Neil: I have a few things I found of yours. Also, I think I left some stuff at your place.
I’m sure he did, but a few weeks after I found him and Piper together, I burned it. I took everything and anything I could find of his and set it on fire.
At first, I wanted to hold on to anything that was his. Even with how our breakup happened, I loved him. A part of me hoped we could reconnect, find a way to get past everything and move forward. But he never called. I held on to the false ideas of what our life was like—how we loved once and how wonderful he had been. All of those memories I latched on to so tight, hoping if I squeezed hard enough, they’d be enough. But they weren’t.
“You know none of this is your fault, right? He did all of this,” Ashton says while snatching the ice cream from my grasp.
“I know, I know. I want to stop thinking about him and move on, but he was my life for five years. I hate him so much, but then there’s this small piece of me that won’t let go.”
The worst part was when I was depressed. I was barely eating, forgetting things all the time, and the tears were pretty much constant. Days were lost like that. Work was the only place I could function, the only place that wasn’t tainted by memories of Neil and Piper. I could be me there, or at least some semi-normal version of me.
Now I’m in the anger stage, which is working out just fine. Every time I’ve had to explain why I cancelled the wedding, I’ve relived what he did. It’s been humiliating. I’d rather deal with a hundred rabid reporters than call my family to explain how my fiancé cheated and then broke up with me because he needed “more.” I remember the way he was so callous, so emotionless. The Neil I fell in love with wasn’t the same person at the end.
The memory floods back, barreling through my anger, which quickly morphs into sadness as I recall the pain. A tear forms, but I swipe it away before it can descend. Crying is for the weak, and I will not let him break me again.
Ashton smiles and places her hand on mine. “I’m sure there’s a part of you that will always love him. But I’ll help you hold on to the hate because that’s the only emotion that douchebag is worthy of.” Her blue eyes are blazing.
“I know, Ash. I’m …” I try to find the right words. The bottom line is I’m not really sure what I am anymore. At first I worked so hard to hide it all, putting it aside so I could continue on with my life, not wanting anyone to see how badly it hurt. No one wants to be the girl that was stood up at the altar—even though we never made it there, the context is the same.
Her jaw sets and she narrows her eyes, trying to ensure that I’m listening as she says, “I say the prick did you a favor. Guys like him are never content. He would’ve done it sooner or later.”
“I’m tired. All I want is to enjoy our weekend and not think about him anymore.” I sigh and lay my head in Ashton’s lap. “It’ll get easier, won’t it?” I ask with a touch of hope.
She stares back and shakes her head. “It’s already easier. One day you won’t be sad or angry, you’ll only feel pity for him.”
“I’d like that day to be now. And I’d like him to stop texting me.” I half laugh.
Ashton swipes the hair off my face with a sad smile. “Do you remember in high school when I swore I was going to marry Stephen? I thought he was perfect. I mean he was the captain of the football team, smart, funny, fucked like an animal.” Her arched brow rises with amusement.
I laugh. “Yes, I remember Stephen the Stallion.”
I used to laugh so hard when she would call him that. She thought she’d marry him based solely on his ability to do things to her she never knew were actually possible. He doted on her, but we later found out he had a few other girls who were also receiving the benefits of his talents.
“What I wouldn’t give for another ride on that pony.” She reminisces, laughing as she returns her attention to me. “I digress. My point is he was the one who lost out. I didn’t cry. I punched him in the face, walked away, and found myself a better horse to ride.”
“I didn’t want another horse, Ash. I thought I’d finally found my white knight,” I say as a flash of loneliness stabs through my heart.
Ashton isn’t the wallowing type. She breaks up, moves on, and finds greener pastures. I’ve seen her go through her share of breakups, but she always bounces back quickly. Thing is, she doesn’t know what it’s like to get engaged, plan a wedding, and think you’re going to spend your life with someone only to have it all taken away from you.
“Well your horse wound up being a donkey. Time to put his ass where it belongs—outside.”
