Nick chuckled, “Your what?”
“She said my love live has been on a perpetual spin cycle.”
He kissed her hair and chuckled, “Well, some of that is true.”
“But regardless, Nick, I love you, and I will always love you, and whatever it takes to show you that and maybe get a second chance, I will do it.”
“Kate, I…” He stopped short of telling her he loved her, too.
Too soon. Too much wreckage. Too much baggage.
“It’s okay, you don’t have to say anything.” She turned on her side to him and stroked his chest. “In fact, you don’t have to say anything at all, but let me show you.”
Kate moved on top of him and kissed him and they made love again. And again.
CHAPTER 108
Kate woke the next morning and felt the glow from making love to Nick running through her body like a warm, sensual electrical current. Still coming out of her sleep, she pushed her foot to touch his leg. She kept stretching her leg across and then her arm. The bed was big, but not that big. Kate sat up with a jolt and called his name.
No answer.
She reached for her robe, threw it on, and went looking for him.
Maybe he was making breakfast, she thought, but in the pit of her stomach she knew that wasn’t true. The house was silent and something else felt odd, but she couldn’t quite put her finger on it.
Uncertainty?
Regret? She could feel it as though Nick had left traces of it throughout the house.
Nick was gone, and so with him went that wonderful current that was pulsing through her body. Kate pulled the robe tightly around her. That’s when she spotted the note on the counter.
Kate,
I’ve caught the first flight back to LA. Your ticket is booked for tomorrow morning, and I’ve hired a driver to take you. They will call you today with pick-up details.
I’m sorry Kate, I just can’t.
Nick
I’m sorry, I can’t.
Her hand started to shake as she read the note, then a tear fell from her eyes, then another and another.
Nick was gone. Back to his life.
Of course he was. What did she expect?
A sudden reunion of all is forgotten and forgiven? Kate took the note, walked outside, and dropped herself onto the lounge chair where not eight hours ago he’d kissed her. Her lips still throbbed from his kisses. She put a finger to her lips, touching them, hoping to find traces of him there.
His kisses had been deeply passionate, urging her on for more, demanding more. He had pressed his mouth into hers with such emotion and so much wanting.
Kate dropped the note on the chair and curled herself into a ball and cried.
What had she done? Nick was not some flotation device that she could grab onto when she felt she was drowning.
Your seat cushion acts as a flotation device in case of an emergency landing in water.
Her life was in shambles, or as Dr. Death called it, “the spin cycle.” Much to her chagrin, Dr. Death had been right. She wanted to call Grace and talk it out with her, but she knew she shouldn’t. She needed to figure this out on her own.
A quote from an old book came back to her suddenly: If you want to get off the rollercoaster, stop buying a ticket.
Indeed, it was time to get off the ride.
CHAPTER 109
Stephanie arrived at Nick’s house and let herself in with a key. He’d texted her that he’d be home soon and he had something he needed to discuss with her. As she slipped the key in the lock, she got an odd feeling in the pit of her stomach.
Can you be at the house? I’ll be there around noon.
There was something about the text that didn’t sit well with her. He’d paused them. God, she hated that word. Then they’d fought while he was in Mexico and she blamed herself for it. If she was going to stay in Nick’s good graces and get back on track, she had to practice more restraint, more understanding. But how the hell was a girl supposed to understand when her once-boyfriend-now-pause-buddy races off to find his ex-fiancé in Mexico?
As she walked into the house, Stephanie realized what she had to do. There was one way to make sure Nick was “in.”
. . . .
Before the plane even touched down in Los Angeles International Airport, Nick knew he had to tell Stephanie what happened in Mexico. It wasn’t fair to her to keep stringing her along or giving her any kind of hope. He cared for her a great deal, in fact, but he did not love her. He suspected she was in love with him. Well, certainly she’d told him she was, but Stephanie had a tendency to throw endearments out like confetti. Her actions, however, proved she was deeply connected to him. She had been by his side, an understanding and dutiful friend or girlfriend, but he never actually thought of her that way despite the fact that they’d been sleeping together. A lot. It wasn’t fair to her to lead her on, let her into his house, into his life, and let her believe they had a future when he knew they did not.
When he woke up that morning beside Kate, he’d watched her sleep and thought about his life, her life, and the end of their relationship. He was pretty certain that if he’d stayed, Kate would have done the right thing and owned the passionate lovemaking and not just blown it off as a moment of hormone-induced brain fog. But he didn’t want that. He didn’t want Kate to own it. He wanted her to want it, because as he laid there and watched her sleep, he realized that he what he thought was some residual love dust left in the wake of the demolition of their relationship was, in fact, love.
He loved Kate. As much or more than he ever had. He was not about to put himself in the line of fire while she picked up her life and tried to figure things out with Mac, because he knew, in the end, they would figure things out. They always did.
. . . .
Nick pushed the door open and was greeting with the smell of something baking. He sniffed the air. It smelled like lemon and pound cake. As he closed the door, Stephanie ran into the entryway, apron on, wearing the biggest smile she could muster. She threw her arms around Nick.
