“Kylene, I—”
“No, AJ, I don’t want to hear it. Yeah, you just saved my ass, and I’m quasi-grateful for that, but it hardly makes up for what you did freshman year.” He flinched at my words, his bright eyes full of pain. “Now leave me alone.”
I shoved the door open, not caring if anyone was in the hall. Jerking the door to the girls’ locker room open, I slipped in and pressed my back against the wall, trying to breathe. That moment—facing AJ—was the one I had dreaded most upon returning to Jasperville High. Up until then, I had been able to distract myself. But the minute I walked up those steps to the school, reality started to bleed to the forefront, leaving a knot of anxiety firmly planted in my chest. I was great at denying it. Pretending it wasn’t there. But when forced to stand face-to-face with him, I couldn’t pretend anymore.
My past had finally caught up with me.
And though I thought I’d made it pretty clear that I hated him and wanted nothing to do with him, I wasn’t so certain he’d gotten the message. In all the scenarios I’d played over in my head about what it would be like when our paths eventually crossed, none of them involved him saving me. That act—that one single act—wreaked havoc on my mind. That was the AJ I had known before he’d done what he did, before he’d proven to be someone else entirely. Unable to reconcile the two versions of him, my head started to ache.
Or maybe that was the concussion Donovan had given me.
I managed my way deeper into the room where my locker was, clutching my head and rubbing my chest. The pain in both was fierce and sharp. I wanted to sit down and rest and try to forget about what had just happened, but I knew that wasn’t likely. The lack of resolution from my encounter with AJ was destined to play over and over in my mind all day long.
When I rounded the wall of lockers, I found Tabby sitting on a bench, fidgeting with the hem of her shirt. Her face was full of worry.
“Holy crap, Kylene. Where have you been? I came back and you weren’t here. I thought maybe you were still in the bathroom, but I checked and all the stalls were empty. Did you wander off? Is your head okay?”
“My head is fine.” I snapped those words out with more heat than was warranted, and judging by Tabby’s expression, she felt their sting. “I’m sorry,” I said with a cleansing breath. “I just needed to do something really quick.”
“This is about Donovan, isn’t it?”
“Maybe.”
“Don’t lie to me, Ky. I almost went to get Ms. Davies because I was worried about you, but I didn’t. But I was more worried I’d get you in trouble if you were up to no good.”
“Yeah … that might have been problematic.”
“Where did you go?”
I sighed.
“The boys’ locker room.”
“Are you high?”
“Unfortunately not.”
“Why would you do that?”
“To find out what drugs he’s on.”
“Holy crap, Ky! Did you find anything?”
“I did. And then Donovan found me finding it.…”
Her face paled. “What’d he do?”
“Well, as it turns out, he didn’t do anything really, but it was damn close.”
“How’d you get away?”
Another heavy sigh.
“The quarterback came in and found Donovan pinning me against a locker. Said he’d throw the season if Donovan laid a hand on me.” Her expression turned dreamy. “Do not romanticize this, Tabby.”
“Are you talking about AJ Miller? AJ Miller is your hero? I have Spanish with him. He seems really nice and he’s so hot. This is romantic, Kylene.”
“Under normal circumstances, I might be inclined to agree.”
I cut myself off, not really wanting to rehash that part of my life when I was still all hopped up and shaky from my recent encounter. My hesitation seemed to pique her curiosity, and she leaned forward, taking my hand in hers. She looked at me as though she were trying to read my mind.
“Did something happen between you two before? You have some history with AJ, don’t you?”
“You could say that.”
Before she could ask me about it, Ms. Davies and the girls from class entered the locker room.
“How are we feeling, Danners? Gonna live to fight another day?”
I smiled and nodded.
“Sure thing, Coach.”
“Atta girl.”
She patted me on the back, then left so we could change for next period. Tabby dropped the AJ thing for the time being, but it was clear in the set of her brow that my reprieve wouldn’t last long. She wanted answers. And, frankly, I owed them to her.
TEN
At lunch, I grabbed a slice of pizza and made my way outside. I wanted a chance to look up the name of that drug I found in Donovan’s bag before I forgot what it was. I found an empty table and sat down, whipping my phone out so I could search for Deca-Durabolin. Article upon article came up, outlining how the anabolic steroid could be used to bulk up. It also listed a ton of side effects that could be seen when it was abused.
It read like a profile on Donovan.
“And the plot thickens.…” I said to myself, scrolling through my Google search. Interestingly, I found a headline stating that the drug could be used for various types of anemia. I deflated a bit in my seat, thinking that Donovan could be taking the drugs for legitimate reasons. But surely his doctor would have noticed the obvious signs of him abusing them? The acne. The mood swings. The aggression. Maybe even shrunken balls. I shuddered at that thought and continued scrolling.
“Whatcha doin’?” Garrett asked, plopping down next to me.
“Researching anabolic steroids. I’m thinking of beefing up a bit.”
“Ooooh, that’ll be sexy. Can’t wait to hear your man voice and play with your beard.”
“Right? I think it will really improve my standing in the school’s social hierarchy.”