She’s crazy, but I love her. I smile, shaking my head at another one of her off-the-wall retorts. “You and your metaphors.”
“Okay, enough of this. Tonight’s Gretchen’s birthday. We need to get ready,” Ashton says and slaps my ass. “We have dinner plans in the city.”
“Crap!” I say, sitting up quickly. I haven’t seen Gretchen since my engagement party. She, Ashton, and I grew up together. We’ve been friends since we were eight. Gretchen lives in Manhattan and even though Ash and I work in the city, we live in New Jersey, so we barely see her.
“You better not try to back out.” She glares indignantly.
I raise my hands in mock surrender. “I’m not. I forgot. I’ll go get ready.”
“That’s my biffle!” She jumps up off the couch with a gleam in her blue eyes.
“Don’t call me that around Gretchen. You know how she feels about it since ‘she’s our best friend for life too,’” I say, imitating Gretchen’s sweet voice. She gets a little touchy when she feels we’re not including her.
Ashton grins. “She’ll be fine. I’ll call her now and let her know we’re taking a train in. Go! Move it, sister!” She grabs my hand, pulls me up, and pushes me toward my room. “We don’t have time for your shenanigans. Now go take a shower. You smell!”
“You’re a real bitch and I hate you,” I lie.
“Well, I love your smelly ass.” She giggles and runs off.
“I do not smell!” I say to her back. Then I head into my room to start getting ready.
An hour later, Ashton busts through my door looking breathtaking. She’s wearing her long hair pin straight, the fiery red strands compliment the emerald top she has on. Her black eyeliner makes her blue eyes look bolder, bring out the cobalt in the depths of her irises.
I’m wearing my dark blue dress paired with my four-inch silver stilettos. At least I’ll get an extra few inches on my five-foot-four, vertically challenged self. Ashton and Gretchen were both graced with being tall and slender, so I always feel tiny around them. My makeup is minimal, but I spent extra time curling my long brown hair into loose curls, which tumble down my back.
“Well hello, sexy! Where have you been hiding? You don’t look like you’ll be turning the big three-oh in a few months.” She nudges me as she appraises my outfit.
Maybe I have been hiding, pretending things were okay while I was finding a way to be on my own. But today is a new day.
“I’ll forever remain twenty-nine, thank you very much.”
“Sure you will. And I’m still a virgin.” She laughs and grabs the eye shadow from my bag.
My phone buzzes again.
Neil: I’ll be around tomorrow if you can meet.
I decide to respond because he’s apparently not taking the hint, no matter how hard I try.
Me: No. I’m busy.
“I’m changing my damn number.”
Ashton grabs my phone and powers it off. “No phone. No Neil. You, my love, are beautiful and we’re going to focus on that!” She places a kiss on my cheek and heads out to finish getting ready.
Dressed to the nines and excited to be going out tonight—though I’ll never admit that to Ashton—I look for the finishing touches. I rifle through the beautiful mahogany jewelry box that my father gave me for my ninth birthday. I finally find my diamond studs and go to close the lid, but my eyes get caught on the light shimmering off my e
ngagement ring snuggly sitting in the ring slot. I pull it out and look at it, remembering all the promise it once held, before putting it back in its place.
After my breakup with Neil, I started wearing a sapphire ring instead. When I took off my beautiful diamond engagement ring, my finger felt awkward, naked. Ashton convinced me that I deserved an apology gift, and since Neil and I still had a joint bank account, we went and spent a little of his money. It’s a one-carat sapphire surrounded by diamonds in a platinum setting. It’s vintage and beautiful. We call it the “Fuck You” ring.
“Let’s go, Catherine! Dinner’s in an hour and we have to get into Manhattan,” Ashton yells from the hall.
I grab my clutch and rush out of the room, ready to start putting the past where it belongs.
Behind me.
“Cat?” Gretchen jumps up when she sees me walk in with Ashton.
“Hi, Gretch!” I rush over, throwing my arms around her.