“I’m so glad you’re home. I’ve missed you.” She hugged him tight. Her heart pounded in her ears. She could sense it; something definitely did not feel right. “I’ve made your favorite lemon pound cake for dessert, and lunch is set up on the patio.”
Nick wrapped a steady arm around her. He did not pull her to him. She noticed that immediately. When she went to kiss him, he barely responded. Every possible red alarm went off in her head.
Nick stepped back and pulled out of Stephanie’s embrace. “Steph, can we talk?” Without waiting for her response, he took her hand and led her to the living room.
“W-what’s wrong, Nick?” she asked, trying to pretend she did not hear the thread of stress in his voice.
Nick sat down on the couch and then motioned for her to come and sit by him. “Sit with me for a minute.” He smiled only slightly. Stephanie could feel her heart racing.
She sat down. Her body felt rigid; she won herself some mental space by asking, “How was the flight?”
Nick blinked, “Fine. It was fine. But I need to tell you something.”
Now or never, she thought.
“What’s wrong, Honey?” Stephanie smiled again. She had to force it a bit, but she was sure he didn’t notice. She reached up and stroked his hair. Nick took her hand and put it back in her lap.
Oh, God, she thought. This is it.
“Steph, something happened in Mexico,” Nick started.
She licked her lips and said quietly, “Something happened here, too.”
Nick frowned. “Are you okay?” His genuine concern was evident.
Stephanie nodded and folded her hands in her lap.
“Steph, I need to tell you something.”
Stephanie’s head shot up. “Nick, I need to tell you something first.” Her voice shook. She needed to steady herself. Taking a deep breath, she forged ahead. “While you were gone, I found out something that you should know.”
“I’m pregnant.” The words were inside her head and then out of her mouth before she realized it.
She could actually see the phrase “I’m pregnant” explode between them—like a bomb going off in slow motion, shards of it scattering everywhere.
“You’re what?”
CHAPTER 110
Kate always found refuge in her work, and this time was no different. The minute she got back to New York, Kate threw herself into her work, hoping somehow it would ease the pain of the past month.
There was a lot to do, especially around Vivienne’s book release. Thanks to losing Mac as a member of the team, she had a lot of loose ends to take care of. Rebecca had agreed to take most of Mac’s authors, except for Estella Travers, who was becoming more high maintenance than ever. Kate thought back to the day when Estella had stomped into her office and demanded a TV show. Kate was really sorry she’d let Mac talk her into this project, especially now when they were short-handed.
“Dear Estella, so good to get your many emails,” Kate wrote in a brief response to her.
The author had sent twenty-seven emails, to be exact.
“I’ve just returned to the office, and am getting caught up on your project and our spring 2015 release of your book. I will be in touch.”
Kate used “I will be in touch” to hopefully deter Estella from sending a dozen more emails insisting on a call about her marketing plan or something. It wasn’t even fall yet. There was plenty of time for a book not launching until spring.
Kate had been back three days already. Her first order of business had been to apologize profusely to her team who had thought she’d been kidnapped in Mexico. She did, however, avoid any questions about where she was and who found her, although she assumed that since Lulu had issued the 9-1-1, everyone knew that she’d gone MIA and that Nick had come to her rescue. But it didn’t matter. She’d come back to New York with a new attitude and a sharper look at her future. She was now the sole head of Lavigne House. She needed to find an editor—good one. Although she had initially wanted to rush the process, now she decided to take her time and find the exact right person. Filling the gap Mac left would not be easy, and she wanted to do it right. God knows the last thing she or her people needed was an editor who couldn’t cut it.
Kate was deep into her work when there was a tap at the door. “Can I come in?” Rebecca poked her head in and smiled.
“Of course. Come in. Sit down. Save me from another email from Estella.”
Rebecca walked in and plopped herself down in one of Kate’s chairs. “How many did she send?”
Kate rolled her eyes. “Twenty-seven, I think. Maybe more.”
“God, no!”
Kate nodded, “She’s a handful. I’d drop her book like radioactive waste if Mac hadn’t insisted that we sign her. And regardless of what happened, I do trust his opinion.”
Rebecca smiled. She’d known Mac and Kate from Morris & Dean and had seen firsthand how they’d fallen in love.
“I haven’t really had a chance to tell you, Kate, but I’m really sorry about what happened.”
No one knew the details, but everyone knew Mac’s reputation. The breakup spoke for itself. Kate shrugged, “We had a good run.”
And that they did, until the run ended.
“Look, I know this isn’t any of my business, but you and Mac feel like family. If I’m out of place asking this, let me know. But is there any hope of the two of you getting back together?”
“No,” Kate said without hesitation, and she meant it. She also didn’t elaborate, which signaled to Rebecca that it was a good time to change the subject.
“So, listen, I need to ask you about some of these titles we have coming up. Mac’s handed most of them to me and they’re in great shape, but I just have some questions. And I know Mac wasn’t handling the Riley book, but do you need me to step in on that at all?”
Kate hesitated. It was time to bring Rebecca in on their little secret. “Listen, Rebecca, about Riley’s book. I need to tell you something pretty extraordinary. “
“What is it?”
“Riley’s real name is Vivienne Lavigne. She’s Allan’s niece.”