He laughed. “It certainly can’t hurt it.”
“Don’t you have other friends to annoy during lunch?”
“I do, but they’ve been put on hold … at least until I get bored of you.”
I slugged him in the arm for that jab, then took a dramatic bite of my food. His playful expression slowly faded from his face when he picked up my phone and realized I wasn’t joking. I hadn’t told him about the Donovan run-ins yet. I was hoping not to have to. But I knew that look he wore—the one that said he wasn’t going to let up until he knew what was up.
“Kylene, you wanna tell me why you’re actually looking up steroids, or do I need to tickle it out of you?”
Dammit. He went right to fighting dirty. I could take a punch and not spill the beans, but tickling undid me every time.
“Listen, I don’t want you to go all Neanderthal about this, okay?”
“No knuckle-dragging. Got it. So what’s up? Why the ’roid curiosity?”
I took a deep breath.
“One of the guys on the football team is taking them, and I think they’re affecting him mentally. He’s abusing his girlfriend as a result.”
His eyes narrowed.
“Who?”
“The who isn’t super important, I just—”
“Tell me who it is.”
The hard set of his jaw made it clear that there would be no evading Garrett.
“Donovan Shipman.”
“I knew it!” he shouted before lowering his voice. “He blew up over the summer. I’ve heard of late growth spurts, but, c’mon … he’s a beast.”
“Yeah, well, he acts like one, too. The thing I can’t make sense of is that he’s getting them from a doctor. It’s all on the up-and-up.”
Garrett’s expression turned incredulous.
“Ky, just because he has a prescription for it doesn’t mean anything. He could be taking double the amount he’s supposed to. Maybe more.”
“Which means he’d run out before he was supposed to,” I said, more to myself than Garrett. “His doct
or would notice that, I think.”
“Right, but you can get those things other ways. There’s an entire market around illegal steroids.”
“Interesting … I didn’t know that was a thing.”
“Why would you? You’re not looking to put on pounds and pounds of lean mass.”
“Were you? Is that why you’re an expert?”
He scoffed. “Hardly. My dad pulled me aside freshman year, when it was clear that football was going to take me somewhere, and he gave me a long-winded lecture on them.”
“In a ‘Here’s how you get them’ kinda way, or…?”
“Um, no,” he said with a laugh. “It was more of a ‘Here’s how I’ll kill you if you take them’ kinda thing.”
“Gotcha. Well, thanks for clearing that up for me.”
“Glad I could help.”
“Hey, guys!” Tabby called as she approached our table. “Are you filling Garrett in on gym class, because I don’t want to miss this explanation!” Her tone was cheery but her expression was not. She wanted her answers. And her timing couldn’t have been worse.
Garrett was going to lose it when he put the pieces of the Donovan puzzle together.
“What happened in gym class?” Garrett asked, turning toward Tabby, who sat down across from us. Tabby shot me a look that said I can’t believe you haven’t told him yet. I shot one back that said Don’t you dare.
She ignored my warning completely.
“Ky got tackled in gym class, courtesy of one Donovan Shipman,” she explained. “Note the growing bruise by her hairline.”
Garrett shot me an irritated look.
“Well, isn’t that interesting. Ky and I were just talking about him.…”
“Ooooh boy. Here we go,” I muttered under my breath.
“That is interesting,” Tabby said. “Did she mention the part where she was sent with me to the girls’ locker room but wandered off when I went to get her an ice pack?”
“Nope. Please do fill me in.”
“The poor thing was so confused that she wandered right into the boys’ locker room.”
“I wonder what made her do that.”
Garrett turned angry eyes to me, the kind that said What in the hell did you do, Kylene? I’d seen that expression more times than I could count.
“Okay, listen, I’ll tell you. I went there to look for pills in Donovan’s backpack because I’d seen him gobbling them down in the hallway earlier. That’s where I found his stash of ’roids and why I’m Googling them right now.”
“Steroids?” she asked. I nodded in response. “Well that makes a ton of sense. But … aren’t you forgetting something?” she prompted.
When I didn’t answer, Tabby proceeded to tell him everything she knew about what I’d done and what had happened because of it. Once she finished, Garrett turned wide eyes to me.
“Are you telling me that you were alone in the boys’ locker room with someone hopped up on steroids?”
“Yes,” Tabby answered before I had the chance to speak. “And since he was already angry with her from the incident yesterday—”
If Garrett had had some freakish superpower, I’m pretty sure it would have been laser vision, because I could practically feel him burning me alive with his glare. I quickly filled him in, then I waited for him to lose it.
“I—” Garrett started, too angry to get his thoughts together. “Do you have any idea how badly he could have hurt you?”
“Which time?” I asked.
“Not helping, Ky.”
“I do, in fact. I have another pretty nasty bruise growing where the handle of the locker he slammed me against bit into—”
“I’m SERIOUS!” The volume of his voice seemed to silence the tables around us, drawing a whole lot of unwanted attention our way. The three of us sat quietly, waiting for the show to be over. After a minute or so, the others became disinterested and went back to their conversations.