God, I’ve missed hanging out with my friends. No matter how many years or miles there are between the three of us, we’ve always been constant. When everything went down with Neil, they both rallied behind me and took care of cancelling everything. I, on the other hand, have been a shitty friend. When I’m not at work, I’m at home, so I see Ashton all the time. But I always find a way to get out of any parties or anything requiring me to leave the house.
“Hello to you too!” Ashton feigns being hurt.
“Oh Ashton, always the drama queen.” Gretchen giggles and pulls her into a giant hug. “Both my girls are here! Tonight’s already a great night.”
It’s so easy to make her happy. She’s a lawyer in one of the most affluent firms in New York City, and she’s aiming for partner within the next two years. There was a time we didn’t see her more than a few times a year because she was inundated with work, but I always understood. Work is something the three of us thrive on, always have. I’m a publicist for one of the premier companies in Manhattan, and Ashton works as an embryologist. Who would’ve thought the three of us would each find a career we love and excel at?
I look around the restaurant, taking in the unique design. I’m instantly in love with the old-world charm and kind of Tuscan feel it’s got going on. Judging from the interior, you’d never guess it was located right in the middle of the West Village.
“Any new clients, Cat?” Gretchen asks while sipping her beer.
“I have a meeting on Tuesday with a possible new client. We’re pitching against Boyce PR for this one. It’s a cosmetics company looking to expand their brand. I’m really excited. If I can land it, I think I’d be up for promotion.”
“That’s great! I’m sure you’ll get it,” Ashton says, smiling.
We laugh, catching up on work and any good gossip about people from back home.
Ashton and Gretchen are babbling on about some movie they’re both dying to see, so I glance around the room and take in the crowd. When I hear a boisterous laugh, I turn, searching for the source of the sound. When I see him my breath catches. He’s sitting at a table to my left with a few guys. There’s something about him that’s mesmerizing, something that prevents me from tearing my eyes away. His entire presence pulses with energy, demanding my attention without saying a word. He has dark hair, styled—or maybe not—in sexy disarray. His strong jaw is covered in stubble, only adding to his attraction. Though I can’t see his eyes clearly from here, I can imagine the virility within them. But it’s not just his looks, which are more than any man should be allowed to have. There’s more …
He’s commanding even in a relaxed state: confident bordering on arrogant. Every part of him is captivating.
“Earth to Catherine!” Ashton waves her hands in front of me, breaking my trance on the sexy stranger across the room.
“Sorry … too much wine.” I laugh and grab my glass, trying to keep my attention off him.
We finish our dinner and polish off another bottle. It’s been a wonderful night, filled with laughter and tons of memories of our crazy childhood. I’m glad we could spend this time together.
Gretchen clears her throat. “So … I got a call from Piper the other day. She called the office asking if we could talk. She said she needed legal advice.”
I was about to take a sip but freeze midway. My heart accelerates at the sound of her name. We all became friends with Piper during college. She was in my marketing class and also in one of Ashton’s labs. Over the years, we grew apart, but until three months ago we all considered her a friend. After what happened though, no one has spoken to her again. If hateful is what I feel toward Neil, murderous is what I feel toward Piper. What she did to me is reprehensible. No woman should ever go after someone else’s man. Which brings us to the burning question: Why, after three months, has she decided she needs legal advice from Gretchen?
Ashton chimes in quickly, “I hope you told her to take her fake-ass bullshit and shove it, and the only thing you’d represent is a case against her.”
“Oh honey, I told her that and a whole lot more. I still can’t believe she was so devious about everything. I always knew she was jealous of you and Neil, Cat, but I never believed she was capable of being so disgusting.”
Air … I need air. “I’m gonna go to the bathroom. Be right back.”
“Cat,” Ashton calls out, empathy swimming in her eyes.
“It’s fine. I’m okay.” I smile and pat her arm before heading toward the bathroom.