Rebecca blinked. “What? His niece? Why is she writing under a pen name?”
Kate explained the entire situation to Rebecca and concluded by telling her that Vivienne had had a change of mind, that she would be revealing who she was just prior to Maeve’s book signing.
“That’s a brilliant idea.” Rebecca smiled. She knew Maeve, too, and everyone loved her and did whatever they could to support her store.
“Thanks. I’m really excited about this book. You’ve read it?” Kate smiled.
“In one breath, I can’t believe how well she writes for someone so young.”
Kate nodded, “It’s like reading Allan again for the first time.”
“It is. Well, listen, I’ll let you get back to it. Oh, and I have a few résumés from some great candidates for the editor position I want to send to you.”
“Excellent, thank you!” Kate was glad for Rebecca’s references; she knew a lot of really fantastic and talented people.
Kate had called Grace as soon as she landed in New York and promised to see her before the week was out. That was now three days ago, and she knew that sooner or later she’d have to see her friend and bring her up to speed. She just wasn’t ready to share what had happened in Mexico with anyone until she was certain what she’d do about it. Kate walked up Fifth and headed to Joe’s Pub. It was already August, and things in New York were slowing down as they always did in the final month of summer. The city wasn’t empty but almost felt that way. The tourists, most of them at least, had gone home because the weather in August was often brutal, and publishing slowed to a crawl. Kate pushed the door open to Joe’s and Grace smiled at her. When Kate walked up she hugged her tightly.
“God, I was so worried about you.”
Kate sighed. Damn that phone and damn that she didn’t check to make sure the message went through. Although if she had checked, Grace wouldn’t have sent Nick. A shuttershot memory flashed in her mind. She and Nick were at the house.
For a split second, Kate was back at the house with Nick.
They were naked and kissing.
Fingers snapped in her face. “Hey, earth to Kate. You there?”
Kate shook her head to try and dislodge the image. She nodded. “Yes, yes. Sorry, I just, it’s been a busy time since I’ve been back.”
Grace motioned to the bartender for Kate’s drink. “Sorry,” she said, “I should have pre-ordered it for you.”
Kate slid onto a barstool; Grace had confiscated a tall table against the wall that offered them some privacy. Once she was certain she’d gotten the bartender’s attention and the order was placed, she turned back to her friend.
“Now, spill.” She smiled.
“Can I wait for my drink?”
“You can drink mine.” Grace slid her wine in Kate’s direction.
“That’s fine. I’ll wait.” She waved a hand and realized she was trying to buy time. She knew that the minute she told Grace the truth of what happened, she’d be all over it.
“I spoke with Nick today,” Grace said.
Kate felt the color drain out of her face. “Oh?” She tried to sound nonchalant, but she knew it was almost impossible to hide the spike in her voice.
Grace narrowed her eyes. There was no fooling that girl.
“I just wanted to thank him, you know, for saving your ass from a Mexican prison.” She paused for a second and added, “He sounded odd.”
Kate shrugged, “He was probably busy.” Kate’s drink arrived; she took a sip, buying more time.
“So, what happened in Mexico?”
“What makes you think anything happened?” She took a second sip, then another. This might be a three-cosmo evening.
“He sounded odd and you lo
ok guilty as hell. Now spill. What happened between you two?”
There was no sense lying to Grace or trying in any way to skirt the truth. She was a human lie detector. Kate felt the drink working; she’d skipped lunch, so the vodka on an empty stomach hit her quickly.
“We should order some food.”
“Stop trying to stall.” Grace leaned forward. “I know something happened down there.”
Kate flagged a server. “I’m serious, Grace. I haven’t eaten. If I drink much more, I’ll be a wreck. Cheese fries please,” she said to the server.
“Extra cheese,” Grace added.
The server left and Grace pinned Kate with her stare.
“Fine,” Kate finally said, “Nick and I, eh, got together in Mexico.”
For a moment, Kate thought that Grace would explode with excitement. Her hands flew to her mouth, but they could not contain a smile that almost consumed her face. Then her hands grabbed Kate’s. “Oh, Honey, I’m so happy for you two.”
Kate sipped again. Good Vodka. Do your thing.
“No, Grace, that’s not how it is. We made love and he left without saying goodbye. He left a note that said, ‘I can’t,’ which pretty much clears up any hope of anything happening.”
Grace waved a hand. “That’s just his first reaction. Honey, Nick loves you. He wants this as much as you do.”
“Grace, look, I appreciate this. I really do, but Nick doesn’t want this. I mean, why would he? Because it went so well for him the first time?”
“Listen, I get it. I really do. But you have to fight for this, Kate. It’s what you need.”
Kate noticed her glass was already half empty. Pink courage—that’s what she and Grace used to call a cosmo when she’d have one to get up the courage to walk over and introduce herself to some guy she’d been eyeing. But this, this was entirely different.
“Grace, listen. I can’t do this. I mean, not now, not yet. I haven’t even been out of my relationship with Mac for a month. I can’t just fly to LA, show up at Nick’s door, and ask him to just forget all the crap that happened between us. This really has to be his idea.”
Climax: The Publicist, Book Three Page 37
