“Viv, are you okay? Come here.” Kate pulled her out of the stall and Vivienne started crying harder. Kate pulled her into her arms and was almost surprised that the girl let her.
Between sobs she said, “I’m scared, Kate. That woman, the reviewer, she was so…”
“Excited?” Kate said, gently stroking her back to try and calm her down.
“Yeah, and, and, I don’t know. What she said, just…” Vivienne continued to cry.
“It’s overwhelming. I know,” Kate said and, in fact, she did know. Few authors didn’t have some sort of breakdown when they realized what was happening. Their entire world was about to change.
“I’m scared, Kate. What if everyone hates it? What if she’s the only one who likes it?”
“Vivienne, I don’t know that she won’t be. But that’s the risk you take when you publish. Some people will love it and some will hate it. You have to be strong and believe in your work, because you can’t worry about pleasing everyone.”
Kate remembered a time when she felt that way—that she had to please everyone, and she soon realized early in her career she could never do that.
Ever.
As long as she did what was right for the book and the author, that was all that mattered.
“I do believe in my work, but…”
“You know Expo can be overwhelming. The sounds, the people. Meeting Mr. Big.” She heard a soft laugh erupt from the young girl.
Kate pulled back slightly and brushed a red curl from Vivienne’s porcelain face.
“When your uncle and I first became friends, he told me that his best feedback came from the people who didn’t gush. The people who said, ‘I loved this but that not so much,’ were the ones who helped him create and become the great writer he was. Some people will be cruel. You have to ignore them and just focus on the good and helpful things that come from this. And I’ll protect you from any of it I can. I promise.”
Vivienne smiled at her. “I’m sorry I was so mean to you.” She said gently, “You’re really nice. I can see why my brother loved you so much.”
Kate thought her heart would stop and for a moment. She suppressed her own sob. Vivienne’s heartfelt words touched her deeply. It wasn’t because she needed to win the girl over, but somehow having Vivienne not hate her meant a lot to Kate.
“I want to go back in,” Vivienne said finally.
“Are you sure?” Kate frowned, “I can put you in a cab.”
Vivienne shook her head, “No, Uncle Allan would want that, for me to stay, and so would Nick. I’m in this, Kate. I just…it’s just overwhelming.”
Kate put a hand on her arm. “It will be overwhelming, and you’ll have times when you just need to escape it. When that happens, listen to it and get out or shut down or whatever you have to do.”
Vivienne nodded and sniffed. “I will, and Kate…thank you. You’ve been nicer to me than, well than I sometimes deserved.”
“I don’t fault you for looking out for your brother at all. What happened was…” Kate paused for a moment and thought about her next words carefully, “really sad.”
They were quiet for a moment. The conversation had taken the kind of turn that made the air heavy. Kate felt like the bathroom was running out of oxygen.
“Come on, let’s go.”
They went back upstairs and Kate observed how quickly Vivienne pulled herself together. She was young, but she was tough. No doubt the early losses in her life had driven her to adapt quickly. It also caused her to build a wall around her and her brother so that nothing could ever hurt either of them again. Kate knew that while Vivienne’s words were genuine, there was still a distance between them, and likely there always would be. She didn’t need to be friends with all of her authors, but Kate wanted to befriend Vivienne, or at least give her a reason to not hate her so much. Maybe in some small sense, gaining Vivienne’s forgiveness would absolve her, at least partially, of breaking the heart of Nicholas Lavigne.
> The hall buzzed with excitement, which meant someone important was on the floor. Kate was certain of it. She tried to get her bearings; next up they were headed to the Publishers Weekly booth. She looked overhead for aisle numbers.
“You just missed Edward.” The scratchy voice was unmistakable. Like nails on a chalkboard.
Kate turned slowly to see Pete, her former co-worker and known hanger-on, standing in front of her.
“Hello, Pete,” she said flatly. “Sorry, we’re in a hurry.”
“Who’s your friend?” Pete nodded to Vivienne and smiled; his smile made Kate’s stomach turn. She recalled a time when she was still at Morris & Dean and Pete had spent most of his days trying to find ways to undermine her and stick his nose where it didn’t belong. Then came the day when he’d thrown her under the bus, when an author she worked with faked dozens and dozens of reviews.