“Listen, Garrett, I need you to take a breath and calm down for a minute.”
“I’ll calm down once you make me understand why you’d do something so reckless.”
I hesitated for a second.
“You do know me, right?”
“You’re impossible right now.”
“I’m sorry, okay? I don’t fully know why I did it, but if you’d seen his poor girlfriend all bruised and pitiful, don’t tell me you wouldn’t have done something, too!”
“I am six foot two and weigh almost two hundred pounds. You are five foot five and on a good day weigh one hundred and fifteen. Do you see the distinction here? Are you following the clear and present logic I’m laying out for ya?”
“Yes, Dad. I’m following.”
“If it makes you feel better, Garrett,” Tabby interrupted, “AJ Miller happened upon the whole thing and saved Ky.”
“He did not save me. You don’t need to be melodramatic about it.”
“This just keeps getting better!” Garrett exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air like he’d given up.
“I don’t get it.” Tabby’s features twisted with confusion. “Isn’t that a good thing? That he intervened?”
“I’m not sure. Was it, Ky?”
To Garrett’s credit, he softened his tone when he asked me that question. Mad though he was, he knew that encounter had to have dredged up some buried feelings. Feelings I didn’t want to deal with. Feelings I’d wished were as locked up as my father.
“He got Donovan to leave me alone. I don’t think either of them are going to be an issue anymore,” I said quietly. “But it wasn’t a good thing. Far from it, in fact.”
“Will someone please fill me in on what I’m clearly missing here? What happened between you two?” Tabby asked.
“That might be a story for another time, Tabby,” Garrett said, unwilling to take his eyes off me. “One that involves a late night and some tequila.”
“AJ did something unforgivable. You won’t approve of him so much once you hear everything.”
“I’m so sorry, Ky—”
“Of course you are, Tabby, because you’re a good person.”
Her brows furrowed for a moment as she mulled something over in her mind.
“I know that, and I really am sorry, it’s just—” She cut herself off, looking uncertain about whether or not she should say what was on her mind. Tabby seemed to have miraculously found a filter.
“What’s going on in there, Tabs? You look like you’re going to blow a gasket or something. Just spit it out.”
“I can’t seem to make sense of why someone who could do something so unforgivable to you would turn around and do something so heroic.”
“Penance? Karma? Who knows? Better yet, who cares? I know I don’t.”
“Me either,” Garrett chimed in. “He doesn’t get off that easy. Not by a long shot.”
“You’re mad at him, too?” Tabby asked. “You were friends?”
Garrett nodded.
“They were football buddies. The tightest duo on the squad.”
“You chose Kylene over AJ.” Her sentiment was not a question. She was weaving together the story of Garrett’s and my past until she had something tangible to hold on to. Something to make sense of it all.
“Long story short, Garrett didn’t take what happened well. He apparently quit the team because of it.”
“And now yesterday’s conversation is making much more sense.”
“See? You’re all caught up now. Well, mostly, but…”
“This is such a weird town,” she noted. I couldn’t help but agree.
“It’ll grow on you eventually. Like a fungus.”
“Listen, I’d love to keep this uplifting trip down memory lane going, but the bell’s going to be ringing soon, and I have to haul ass to the far end of the school so…” Garrett stood up and gave a small but gallant bow to us, then picked up his garbage and walked away.
“I really like him,” Tabby said absentmindedly. “He’s a great guy.”
I smiled. “The best. I don’t know why I ever let things get so awkward and fade between us.”
“I’m sure you had your reasons at the time. And he seems to have let that go.” She got up from her bench and cleaned up her trash. With that, we made our way back into the school. I hoped the rest of my day would pan out differently than the morning had. The threat of bodily harm was getting old.
ELEVEN
One place I could guarantee I’d be safe was the law offices of Stenson, Marcus, and Clark. Meg had offered me a cushy job with solid pay, so, like a good little soon-to-be-employee, I stopped by, just as she requested.
The historic brick building sat facing one of the oldest streets in town, still paved in cobblestones. The former home was quaint and charming—an excellent disguise for a law office. My experience with lawyers—aside from Meg—hadn’t been too stellar. I hoped that this job might prove me wrong about them.
I opened the vintage wooden double doors and walked in to find a middle-aged receptionist looking at me. She smiled and cocked her head to the side curiously before checking her computer, presumably to try to figure out who I was and why I was there.
“I don’t have an appointment,” I explained as I approached. “I’m here to see Meg—I mean Ms. Marcus. She offered me a job the other day—”
“Oh! You must be Kylene!” she said. I nodded. “Please, come with me. I’ll show you to her office.”
“Thanks.”
I fell into line behind her as she walked down a long hall with doors along the left. To the right was a large room, most likely the original dining area, which was set up as a meeting space.
“She should be available right now, but wait here while I check.”
I stopped a few feet short of the door at the end of the hall while the nameless receptionist knocked, then entered Meg’s office. Moments later she stepped out into the hall and waved me in.
“Hey, kiddo! You ready to sell your soul to come work here?”
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