As I’m sliding through the tiny aisle, a chair juts out and slams into me, throwing me backward. My arms shoot out in an effort to brace myself from the inevitable fall, but two arms wrap around my torso, saving me from hitting the ground. However, I’m now sitting in a stranger’s lap.
“You okay?” a deep, throaty voice asks from behind me.
The sound of his rasp stills me, awakening all of my senses as it reverberates through my body. “Yes, thank you,” I say, trying to calm my heart rate.
“Glad I caught you.” Before I can move, his large hands grasp my hips to lift me up. His fingers wrapping around my waist may as well be flipping an internal switch inside of me. My heart kicks up, beating erratically from the warmth of his hands on my body.
I stand and turn, locking eyes with the most hypnotizing blue-green eyes I’ve ever seen. If I thought he was handsome from across the room, up close he redefines the word. He’s rendered me speechless. My eyes devour him, my mind cataloging every feature. A dimple on his left cheek, a square jaw, and an angular nose give him a rugged, almost beautiful face. Everything about him screams masculinity.
I start to wobble on my heels and he stands, placing his hands on my shoulders to steady me. I take a deep breath, inhaling the scent of crisp linen and cologne—his scent. It fills my mind, practically overwhelming me, as I commit it to memory.
“I’m so sorry,” I murmur, barely able to form words.
“No need to apologize. That asshole should’ve been more careful. Can’t say I minded, though.” His eyes crinkle in amusement.
Is he flirting with me? How sad that I don’t know for sure.
“Well …” I give a shy smile. “Thank you again for catching me.”
He stares at me, looking me up and down. Something about his gaze makes me feel naked, exposed. Here I am, standing before him, fully dressed but completely bare.
“So since I saved you from a rather embarrassing moment, how about you tell me your name?” the drop-dead gorgeous man asks in that low rasp of his.
And though every part of me feels inexplicably drawn to him, something in the back of my mind, the part that knows how off-kilter he’s knocked me, is telling me not to give it to him. I have no reason in the world to want this man, but I do and I can’t explain it, which means it’s time to walk away.
Trying to find an excuse, I look over at Gretchen and Ashton. “Sorry. I have friends waiting.” I shrug.
“Well tell them to come join us.”
I smile, looking at the two guys who keep volleyin
g their eyes between him and me. “I’ll let you boys get back to your dinner.”
I start to walk away, but he grips my arm. His touch sends shockwaves through my system, momentarily stunning me again. “Wait. Sit. Have a drink with us. This is Nathan, that’s Garrett, and I’m Jackson.”
Even his name is sexy. I’m in so much trouble. I need to get away from him and quick, before I say or do something stupid. Oh wait. I already did. As much as I would love nothing more than to sit, I’m not ready. I know exactly where this will end up—I’ll be hurt and he’ll be leaving.
“It was nice meeting you, Jackson, but I have a table waiting.”
“Don’t you think you owe me your name at least?” Jackson asks, his eyes bright with mischief.
I look down, spotting the ring on my finger. It gives me the perfect excuse to run and avoid this bizarre encounter. “I’m getting married, but thanks again for catching me.” I show Jackson my ring finger and shrug. “Sorry, I have to go,” I say and turn to leave. Who knew Neil would be good for something?
“Lucky guy,” I hear him say as I’m walking away.
I walk back to the table, forgoing the bathroom. There’s no way I’m walking past him again. Thankfully, Ashton and Gretchen are oblivious to what happened or they’d both be grilling me. My heart is racing and my body is tingling everywhere he touched. I slouch in the seat, feeling as though I’ve run a marathon. It’s been so long since a man sparked any emotion or arousal within me. I feel unmistakably alive, which scares the hell out of me.
“You okay?” Ashton asks.
“Yeah, do you think we could head out? I’m not feeling so good.”
I want to get away from this place and get myself under control. Unease is running through my veins. Foolishly, I look over and catch him smiling in my direction.
Beloved (The Belonging Series) Page 2