“Pete, we’re busy.”
Pete stood a little taller, “MD promoted me to editor. I have my own book line.”
The Loser’s Guide to the Universe, no doubt, she thought.
“I’m sure you do.”
“Edward was here. Did you hear the news?” Pete kept barreling forward. Kate felt like punching him.
“Yes, Pete. Heard the news, thanks.”
Kate pulled out her map. No matter how many times she’d been to Expo, it still felt like a maze to her. Kate turned away from Pete. Vivienne stood silently beside her.
“So, you’re a publisher now?”
His need to continue the conversation grated on her.
“Pete, we’re off. Good luck.” Kate nodded to the village idiot and looked at Vivienne, “Let’s go.”
When they were out of earshot, Vivienne said, “God, that guy gave me the creeps. Who was he?”
“Vermin. Stay as far away from that troll as you can. I used to work with him, and he’s a hideous human.”
Vivienne nodded, “Oh, okay.”
Kate turned to her. “Sorry, I don’t usually spew like that. It’s not really professional, but Pete is bad news all the way around.”
“Got it,” a slight smile appeared on the girl’s face. Clearly Kate had issues with the awkward young man. “I’ll keep my distance.”
Kate looked around. “Okay, here we are.” They turned down an aisle and headed up to the large Publishers Weekly booth.
“Kate Mitchell, great to see you!” It was Rosemary Anders, an editor at another publishing house. She and Mac often vied for the same books. Rosemary and Mac had been good friends for years. Although Rosemary was well into her late sixties, she never seemed to slow down or, for that matter, retire.
“Rosemary, hi, it’s good to see you again.” Kate gave her a peck on the cheek.
Rosemary turned to Vivienne. “Hi, I’m Rosemary Anders from St. Martins.”
“Riley O’Connor,” Vivienne smiled. Remembering her pen name was starting to get easier.
“Oh, Riley, yes. We loved your book, but Kate was too crafty for us.” She winked at Kate.
“This book is going to be huge, and everyone at Martins will be kicking themselves for not upping the ante on this one.” She smiled and Vivienne immediately liked her.
Rosemary turned back to Kate, her brow furrowed in deep concern.
“Katie, I’m so sorry to hear about Mac’s wife…Oh, sorry,” her eyes sparked as she realized what she’d said, “I mean ex-wife.”
Everyone seemed to have a hard time remembering that he was no longer married to Carolyn, including Kate.
“Yes,” Kate nodded, “it’s very sad.”
“I hear Mac is doing everything he can to help. That’s so nice of him. Mac’s such a good guy.”
Kate’s eyes darted to Vivienne. The last thing the girl needed to hear was what an angel Mac was or, for that matter, that he had gone to care for his ex-wife.
“So, he’s with her now? He emailed me to say they’re in Los Angeles. I think he said City of Hope?”
“Yes, yes, he and his boys took her.” Rosemary leaned closer, her voice dropped, “Is she terminal?”
“They thought so. I’m not sure. I guess we’ll hope for the best.”
Rosemary took Kate’s hands. Vivienne fidgeted beside her.
“I’m so sorry, Katie. How hard this must be on both of you. I know Mac’s been gone for a while, too.”
A tiny bead of sweat formed on her temple. “Yes, but he comes back…you know, when he can.”
“You’re such a dear for being so understanding about this.” Rosemary gave her a half-smile and then pursed her lips. “Must be so hard.”
“It’s really hard on Mac; I just need to support him.” She needed to change the subject and fast. “So, we’re off to Publishers Weekly. Let’s catch up soon, Rosemary.”
“Of course. I’d love to. Riley, it was nice to meet you; I’ve heard nothing but wonderful things about your book.”
“Thank you,” Vivienne said quietly.
They turned and headed up the aisle.
“I’m sorry,” Vivienne said in a low voice. Kate turned to her.
“About what?”
“The ex-wife. What’s wrong with her?”
“Ovarian cancer,” Kate’s voice was flat.
“Oh. Wow. I’m sorry.”
“Yeah, it’s rough on the boys, especially.”
“It’s not easy losing a parent,” Vivienne’s voice trembled slightly.
Kate turned to her. Certainly Vivienne would know first-hand what that was like.
“No, it’s not easy at all. I’m hopeful that something can be done and they won’t have to face that for a while.”
Kate thought again about Andrew’s words, about the therapist and Grace’s urging to live differently. Maybe it was time she did.
CHAPTER 37
“Hello, dear friend,” Kate smiled, “I thought I would drop in for a little visit. I always miss you around this time of year. I know you never cared for Book Expo, but I just get so sentimental knowing that another season will go by without a new Allan Lavigne book.”
Kate paused by the gravesite, then she knelt down and put the large bag she was carrying on the soft grass beside the headstone. She added the flowers to a small, cement flower holder and filled it with the water she’d brought. It was a bouquet of daisies, which were Allan’s favorite. Kate opened the sac and then looked at the headstone. It read:
Allan Nicholas Lavigne
Born November 24, 1940
Died December 22, 2012
Beloved Uncle, Great friend, Talented Author
Writing is its own reward.
- Henry Miller
“I miss you so much.”
A familiar emotion curled around her throat. There wasn’t a week that went by that she didn’t wish Allan had lived to see what his legacy had created.
“You should see your niece. Allan, she is so talented, just like you were.” Kate gently touched his headstone.
Off in the distance, yet closer than he would have liked, Nick stood under a grove of trees. He had come there to visit his uncle, but when he saw her walk up, he ducked away figuring he’d give her some privacy. And he caught a glimpse of her face and spotted a look he recognized. She clearly needed some alone time with Allan.
However, he did want to forge a more congenial relationship with her, as they had the other day, he knew he needed to limit his exposure to Kate.
Too much of Kate was never a good thing. The brief time they’d spent in his apartment had stuck with him for days, and that wasn’t good.
He had moved on. Well, sort of. Stephanie was becoming a part of his life and slowly but surely filling the hole Kate’s absence left behind.
Nick wanted to walk away and leave her, but her motions were mesmerizing. He moved behind the trees to give her more privacy, but her words, a few of them at a time, were carried over.
“I promise I’ll take good care of her for you,” Kate continued. She pulled a stack of books from the bag she’d brought with her.
Kate opened the book and held it towards the headstone.
“Did you ever think you’d see that? Your brilliance in Chinese? And then there’s this one,” She opened another book, “Dutch! They adore you in Holland. Can’t get enough of this book there.”
Nick watched as she set the books down on his grave and stacked them neatly.
“These are for you, my dear friend,” He could hear her say.
Then, Kate started to softly cry and it took every ounce of his resolve not to walk over to her.
“Allan, I don’t know what to do about Mac. I’m sure you’re pissed that I broke Nick’s heart, so I really do understand if you’d rather I not talk about Mac…”
She trailed off, as though waiting for a reply. The summer wind rustled the trees.
“I know I should support him and I’m trying, but I wish... I don’t know. I wish he wasn’t so guilt racked. It’s like he blames himself that she got cancer.”
Nick’s ears picked up the word “cancer,” and for a moment he thought that Kate was talking about herself. His heart kicked in his throat and a hand gripped the tree.
Kate pulled her knees up under her chin and hugged them tight. Nick could tell she was still crying. A part of him, a large part, bigger than he cared to admit, wanted to rush over to her and stroke her hair and tell her everything is going to be all right, just like he used to when they lived together in his home in San Marino.
Nick held his breath for a moment and then stepped out from behind the trees to walk over to her, but some invisible force stopped him and he stepped back.
That echoing sense of rejection that wouldn’t fade away and the crushing pain that followed Kate’s departure. He couldn’t get caught up in her life again, he wouldn’t.
Still, she was there and she needed a friend. She needed him.
He couldn’t, he wouldn’t. Not again. Nick ducked out of the cemetery before Kate saw him.
Climax: The Publicist, Book Three Page 13
